Mind Fever
by MegTDJ
Summary: When Daniel contracts an alien illness that affects his mind, Janet struggles to get back the man she knew. (DanJan) COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

Title: Mind Fever  
Author: MegTDJ  
Category: Angst/drama; hurt/comfort; romance  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: Daniel/Janet, established relationship  
Spoilers: Anything up to and including season 7's Heroes.  
Summary: When Daniel contracts an alien illness that affects his mind, Janet struggles to get back the man she knew.  
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1, its universe and its characters are not mine. The story itself is, however, so please don't archive without my permission.  
Warnings: Extreme angst

Author's notes: I'm still not a Daniel-whumper, no matter how much of it there is in this fic. It's all Kerri's fault! She's the one who gave me this plot bunny in the first place! :P 

This is the first novel-length fan fiction I've written (the first novel-length _anything_ I've written), so I really hope I pulled it off well enough! 

Thanks goes to Kerri for the idea and much moral support; to Tammy for being such a great cheerleader; to Suzie for bearing with me while I babbled on and on and on about this thing day after day after day... and for kicking me in the rump to keep me on the straight and narrow with it on more than one occasion; to SaraC for making the videos that inspired a lot of the best parts of this thing (Broken and Bring Me To Life - go watch them!!!); to Michelle for making a beautiful vid just for me to get me all inspired; and to everyone else who encouraged me to keep on trucking, even though the major Daniel whumping was _killing_ me. ((hugs to all))  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox 

**Mind Fever**  
  
Janet's heart came close to breaking at the scene playing out in front of her as she and two of her medics made their way down the path leading away from the Stargate. It was never a pleasant experience when she was called off-world on a medical emergency, but the horror of this situation was almost unbearable. Wailing mothers frantically clutching their children... grown men weeping uncontrollably... twenty pairs of panic-stricken eyes pleading with her to make things right. 

She took a deep breath and tried to keep her emotions in check, but suddenly the air inside her hazmat suit seemed ten degrees warmer. She was just starting to feel an overwhelming sense of claustrophobia when a familiar form broke away from the crowd of frightened villagers and made its way towards her. Even though she couldn't see his face through the MOP gear, she knew right away who it was. 

"What's the situation, Colonel?" 

"It's bad, Doc. Whatever's affecting these people, it's spreading like a plague." He held out his gloved hand and gestured toward a large white building to her right. She and the medics followed as he ambled past the grief-stricken crowd and over to what she guessed to be the village's hospital. 

Once inside, Janet glanced around what appeared to be a waiting room. She was relieved to find that the dozen or so people milling about inside were much more calm and in control of themselves than the ones outside. Still, they looked no less frightened and helpless. 

Colonel O'Neill led them through the waiting room and into a long room that Janet recognized immediately as the main ward. Several cots were lined up against the walls, most of them occupied by frail old men, all of whom appeared to be fast asleep. 

She barely had the chance to get a look at the invalids at all, however, as the colonel led them through to yet another room, closing the door to the ward behind him. No matter - she had known immediately that they were not the patients she had come to see. Just from the little information she had been given already, she knew that the sudden outbreak SG-1 had happened upon on this alien world had a much more horrific effect on its victims. 

This fact was soon confirmed as she followed the colonel down the hallway, getting closer to the room that had been set aside for the infected. The screams were muffled, but still managed to send chills down the doctor's spine and make her wish she could wake up from the nightmare she had somehow found herself in. 

"In here, Doc." 

Janet's nerves were so on edge that Colonel O'Neill's voice, though quiet, was enough to make her jump. She nodded and managed to pull herself together enough to stop her knees from shaking before she entered the room he had indicated. 

Four figures awaited them inside, and each one stood up as they came in. Two wore standard MOP gear, while the other two wore what must be this culture's version of medical scrubs, their faces half covered with some form of surgical mask. 

"Janet," said a relieved, but terrified, Samantha Carter. "I'm glad you're here." 

"I came as soon as I could," Janet said softly. 

"Of course." Sam gave her a grateful nod and turned to the two strangers. "Dr. Janet Fraiser, this is Healer Meese and Healer Brom. Meese, Brom - this is our Healer, Dr. Janet Fraiser." 

Janet greeted the two alien doctors politely, but the observation window that spanned one wall of the small room soon captured her attention. She could hear frightened cries coming from the room on the other side of the glass. "Is that where you've quarantined the infected?" she asked, gesturing towards it. 

Sam glanced at Colonel O'Neill for a second before answering. Something about the fear and hesitation Janet read in her body language made her stomach do a somersault. "No, that's where we've quarantined those who have come in contact with the infected," Sam finally replied. 

Janet looked back and forth between Sam and O'Neill in confusion for a moment before it finally hit her. Only two in MOP gear - one was Sam and the other was... 

Oh God. 

"Are you alright, Doctor Fraiser?" She could barely hear Teal'c's deep voice through the sudden rushing sound in her ears as her heart began to pound twice as hard as it should. 

"Where's Daniel?" she managed to choke out of her rapidly constricting throat. 

Not bothering to wait for an answer, she darted over to the observation window. She knew deep down what she would find, but it didn't make the sight any easier for her. 

There he was, sitting on the floor with his back leaning against the far wall of the room. 

Daniel. 

His knees were propped up and his arms were wrapped tightly around them, almost as if he was hugging himself to gain some sense of comfort. There were others with him, but he had distanced himself from them as far as the small room would allow. Janet couldn't blame him for that - half of his companions were panicking, trying to claw their way out of the room or pounding on the door and calling for help. The rest had found their own secluded corners as he had, and were either quietly crying to themselves or rocking back and forth in a clear state of shock. 

If her heart hadn't quite broken at what she'd seen thus far, it was certainly breaking as she looked at the expression on Daniel's face. He looked alone, helpless, and more frightened than she had ever seen him before. 

She couldn't tear her eyes away from him even as she felt someone come to stand beside her. "The first victim was a little girl," O'Neill told her in a soft, comforting tone. "We were talking to some of the villagers when she suddenly started screaming and then collapsed. You know Daniel; he was there in a heartbeat, picked her up, and carried her straight here. Even after he knew... even after we realized it was contagious... her parents were sick, too, so he stayed with her. Held her hand until..." 

Janet knew he wasn't going to finish that sentence. He didn't need to. She knew that Daniel would only have left that little girl's side if he could no longer be of any comfort to her. 

She felt the colonel move away from her again, and heard the muted voices of SG-1 coming from across the room. She knew she should go and join them, ask questions and listen impartially to the answers, learn as much as she could about this illness and then get to work at finding a cure. She knew she shouldn't be standing there staring at Daniel in stunned silence, yet she couldn't seem to move. 

Her mind was racing, flipping through images of this man through the years that she'd known him almost as though it was playing her the movie of her life on fast forward. The time when he had been left behind on Nem's planet, the rest of SG-1 having been implanted with the memory of his death; the time when he had become addicted to the sarcophagus and went through a massive case of withdrawal; the time when he had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and admitted to mental health; the time when she had watched him die slowly from radiation poisoning, only to watch him ascend and disappear from her life for more than a year; the time when, just after getting him back from the land of the ascended, he had been taken over by the minds of a dozen or more aliens who were then reluctant to leave him; and finally the time when he had been kidnapped and tortured by Honduran rebels. 

All the times she had almost lost him, either to illness or to the enemy, played out before her in her mind's eye. Every time this man had come close to death, she had realized more and more how much he meant to her. For years she had been too afraid to tell him that she had found herself falling in love with him, but after the incident with the alien consciousnesses taking over his mind, she had realized that she would forever regret it if he were to die without knowing how she felt. She had thrown caution to the wind and told him everything, and much to her surprise, he hadn't batted an eye. In fact, he had told her that the feeling was mutual, and that he, too, had been too afraid to let her know how much he loved her in case it had ruined their close friendship. 

The months that had followed had been the happiest of Janet's life... until today. 

Looking at the man she loved, sitting in a room full of terrified strangers who knew they were soon going to die horrible, painful deaths was too much for Janet to bear. She stifled a sob that threatened to break free despite her most valiant efforts to keep herself under control. Not caring who was watching, she stepped closer to the glass and gently touched it with her gloved fingertips. "Daniel," she whispered. 

As if somehow sensing her presence, Daniel slowly raised his head and looked over at the window. Any question in Janet's mind about whether or not it was one-way or two-way glass was put to rest as he made direct eye contact with her. The expression on his face never wavered, however, as he moved his hand in a slight wave of acknowledgment. 

A piercing scream from one of his roommates interrupted the moment, and Daniel's arms reflexively tightened around his legs. A look of terror passed over his features momentarily before he took a deep breath and buried his face in his arms. 

Janet watched him for a moment longer as she heard someone rush out of the room she was in. Healer Meese entered the quarantined room a moment later, and he and two other men managed to fend off those who were trying to escape in order to get to the woman who had just shrieked and dropped to the ground, unconscious. She watched as the woman was carried away and the door was closed and locked securely behind them. 

Finally, Janet turned around to see that Colonel O'Neill, Sam, Teal'c, and Brom's eyes were all trained upon her. Sam, at least, had the decency to look quickly away and pretend that she hadn't been staring at her the whole time. 

"What do you need me to do?" Janet asked of Brom. 

She was determined that Daniel wouldn't have to go through what that woman was now experiencing. It was time to get down to business. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox  
  
To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**Mind Fever - Chapter 2**

  
  
"We call it the 'mind fever.' It sweeps through our population every few years, killing many before it can finally be contained. We cannot predict when it will strike, as we do not know what causes it."

Janet listened attentively to Brom's words, knowing that everything she learned about this illness could be crucial towards finding a cure. "You haven't noticed any kind of pattern at all? No common event that might set it off? A set amount of time between outbreaks?"

Brom shook his head in reply to each question.

Janet sighed in frustration. "How does it manifest itself?" she asked.

"Manifest...?" Brom repeated in confusion.

"The symptoms. What happens when a person contracts this... 'mind fever'?"

Brom nodded once in understanding. "Weakness at first... a feeling of exhaustion. This is why the first case seems to come upon us without warning. The victim is contagious before they know they are ill, as most believe they are only tired, or perhaps coming down with a mild virus.

"The mind fever itself comes on quickly, with no sign as to its approach. One moment the person seems fine, and the next... screaming. Then they fall to the ground as though they are dead. When they awaken, they talk of strange things - images no one else can see; sounds no one else can hear. They believe they are somewhere else, most often a frightening moment from their past. They talk as though they are there. Their mind goes out of control, throwing memories at them as though they are real." Brom hesitated, swallowing hard as if a lump had formed in his throat.

"Please, go on," Janet encouraged him.

"Then comes the fever. Their bodies become so hot, yet they shiver as with cold. Many die at this stage, but for those who live... the worst is yet to come. Painful sores, muscle spasms, severe pain, seizures... and through it all, their minds continue to feed them wrong information. They think those that are trying to help them are trying to do them harm. They describe seeing terrible things that I can hardly imagine. Those who die at this point do so with screams that haunt my dreams forever after."

Janet couldn't hold back a shudder at the thought of Daniel experiencing such things, but she managed to keep her voice steady as she asked, "Some survive beyond that point?"

Brom nodded slowly. "Some. But those who do are forever altered. Their minds never recover, though their bodies might. None who have experienced the 'mind fever' live longer than a year after. They do not know their own families... all they know is the fear and the invisible enemies they believe surround them at all times. None can live that way for long. In the end, they take their own lives."

Janet refused to believe that this was a no-win situation. "So, you have no idea what causes it, and you have no idea how to treat it," she mused aloud, staring absently down at her hands. She turned the information she'd been given over and over in her mind. "Hallucinations, high fever, sores, muscle pain, seizures... lies dormant for years and suddenly rears its ugly head again with no warning... causes permanent brain damage in those who survive..." She turned back to Brom, who was studying her curiously. "How contagious is it? Does it seem to be passed from one person to the next through the air, or does it require physical contact...?"

"We believe it is passed through close physical contact. Even then, not everyone who comes in contact with one who is ill contracts the disease."

"Really?" Janet sat up straighter in her chair at this word of hope.

Brom nodded emphatically. "Some, like myself, appear to be immune. Others may avoid contracting it one time, but succumb the next..."

Janet was almost bouncing in her seat by this time, and cut Brom off mid-sentence. "You're immune? You're sure?"

"Yes, I have worked as a healer for many years, come in contact with the 'mind fever' many times, but it does not affect me."

"Do you mind if I take a sample of your blood? I might be able to find the cure if I can find out what causes your immunity." She jumped up from her seat as she spoke, grabbing her med kit before Brom even had a chance to answer.

'Where there is immunity, there is hope,' she thought to herself. 'Just hang on, Daniel.'

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Daniel glanced at his watch, surprised to see that he'd only been locked in this room for an hour. It felt more like a day. Or more.

There were only five people left in the room with him now. The rest had all been taken away, but only after uttering the most blood curdling screams he'd ever heard and then falling unconscious. He certainly wasn't looking forward to it being his turn.

He buried his face in his arms again, not wanting to watch his companions pacing back and forth, wringing their hands. Every now and then, one of them would give a choked cry or a moan of despair. They knew what lay ahead of them. This illness was not unknown to them. In fact, it seemed to be the biggest fear of these people as a whole, and it was coming true.

Daniel knew what it was like to go crazy, and he knew what it was like to die a slow and painful death. Neither experience was one he wanted to relive.

Suddenly feeling a hand grasp his arm, Daniel just about jumped out of his socks. He looked up to find one of his frightened companions squatting beside him, his eyes wide with near panic.

"You and your friends... you will save us?" the man asked desperately.

"I...I don't know," Daniel stammered, wishing he could honestly give the man the answer he wanted. "I'm sorry, I don't know."

The man gave a piteous groan. "My wife... she is dying, and I cannot go to her!"

"I'm sorry."

He seemed to sense that Daniel was earnest in his apology, and gave him an appreciative half-smile. "Still, it may be alright in the end," he said, obviously trying to make himself believe it. "We will soon be together again... won't we?"

Daniel's heart ached at the wistful look in the other man's eyes. "Yes," he said gently. "I believe you will."

The man seemed content with that thought. He stood up and crossed to the other side of the room, where he then sat down to wait.

His words had struck a chord with Daniel. How often had he consoled himself over the years since Sha're's death with the thought that he would see her again someday? How often had he faced death with no fear, believing that she would be waiting for him on the other side?

Why was that thought not comforting him now?

He knew the answer to that question before he even thought it. He had often heard it said that he who does not fear death has nothing to live for. He knew now that it was true - he didn't want to die because he didn't want to leave Janet. He didn't want her to go through the grief he had experienced at the loss of Sha're. And, on a more selfish note, he didn't want to go anywhere that he couldn't see her face or hear her voice every single day.

He did not want to die!

Daniel could feel a sob rising in his throat and he fought to hold it back. He couldn't break down - not yet. He knew it would come eventually, whether he liked it or not. Until then, he had to be strong. Janet was here, in this building. He had seen her at the observation window minutes earlier, and he knew she was already working hard at finding a cure. He also knew, however, that even if she did find a cure, it would be too late to do him any good. He didn't want her to remember him as a blubbering mess. He wanted whatever moments they might still have together to be as pain free for her as possible.

He didn't even look up this time as a piercing shriek burst forth from one of his companions. He kept his head down as he heard the door opening, the rustle of people wearing protective gear rushing in, and the anxious questions each of his four remaining roommates rattled off at whoever had come to take the infected person away. He'd seen it play out a dozen times already. He didn't need to see it again.

To his surprise, after he heard the door close he again felt a hand on his arm, although this time the touch was soft and light, not a panicked grasp. He looked up, hoping but not daring to believe it was who he thought it was.

It was.

"Janet?"

"Hey, Daniel. How are you holding up?"

Her voice was muffled through the hazmat mask, but it was still the most welcome sound he had ever heard. "I'm..." He was about to say that he was fine, but then he realized how stupid that would sound given his situation. "I'm hanging in there," he finished, forcing a tiny smile.

He couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw tears fill her eyes at his statement. "Good," she said, returning the smile and squeezing his arm. "That's all I ask of you right now, Daniel. Just keep on hanging in there, okay? We're working on finding a cure for this thing, but it's going to take time."

Despite his feeling that he wouldn't be getting out of this situation alive, just knowing that Janet was here and that she seemed confident that she could find a cure filled him with a sense of comfort and peace. For the first time since he had seen that poor little girl pass out hours earlier, he felt able to relax and let go of the heavy weight that had formed around his heart. He sighed and leaned his head back against the wall, his smile still in place. "I will. I promise."

A look of fear passed across Janet's face momentarily as his eyes began to droop. "Daniel? Are you feeling alright?"

Daniel suddenly remembered that the first symptom of the illness was exhaustion, and he realized how it must look that he had suddenly relaxed and come close to drifting off to sleep. He quickly lifted his head and said, "Yeah, I'm okay. Don't worry, I haven't shown any symptoms yet."

Janet gave a heavy sigh of relief. "That's good, because I just found out that not everyone who comes in contact with the afflicted catches this illness. In fact, Brom told me that he and a few others are immune."

"That's great."

"Yeah, it is. So, I'd like to take a sample of your blood to see if you've contracted the virus or not. Is that okay?"

"Of course." Daniel slipped his arm out of the sleeve of his jacket while Janet fished in her med kit for a needle. He was wearing a t-shirt, which certainly made things like this easier.

He held his arm out and watched as Janet tied the rubber band around his bicep, rubbed an alcohol wipe over the crook of his elbow, located a vein, and inserted the needle. He watched her face as his blood began to fill the tube. She was so intent on her work that she didn't even seem to notice his attention. He was glad of that - it was so much nicer to admire her without her knowledge.

And admire her he did. Ever since they had first met, he had been impressed by her grace in the most harrowing situations, and he had never been able to ignore the beauty of her dark eyes and trim, petite figure. It was at times like these - when she was caring for the sick and dying, and basically doing what she did best - that her inner beauty shone through more than ever, and transformed her into the closest thing to his idea of an angel that Daniel had ever seen.

His love for her was overwhelming, and he hated the thought that this might be the last time he would see her before he lost his mind and died. There was so much he needed to say to her first. Too many words had been left unspoken, and there was so much they had never had a chance to do together.

Once the blood was drawn, a bandage placed over the puncture mark, and Janet was putting everything back into her kit, he reached out a hand and touched her arm.

She looked up from what she was doing and turned her full attention onto him. His love for her must have been written all over his face, because her expression changed in an instant from one of duty-driven detachment to one of heartbroken love and empathy.

"Janet," he began quietly, not wanting to be overheard by the others in the room, "this might be the last chance I get to say some things to you, so..."

"No, Daniel, it's not..."

"Please." He raised a finger, motioning for her to stop talking. "Please, just... let me say this, okay?"

She nodded, so he took a deep breath and continued.

"Janet, no matter what happens... I want you to know that I don't regret coming here, and I don't regret helping that little girl. I don't want you to regret it, either. I know you'll find some way to help these people, but if it doesn't come in time to save me, it's alright." He hesitated for a moment, but at Janet's nod he continued. "I also... I don't regret... our time together."

He felt a tremor pass through Janet's body through the hand that still rested on her arm. "I don't either," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

A sad smile flickered across his face, but he then turned serious again. "I only regret that we'll be separated so soon. I don't want you to have to watch me die. Not again."

Janet shook her head firmly. "It doesn't have to come to that, Daniel. These people don't have the technology or medicines we have. I'm positive we can be of help to them, if only to make the sick more comfortable throughout the illness so that they'll be strong enough to fight through it. You are _not_ going to die."

Daniel smiled fondly at her passionate response. "I thought you might say something like that."

"It's the truth, Daniel. I won't let it happen." Her voice caught on the last word as she tried to rein in her emotions.

Daniel simply gazed at her for a long moment, and when he finally spoke the words came straight from his heart.

"I love you, Janet."

There was so much more that he wanted to say, but he found himself unable to say any more than that. It was, however, enough.

Janet laid her gloved hand on his cheek. "I love you, too. Just keep your promise to me, okay? Hang in there."

Daniel was about to reply when a voice from behind Janet reminded them that they were not alone.

"Dr. Fraiser? We're done collecting the blood samples. Where do you want us to take them?"

Janet stood up at the sound of her name and turned her attention onto the medics standing expectantly by the door. "Brom is setting up a lab in a room at the end of the hall," she replied. "Take the samples down there. I'll be with you in a moment."

The medics nodded and signaled to the people in the observation room that they were ready to leave. Once they were gone, Janet turned back to Daniel.

"I'll let you know the results of the tests once I get them," she promised. "And if you're going to be in here a while, I'll see what I can do about bringing in cots for everyone."

Daniel glanced at his watch and grimaced. "I don't think you really need to worry about that, Janet," he said, giving her a meaningful look.

Janet either didn't hear the comment, or refused to acknowledge it. "See you later," she said as she signaled to be let out of the room.

Daniel watched her leave, feeling as though his soul was leaving with her. "Goodbye."  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued... 


	3. Chapter 3

**Mind Fever - Chapter 3**

  
  
Janet sighed as the sedative she had administered to her thrashing patient began to kick in. The man finally started to calm down, and within moments he lay perfectly still, aside from the rapid rise and fall of his chest with each breath.

"Start the IV," Janet instructed nurse Rachel Penner. "Now that he's not fighting us, maybe we can do something about his dehydration."

"Yes, Doctor."

Janet moved on to the next cot, in which lay a frightened young woman who was growing more and more distressed. "Get them away!" she cried. "Please! Get them away!"

"Shhhh, it's alright," Janet soothed, but the woman did not acknowledge her.

"The madwa are coming! They'll take her! My baby! Get them away from us! Please!"

"Brom?" Janet called as she saw the healer enter the ward.

He hurried over to her. "Yes, Dr. Fraiser?"

"What is she saying?"

Brom listened to the young woman's delirious ranting for a moment before replying. "The madwa are a legend among our people - beasts who feed on the flesh of infants. Merely stories made up to frighten young children. She is seeing things that are simply not there."

Janet looked on in sympathy as the young woman screamed in terror and curled up into a fetal position on the bed. "Nurse Penner," she called.

When the nurse appeared at her side a second later, Janet gave her quick instructions on which antibiotics and antipyretics to administer to the woman in order to prevent her sores from getting infected and hopefully lower her temperature a few degrees. Then she moved on to her next patient.

It went on this way for what seemed like hours, but what according to her watch was only forty-five minutes. She had just begun to feel like she was making some headway when Sam beckoned her over to the doorway.

"What is it, Sam?" she asked, concern making her stomach sink into her shoes at the look of despair on her friend's face.

"We have the results of those tests you wanted us to run."

Here it comes, Janet thought. She braced herself for the worst. "And?"

Sam didn't come right out and say it, but it didn't matter. The look on her face said it all. "I'm sorry, Janet."

Janet took a deep breath and nodded. "I want to be the one to tell him."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Daniel looked up slowly as the door opened again. It had been a relatively quiet hour since Janet had paid them her short visit, but it hadn't made the waiting any easier.

His roommates rose to their feet as Janet, Brom, and two men he didn't know entered the room. Daniel stayed seated on the floor. He had been in the same position for so long that he knew his legs would protest if he tried to stand, but the truth was, he was just too tired to bother moving anyway.

He watched as Brom approached the other four of the room's occupants. "My friends, I have some good news for you," the healer said. "You do not have the mind fever. You will be free to return to your homes once you have bathed and changed your clothes."

Three relieved sighs and bright smiles followed this announcement, but one stifled cry did not go unnoticed by Daniel. The man who had spoken to him earlier sank to the ground and began to sob.

"Mika, did you not understand me?" Brom asked. "You are well. You can return home."

"He doesn't want to," Daniel wearily spoke up for the weeping man. "He has nothing to go home to."

Everyone else in the room became deathly silent, not even daring to breathe as Mika sobbed out his grief. After a few moments, however, Brom indicated for the other two men to escort him away, and within moments the room was empty of everyone but Daniel, Brom, and Janet.

"Daniel..." Janet began, squatting down to bring herself to Daniel's eye level.

"You don't have to say it, Janet," he cut in. "I already know."

Janet looked stricken, his calm acceptance of the inevitable seeming to shake her more than the knowledge that he had the virus had done. "There is hope, Daniel," she asserted. "Some of the drugs I requested be brought here from the SGC seem to be helping everyone I've managed to get them into so far. I already know which ones work for lowering the high fever, lessening the severity of the seizures... We'll get through this, Daniel. I promise you that."

Daniel wordlessly reached out for her hand and guided it to the back of his neck. He rolled his head to the side, effectively holding her hand in place as he sighed and closed his eyes.

"Are you in pain?"

"Headache," he answered, the word slurred with exhaustion.

"I can give you something for that if you want."

Daniel opened his eyes a crack and looked at her. His heart ached even more than his throbbing head at the look of anxiety and empathy on her face. "No, it's fine," he said, lifting his head and releasing her hand. "Don't worry about me. You should be with your other patients right now."

Janet stroked the side of his face and shook her head. "I don't want to leave you alone like this..."

"It doesn't matter, Janet," he said with as much firmness as he could muster. "They need you more than I do. Besides," he added with a half-hearted smile, "we'll be spending lots of time together soon enough."

Janet swallowed so hard he could almost hear it through her hazmat mask. She darted a quick glance around the room. "This place is too much like a cell," she murmured. "I wanted them to bring in a cot for you, but they were all needed for..."

"I've had worse."

She nodded and sagged a little in sadness. "I'll send Colonel O'Neill in to stay with you until..." Her voice trailed off before she could finish her thought.

Daniel gave an appreciative nod. "Thanks." He certainly hadn't relished the thought of being locked away all by himself.

Janet patted his arm softly as she rose to her feet.

A sudden feeling of drunkenness washed over him as he looked down at the hand that rested for a moment on his sleeve. He couldn't drag his eyes away from it, and while he knew that his mind must be playing tricks on him, he wasn't able to completely deny what he saw. He studied it curiously, finding the absurdity of what he was seeing strangely addictive.

It was shrinking.

He watched in fascination as Janet turned to leave, wondering why she was moving in slow motion. He heard her speak but couldn't understand what she was saying. He saw her lift her hand towards the window on the opposite wall, heard the door swing open, saw Brom exiting the room...

Shrinking. Everything was shrinking. Everyone was moving in slow motion. Every sound had its own echo, and they were getting quieter and quieter as everything around him got smaller and smaller.

His mind started trying to rationalize what he was seeing, but he found he couldn't do it. What was going on? What was happening to him? He couldn't remember where he was, couldn't focus his mind on any one coherent thought. Everything inside his head - every thought, sound, and image - was floating around, rising and falling, always out of his reach. He tried so hard, but couldn't grasp onto reality. It was slipping away from him and he couldn't stop it. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe...

Suddenly, his fascination turned into panic. He lunged forward and grasped Janet's ankle just as she was about to walk through the door. He didn't understand the words she shouted at him. Her voice sounded far away, her words garbled. Everything around him began to wave in and out of focus, growing and shrinking, growing and shrinking in time to the steady throbbing in his head.

He could only hear one sound now, and it was getting louder, splitting his head in two with its intensity. His throat felt strained and he struggled to draw in a breath. The noise stopped as he gulped in a lungful of air, but began again in earnest a moment later.

Blackness was already descending over his mind as he realized what the sound was - it was the sound of his own terror-filled screams.

This was the end.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox  
  
To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

**Mind Fever - Chapter 4**

  
  
Janet cried out as Daniel lunged for her and grabbed her ankle. "Daniel! What are you doing?" Before the words were even out of her mouth, he began to scream. It started out as a low moan, but quickly escalated into a panicked wail that made her blood run cold. Part of her had been expecting it to happen at any moment, yet nothing could have prepared her for the sound that was coming from the man she loved.

"Help me!" she called to the open-mouthed spectators who stood as still as statues outside the door. Brom mutely shook his head. Janet got the message - there was nothing anyone could do until he fell unconscious.

The grip Daniel had on her ankle was so strong that she feared it might break, and his screams were so loud and shrill that she was sure she'd go deaf if it went on much longer.

Suddenly, Daniel pulled at her leg with such force that she fell to the ground in a crumpled heap beside him. Her head knocked against the wall on the way down, and for a moment everything whirled around her like she was trapped inside a giant kaleidoscope.

As soon as the sickening motion stopped, her full attention snapped back onto Daniel. She got to her knees and hovered over his now-still form. Even though he was now unconscious, a look of fear still marred his features, and his cheeks were already an unhealthy red from his rapidly rising temperature.

Janet looked up to see Brom and his assistants tentatively entering the room. "I'm okay," she said in answer to Brom's concerned glance. "Let's get him to the ward," she instructed as she scrambled to her feet.

Brom nodded and motioned for one of the men to carry Daniel into the other room.

Janet stood back and watched as Daniel was raised to a sitting position and then hoisted onto the man's shoulders, as limp as a rag doll. She tried to ignore her racing heart and fought to get her breathing under control, determined that even though she was caught in a living nightmare, she would stay strong - _had_ to stay strong, if these people were going to live. If _Daniel_ was going to live.

"Doc?" came a voice from the doorway.

Janet turned to face a terrified Jack O'Neill. He had traded his MOP gear in for one of Brom's surgical masks, so the fear in his eyes was plainly visible. She gave him a sympathetic look as she answered his unspoken question. "He has the 'mind fever', Colonel. We're taking him into the fever ward now." The words didn't really need to be said, but Janet knew she'd go crazy if she didn't do _something_ to break the sudden silence.

The colonel gave a short nod of reluctant acceptance and stepped aside as Daniel was carried from the room. "Making any headway on a cure?" It was more of a plea than a question.

"We're working on it, Colonel, believe me," she answered, her voice shaking more than she would normally allow it to. "It's going to take some time, but in the meantime we're working on ways to make the infected more comfortable."

She moved to walk past him, but he fell into step beside her as she made her way down the hall after Brom. "Is there anything I can do? Me and Teal'c... we don't have much to do, and we'd rather help out than just sit around waiting."

Janet knew the feeling. "Of course, Sir. We can use all the help we can get. Would you be able to bathe the afflicted with cool cloths to try to keep their body temperatures down?"

Before he could answer, another scream echoed through the halls from somewhere else in the building. Colonel O'Neill shivered at the sound, but his voice was steady when he spoke. "Sure, Doc. Just tell me what to do."

Janet forced a tiny smile of gratitude. Then she took a deep breath and entered the ward.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"SG-1, this is General Hammond. Please come in."

Teal'c moved closer to the MALP and looked straight into the camera that was attached to it. "General Hammond," he greeted the disembodied voice.

"Teal'c. It's good to see you're safe and well, son. What's happening over there?"

"Many of the people of this village have fallen ill, but Dr. Fraiser believes she may be of great help in keeping them alive. Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter, and myself are providing aid toward that end."

"And Dr. Jackson?"

Teal'c paused for a moment before answering the general's question. He had delivered bad news about his friend on more than one occasion, and it was never an easy thing for him to do. His voice softened with emotion as he replied, "Daniel Jackson has contracted the disease. I am afraid he is most unwell."

General Hammond sighed, and Teal'c didn't have to see the man's face to know that this information had affected him badly. "What's his prognosis, Teal'c?"

"I am unsure," Teal'c answered honestly. "However, he is strong, and Dr. Fraiser is doing everything she can to find a cure. I believe there is hope."

"That's good to know, son," General Hammond said. "Is there anything else you require? Supplies? More medical personnel?"

"Dr. Fraiser believes a team of doctors and scientists would be most helpful in finding a cure."

"They'll be there within the hour. Anything else?"

Teal'c tilted his head slightly as he pondered the answer to this question. "Indeed there is, General Hammond. Dr. Fraiser requested that I ask you for a somewhat personal favour."

"Of course. Anything I can do."

Teal'c took a deep breath, remembering the look on the doctor's care-worn face as she had spoken to him a few minutes earlier. He knew how much she cared for Daniel Jackson, and how deep her concern must go in order for her to make the request she had made. "I believe she wishes you to pray for Daniel Jackson's safe return," he said. He knew that General Hammond would understand the extreme gravity of the situation just from those few words.

General Hammond was silent for a moment before he spoke again. "I already have been, Teal'c. Tell Dr. Fraiser that we're all sending our thoughts and prayers his way." His gentle tone was enough to tell Teal'c that he had received the message and understood how bad things were likely to get.

Teal'c bowed his head respectfully to the camera. "I will. Thank you, General Hammond."

"Good luck, Teal'c. To all of you. Keep me informed. Hammond out."

Teal'c had barely enough time to make another slight bow of acknowledgment before the gate shut down with a "woop." Without wasting another moment, he made his way back to the hospital, determined to be of help in any way he could.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

After having a quick word with Teal'c, Janet quickly changed from her clunky hazmat suit to scrubs, gloves, and surgical mask and headed over to Daniel's bedside. "Okay, we need to do as much for him as we can before he comes to," she said, getting right down to business. "Let's see if we can stave off the high fever as long as possible by cooling him down right away. Colonel, if you could tie down his arms and legs, that would be a big help."

"Tie him down?!"

The indignant surprise in the colonel's tone dragged Janet's attention away from her unconscious patient, and she shot him an apologetic look. "As soon as he wakes up, Sir, he'll be thrashing around and trying to get away. We've had to resort to restraining the sick once the illness reaches a certain stage. It'll be much easier for us all if we restrain him now before the need arises."

O'Neill nodded reluctantly and took the restraints Nurse Penner was holding out to him.

Janet gave an inward sigh of relief. As much as she hated the thought of Daniel becoming as panicked and ultimately violent as the rest of her patients were, she knew it was inevitable. While seeing his arms and legs tied down made her feel sick to her stomach with empathy, it was the only way to keep him from hurting himself or others and prevent him from fighting them off when they tried to administer the drugs that could help save his life.

She only wished there was a sedative that was strong enough to knock him out completely for the next day or so, until the illness had run its full course. No matter what she had tried on the rest of her patients, however, the best result she had gotten was to have them calm down somewhat. She wasn't looking forward to watching him being tormented by hallucinations and memories he had tried to suppress, unable to help him through it in any way that he would respond to.

A minute later, Daniel's restraints were securely in place and Nurse Penner was instructing Colonel O'Neill on how to keep his body temperature down using cold compresses. Janet took a moment to stroke the side of the sleeping man's face before she kicked back into professional mode and moved along to check on the man in the next bed.

Brom approached her as she looked over the man's chart. "Doctor Fraiser?"

"Yes?"

The healer looked hesitant to say whatever he wanted to say, but his tone held nothing but respectful curiosity when he spoke. "Forgive me, but I couldn't help but notice... Daniel Jackson... he is your mate, is he not?"

Janet felt as though she should be surprised by the question, yet she wasn't. If it was that obvious to perfect strangers what she and Daniel meant to each other, then so be it. "I guess you could say that, yes."

Brom's face suddenly looked graver than ever, which Janet felt was quite an accomplishment. "I am so very sorry."

The implication behind his words - that Daniel wasn't going to make it; that she was about to lose her "mate" forever in the most horrible way imaginable - only served to turn the tiny flame of anger and determination that had been festering in Janet's heart ever since she had found out that Daniel was ill into a raging inferno. She donned her most intimidating glare and the stance to match as she took a deep breath to reply. "You have to understand something about Daniel, Brom. He's been in situations like this before - in fact, I watched him die a slow and painful death right in front of my eyes once. He has always... _always_ come away victorious. I don't intend to give up on him so quickly, and neither should you."

Rarely had she seen a man become quite so nervous and penitent as quickly as Brom did under her intense stare. She knew he had done nothing to deserve it, but she was an inch away from screaming and pulling her hair out at the unfairness of it all. Brom was the only one close at hand, so it was all too easy to just take it out on him.

"I...I'm sorry..." he stammered.

A wave of regret washed over Janet as she saw how anxious she had made him feel, fear that he had somehow insulted one of the visitors from Earth plainly written on his face. "No, I'm the one who's sorry, Brom. I shouldn't have..."

Janet's apology was cut short by a frightened cry coming from Daniel's direction. "Janet?!"

She rushed back over to Daniel's bedside at lightning speed. "Daniel?"

His eyes darted frantically around the room and his hands tugged at his restraints. "Where is it? Janet? Where did it go?"

"Where's what, Daniel? Look, try to calm down, okay? There's nothing..."

"The Ree'tou! I saw it... it's right behind you!" His breath came in short, panicked gasps as he strained to break free. "I can't move! I've got to kill it!"

Colonel O'Neill hovered at Janet's side, holding a damp cloth in his hands. "It's okay, Daniel. There aren't any Ree'tou here. Just relax."

"Sir... I think he's reliving the memory of the Ree'tou attack on the SGC," she told him quietly. She remembered the event all too well... Daniel and Colonel O'Neill had burst into the infirmary and yelled for everyone to get down while they scanned the room with TER's for the invisible aliens. Chaos had broken loose, and Daniel had finally been the one to fire the shot that had killed the last remaining Ree'tou before it could kill everyone in the infirmary... including her.

"NOOOO!" Daniel screamed, twisting his body as if trying to worm his way out of his bonds. "Let me go! I have to kill it! It'll kill you! Janet!!"

Janet motioned for the nearest nurse. "There's no point in waiting. We have to sedate him now."

The nurse nodded and handed her a syringe before she even had to ask for it.

Janet took it and inserted its contents into Daniel's IV. Within moments, his thrashing ceased and he stopped crying out. His head still tossed from side to side and every now and then he moaned and muttered something incoherent, but at least he wasn't hurting himself trying to break free.

"What the hell was that?" Colonel O'Neill's eyes were wide as he looked to Janet for an explanation. She knew he had seen some of what this disease did to its victims, but this was the first time he had been witness to a full-blown hallucinatory episode.

"He was hallucinating, Sir. To him, it was as though he was back in the infirmary five years ago, seeing and hearing all that he saw and heard back then, only being tied to a bed and not being able to do anything to stop the Ree'tou from killing everyone. This is only the beginning, Sir. I would imagine he has memories far worse than that that will come out and haunt him within the next few hours."

O'Neill swallowed hard. "I knew what to expect, it just..."

Janet nodded in understanding. "Just try to keep him cool and as calm as possible. Call me if his condition changes."

At his nod, she left his side to attend to her other patients.

There was no doubt about it - this was the worst day of her life.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox  
  
To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5

**Mind Fever - Chapter 5**

Sam peered down through the lens of her microscope, adjusting the focus little by little until the droplets of blood in the petrie dish came into focus. 'Fascinating,' she thought. 'If only I knew what I was looking at.'

Biology had never been one of her favourite subjects, but she had picked up enough over the years to feel qualified to assist in looking for a cure. A handful of doctors and scientists had arrived from Earth and set up shop in two of the alien hospital's laboratories, where they were studying the blood samples taken from the infected and the immune, and performing autopsies on those who had died of the disease. So far, they'd found no clues that might lead to a cure, but they kept on working diligently, confident that the answer would come to them eventually.

At least, they were confident on the outside. Sam could see all too well, however, that they were secretly beginning to think that they weren't going to find a cure for this disease - especially not in time to do Daniel any good.

"How are you doing, Major?"

Sam turned to look over her shoulder at Dr. James, the doctor who was overseeing the research team. "Well, to be honest, I have no idea what I'm looking at here," Sam replied. She scooted her chair aside so that he could access the microscope easily.

Dr. James took a quick look. "Ah, this is one of the samples from the infected." He picked up the container Sam had taken the specimen from and checked the label. His face drained of what little colour it had and he placed it quickly back down on the table. "It's Dr. Jackson's," he said, avoiding making eye contact with her.

Sam swallowed hard and wheeled her chair back into place in order to take another look. "So, are those..." she made a vague gesture with her hand, not knowing how to describe the odd looking cells floating around in Daniel's blood.

"That's the virus, yes."

Sam looked up at him, puzzled. "Doesn't look much like a virus."

"No, that's the strange thing. It doesn't look like anything I've ever seen before. It has properties similar to snake's venom, but at the same time, it's almost like a form of parasite, literally feeding on brain cells and attacking the nervous system. It only takes one microscopic organism to infect a body, and as soon as it reaches the brain it begins to feed and multiply. Once a certain number of these organisms are present in the brain..." He shrugged, not needing to finish his sentence.

"So... if it's brain cells that they feed on, and the immune system can't seem to do anything to stop them, how is it that some people are immune?"

"I only wish I knew, Major," Dr. James replied. He rubbed a hand across his weary face and leaned back against the table. "I can't find any significant differences between the blood of the infected and that of the immune. I must be missing something somewhere, but I'm damned if I know what or how to find it."

Sam laid a reassuring hand on his arm. "Just relax, Taylor. The answer's there somewhere. We'll find it."

He sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Sam," he said, using her given name for only the second time in all the years they had been working together at the SGC. "Even if we do find it... I just don't think it'll be in time to help Dr. Jackson."

Sam nodded slowly. "I know. But that doesn't mean we stop trying."

Dr. James studied her face for a moment, and Sam kept her expression calm and her gaze level until he gave her a quick nod in return. "Yes, ma'am," he said, forcing a smile. Then he turned on his heel and went back to his research station.

Sam only wished she felt as confident as she pretended to be. "Keep on trying," she murmured to herself as she turned her attention back to her microscope. "If at first you don't succeed..."

The answer would come. It had to.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

_Dark. So dark._

And hot. Too hot.

Heat... burning... fire... Netu.

"We've come to see Bynarr!"

_No, Sam... don't go with him... he wants to kill you..._

"You shall call me Na'onak no longer. From this day forth I will reclaim my real name... Apophis."

_No..._

"What?"

No, I'm not telling you...

"Ah, come on. You know me, I just can't remember."

No.

"You told me before."

NO!

This is not real...

_This isn't happening..._

"The Stargate uses space-time to create a wormhole that allows us to travel across great distances, it doesn't take you to an alternate reality."

Alternate reality?

"Time's up!"

_The gate is spinning... not dialing fast enough..._ COME ON!

"Auto destruct in one minute."

_Teal'c... no... so close... gotta run for it!_

Staff blast... pain... hurts so bad... burning hot...

"Daniel, watch our backs."

Jack!!

"Daniel! Dammit!"

I'll be dead anyway, just get out of here.

"I am not leaving you here, Daniel."

Get out of here! You're just going to blow up with the other ship anyway, what difference does it make? Go! Just go! I'll stay and watch your back.

_Stay and watch your back... can I make it to the sarcophagus?_

Arms won't move... I'm not gonna make it... I'm dying... oh God! I'm dying!

I have to go back!!

Whatever it takes... I have to go back... I have to use the sarcophagus or I'll die!

I'm going back!

"You don't have to! Fraiser says you're getting better."

She's lying!!

_Her hands are on me... that damn pen light again... I hate her... why won't she just let me GO?_

One hand is free... if I wait for just the right moment...

"Okay, Daniel..."

_Grab her! Toss her aside and escape!_

No!!

Just do it!

NO!!

Janet! Don't come near me! Please! I don't want to hurt you!

Screaming... she's screaming... I made her scream... I hurt Janet... I'm so sorry, Janet... so sorry... forgive me!

Getting dark again... why is it always so dark... monsters live in the dark... Goa'ulds are monsters... please... don't let it get dark again...

Eyes flashing in the darkness... Goa'ulds everywhere...

**Somebody help me!!!**

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"The sedative is wearing off, Colonel. Brace yourself."

"Can't you give him more?"

Fraiser shook her head sadly. "I'm afraid not, Sir. Any more right now would be dangerous. He's going to have to ride it out until his system can safely handle another dose."

Jack couldn't help but shoot her a look of shocked disgust at her calm, accepting attitude. He knew she hated to see Daniel this way just as much or more than he did, though, so he didn't argue the point.

"Dark... so dark... hot... too hot..."

Jack bent over closer to Daniel's face to try to make out what he was saying. "It's okay, Daniel. Just hang in there, buddy." He gently wiped Daniel's sweat-soaked face with a cool cloth.

"What's he saying?" Fraiser asked, almost as though she was afraid to hear the answer.

"He says he's hot. I think his fever's rising."

Fraiser didn't hesitate for a second - she immediately turned away to prepare a syringe of... whatever the hell it was she was giving these poor people. Not that it was doing them much good by the looks of things...

"Netu!" Daniel gasped, his entire body going rigid with fear.

"Not Netu, Daniel. Fever. You've got a fever, that's all. Stay with me here."

Jack knew that it was pointless trying to reason with the man, but he couldn't just stand there doing nothing. He ached with sympathy for his friend when it became obvious that he was reliving their venture into "Hell." Jack knew what flashbacks were all about, and to have them accompanied with delirium... well, it wasn't a pretty prospect.

"No, Sam... don't go with him... he wants to kill you..."

Fraiser nudged him aside and emptied the needle's contents into Daniel's IV line. "That should hopefully keep his temperature down to a manageable level. Keep up with the cold compresses, though, Colonel. You're doing good."

"I don't feel like I'm doing good," Jack said through clenched teeth. He watched as Daniel thrashed his head back and forth on his pillow and muttered incoherently. "I feel like I'm doing squat, to tell you the truth."

The doctor had just opened her mouth to respond when Daniel let out a strangled cry. "NO! This is not real..."

Jack laid his hand on Daniel's shoulder. "That's right, Daniel. It's not real. Fight through it."

"Colonel..."

"He knows, Doc. He knows what's going on. He's gonna be okay." Jack kept his eyes averted from Fraiser's as he repeated the mantra to himself over and over. "He's gonna be okay."

Fraiser didn't bother trying to set him straight. She simply took a deep breath and moved away to work on another of her patients. Jack could tell without even looking at her that she was close to tears.

Daniel was still babbling, his words all jumbled together and impossible to understand. Jack swiped his friend's face and neck with the damp cloth again in an attempt to wipe off the sweat that was pouring off him and soaking the sheets underneath him. It didn't really help - as soon as he wiped it off, more perspiration beads appeared on Daniel's skin. Jack could feel the intense heat emanating from him even through the latex gloves he was wearing.

"COME ON!"

Jack jumped at Daniel's sudden outcry. "Daniel?"

"Teal'c... no... so close... gotta run for it!" Daniel was growing more and more restless with every word he spoke, his breathing shallow and uneven.

"Doc?" Jack called, not daring to pry his eyes away from his friend for even a moment to see if she was still nearby.

Suddenly, Daniel cried out in pain. His body arched as though he was trying to throw himself forward but was held back by his restraints.

"Ah! Hurts so bad... burning hot..."

Fraiser appeared at Jack's side just as another frightened cry burst from Daniel's throat. "Jack!!"

"I'm right here, Daniel," Jack tried to reassure him, but he knew his friend couldn't hear him.

"I'd better administer the sedative now. I can't stand to..."

Jack glanced over at Fraiser as her voice trailed off, and he nodded in understanding at what she'd been about to say. He turned his attention back on Daniel as she moved away to fetch the medicine.

"I'll be dead anyway, just get out of here."

Jack's blood froze in his veins as he heard those familiar words. "Ah, Daniel..."

"Get out of here! You're just going to blow up with the other ship anyway, what difference does it make? Go!" Daniel began to go limp as he repeated the words that had been haunting Jack's nightmares ever since they'd had this conversation over five years earlier. "Just go! I'll stay and watch your back."

"You bet you will, Daniel," Jack whispered. "It's what you do best... saving all our asses when the going gets rough."

"...sarcophagus..." Daniel was saying. "Arms won't move... I'm not gonna make it... I'm dying... oh, God! I'm dying!" His mournful wail sent a chill down Jack's spine.

"Step aside, Colonel," Fraiser said.

Jack did as he was told.

Before Fraiser could administer the drug, however, Daniel started thrashing again and tugging at his restraints. "I'm going back!" he cried, his eyes open wide but unseeing.

The wild look on Daniel's face was enough to tell Jack what memory he was reliving now - sarcophagus withdrawal. "God, Daniel..." he murmured.

"She's lying!!"

"Colonel, hold him down. He's going to rip out his IV again if he keeps this up."

"I hate her... why won't she just let me GO?" Daniel yanked at his retraints so hard as punctuation to his sentence that his bonds came undone and one arm flew free.

"Whoa!" Jack gasped as he was shoved aside with such force that he was nearly knocked off his feet.

"Daniel! Calm down, it's okay... Daniel!" Fraiser's fear and concern made her voice shake as she tried in vain to calm the man down.

"Can we get some help over here?" Jack called as he grabbed for the flailing arm with no success.

"NO!!" Daniel screamed, seemingly torn between anger and panic.

Two of Brom's aides hurried over to help, pinning Daniel down as Fraiser tried to reinsert the IV line that Daniel had pulled loose.

"Janet! Don't come near me! Please! I don't want to hurt you!"

"Daniel, it's alright. I just have to..."

Jack didn't even see it coming until it had already happened. In all the effort to restrain the arm that had come free and attempting to keep Daniel's legs and body still as Dr. Fraiser did her work, no one had bothered to hold down the arm that was still restrained. With one tug of almost super-human strength, Daniel's unsecured arm swung free, and a split second later his fist impacted flesh with a sickening crack.

Fraiser screamed in pain and dropped to the floor.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox  
  
To be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

**Mind Fever - Chapter 6**

  
  
Janet didn't even know what hit her. One second she was bending over Daniel, trying to reinsert his IV, and the next fireworks exploded in her brain. Every sound around her became distorted, spots appeared in front of her eyes, and she slowly became aware of the fact that she was on the floor, crouching on her hands and knees. Her face felt like it was on fire, but she couldn't bring her thoughts into focus long enough to understand why.

"I made her scream... I hurt Janet... I'm so sorry, Janet... so sorry... forgive me!"

Daniel's panicked voice barely made it past the ringing in her ears. Forgive him? Had he done something to her?

"Doc... Doc! You okay?"

Janet blinked a few times to try to clear her vision. Once everything stopped lurching in and out of focus and the spots stopped dancing in front of her eyes, she saw that Colonel O'Neill was crouched down on the floor next to her. "C... colonel?" she squawked, raising a limp hand to her throat when her voice didn't work properly.

"How many fingers?" he asked, holding his hand in front of her face.

Janet squinted at him, willing the hand to stop moving in such a sickening way. "Three?" she said, taking a wild guess.

It was obviously the right answer, because O'Neill sighed and nodded, looking relieved.

**_"Somebody help me!!!"_**

Janet tried to scramble to her feet, but the floor seemed to sway underneath her and she sank back down again.

Colonel O'Neill gently restrained her with a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Doc," he reassured her. "Brom's guys have got it under control. They got the sedative into him. He should relax any second now. Don't try to move just yet, okay?"

"Screaming... I heard him screaming..." Her brain refused to cooperate with the rest of her body, so the words came out all slurred together. She had heard Daniel screaming, hadn't she? Why was he screaming? Why did he need help? What was going on?

"He thought he was seeing Goa'ulds," the colonel explained. He glanced up at the people standing over the bed not two feet away from them. "I think he's starting to calm down now."

Janet's brow furrowed in confusion. "Goa'ulds?" Why wasn't he making any sense?

Colonel O'Neill turned back to her and looked straight into her eyes as if to read her thoughts. He reached out a hand and gently took hold of the left side of her face, angling it in order to get a better look at the side that was hurting. "You okay?" he asked cautiously. "You took a pretty hard knock there. I think his fist just grazed your cheekbone on the way by, but it had enough force behind it to knock a Sumo wrestler flying. Looked like your head hit the floor there, too."

"Daniel... he hit me?"

She couldn't see half of the colonel's face due to the surgical mask he was wearing, but what she did see suddenly looked worried. He rose to his feet and bent down to help her up. "Come on, Doc, let's go get that looked at," he said gently.

She grasped his arm and allowed herself to be hoisted to her feet and escorted out of the room. She chanced a look over at Daniel as they walked past his bed, and the memory of the past few hours finally came flooding back. "Colonel," she said, pulling on his arm until he came to a stop, "did Daniel..."

"He was delirious, Doc. He lashed out and you took the brunt of it. Seemed to come 'round to himself for a moment afterwards, though. He seemed pretty shaken up that he'd hurt you."

Janet nodded absently, not taking her eyes away from the half-conscious man until she felt herself being guided away from him. Her face was throbbing with such pain that she didn't even bother to protest.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"So, we believe it attacks specifically the part of the brain that handles our memories, eating its way inside and causing memories a person has repressed to surface, though we're not sure how or why. This combined with the high fever causes intense hallucinations that are somewhat founded in past experiences. Each one gets worse and worse until..."

"We know all that, Dr. Holmes," Sam interrupted the woman, trying not to sound as irritable as she felt. "What we need to know is how to _stop_ it."

Dr. Holmes looked down at her hands. "That's just it, Major. I don't think we can."

"That is _not_ what I want to hear," Sam snapped. Ignoring the stunned looks she was getting from everyone else in the room, she continued, "We've only been at this for a few hours. It's way too early to just give up like that."

"I wasn't suggesting we give..."

"Then what _were_ you suggesting?" Sam challenged.

Dr. Holmes looked sufficiently chastised under Sam's glare. "I guess I was suggesting that we need more information before we can go any further in our research... ma'am."

Sam took a deep breath and stood up a little straighter. "Then I'll see what I can do about finding some," she said. "Keep working."

"Yes, ma'am," Dr. Holmes said as Sam walked from the room.

She went immediately into the room across the hall, in which Dr. Flietstra was working alongside Healer Meese in performing autopsies on those who had died from the illness. Her heart broke when she saw the small figure lying on one of the tables behind the opaque quarantine curtain and recognized it as being the little girl who had first been smitten with this horrible sickness.

"Major Carter," Flietstra greeted with a nod, though he didn't stop working on the body in front of him.

"Dr. Flietstra. I hope you don't mind me coming in here, I... feel like I'm just getting under foot in there."

"Not at all, Major," he replied. "However, if you intend to come this side of the curtain..."

"No, I'll just... stay here," Sam said, trying not to betray the fact that she was feeling rather ill at the sight of the row of dead bodies laid out on tables along the length of the room. "How many now?"

Flietstra didn't even need to ask what she was referring to. "Sixteen," he answered without hesitation. His tone and expression were full of compassion, which was something Sam had always admired about him. Not every pathologist felt such empathy towards his "patients."

'Sixteen,' Sam thought. 'Sixteen people we couldn't save.' She swallowed hard as she felt bile rising in her throat. Who would be next?

"Have you found anything?" She didn't really expect an affirmative answer - after all, if they had found something everyone in the building would have known it by now.

"Not yet, Major, but we're still searching. The answer has to be here somewhere."

Sam forced a smile. "I know you'll find it if it's there," she told him.

She only wished the nagging feeling of doubt would go away.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Just give me an ice pack and I'll be fine."

"You know the drill, Janet. Just answer the question."

Janet sighed and glared at Dr. Carmichael through her good eye. "No, I didn't lose consciousness. I don't have a concussion, Drew, I'm..." She flinched as he shone his penlight in each of her eyes. 'Now I know why Colonel O'Neill always gets so cranky when I use that thing,' she thought ruefully. "I'm fine," she finished aloud.

Carmichael glanced over at Colonel O'Neill for confirmation of her statement, and Janet did the same.

"She was pretty out of it for a second there, but I don't think she passed out, no," the colonel told him.

"Thank you, Colonel." Janet turned her attention back to her colleague. "Satisfied?"

With a heavy sigh, Carmichael took the ice pack that was handed to him by Nurse Penner and pressed it to Janet's eye. "You know I'm only worried about you, Janet," he said softly. "Colonel O'Neill said he thought you hit your head on the floor when you fell..."

"I don't remember that," she defended herself weakly.

"Well, you wouldn't if it knocked you unconscious for a second."

Janet rolled her eyes, trying not to let on how dizzy the action made her feel.

"You probably do have a slight concussion, Janet. The last thing we need right now is for you to ignore that and end up..."

"I'm _fine_."

He gazed at her doubtfully for a moment. "Any headache? Dizziness? Nausea? Blurred vision?"

"I've had a headache ever since I set foot on this planet," Janet mumbled.

"Janet..."

"Andrew, I'm fine. Really." She punctuated this statement by hopping down from the cot she'd been sitting on, and suppressed a wince as pain shot through her head. "Just let me get back to my patients..."

She was held back from walking out of the room by a hand suddenly clamped around her elbow. "You sure that's such a good idea, Doc?"

Her icy glare focused on the colonel, but to her annoyance, his firm expression didn't waver. "I'm needed in there, Colonel," she snapped. "Now please let me go."

"Doc, you've been going non-stop for hours, and you've been knocked off your feet twice in that time."

"Twice?" Carmichael cut in with an alarmed look on his face.

O'Neill looked reproachfully down at Janet. "You didn't tell him?"

Janet didn't answer. She suddenly felt much too tired to argue.

"Tell me what?" Carmichael demanded, his arms crossed over his chest.

"When Daniel first..." O'Neill made a vague gesture with one hand, seemingly at a loss of how to word his statement, "...he grabbed her ankle and she fell. Cracked her head against the wall on the way down. Right, Doc?"

Janet gave a slight nod, though what she really wanted to do was take a swing at the colonel for keeping her away from Daniel this long. How dare these two treat her like a child? She knew better than anyone else whether she was fit to work or not... didn't she?

"Where did you hit your head?" Andrew asked, already feeling around her scalp to see if he could find a lump.

Janet's yelp was all the answer he needed the moment he found it.

"Right there, obviously," he said. "A lump has formed, so I don't think there's cause to worry... still, you should have told someone about this, Janet. I really think you should step back for a little while - let the rest of us take care of things while you rest."

"I don't need to rest, Drew. What I need is to get back to work." She moved to leave, but once again, the colonel restrained her.

"I think you should listen to him, Doc. You've been on your feet too long. Just go sit down somewhere and let the rest of us take over for a while."

She wanted so badly to protest, but she knew it was pointless. They were right, after all. If she were the doctor in this situation and not the injured party, she would advise the same. Still, she couldn't handle the thought of Daniel going through all of this without her. There had to be some kind of compromise...

"Alright, I'll sit down and rest," she conceded. "Under one condition."

"What's that?" Andrew asked.

"That you allow me to sit wherever I want."

The two men exchanged glances and then looked back at her suspiciously. Janet would have found their synchronized movements comical if it weren't for the gravity of the situation.

"Alright," Carmichael said warily. "Just so long as you're _resting_."

Victory.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox  
  
To be continued...


	7. Chapter 7

**Mind Fever - Chapter 7**

  
  
Teal'c had entered the fever ward just in time to see Daniel Jackson strike Dr. Fraiser in his delirium, and had helped to calm his friend down after O'Neill had escorted Dr. Fraiser away. He had heard the man's cries for help, for protection from the Goa'ulds he believed to be surrounding him, and he had watched helplessly as Brom's assistants had sedated him and restrained him more securely than before.

Now he had taken up vigil at his friend's side, taking the cool cloths O'Neill had left behind and attempting to keep the sick man's temperature down as much as possible.

Memories of sitting by this man's side as he died slowly and painfully from radiation poisoning came unbidden to Teal'c's mind. He remembered how difficult it had been to see his friend - his _brother_ - wrapped in bandages so completely that he would not have recognized him had he not known his identity, and to hear his groans of agony as his body had succumbed to the fire that had burned him from the inside out.

This situation was no easier for him. Daniel Jackson was obviously suffering, his brow creased with pain and fear and his eyes glazed with his raging fever. He tossed his head and moaned, occasionally muttering or crying out in words that Teal'c could not understand. Teal'c wanted to do something for him... anything to ease his pain and help him to sleep free of the nightmares that plagued him even while he was awake. He wished he could do more than just sit by his friend's side and be a silent witness to his suffering, but there was nothing more to be done. The illness must run its course, unless a cure could be discovered in time.

"Sha're..."

Daniel Jackson's quiet whimper immediately earned him Teal'c's undivided attention.

"Sha're, it's me... Daniel..."

Teal'c remained silent and simply watched as Daniel Jackson's expression changed from one of anxiety, to one of pain and fear, and then to one of heartbreak and betrayal. He knew which memory this was - his first encounter with Ammonet, the Goa'uld who had taken his wife for its host.

He wiped his friend's burning forehead with the cloth as the whimpers turned to sobs. "It is alright, Daniel Jackson," he soothed.

"Teal'c..."

The Jaffa's ears perked up at the sound of his name. "Daniel Jackson?"

"Don't do it, Teal'c... please..." He tossed his head from side to side and strained against his bonds.

Teal'c could only stare at him, dumbfounded. He had known this memory would rise to the surface, but no matter how prepared he felt he had been, the guilt of what he had done settled over him like a blanket. He had fired the shot that had killed Sha're. Daniel Jackson had forgiven him for doing so, but that didn't alter the fact that it had devastated him... both of them.

"No! Sha're!"

Teal'c finally had to look away from the anguished eyes that stared up at the ceiling, seeing things that no one else could. It broke his heart to see his friend this way.

"Doc, I thought you said you'd be resting."

Teal'c's gaze was drawn to the doorway of the ward at the sound of O'Neill's voice. Dr. Fraiser was walking towards him with a determined air, an ice pack pressed against the right side of her face.

"I _will_ be resting, Colonel," she replied. "I want to stay with Daniel. Is that a problem?" She spun around to face him as she asked this question, and O'Neill gave a reluctant shrug in reply. "Thank you," she said.

She then turned to face Teal'c, who automatically rose from his chair and offered it to her. "Thank you, Teal'c," she said softly as she sank down onto the seat.

He bowed respectfully in response.

"Teal'c, make sure she actually _rests_, okay?"

"I will, O'Neill."

O'Neill nodded and, after taking a quick glance at Daniel Jackson as if to ensure he had been looked after, he walked over to the other end of the room to speak with Brom.

Teal'c then turned his attention back to Dr. Fraiser, who had taken up the cloth and was bathing Daniel Jackson's face, neck, and arms with it. "Don't even say it, Teal'c," she warned without looking up. "I can't just sit here and do nothing when he's..." Her voice broke mid-sentence, so she left the rest unspoken.

"I understand, Dr. Fraiser," Teal'c assured. "I would expect nothing less."

She looked up at him curiously at this statement, and he calmly met her gaze with his own. After a moment, she nodded and turned back to the man in the bed.

Teal'c's eyes scanned the rest of the ward, noting that the illness' ten remaining victims were resting more peacefully than he had yet seen them. It was a good sign that the illness was slowly coming to an end. They had managed to contain it early on, and no new cases had been reported since Daniel Jackson had fallen ill. Perhaps the worst was over.

He moved on to tend to the man in the next bed, leaving Daniel Jackson and Dr. Fraiser alone.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Even though her attention was focused on Daniel, Janet heard Teal'c move away and knew he had done it to allow her some time alone with Daniel. For that she was immensely grateful.

She was tired of playing the emotionally detached physician. This was _Daniel_ lying here. _Her_ Daniel. She wanted to touch him, speak comforting words to him, to simply be there for him.

As Dr. Fraiser she had to keep herself distant, to treat him the same way she would treat any other patient, to fight against the temptation of allowing her emotions to make the decisions. She had handed his care over to Dr. Carmichael months ago for this very reason, but in this case it had been necessary for her to be the one looking after him. As hard as it was, she had somehow managed to keep a clear head throughout the events of the day, and to be "the doctor" that she knew she had to be. Alone with him now, however, she could just be Janet - the woman who loved him more than any living soul in this universe.

With a wary glance over her shoulder to make sure no one was watching, she brought the ice pack down from her eye and wiped it slowly over Daniel's flushed face. She knew she should stick to the damp cloth, but it wasn't doing a thing as far as she could see.

"Daniel," she whispered, leaning in close to his ear. "Please come through this. I don't know what I'd do if you left me now."

"Janet..."

The whispered word made her start and sit up straight to get a better look at his face. "Daniel?"

"Janet," he whispered again, his anxious eyes staring straight ahead, unseeing. "Voices... so many voices... what's going on?"

This exchange seemed eerily familiar to Janet. Could it be that he was reliving the memory of the alien consciousnesses invading his mind? "It's alright, Daniel," she soothed as she again stroked his forehead with the ice pack. "It's just a dream. Everything's going to be alright."

The touch seemed to bring him up out of the depths of his mind, and he slowly turned his face towards her. To her surprise, his gaze fastened directly onto her face in a way that he hadn't done since before the disease had taken hold of him.

"Daniel? Are you with me?" she asked, unsure whether she was just imagining it or not.

A look of fear passed over his face, but he was undoubtedly looking at her and _seeing_ her. He flinched and tried to edge away from her, but his bonds held him securely in place.

"Daniel, it's okay. It's me... it's Janet." Suddenly feeling she had to get through to him at any cost, she pulled the surgical mask down from her face and let it fall to hang around her neck. "See? It's me. No one's going to hurt you. It's okay."

He seemed to relax the moment he could see her face, and he blinked slowly a few times as recognition dawned.

Janet smiled, relieved. "There you are," she said, cupping the side of his face with one hand. "I've missed you."

Daniel blinked at her again. His face crinkled up in concentration as he focused on a particular portion of her face.

It only took Janet a moment to realize he was staring at her fast-forming black eye. She felt strangely self-conscious under his scrutiny, and reached up her other hand to lightly touch the swollen skin under her right eye.

"Hurts?" Daniel asked. The word was slurred, but nonetheless coherent.

"It's fine, Daniel," she reassured him. "Just a bruise. I'll be okay."

Daniel's breathing started to quicken and his eyes darted from her face to his bound hands and back to her face. "Out... I have to get out..."

"Shhh, Daniel, it's okay. Just relax..."

"No, I have to get out!" he cried, the panic and confusion returning with a vengeance. "They're hurting you! I can't let them hurt you!"

"Daniel, no one is hurting me. Everything's okay, just calm down."

"I don't know what it is! I don't know how to turn it on! Please!" He screamed in pain and his body jerked as if he'd received an electrical shock.

Janet gasped and jumped to her feet as she realized what memory Daniel was in now. He was being tortured by the Honduran rebels who had kidnapped him just a few months earlier.

"Doc!" Colonel O'Neill was suddenly at her side, grabbing her shoulders and spinning her around to face him. "What the hell are you doing?" he demanded, his tone sounding half angry and half scared out of his mind.

Janet could only stare at him in shock. She couldn't understand why he seemed angry with her, until he began to pull the mask back up over her nose and mouth.

"What were you thinking?"

"I... Daniel was..." She looked back down at Daniel, who was writhing in pain and muttering pleas for mercy. "He was fully conscious for a moment, and I thought..."

"Don't do that again," the colonel snapped. "The last thing we need right now is for you to get this damn thing, too." His eyes softened as he looked down at his friend laying on the bed in obvious agony. "What's he seeing this time?" he asked, his tone one hundred percent calmer than it was just a moment before.

"Honduras."

That one word was enough. O'Neill flinched as though he had been punched in the gut. He shook his head and rubbed his forehead wearily. "When's it gonna end?" he said with a sigh.

Janet felt a sudden chill, and wrapped her arms tightly around her body. She didn't bother to answer the question, because she couldn't truthfully say anything he would want to hear.

She knew that the worst was yet to come.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox  
  
To be continued...


	8. Chapter 8

**Mind Fever - Chapter 8**

  
  
Jack could hardly stand it. He couldn't believe he was just standing there watching his closest friend reliving his most painful, terrifying memories as his temperature slowly climbed much higher than the human body could handle. His mind boggled wondering how a tiny little virus could have such an effect on such a strong, healthy man. And just what was it about this illness that made you relive your past, anyway? Trust Daniel to come across a disease like that. If these little buggers thrived on painful memories, Daniel must look like a smorgasbord.

He finally dragged his gaze away from Daniel as he began mumbling words that Jack couldn't understand. He was obviously still lost in memories to do with torture and pain, and just the thought of it was making Jack feel sick with empathy for his friend.

Jack turned around at the sound of a quiet whimper coming from behind him. Fraiser was standing there hugging herself and shifting her weight back and forth from one foot to the other as she watched Daniel's every move. The agony on her face spoke volumes of how tough this whole situation was on her. He bit back the urge to snap into commanding officer mode, and instead laid a reassuring hand on her arm. "Why don't you sit back down, Doc," he suggested in a do-as-I-say-or-else kind of way.

She barely even seemed to register his presence as she allowed herself to be led back to the chair by Daniel's bed. She sank down into it without having once taken her eyes off of the sick man. "It's only going to get worse," she murmured, almost as though she were thinking aloud.

Jack looked around at the other patients in the ward, most of whom were covered with painful sores and still burning with fever. He had seen one or two of them having seizures since he had come in to help with Daniel, and all of them twitched and convulsed occasionally as their muscles cramped and spasmed.

Funny how none of them were making any noise anymore, he mused.

He turned back to Fraiser as he folded his arms across his chest. "We don't know that," he tried to encourage her. "Any minute now, Carter's gonna come running in here saying they've found the cure, and he'll be good as new in no time."

Fraiser just shook her head and took Daniel's hand in her own. "It's already gone too far," she said.

Jack didn't appreciate the despair in the doctor's tone. "Hey," he said with what little grump he could manage, "since when do you give up on him so soon, huh? We've been in situations worse than this before and come out kicking. What's so different this time?"

Fraiser sighed, leaned her elbow on the bed, and rested her forehead in her hand. "I don't know, Colonel. I honestly don't know anymore."

Jack felt a wave of sympathy for her as he noted a slight tremor in her slumped shoulders. "Head still hurt?" he asked gently.

"Like the dickens," she answered without looking up.

"Want me to get you something? Aspirin?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you." She lifted her head and looked at Daniel, stroking his arm in a steady, smooth motion. "You can go help out with the others, Sir. I can look after Daniel."

She couldn't see him, but he shot her a disapproving look anyway. "Resting, Doc, remember?"

Fraiser kept on stroking up and down Daniel's arm. "This is rest for me, Colonel. I'll be fine."

As much as he hated to give in, he knew this was the best he could hope for in terms of a compromise, and he had neither the time nor the energy to spare on forcing the issue. "Fine," he conceded. "Call me or Brom over if you need anything."

He was about to walk away when a soft cry coming from Daniel stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Please stop! I don't want to!"

He turned around to see Daniel trying to wrench his arm away from Fraiser's hands.

"It's okay, Daniel," she tried to soothe him. "It's Janet. You're safe."

"No... don't touch me... please... I can't..." He grew more and more distressed, straining so hard against his restraints that his face went from bright red to purple within seconds and the veins in his face, neck, and arms were plainly visible. "Can't move... _what have you done to me?_"

Fraiser finally moved her hands away from him, but it didn't stop his writhing and thrashing.

"No... _somebody help me!_"

"Colonel?" Fraiser looked up at him piteously, and he knew she was asking if he could tell what Daniel was seeing this time. Unfortunately, he didn't have the answer.

"Can't... no... stop..." Daniel was repeating over and over, along with other words that were too slurred to understand. After a moment or two, however, one word came out loud and clear - "Hathor."

"God..." Jack muttered.

"Did he just say..."

"Hathor," Jack answered before Fraiser could fully voice her question. He bit back the revulsion and hate that always bubbled up inside him whenever he heard that name.

Neither of them needed to say any more than that. They both knew how traumatic Daniel's experience with Hathor had been for him. She had drugged and raped him to get the DNA she needed to make a batch of baby Goa'ulds, and the vulnerability and violation he had felt had haunted Daniel for quite some time. It had taken him a few weeks just to stop shying away from human contact.

Jack knew Daniel still had nightmares about it now and then to this day, which was technically what he was having now - only this was feeling more real to him than even the most vivid nightmare ever could.

Daniel let out a wail, loud and long, his expression one of panic and disgust. "Get your hands off me! Get away! Help me! Somebody help!" His body suddenly went limp and he stopped crying out as he lapsed into gut-wrenching sobs.

Jack clenched his fists and reminded himself how satisfying it had been to hurl that bitch over the rail and into the cryogenics vat to her death. It was only then that he realized his heart was pounding as though he'd run a marathon, and he was trembling like a leaf. He gave himself a mental shake and ordered his body to calm down as he glanced over at Fraiser.

She was sitting there staring at the sobbing man with her gloved hands pressed tightly to her mouth. From the look she had in her good eye, he could tell it was an attempt at stifling her own sobs.

"You okay?" Jack asked, though he could tell that she definitely was not okay.

Her head shook vaguely from side to side, but she didn't speak. She leaned forward again and laid her hand on Daniel's forehead.

Hoping to make himself useful, Jack took up a damp cloth and dipped it in the bowl of cool water on the stand by Daniel's bed. He wrung it out and then passed it over to Fraiser.

She looked up at him, puzzled for a moment. When she realized he was basically giving her permission to care for Daniel's needs, she accepted the cloth with a grateful nod and began wiping his face, neck, and arms with it again.

"Not crazy..." Daniel mumbled, his voice so weak it was barely audible.

Fraiser's hand froze mid-motion.

"I felt it... it was there... why won't you believe me?" He flinched and whimpered as Fraiser swiped the cloth across his fiery cheeks.

Jack knew he shouldn't just be standing around watching, but he couldn't seem to tear himself away from his friend's bedside.

"Footsteps... they're coming..."

Jack winced. The memory of his visit to Daniel's white padded cell flashed through his mind so vividly that for a moment he wasn't sure whether his friend's hysteric laughter was part of it or not. One look down at the man in the bed, however, showed him that the sound was very real.

Fraiser choked on a sob and jumped to her feet. Jack went to grasp her arm, but she rushed across the room so fast he didn't have a chance. Within moments she returned, bringing bandages and some kind of ointment jar with her.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked.

Fraiser didn't answer. With shaking hands, she shifted Daniel's restraints just a little, enough that Jack understood what was bothering her.

Daniel had tried so hard to break free that the skin on his wrists had worn away, leaving nothing but a bloody mess where the restraints had been.

Jack's jaw dropped in horror, and a wave of guilt washed over him. He couldn't believe they hadn't noticed that it was happening before now.

He watched in silence as Fraiser quickly dabbed ointment on the wounds and wrapped bandages around them. To his relief, Daniel seemed to be calming down again.

"He gonna be okay?" he asked when she was finished.

"In that respect, yes," she replied in a shaky voice.

Jack laid his hand on her shoulder. "Are _you_ gonna be okay?"

She shrugged and avoided making eye contact with him. "I hope so," was all she said before she sat down and took hold of Daniel's hand again.

Jack sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair. "I'll be over there if you need me," he told her.

She didn't even look up at him, her attention focused completely on Daniel as he tossed his head from side to side and moaned.

Finally reaching a point of not being able to handle seeing his friend suffer so badly anymore, Jack hurried to the other side of the room to help Brom. The healer was trying to administer medication to a young woman who was in the throes of a violent seizure.

"Need some help, Brom?" It was a dumb question, and he knew it.

"Please," Brom replied. "Help me roll her onto her side."

Jack did as he was asked, while Brom administered the injection. Within two seconds, the woman's spasms had eased. Jack laid her on her back again as Brom checked her over to make sure she hadn't injured herself.

A moment later, a loud clatter and a frightened scream directed everyone's attention over to the far side of the room. For a split second, Jack hoped against hope that the sound wasn't coming from Daniel.

"Dr. Carmichael!"

Everything started happening too fast for him to take in. Carmichael came running in, nurses and aides swarmed around Daniel's bed, the cries that pierced the air grew louder and more frantic. It only took Jack a matter of seconds to make it back over there, but he felt like he was moving in slow motion.

The first thing he realized as he approached the small crowd of medical personnel was that it wasn't Daniel they were crowded around - it was Fraiser.

"What the hell is going on here?" he demanded of Carmichael, who seemed to be trying to restrain Fraiser by pinning her arms behind her back. The woman was struggling to get away from him, tears running down her face.

"He was in pain!" she cried. "Those damn restraints were hurting him!"

"Colonel, could you please escort Dr. Fraiser out of here?" Carmichael said, obviously trying not to sound cruel and only half succeeding.

Jack took the sobbing woman by her shoulders and pulled her away from Daniel's bedside. "Come on, Janet, let them work."

As he'd hoped, his use of her first name grabbed her attention. She looked up at him with pain-filled eyes. "I was just trying to make him more comfortable," she said through her tears.

"I know." He led her out of the ward and eased his grip on her arms as soon as the door closed behind them. "What happened?"

"He... he was reliving K... Kelowna," she stammered. "He cried out that his arms were on f... fire. Those restraints were hurting him, and I thought if I freed his hands..."

Jack nodded, understanding what had happened. "And he started to go wild again," he finished for her.

"He knocked the tray, that's all. They were overreacting. I have to get back in there..."

She tried to go, but Jack held her back. "They can take care of him, Doc. I think you need to step back for a bit."

If looks could kill, Jack would have dropped dead in an instant from the glare he received at this comment. "Colonel, he's in pain. He's reliving radiation poisoning, for God's sake! He needs me to be there for him."

Jack tightened his grip on the woman's arm as she tried to break free. "No offense, but I don't think he can tell one way or another who's with him..."

"Well _I_ can! Now let me _go!_"

She struggled so violently to get away that Jack had to practically carry her down the hall and shove her into the now empty observation room. "Don't think so, Doc," he grunted as he unceremoniously deposited her in a chair. He kept hold of her shoulders to prevent her from standing up again. "You're staying here until you calm down."

He was expecting her to fight, to yell and curse and threaten and eventually bribe... he wasn't expecting her to break down on him. Much to his surprise, that's exactly what she did.

In an instant, she seemed to drain of all energy and all hope, and she sagged forward in the chair, buried her face in her hands, and wept.

Jack suddenly felt very self-conscious and unsure of what to do for her. He had never seen her like this before, not even when Daniel had died... well, ascended... nor when Cassandra had been so ill a few years before. He had seen her come close to her breaking point on several occasions, but he had always felt that she was unbreakable - the one constant in this unpredictable universe - the epitome of 'grace under fire.'

To see her broken like this... it was more than he could handle.

He gingerly knelt down beside her, and without a word he wrapped his arms around her trembling body and rested her head against his shoulder. Her arms encircled him like a vise, her fists clutching his shirt as she clung to him as if for dear life.

All passage of time was lost to them both as they cried out their grief and exhaustion in each other's arms.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	9. Chapter 9

**Mind Fever - Chapter 9**

  
  
Sam was still observing Dr. Flietstra and Meese's work when she heard a couple of medics out in the hall mention something about an emergency concerning Daniel. Fearing the worst, she rushed from the morgue back to the lab, hunted out her latex gloves and surgical mask, put them on, and jogged down the hall to the fever ward.

By the time she arrived, the fuss was already beginning to die down. Dr. Carmichael, however, looked rather distressed as he tended to Daniel.

She looked around at the swarm of medical personnel in the room, but they all seemed too busy to have time to answer her questions. The only one in the room who wasn't rushing around performing various duties was Teal'c. The Jaffa was standing off to the side, but his watchful eyes were trained upon Daniel in unwavering concentration.

"Teal'c?" Sam said as she approached him. "What's going on?"

"Doctor Fraiser attempted to free Daniel Jackson from his restraints," he replied almost breathlessly.

Sam gaped at the man lying in the bed before her. She could hardly believe it was Daniel she was seeing. His eyes were open wide, and his face was frozen in an expression of terror. His hair was so wet with sweat that it was plastered against his head like a helmet. The restraints around his wrists and ankles looked more like some form of torture to her than a safety measure, and it made her shudder with revulsion.

"Where is Janet now?" Sam asked.

"Colonel O'Neill took her out of the ward," Dr. Carmichael informed her as he finished up with Daniel and came over to the two of them. "I don't know where they went after that. You didn't see them out in the hallway?"

"No," Sam replied. "Wait a minute... why did the colonel take her out of here?" She must have missed something...

Carmichael looked uncomfortable for a moment before he answered. "I asked him to."

"Excuse me?"

"She was doing more harm than good, Major," he said, his tone laced with regretful sadness. "She was letting her emotions make the decisions, and in situations like this, that's a dangerous thing to do. No one else has been allowed to see their family members this way, and I think that's a good thing. It's just been too much for her."

Sam was torn between wanting to yell at Carmichael to shut up and let Janet stay with Daniel throughout his ordeal, and understanding the point he was trying to make. She knew there was a reason why doctors were generally not allowed to perform medical procedures on their loved ones, she just hadn't thought that in a million years that reason would apply to Janet.

"Is he okay?" she asked, gesturing towards Daniel.

Dr. Carmichael looked grave and seemed to weigh his words before he spoke. "His fever is rising quite rapidly, and nothing we've given him seems to be stopping it. It won't be long now before the spasms and seizures start, and the sores will follow quickly after that. The next hour or two will tell the tale. If he makes it through..." He shrugged rather than finish his sentence.

Sam sucked in a deep breath and took a moment to steady herself before she trusted her voice enough to speak. "Thank you. Let me know if he... if there's any change."

Carmichael nodded, and turned back to tend to his patients.

"I'm going to see if I can find Colonel O'Neill and Janet," Sam told Teal'c. "You'll stay with him?"

He inclined his head in response. "Indeed."

Sam gave Teal'c's arm a grateful squeeze. She felt better knowing he would be there to watch out for Daniel's well being. He was as good or better than any bodyguard could ever be.

Without wasting another moment, she left the ward and started searching all the possible places that Janet could have gone. When she came to the observation room, a muffled noise from inside made her stop and press her ear to the door. Someone was crying. Not just any crying, either - whoever it was sounded close to hysteria.

The sound chilled her to the bone. Could that really be Janet in there? She could hardly believe that her normally unshakeable friend could ever sound so... broken.

She tapped lightly on the door and paused to wait for an answer. When none came, she opened it a crack and peeked inside.

Nothing could have prepared her for the sight that met her eyes. Janet was sitting there sobbing her heart out into Colonel O'Neill's shoulder, her arms wrapped so tightly around him that it looked almost painful for him.

More surprisingly still, Colonel O'Neill was crying, too.

After staring at them for a moment in stunned silence, she decided it would be best for her to leave them alone. She was about to exit the room when the colonel either heard or sensed her presence.

"Carter?" he said as he pulled away from Janet and got to his feet. His mask was hanging from its strings around his neck, and his face was wet with tears. He passed his sleeve across his eyes in a self-conscious gesture, as though he were embarrassed at having been found that way.

"Sorry to interrupt, Sir," Sam said quietly, her eyes trained on Janet who was also trying to get rid of the evidence of her emotional meltdown. "I just went in to check on Daniel, and Dr. Carmichael said the two of you had left. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright."

"Everything's fine, Carter. Thanks," O'Neill assured her with a pat on her arm. "Fraiser's just... exhausted."

Janet didn't protest against this statement, which Sam took to be a very bad sign. "How is Daniel?" she asked in a weak and shaky voice.

"He's calmed down for now, but Dr. Carmichael said his fever is rising. He said the next two hours should tell."

Janet nodded and took a deep breath. "Am I allowed to return to the ward now... Sir?" she asked with an almost insubordinate air.

Colonel O'Neill ignored the attitude. "I don't think that would be such a good idea, Doc. I think you know that."

Although his answer obviously wasn't what the woman had wanted to hear, his gentle tone made it seem pointless to argue the point. Janet simply nodded again and looked down at her hands.

"Major... a word?"

"Yes, Sir."

Sam followed the colonel back out into the hall. He closed the door of the observation room behind them, and when he spoke his voice was low and quiet so as not to be overheard. "She's not doing so great," he confided. "This whole thing has been too damn stressful for her, plus getting a whack to the face hasn't done her any good. Carmichael says she probably has a concussion."

"Whack to the face?" Sam repeated in surprise. "What happened?"

Colonel O'Neill winced. "Daniel got a bit agitated, that's all. She needs to rest, but at the same time I think she needs to feel like she's doing _something_, you know? Any ideas?"

Sam chewed on her lip for a moment as she thought. "I've been observing the autopsies Dr. Flietstra and Meese are performing on the people who didn't make it. They feel they're getting pretty close to figuring this thing out, so maybe she could sit in on that."

O'Neill shook his head doubtfully. "I don't consider performing autopsies 'resting.'"

"No, Sir, she wouldn't be performing the autopsies, just sitting there, watching. Dr. Flietstra and I have been discussing various possibilities regarding the..."

"Sitting, watching, and chatting... all good," he interrupted her. "Can you take it from here?"

"Yes, Sir. Are... you okay, Sir?" she asked, concerned by his sudden gruffness.

"Just fine and dandy, Major," was his sarcastic reply. "My best friend is going through hell in there and may not last the night, while his soon-to-be wife is concussed, exhausted, and on the verge of a complete emotional breakdown. So yeah, I'm just fine. Thanks for asking."

He began to march off down the hall, but Sam called after him. "Sir?"

Without a word, he swung around to face her again. The look he shot her made it clear that she should think carefully before saying whatever it was she was going to say.

"It... it's not hopeless, Sir."

His gaze softened a little as her words sank in. He gave her a nod and the hint of a smile, and then continued on his way back to the fever ward.

Sam hesitated for a moment before she went back into the observation room. She had no idea what to say to her friend to ease her pain. She was afraid she would just end up doing the wrong thing and causing the poor woman to break completely.

Still, she wasn't going to let that stop her from trying. With a determined twist of the handle, she opened the door and entered the room.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Janet didn't move a muscle the entire time Colonel O'Neill and Sam were gone from the room. She knew they'd gone out into the hall to talk about her, but she didn't care. All she could think about was Daniel, and what he must be going through.

_"I'm burning! Janet! Oh God, it hurts!"_

His whispered cries had cut her to the core. She knew it was stupid of her to release his arms, but she couldn't just sit there while he was writhing in agony like that.

_"Janet! Please... I don't want to die like this!"_

She jumped as she heard the door open behind her, and turned her head to see Sam enter the room. She was practically on tiptoe she was treading so carefully.

"Hey, Janet. How are you doing?"

"It's okay, Sam. You don't have to tiptoe around me. I'm not going to fall to pieces or anything."

One look at the guilt-ridden expression in her friend's eyes told her that's exactly what Sam was expecting to happen.

Janet sighed. "What did the two of you decide?" she asked wearily.

Sam crossed the small room and sat down in the chair next to Janet's. "Colonel O'Neill says you need to rest, but that you also need to feel like you're doing something to help. Do you agree with that?"

Janet nodded, waiting to hear the rules and conditions she knew were coming.

"Good. Dr. Flietstra and Healer Meese need some help in the morgue - just someone to bounce ideas off while they're examining the bodies. Feel up to that?"

Janet eyed her friend warily for a moment, wondering just what kind of help that could possibly be in this situation. Still, she did feel she had to do _something_, and if this was the best offer she was going to get, she'd take it. "Of course," she replied. She stood up, straightened her rumpled clothes, ran a hand through her hair, and dabbed at her cheeks with her sleeve to dry off the last remaining tears. She suppressed a wince as she touched the sensitive skin under her right eye and kicked herself for forgetting about her brand new shiner.

"Okay," Sam said, standing up and walking over to the door. "Let's go."  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	10. Chapter 10

**Mind Fever - Chapter 10**

  
  
"Danny, honey, just stay over there out of the way, okay?"

_No... God, no... please, not this..._

"Careful with that cover stone."

_No... not again..._

"Yes, Dr. Jackson."

_Please, God, make it stop..._

"Jake, it's swinging a bit."

_Get out, Mom! Please get out! It'll fall! It'll kill you!_

"It's swinging."

"It's okay, it's fine, we'll be fine..."

_No, Dad, you won't be fine! Get out of there!!_

Screaming... thud... crash...

Mommy! Daddy! No!!

"This is Danny Jackson. Danny, this is your new family. This is Kyle, his wife Patty, and their son Bobby."

"Pleased to meet you, Danny. I'm sure you'll fit right in here and have lots of fun. Won't he, Bobby?"

_Please, don't touch me, Kyle... please leave me alone..._

"You think you're better than us, Danny boy? Well, you ain't. Your parents may have had their fancy PhD's and whathaveyou's, but they're dead and gone now. And you know what orphan boys with 'holier than thou' attitudes get? They get a whuppin', that's what."

_No! Somebody help me, please! He's drunk... he'll kill me... please stop!! Gotta get away... God, please make him stop hitting me!! Whatever I did, I won't ever do it again, I swear!_

"Hey, Danny, wanna know what it feels like to fly?"

_Fly? No, I don't want to fly..._

"Come on, Danny, it'll be fun. Just climb up on the roof of the shed, grab onto the washing line, and jump. I do it all the time. You sail right across from one pole to the other. It's fun! Don't worry, I won't let you fall."

Are you sure I won't get hurt?

"Geez, Danny, you're such a chicken."

I'm not a chicken! I'll show you...

_Help me! Oh God, it hurts! Bobby! Where did you go? Somebody help me! I can't move!_

"Looks like you'll have a nasty scar above your eye there, Danny. You're lucky you didn't do more than fracture your arm. What were you thinking, jumping off a roof, huh? God, I don't know what I'm going to do with you boys."

Please don't be angry, Patty. Bobby said if I held onto the washing line I'd swing right across and it'd feel like flying. I didn't know it would break...

"So you tattled on me, huh? I'll teach you for tattling..."

_No, Bobby! Please don't hit my bad arm! Please, I won't ever tattle on you again!_

"How many times do I have to tell you boys not to mess around with that washing line? I think you both need to be taught a lesson this time."

_I'm sorry, Kyle! It won't happen again! Please, not the belt..._

Eyes flash... Goa'uld? Kyle's a Goa'uld? That's not right... he can't be... what's going on?

"Kneel before your god!"

_This can't be happening... where am I? What's going on? Why can't I move?!_

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

As soon as Major Carter went off in search of O'Neill and Dr. Fraiser, Teal'c moved back over to Daniel Jackson's bedside. He was alarmed at the burning heat coming from the man's skin, knowing what damage such a high fever would be causing to his body.

"Please, God, make it stop..."

Teal'c took a fresh cloth and dipped it in the bowl of cool water by the bed. "It is alright, Daniel Jackson," he soothed as he wiped the ever-present sweat from his friend's brow. "This will soon pass, and you will be well again."

"Get out, Mom! Please get out! It'll fall! It'll kill you!"

Teal'c had long ago been told about the deaths of Daniel Jackson's parents, and how their young son had witnessed the entire thing. There was no doubt that this event was what the sick man was seeing now.

"Mommy! Daddy! No!!"

Daniel Jackson's cries tore Teal'c's heart to shreds. He was amazed that such a young child could have experienced such trauma all alone, and still become the brilliant, courageous man that lay before him.

"How's he doing, Teal'c?" Dr. Carmichael asked as he came to stand beside him.

"He remains a prisoner to his own past," Teal'c replied without looking up.

Dr. Carmichael shifted his weight from one foot to another and folded his arms across his chest. "That's a very succinct way of putting it," he said. "And he will be until there's simply nothing left to haunt him."

Teal'c gave the doctor a sharp look. "You believe he will lose his memory completely?"

A look passed over Dr. Carmichael's face as though he had ingested something distasteful. "If what Brom has told me is correct... yes. I'm sorry, Teal'c."

"Daniel Jackson has lost his memory once before. It returned to him when he was once again surrounded by people and places familiar to him." He could hear the growl that had entered his voice, but he was feeling too angry about his friend's uncertain fate to attempt to soften his tone.

Dr. Carmichael was unfazed, however. "I realize that," he said gently. "But those were completely different circumstances. This virus isn't suppressing his memories, it's actually eating away at his brain tissue. I just don't think there will be anything we can do to..."

"Please, don't touch me, Kyle... please leave me alone..."

Both men turned their attention to Daniel Jackson at his childlike whimper. He was quite distressed and appeared to be in great pain as he tried to shrink back into his pillows. Teal'c could see that were it not for his restraints, he would have curled up into a fetal position.

"There is no one here to harm you, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c laid his hand on his friend's arm, but it made him flinch and try even harder to shy away.

"No! Somebody help me, please! He's drunk... he'll kill me... please stop!!"

Teal'c looked helplessly up at Dr. Carmichael, who shrugged and winced in empathy as Daniel Jackson squirmed and cried out in pain.

"Gotta get away... God, please make him stop hitting me!! Whatever I did, I won't ever do it again, I swear!"

"Oh my God."

The quiet voice broke through the sound of Daniel Jackson's sobs, and Teal'c glanced over his shoulder to see O'Neill entering the ward. His eyes were wide as he stared at his friend, understanding immediately what he was hallucinating about this time.

"The bastard beat him."

"O'Neill?" Teal'c asked, not understanding the colonel's reaction.

"His first foster father, Kyle Stenson," O'Neill replied, his words clipped with anger. "The son of a bitch beat him. No wonder Daniel's never talked about it."

"No, I don't want to fly..." His voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper.

"What now?" O'Neill muttered as he came closer to the bed. He sat down on the edge and took Daniel Jackson's hand in his own. The other man didn't even acknowledge the contact.

"I'm not a chicken! I'll show you..." he murmured. A moment later, his sudden cry made all three men jump in surprise. "Help me! Oh God, it hurts! Bobby! Where did you go? Somebody help me! I can't move!"

O'Neill shot Dr. Carmichael a withering glare. "I can't stand this much longer. Isn't there _anything_ you can do?"

"Believe me, Colonel, we've tried."

"Well, try harder!"

Dr. Carmichael was not to be intimidated even by Colonel O'Neill's most irate tone. "We're doing the best we can, Sir," he said, his voice calm and steady.

"No, Bobby! Please don't hit my bad arm! Please, I won't ever tattle on you again!"

O'Neill seemed to lose all will to fight over the issue as he heard Daniel Jackson's cries of pain. He merely turned back to his friend, giving his hand a comforting pat.

"I'm sorry, Kyle! It won't happen again! Please, not the belt..." Daniel Jackson's voice was becoming so weak it could barely be heard, and his body suddenly went limp with defeat.

"I swear, if that bastard wasn't already dead..." O'Neill growled, letting the threat hang in the air for the imagination to complete.

Suddenly, the sick man's breathing quickened and he stared at a spot just over Teal'c's shoulder, squinting as if to see it more clearly. "Goa'uld?" he whispered. "Kyle's a Goa'uld? That's not right... he can't be... what's going on?"

Teal'c, O'Neill, and Dr. Carmichael shared questioning looks as they all leaned in closer to the man in the bed.

"This can't be happening..."

"Daniel?" O'Neill waved his hand before Daniel Jackson's line of sight. To their surprise and hopeful joy, his eyes followed the hand and moved with it to rest on O'Neill's face.

"Where am I?" he asked fearfully. "What's going on?" He tugged at his restraints, keeping his eyes locked on O'Neill. "Why can't I move?!"

O'Neill glanced up at Dr. Carmichael, but the physician looked just as amazed as he was. "Daniel, you're in the hospital. You're sick, and we had to tie you down so you wouldn't hurt yourself. Everything's gonna be okay." He smiled down at his friend and gave his arm an encouraging rub.

"Wh... where's Kyle? Is he here?" The fear in his eyes was painful to see.

"Kyle's gone, Danny," O'Neill consoled him. "He's gone and he's never coming back. I'm Jack... remember me?"

Daniel looked confused for a moment and shook his head. Then he glanced nervously over at Teal'c. "Who... who's he?" he whispered, trying to edge away from him.

"I am Teal'c. I mean you no harm, Daniel Jackson. I am your friend."

Daniel Jackson seemed to relax at his soft tone, and he turned back to O'Neill with wide eyes full of tears. "I want to go home now," he pleaded.

O'Neill leaned forward and rested a gloved hand on the side of his friend's face. "Soon, Danny. We're going home soon. You just get some sleep now, okay?"

With one more tentative glance over at Teal'c, he gave a tiny nod and closed his eyes. Within moments, he was fast asleep for the first time since he had become ill.

O'Neill moved his hand to lay it across Daniel Jackson's forehead. "Still hot as hell," he said. "Teal'c, hand me that damp cloth, would you?"

Teal'c did as he was bidden. "He is sleeping soundly," he observed. "It is a good sign."

"I'm afraid not, Teal'c," Dr. Carmichael said gravely. "It's just the calm before the storm."  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	11. Chapter 11

**Mind Fever - Chapter 11**

  
  
"How can we not know what causes this damn thing?" Janet grated out through gritted teeth. "How is it possible that they go for years without seeing so much as a trace of it, then it suddenly sweeps through the population like wild fire?"

"Maybe it lies dormant and awakens every few years?" Sam suggested.

"We have considered that," Meese said as he emerged from behind the quarantine curtain. "However, there is no pattern to be found in the amount of time that elapses between each outbreak." He sighed and rubbed a weary hand across his forehead. "We have been researching for decades, but so far have found nothing of use in preventing or curing this disease. I, among others, am more inclined to believe it is a curse brought down upon us by the gods themselves, from which there can be no salvation."

"Don't give up on it just yet, Meese," Janet encouraged him, though she was running a little low in the hope department herself. "Now that we're helping you in your research, chances are better that we'll come up with something. Besides, the Goa'uld are not gods..."

"So your people have told us," Meese said. "You have yet to offer us any proof of this, I might point out."

Janet sighed and massaged her aching temples. "I'm sorry, Meese, but I really don't have the time right now to prove anything to you. You'll just have to take my word for it. They're evil alien parasites who take over the bodies of humans in order to inflict pain and suffering on..." Her voice trailed off as a light bulb went on in her brain.

"Janet? Are you okay?"

She barely registered Sam's concerned voice as her thoughts started turning a million miles an hour. "Meese, where did your people get the idea that this disease was a curse from the gods? Was it just something you came up with randomly because there was no other explanation to be found, or is there a particular reason?"

Meese looked confused for a moment, but he soon answered, "I am not sure. It is something our ancestors believed when the mind fever first came upon us, but our modern scientists have dissuaded us against these beliefs and convinced most that they are just myths and superstition."

Janet glanced over at Sam excitedly, hoping the other woman's thoughts were going in the same direction as hers. She was met with an identical expression that told her Sam had indeed come to the same conclusion.

"Even if the Goa'uld did create this illness somehow, that still doesn't tell us what triggers each epidemic or how to stop it," Sam reminded her.

"I know that, but they would have needed to create some kind of catalyst to bring it to the population. There's no way they could have engineered something like this to occur naturally, or hide it in their genetic structure without us being able to discover it. There must be something somewhere that serves to set this whole thing off."

"But what?"

Janet chewed on her lip and tapped her heel on the floor as she wracked her brain for an answer. As hard as it was, she had to think like a Goa'uld if she was going to solve this puzzle. What would a Goa'uld do if they wanted to start an epidemic...

Her thoughts soon turned to Cassandra, and the way Nirrti had been conducting experiments on the people of her village. She had planted a retrovirus in their DNA that would bring them one step closer to being hok'taur, and would then make them feel compelled to enter the forest and, consequently, her laboratory.

Wait... the forest...

"Meese, the little girl who first contracted the disease... where had she been in the hours before she fell ill?"

The healer looked confused for a moment as he replied, "As far as I know, she was only playing with the other children on the recreation grounds, until her parents came to take her home. Then, of course, when SG-1 arrived, she was with everyone else in the town center."

Janet hastily rose to her feet. "Show me."

"Wait," Sam commanded, jumping to her feet and blocking the doorway before Janet could go through. "I can't let you go, Janet. You know what the colonel said."

Janet resisted the urge to manually haul her friend out of her way and decided to merely voice her protest instead. "Sam, this is important. Life-or-death important. I have to find whatever made that little girl sick, or all of this will have been for nothing."

"I know how important it is, Janet, but not so much that you need to risk hurting yourself even more by..."

_"What difference does it make?"_

The entire room went deathly silent at Janet's frustrated outcry. She fought back the tears she felt pricking her eyelids and tried to bring herself back under control before she spoke again. "If Daniel dies, Sam... I don't give a damn what happens to me. And he _will_ die if we don't find a way to treat this... 'mind fever' within the next hour, or possibly even less."

"What do you mean?"

"He was in contact with the infected for much longer than anyone else, Sam. There are more organisms in his system than even in those who have already died. He won't last much longer unless we do something _now_."

All colour drained from Sam's face at these words. She looked beseechingly over at Meese. "Is that true?"

Meese looked down at his hands and didn't answer. That in itself was confirmation enough.

"If he dies, I would rather die myself than sit around here doing nothing," Janet said, her voice so low it was almost a whisper.

"I still can't let you go, Janet," Sam said, her voice breaking. "I'm sorry. Meese and I will go, but you're going to have to stay here."

As much as Janet appreciated the apologetic look in her friend's eyes, her anger and helplessness were too strong for her to see past them. "Fine," she huffed angrily. "Take Dr. Holmes with you. She'll know what you're looking for. I'll... stay here and do nothing," she added bitterly.

She turned away from the two of them and sat back down on her chair to resume watching Dr. Flietstra as he worked.

"Janet..."

"Just don't forget to get the go ahead from Colonel O'Neill first. The last thing you want to do is go against anything _he_ says."

She heard Sam give a sigh of frustration, but Janet didn't turn around or acknowledge her further. She completely ignored her as she and Meese said goodbye and left the room.

"Have you really lost hope for his survival?" a soft voice broke the silence a moment later.

Janet blinked, wondering if she had imagined it. Dr. Flietstra was on the other side of the quarantine curtain, deeply engrossed in the autopsy he was performing, and he hadn't so much as paused or looked up throughout the previous exchange. "Excuse me?" she asked.

Dr. Flietstra did look over at her then. "You heard me," he said. "I'm surprised that you've given up hope already, Janet. You're always the one telling the rest of us never to give up until we've found the solutions we're looking for."

Janet sighed and looked down at her hands. "This time it really does seem hopeless," she said.

Flietstra dropped the instrument he was using into the surgical tray with a clatter. "That's bull, and you know it. If the Goa'uld can create something like this, it's also possible to create an antidote. That's the way these things work."

"Not always."

"Why are you so set on the idea that we're going to fail?" he demanded. "Have you really lost confidence in our abilities so quickly? Do you think that just because you can't be active in finding this cure, the rest of us can't handle it?"

"No!"

"Then why?"

"Because my..." She stopped and took a deep breath. "Because Daniel is dying in there, and I can't do a damn thing to stop it," she finished.

Dr. Flietstra's tone became soft and sympathetic again in an instant. "And I ask you again, have you really given up hope that he will survive? Janet, after everything he's been through these last few years, surely you of all people know it's never hopeless."

Janet stifled another sob as it tried to break free. She was getting mighty tired of crying, and that just made her want to cry even more. She leaned forward in her chair and buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry, Brian," she said, not knowing whether he could hear her through her hands and not really caring one way or another. "I'm so tired, my head is throbbing... I just wish I could wake up and find it was all a bad dream."

"Well, maybe you should take Dr. Carmichael's advice and actually _rest_ for a little while."

She looked up at him indignantly at this suggestion. Since when did he gain the right to boss her around? And how did he know what Andrew had told her, anyway?

"Janet..." His warning tone made it clear that he wasn't messing around. "You came up with an idea that Major Carter and Meese can work with. That was good. Now that your work here is done, you really should go somewhere quiet and try to relax. I'll send someone to check on you every now and then." He paused for a moment, but when Janet didn't move, he added, "Go!"

Janet went.

Once she was out in the hallway, she paused, not having a clue where she was supposed to go. Somewhere quiet... one of the empty wards? She knew that none of them had any cots left in them, but there were still chairs and various other pieces of furniture that would do for "resting." Oh how she was getting to despise that word.

The room she entered was dark, lit only by the light streaming through the open doorway from the hall. She waited a moment for her eyes to adjust before she ventured very far inside. She sank down into the first chair she came across and propped her feet up on a low shelf nearby. It was actually more comfortable than she had expected it to be.

Within moments, she felt her body begin to relax, the throbbing in her head became muted and distant, and she began to drift off to sleep.

A few minutes later, however, she was jerked awake by the sound of footsteps outside the room. She opened her eyes in time to see a shadow move quickly past the doorway. For some reason, the sight gave her a chill of dread, as though it was some kind of omen that something horrible was about to happen.

"Dr. Fraiser?" she heard someone calling.

With a muffled groan, she rose slowly to her feet and shuffled wearily to the door.

"Dr. Fraiser, there you are," Nurse Penner greeted her as she emerged from the abandoned ward. She looked half frantic, and this fact didn't make Janet feel any better.

"What's happening? What's wrong?" Janet asked fearfully.

"It's Dr. Jackson," Penner replied. "He's suddenly taken a turn for the worst, Ma'am. Colonel O'Neill insisted I come and find you right away."

Janet felt as though the bottom had just dropped out of her world. 'Not now, Daniel,' she silently pleaded. 'Please don't die on me now.'

All traces of exhaustion melted away, and adrenaline took over as she followed the nurse back to the fever ward.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"This way, Major."

Sam and Rebecca Holmes followed Meese through the darkened streets to a park of some kind on the outskirts of the town.

"This is where the children play," he told them.

The streetlamps cast eerie shadows over the open area, and after being in the thick of a living nightmare back in the hospital, Sam found herself quite spooked by the atmosphere of the quiet, abandoned town. "Alright," she said, taking a deep breath and trying to steer her thoughts away from all things paranormal, "we need to check everything these kids might come across only once in a blue moon. We can start with that clump of trees over there."

"I'm sorry... blue moon?" Meese asked.

Sam couldn't help but smile at the man's confusion. "Sorry, Meese, it's just an expression where we come from. It just means something that's very rare."

"I see."

When they reached the small patch of trees, Sam shone her flashlight around the area to check for any visible anomalies they could look into. "I really wish we had daylight for this," she murmured.

"You and me both," Dr. Holmes said, sounding even more spooked than Sam felt.

Steeling her resolve, Sam stepped forward until she felt the branches close in around her. "Better get started," she said, trying to sound brave but failing miserably.

Meese grunted in dissatisfaction. "I really don't see what good searching these grounds will do," he said. "The children play here every day, yet the mind fever only strikes once or twice in a generation. If your friend's situation is as dire as you say, surely this is a waste of time."

"We can't rule out any possibility," Sam said absently as she examined an interesting looking bush.

"Then please, Major Carter, do not rule out the possibility that it has nothing to do with the place in which the children play."

Oh. He sort of had a point there.

"Okay," Sam conceded as she turned to look him in the face, "where do you suggest we look?"

He paused for a moment before answering. "There is a place," he said slowly, "that we have been forbidden to go for as long as any of us can remember. Sometimes the children dare each other to venture close, but even when they do, they never tell a soul for fear of being punished by the magistrate."

"What place is this?" Sam asked, her curiosity piqued.

"It is a strange structure," he said thoughtfully. "Strange writing is on the walls, a language we have never seen elsewhere and cannot translate."

Sam's heart started racing at this startling revelation. Could it be Goa'uld? Could this really be what they were looking for?

"Why didn't you tell us this before?" she demanded.

"I... I have never associated the structure with the mind fever until this moment," he defended weakly. "We are all forbidden to go near it, so I never thought..."

"Never mind. It doesn't matter," Sam interrupted. "Where is it?"

"I will take you there," he said, backtracking through the trees excitedly. "Come."

Sam called out to Holmes to follow them, and the three scientists jogged back the way they had come.  
  


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To be continued...


	12. Chapter 12

**Mind Fever - Chapter 12**

  
  
Janet was moving so fast down the hall that she practically slid to a stop when she reached the fever ward. Her eyes went directly to Daniel, who was lying peacefully in his bed.

Perhaps a little _too_ peacefully, she thought with a feeling of dread settling in the pit of her stomach. Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c were standing off to the side looking rather shaken, which she took to be a very bad sign.

"Andrew?" she cried as she rushed to Daniel's side.

"Janet." Andrew was already approaching her from the bedside of another of his patients. "Thank God you're here."

She could only stare at him in confusion. Thank God she was here? He'd been the one to kick her out in the first place! What the hell was going on?

"What the hell is going on?" she demanded. She pressed her fingertips to Daniel's neck, and to her great relief, felt a pulse. A very weak, rapid pulse, accompanied by quick breaths that barely moved his chest they were so shallow. Bad... this was very bad.

"The seizures started a few minutes ago," Andrew told her gently. "I've given him the same drugs we gave the others, but they've had little or no effect. During the last one, he went into arrest. I had to defibrillate."

"What?!"

The doctor sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, Janet. I don't think his body can handle much more of this. I think the next seizure is likely to be his last."

Janet's jaw dropped in horror and she looked back down at Daniel in numb silence. How did this happen so fast?

"Would you like us to... give you a moment?"

She shot him a glare at this tentative question. "You mean, to say goodbye?" she challenged.

Carmichael shrugged slightly and gave her arm a sympathetic squeeze. "If it comes to that... yes," he replied. "I'm sorry, Janet."

She nodded. There wasn't much else she could do.

"The sedative is finally working now; that's why he's resting peacefully. If he starts to..."

"I'll call you over," she interrupted. She hated being treated like some patient's frantic, unstable next of kin. She just wanted to be left alone with Daniel as quickly as possible.

He nodded, gave her arm another squeeze, and motioned for Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c to follow him to the other side of the room.

Once they were gone, she sat down in the chair by Daniel's bed. She was relieved to find that his right arm and leg were now free, presumably so he could be rolled onto his side if the need arose. This thought made her shudder. The need _had_ arisen, and she hadn't been there.

She took his free hand in hers and pressed it to her cheek just above her mask. His fever was burning hot even in the back of his hand, but she didn't take it away from her bare skin. She needed to feel him now, needed to know he was still alive for whatever time he had left.

With her other hand she began stroking his soaking wet hair. He looked so peaceful and so flushed with his fever that it made him look much younger than he really was. She wanted nothing more than to cradle him in her arms and rock him like a child until his nightmares were over. Unfortunately, all she could do was sit there, holding his hand and desperately praying to find a way to ease his suffering.

The setting was all too familiar. She had been in this place many times before - sitting vigil at Daniel's bedside as he fought for his life. This time, though, it was different. Their relationship was different. If she lost him now, it would leave a much bigger hole in her life than when she thought she had lost him two years earlier. Part of her wished she could erase the past few months just to spare her this added pain, but another part of her clung to those memories like a life preserver on a stormy sea.

_"I also... I don't regret... our time together."_

She could almost hear his voice repeating the words he had spoken just hours before, and remembering the moment they'd shared back in the quarantine room gave her renewed strength now. She must never allow herself to regret loving Daniel. Never. No matter what, their relationship had not been a mistake.

If only that resolve made the thought of losing him easier to handle.

A slight movement from the man in the bed brought her mind back to the present. The worry lines between Daniel's eyes were creased, and he turned his head a little to one side.

Janet leaned forward and touched her fingertips to his face. "Daniel?" she whispered.

He scrunched his face up even more and tossed his head to the other side. The movement made Janet feel slightly uneasy about the fact that he wasn't completely restrained. She didn't want another black eye or a repeat performance of what had gotten her kicked out of the ward earlier.

"Daniel?" she tried again as he grew more restless. "Just stay calm, okay? I'm here. Everything's going to be okay."

"Mmnh..." Daniel muttered. "Unf... drmsh..."

His incoherent babbling just made Janet feel even worse. These may be her last moments with him, and his mind was completely gone? How much more unfair could the universe get? "It's okay, Daniel," she repeated over and over as his mumbling continued.

Soon one bloodshot blue eye cracked open and peered up at her fearfully.

"Hey there," she said, trying to sound as casual as possible. She stroked his cheek with her thumb and hoped her smile was showing in her eyes enough to reassure him. "That sedative really doesn't last long in you, does it?"

Both eyes flew wide open as she spoke, and he squirmed frantically to get away from her. "Help me," he gasped. "Help... help... help me..."

"Shhh, it's alright, Daniel. It's Janet. I'm not going to hurt you."

"No," he groaned as his eyes drifted shut again. He seemed to be fighting to wake up, but the sedative was demanding that he sleep. "P'ease no... 's too soon..."

His words were so slurred they were barely understandable, but Janet could make out that much. "Too soon?" she repeated. "Too soon for what?"

"P'ease... don' le' me die... don' le' me die..." He wrenched his hand away from her and waved it weakly in the air as though trying to swat something away.

Janet grabbed the flailing hand in both of hers and clasped it tightly to his chest. "You're not going to die, Daniel," she said firmly. "Do you hear me? I need you to keep fighting for me. Don't you ever give up, do you understand?"

He began to shiver so hard that within moments his teeth were chattering noisily. "S'tired..."

"Daniel?"

"Can't... help me..."

"Hold on, Daniel," she begged. Tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill down her cheeks, but she held them back with great effort. This was not the time to break down again.

"Help..." he whispered as his eyes rolled back into his head. Within a split second, his shivers ceased and he became as stiff as a board. His hand clamped so hard around Janet's that she let out a gasp of pain and jumped to her feet.

"Andrew!"

He appeared at her elbow so fast that he must have already been on his way over to them when she called. "Roll him onto his side," he instructed.

Janet was way ahead of him. By the time the violent muscle spasms started, Janet had kicked back into full doctor mode, and Daniel was on his side facing away from her. She held onto him and waited breathlessly for the seizure to come to an end. She only hoped that Andrew had been wrong - that he was still strong enough to handle this and come through it.

Unfortunately, Andrew had been right. After a few agonizing seconds, the spasms suddenly stopped and Daniel went frighteningly still.

"Dammit," Carmichael muttered. Janet could only look on in shock as he laid his fingers on Daniel's neck. "Nothing. Turn him onto his back. Nurse Penner? I'm gonna need your help here." His movements were swift and confident as he charged the defibrillator and prepared the paddles.

Janet stepped back without a word to let Nurse Penner in to help him. Never before had she felt so helpless.

She was vaguely aware of someone's arm wrapping around her shoulders, but she couldn't take her eyes away from Daniel. Every jolt of electricity that went through him went through her heart as well. Every time his body lurched with the shock, everything inside her twisted painfully until her insides were tied up in one big knot.

"Still no pulse. Again."

At this statement, everything around her started to go dark. She felt herself begin to sway, and the next thing she knew, she was falling to the ground.

Janet's last conscious thought was that she should have hit something hard, but instead was the surreal feeling that she was floating.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"This is as far as we are permitted to go," Meese said as they arrived at a high chain-link fence about a mile away from the Stargate. Well, this planet's equivalent to a chain-link fence, anyway.

"I think this once we can break the 'no trespassing' rule, don't you agree?" Sam passed her flashlight to Dr. Holmes and gripped the fence with her fists to test its strength. When she found it was quite sturdy, she began to climb. Flashbacks of sneaking into her neighbour's yard to toilet paper their house one Halloween came to her mind, but she shoved the memory aside and focused on the matter at hand.

Once she reached the top, she draped one leg over to the other side, hauled the rest of her body after it, and jumped to the ground. "Piece of cake," she said. "Who's next?"

Dr. Holmes passed their two flashlights through the fence to Sam, and then scaled the fence in three seconds flat. Meese wasted no time in following their lead, and soon they were on their way again.

"It is just through there," Meese told them as they reached a clump of trees. A very dark clump of trees. Sam noted with unease that Meese was looking rather squeamish.

"You can stay here while we check it out if you want to," she offered.

"No... no, I will go with you," he replied, licking his dry lips and wringing his hands nervously. "It was I who led you here, and I will accept full blame if the magistrate takes objection."

Sam smiled appreciatively at him, knowing what it must have taken for him to say that. "Okay, then," she said. "Let's go."

She led the way into the stand of trees, careful to keep an eye on where she was stepping. She had only gone a few feet in when she stopped and stared in amazement at what lay before her.

In the midst of a small clearing, not five feet away from her, nestled a miniature replica of the temple on Kheb.

"Oh my God," she breathed as she stepped closer and shone her flashlight over its simplistic design.

"Major?" Dr. Holmes asked warily.

Sam shook her head in wonder. "I don't think it was the Goa'uld who made this," she said. As she stepped close enough to the structure to see the detail on the outer wall clearly, every doubt in her mind was laid to rest. "Look at these symbols... it's Ancient!"

"Ancient?" Meese asked, confused.

"Yes. It was an alien race called the Ancients who built the Stargate system," she explained. "It looks like they built this place, too. Is there a door?"

Meese looked hesitant for a moment, but he led them around to one side of the building and motioned towards a small doorway that was almost invisible under the low roof.

"Alright," Sam said with a sigh as she tried to calm her nerves, "we'd better go in MOP2. Meese, you'd better put your mask and gloves back on."

Sam and Dr. Holmes took their helmets and gloves out of their packs, and the three of them geared up in silence. Sam was the first one ready, and she made her way cautiously over to the door.

It was low enough that she almost had to duck her head to enter, and she could just imagine Daniel rushing excitedly inside and whacking the top of his head on the doorframe. This thought sobered her, as it brought it home to her that he may never be able to accompany SG-1 on their off-world missions again.

With renewed determination, she led the way into the structure, hoping and praying with all her might that the answer might lie inside.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	13. Chapter 13

**Mind Fever - Chapter 13**

  
  
A slight scuffling sound brought Janet slowly around to consciousness. For one brief, delicious moment she thought she was home in bed, and that the vague memory she had of watching Daniel die... again... had been nothing more than a bad dream.

Without opening her eyes, she rolled over onto her side and stretched her hand out across the mattress she was lying on, hoping to feel Daniel's warm, comforting presence beside her. Instead, all she felt was the edge of the bed.

"Fraiser? You awake?"

Her heart sank at these words and the voice that spoke them. She didn't want anything to prove to her that it had all been real. She wanted to stay in her own little world of denial for just a bit longer. If Colonel O'Neill was sitting beside her, that meant that her nightmare wasn't a nightmare after all, and that Daniel really was dead.

"Doc?"

A gentle hand gripped her shoulder and turned her over onto her back. She cracked an eye open - the only eye that _would_ open - to look at him. "Colonel?"

"Hey, Doc," he said almost casually. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible," she replied as her eye closed again of its own accord. Her eyelid was just too heavy to lift for any amount of time.

"I bet. You passed out back there. Carmichael was pretty worried about you for a while."

Her eye finally flew open at this statement. "For a while? How long was I out?"

"About an hour."

"An hour?" She felt a wave of panic wash over her as these words sank in. If an hour had gone by, they would already have taken his body away. If they had...

"I have to see him!" she cried. She tried to sit up, but the action made the room start to spin, and she flopped helplessly back down onto her pillow.

"Whoa, easy, Doc," Colonel O'Neill soothed. "I don't think you should get up just yet."

'No kidding,' Janet thought, holding her head in both hands to stop it from floating up around the ceiling. "Daniel," she said, though it sounded more like a moan to her ears. "I need to see Daniel."

"Sure." He stood up from his chair and sat down on the edge of the bed. "He's right over there."

Janet turned her head to look in the direction he was pointing, and the relief she felt at what she saw was almost overwhelming.

Daniel was still alive. He was hooked up to a respirator, but he was still alive, and lying in the bed next to hers.

"Oh, thank God," she breathed, closing her eye again with relief and exhaustion. "What's his condition?"

"He's stable for now," the colonel informed her. "It was pretty close there for a while. We almost lost him a couple times."

"I thought I had," she murmured. She was desperate to stay awake; to shake off the dizziness and get back to Daniel's bedside where she belonged, but the temptation of sleep was too great. The last thing she heard as she drifted off once again was Colonel O'Neill's voice.

"It's okay, Doc. We're taking care of him for you. You sleep."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"I see she was awake for a minute there," Carmichael said quietly.

"Yeah," Jack replied as he settled himself back into his seat between Daniel and Fraiser's beds. "She asked about Daniel. Seemed kinda dizzy and disoriented, though. Then she fell asleep."

"Asleep is better than unconscious," Carmichael said, taking Fraiser's wrist to check her pulse.

"She gonna be okay?"

Carmichael sighed and gently lowered her hand back onto the bed. "I'm pretty sure she will, yes. When I checked her pupils a few minutes ago, they were fine. I don't think her passing out had anything to do with her concussion."

"What, then? Because she's fighting off the mind fever?"

He shook his head and pulled his mask down from his face. "The organisms in her bloodstream were dead, Colonel. We've seen no evidence that those who are immune feel any effects whatsoever, even when they have the disease in their systems."

"Stress?"

Carmichael nodded slowly. "Stress, exhaustion... I don't think she's even had anything to eat since she was on Earth. It's really not surprising that she's been so emotional, either. Her body's been through a lot these last few hours."

Jack glanced over at Daniel as Carmichael spoke, the sound of the respirator making him feel uneasy.

Carmichael noticed this and followed his gaze. "What did you tell her... about Daniel?"

"I told her he's stable for now," Jack replied, sizing the doctor up as if daring him to say anything to the contrary. "It's the truth, right?"

Carmichael looked uncomfortable at this question and suddenly seemed to find his shoes quite fascinating. "For now, yes," he said cryptically. "I still think it's a bad idea for her to be in here, though, Sir."

"And I still say she would kill us if we took her out of here now," Jack told him for the tenth time. "If anything happens to Daniel, she'd want to be with him. You know that."

Carmichael looked down at Janet again and nodded. "Just be prepared to..." His voice broke off before he could finish his sentence, and a strange look passed over his face. "Help her through it, Colonel," he finished. Then he quickly walked away.

Jack stared after him for a moment in confusion. He could have sworn the guy was much more concerned about Fraiser than about Daniel. And the way he'd looked at her... Jack couldn't explain why, but it got his hackles up. In his opinion, nobody had a right to look at Fraiser that way except Daniel.

He glanced back and forth between the sleeping forms on either side of him, wishing there was some way he could right all the wrongs that had been done to them. 'Fat chance of that,' he thought. There was nothing he could do now but wait, and be a friend they could rely on if - _when_ - they came through this.

And they would come through it, he resolved. They had to be okay. Both of them.

He smiled slightly to himself as he remembered how ecstatic he'd been the day Daniel had sat the rest of SG-1 down and told them that he and Fraiser were getting serious. For years Jack had watched his friend mourn the loss of his wife, determined that he would never love another woman in her place. As much as Jack understood this philosophy, that sad, lonely look that so often appeared on Daniel's face had really started to get on his nerves. Not in a heartless way - far from it. He simply hated to see his friend so down, and felt helpless to do anything to make things better for him.

Not long before Daniel had ascended, it had become sort of a running joke between various members of the base personnel that Daniel's frequent trips to the infirmary were at least partially psychosomatic - that he just wanted to spend time with Fraiser any way he could. Jack had laughed at the idea at first, but when he'd actually sat and watched the two of them together, he couldn't help but notice the way Daniel's face lit up whenever the doc entered the room, nor how Fraiser's tone softened whenever she spoke to him, whether he was in trouble or not. After a while, he got so he kind of liked the idea.

To everyone's great annoyance, though, both Daniel and Fraiser seemed totally blind to the whole thing - or at least Daniel was. That was proven by the fact that Daniel chose to ascend.

When Fraiser asked for temporary leave soon after, everyone knew why, though no one said anything about it. She was mourning him, and needed to get it out of her system in private before she could handle working every day in the very room where Daniel had "died." It took her a few months, but she finally seemed to get over him and begin to move on.

Soon after Daniel returned to them, though, the "get over him" part seemed to be out the window. Daniel and Fraiser just seemed to gravitate towards each other again, even when he barely remembered who she was. Jack had just gotten wind of a betting pool some airman had set up for folks to predict how long it would take before the two of them got together, when Daniel told him the news. Seeing the two of them so happy together had warmed Jack's heart - though he would never let it show.

He'd hoped that the universe had finally decided to give Daniel a break and allow him for once in his life to be truly happy for more than a fleeting moment at a time.

Unfortunately, it hadn't. In fact, it had struck him the most devastating blow of all - it was playing him the movie of his traumatic life on his inner big screen, complete with stereo surround sound, and forcing Fraiser to watch most of it with him. Pretty soon it would completely snatch all of his memories away from him again... unless it first stole his life. At that particular moment, Jack was having a hard time deciding which option was the worse of the two.

The more he thought about all of this, the angrier he became. The longer he stared at Daniel and watched his chest rise and fall with each puff of air the respirator pumped into him, the more he wanted to beat something... anything... to a pulp.

There was only one slightly positive thing he could see at the moment, and that was that Daniel's seizures had finally stopped. Still, his muscles twitched and spasmed every now and then even though he was unconscious, and when the muscles in his chest contracted, he struggled just to breathe. None of the other mind fever victims had needed the respirator as far as Jack knew, but then again, none of the people who had it as bad as Daniel had lived this long.

Even in the time Jack had been sitting there watching his friend, he'd seen his skin gradually changing colour from a flushed, deep pink to an odd-looking shade of purple. He'd been told to expect this - the purplish rash would soon cause Daniel's skin to break and would quickly develop into oozing sores. Jack's stomach turned at the thought. He'd seen Daniel covered with bleeding lesions before, and he didn't care to see it again.

When he finally couldn't stand to watch Daniel's condition worsening anymore, he shifted in his seat slightly to focus on Fraiser. At least now he knew he didn't have to worry about going through all of this with her. It was a relief to all of them, but somehow he dreaded telling her that she was immune to this thing. Whether it was rational or not, he knew she'd feel guilty about it.

It had scared them all senseless when she'd passed out an hour earlier. Jack had somehow managed to catch her before she hit the ground and had carried her over to an empty cot, but that was as much as he was able to do. He just froze, listening to the defibrillator charging and sending yet another jolt through Daniel's lifeless body, and looking down at Fraiser, half expecting her to die on him as well. His mind couldn't process that - losing both of them at once. That would be way more than just unfair. It was downright unthinkable.

As soon as Carmichael got Daniel's heart beating again, he'd turned his attentions onto Fraiser, checking her over with great care and sending a sample of her blood off to be analyzed. When the verdict had come in that she had some of those damn organisms in her blood, they could have heard a pin drop the room got so silent so fast. Then came the news that the little buggers were dead, and it was as though the entire building gave a sigh of relief all at once. Nobody wanted to see Fraiser going through something like this. Nobody.

Too bad her immunity didn't prevent her from being affected by the disease in other ways.

He glanced over at Daniel again, just in time to see a droplet of blood appear on his rash-covered arm. Jack cursed angrily and grabbed the tube of antiseptic lotion Carmichael had left for him. As much as it made him cringe to touch Daniel's raw skin, this was a job he could do, and he was damned if he'd just keep sitting there doing nothing when he could be helping to ease his friend's suffering just a little. He smeared some of the lotion onto the fresh wound and was pleased to see that it seemed to slow its formation down a little. Then he noticed another appearing close to it and smeared some cream on it as well. Then he saw another forming, and another, and another...

"Dammit," he grumbled, throwing back Daniel's sheet and seeing that they were spreading all over his body. "Doc!"

Carmichael rushed over to him, and one glance down at Daniel told him why he had been summoned. "It's okay, Colonel, we can take it from here," he said as he took the tube from Jack's hands.

"It's happening too fast..."

"I know, Colonel, it's alright. Thank you for your help."

Jack shook his head bitterly, but didn't say aloud what he was thinking - 'Some help I've been.' He hated to leave Daniel's side, but he knew he should leave Carmichael to do his job in peace.

He stretched his neck and shrugged his shoulders as he crossed the room to change his gloves, trying to work out the kinks he now had from sitting vigil for the past hour. He was just beginning to ponder the benefits of a shoulder massage when he heard rapid footsteps approaching the ward from out in the hall.

"Colonel!" Carter said as she appeared in the doorway.

Jack glanced over at Daniel once more before going over to see what she wanted. "Carter?"

"Sir," she said as she tried to catch her breath. "I think we've found something."

Jack's heart lurched up into his throat at this announcement. "A cure?"

"Not quite yet, Sir, but... I think we've come pretty damn close."  
  


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To be continued...


	14. Chapter 14

**Mind Fever - Chapter 14**

  
  
"We think it's a laboratory, Sir."

Colonel O'Neill blinked at her wearily. "The Ancients had laboratories?"

"Well... yes, I would imagine so," Sam replied, her excitement turning into confusion at his reaction. "But we don't think this was actually an _Ancients'_ laboratory, per se..."

"I thought you said the Ancients built the place?"

Sam closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and tried not to let her concentration shatter. Nothing muddled up her thoughts faster than Colonel O'Neill's interjections when she was trying to explain something. "Yes, Sir, they did. They built the structure millennia ago, but more recently it was used by the ancestors of the people on this planet."

"Whatever," he said somewhat impatiently. "You did say you're close to finding a cure, right?"

"Closer than we were, yes, Sir. Once the writings we found can be translated, I'm sure much more light will be shed on how to find a cure."

"So, you did find something?" Dr. James asked hopefully.

Sam nodded. "Yes, we did. The reason we believe it to have been some kind of laboratory is because we found all kinds of equipment inside similar to what we use for scientific study. One of the devices held some sort of solution that, when we examined it, turned out to be teeming with the organisms that cause the mind fever."

Colonel O'Neill had been slouched in his chair with his elbows on his knees until then, but at this announcement he sat straight up and demanded, "Please tell me you didn't touch the stuff, Carter."

Sam looked at him for a moment, puzzled by his outburst. "No, Sir, of course not," she assured him. "We brought back a sample for study, but we were in full MOP gear the entire time."

"So, what you're saying is, whenever there has been an outbreak of this illness, it's because someone wandered into this laboratory and touched this device?" Dr. James asked.

"Not necessarily," Sam said. "The organisms we found were lying dormant. We think the solution they were in was holding them in some form of stasis. Also, there was no way a child could have opened or activated the device to get at what was inside."

"Then how?"

Sam and Meese exchanged grave looks before Sam answered. "Whoever created these organisms - and I do believe they were created artificially - they wanted them for a reason."

"What reason?" the colonel asked.

"We can't say for sure until the writings on and inside the structure have all been translated, but from what we can gather from the notes left behind by these people's ancestors, we believe that they were using the results of the Ancients' research to try to create a poison that could wipe out their enemy."

"Their enemy being..."

"The Goa'uld, Sir."

Colonel O'Neill sighed and buried his face in his hands. "Why does that not surprise me?"

"We're fairly certain these people somehow made themselves immune to it, and set up booby traps around the complex in case the Goa'uld somehow got in and tried to destroy their research. We found various places around the structure where such traps were almost certainly hidden. The unsuspecting person would go to turn a handle or press a button and would be exposed to the organisms that would then worm their way into their systems through their skin."

"Wait, you said they made themselves immune?" Dr. James broke in, unable to contain his excitement long enough to listen to another word.

Sam forced a tiny smile. "I'm getting to that part, Taylor," she said. "Again, this is only conjecture, but I believe this whole thing began with research into the plague that was killing the Ancients thousands of years ago. They were trying to find a cure. Obviously they failed, but many years later, someone stumbled across their 'lab notes', so to speak, and incorporated them into their own experiments."

O'Neill looked up at her again. "So this half-assed cure somehow turned into a poison that somehow turned into this mind fever thing?" he said doubtfully. "Seems pretty far-fetched, don't you think?"

"Not really, Sir. You'd be surprised at how often the search for a cure will actually result in furthering the disease. Like causing a mutant strain... a hybrid. The Ancients' plague crossed with something like Machello's Goa'uld killers... it seems possible that it could turn into something like this, doesn't it?"

Colonel O'Neill rolled his eyes and opened his hands in a 'you win' gesture.

"Anyway," she went on, "it seems they somehow had a sample of DNA from one of the Ancients to work with, and they found that the Ancients would be immune to the final product. They synthesized whatever it was that caused this immunity and injected it into the entire population. Which would probably explain why some of the people today are immune - it was passed down throughout the generations, but is starting to get weaker and more hit-and-miss as time goes by."

"That wouldn't explain Dr. Fraiser's immunity," Dr. James said.

Sam did a double take, his words not quite sinking in for a moment. "What?"

"Fraiser's immune, Carter," Colonel O'Neill said quietly. "She's got a bunch of the little buggers in her system, but they're all dead."

Sam stared at the colonel in surprise for a moment before she found her voice to reply. "Okay, so there goes that theory," she said. "Maybe some humans are simply born with whatever causes the immunity. Some sort of rare gene or something."

"Fascinating, Carter," O'Neill snapped. "But it seems to me that what you're saying here is that you might _possibly_ have found a way to prevent this thing, but not a way to cure it once a person is infected."

Sam looked down at her shoes, trying to find the right words to say. She didn't want to make it seem hopeless - not when Daniel was lying in the other room on his deathbed. Still, she also didn't want to get his hopes up now just to be dashed in the end when they couldn't save him. "For now... yes, Sir," she said gently. "I'm afraid that's exactly what I'm saying."

Colonel O'Neill gave her a dark look then stood up and began pacing the room restlessly.

Meese finally decided to break his silence at that moment. As the colonel passed by him, he laid a hand on his arm and said, "As long as he is alive, there is still a chance."

Sam looked over at Meese in surprise. She would never have expected him to come out with something like that, yet he looked like he believed it with his whole heart. Tears filled her eyes as Colonel O'Neill silently nodded his thanks and continued his slow pacing.

"What about the writing?" the colonel asked a moment later. "I know Daniel would have it translated in no time, but he's not exactly able to..."

"I sent Dr. Holmes to contact the SGC and ask for help in that regard, Sir," Sam hurriedly broke in. "There are a handful of linguists on base who can translate the language of the Ancients almost as well as Daniel can. I'm sure it won't be long before..."

"Good," he cut her off. "Keep me posted." With that, he left the room.

Sam looked around at the other scientists, the air hanging silent and heavy around them. They all knew that the colonel's brusqueness was due to his concern for his friend, and that time was running out to save him.

"Let's get to work, people," she said. They had a job to do.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

_"Janet, have you seen my keys?"_

She rolled her eyes and smiled. Daniel would lose his own head somewhere if it weren't attached to his shoulders. "They're here on the counter where you left them, Daniel."

He padded barefoot into the kitchen and flashed her a sheepish smile as he pocketed the keys. "What would I do without you?" he teased.

"I don't know... what did you do before me?"

Daniel laughed and took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "I had to get a new set of keys every few months, that's what."

She laughed as he bent down to kiss the tip of her nose. "Think that's good enough, Dr. Jackson?" she asked with a shake of her head. Before he had the chance to get away, she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him back down for a passionate kiss.

Even though he returned the kiss warmly, he soon broke away and tried to step back. Not one to give up that easily, Janet's lips sought his once again, until she felt his fingertips pressed against them. She found herself looking deep into his eyes, and she was disturbed at the intense pain she saw there.

"Help me, Janet," he said.

Janet shook her head in confusion. "Help you with what?"

His expression grew more and more pained and distressed. "Help me!" he whispered. "Help me!"

"Help me!"

Janet's eyes flew open as someone rushed past her bed.

"It's okay, Daniel, we're just trying to give you something for the pain."

"No!!"

Janet turned onto her side to face Daniel's bed at the sound of his frightened cry. Dr. Carmichael and Nurse Penner were hovering over him, trying to untangle him from his IV line while his arms waved about wildly in an effort to push them away.

"As much as I hate to say this," Carmichael said over the racket, "I think we may have to restrain him again. We can deal with the damage to his wrists and ankles later. For now we need to calm him down before his heart completely gives out on him."

"No!" Janet cried, sitting bolt upright and struggling to get out from under the blankets.

Before she could leap out of the bed, she felt a firm hand on her arm. "Dr. Fraiser, please calm yourself."

She glanced over her shoulder to see Teal'c sitting beside her. "Teal'c?" She looked down at her hands and saw that they were bare. "Teal'c, please get me my gloves and mask. I need to help Daniel."

"They are no longer necessary, Dr. Fraiser," he said. "You have already been exposed to the disease and have been proven immune."

"What?!" She tried again to get down from the bed, but Teal'c again held her back.

"I do not believe it would be wise for you to interfere in their work," he cautioned.

"_Help me!!_" Daniel screamed.

"The hell it isn't!" Janet wrenched herself away from Teal'c and hopped down from the bed. She gritted her teeth against the wave of dizziness that greeted her, and staggered over to Daniel's bedside.

"Janet, you should be lying down," Andrew said between attempts at grabbing Daniel's arm.

"Not when I might be of help over here."

"You're not..."

"He responded to me before when he could see my face," she cut in. "At least let me _try_."

Carmichael reluctantly nodded, so Janet wasted no time. She grabbed Daniel's chin in her hand and turned his head so he was looking straight at her. "Daniel, look at me," she demanded.

His whimpers for help continued, though he obeyed and focused his eyes myopically on her face.

"Listen to me, Daniel. We're trying to help you, but you have to stop fighting us. Okay?" She paused, hoping for a response, no matter how subtle. When he didn't react, she asked, "Do you understand what I'm saying, Daniel? Nod your head if you understand me."

Daniel merely bit his lip to hold back a sob.

"It's no use, Janet," Carmichael said, his voice soft and quiet. "He doesn't understand. He's still hallucinating. We're going to have to restrain him."

Janet shot him a cold glare. "He's still right now. Do what you have to do."

Carmichael sighed and nodded. As soon as he tried to lift Daniel's arm to free it of the IV line, however, Daniel's frantic squirming and cries for help began again in earnest.

"Stop it, Daniel!" Janet shouted. She took hold of his shoulders and leaned down heavily on him to hold him in place while Andrew worked. Daniel's cries of pain ripped her heart to shreds, but she didn't loosen her grip. "Shhh, it'll all be over soon," she soothed, her face just a few inches away from his.

Suddenly, Daniel went completely limp and squinted up at Janet as though he was seeing her for the first time. His eyes were still pained, but gazed right into hers with intense concentration.

Janet smiled at him. "That's it. Just relax and let Dr. Carmichael work, okay?"

He didn't respond, just kept on studying her face closely, seeming to find her the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen.

"I'm finished," Dr. Carmichael said a moment later. "You can let him go now."

Janet slowly released the pressure on Daniel's shoulders and tried to straighten up again, but Daniel's hand shot out and grasped her arm. She resisted the urge to cry out at the pain his iron grip caused and forced herself to keep on smiling. "What is it, Daniel?"

"Please don't go," he whispered.

Janet looked up at Carmichael in surprise and saw that he was just as baffled by this request as she was. She turned her attention back to Daniel then, and gently pried his fingers off her arm. "Okay," she said, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "I'll stay with you. Will that make you feel better?"

His eyes were wide as he watched her every move, but he nodded and allowed her to release herself from his grasp.

She held his hand in both of her own and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Go to sleep now, Daniel," she said. "You're safe."

His face relaxed and his eyelids drooped as she continued to murmur reassurances to him and stroke his hand. Within moments, he was fast asleep.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	15. Chapter 15

**Mind Fever - Chapter 15**

  
  
"So, I'm gone for ten minutes and all hell breaks loose? What the hell happened?" Jack demanded as he entered the ward.

Carmichael shushed him and led him further away from Daniel's bed. "He woke up pretty scared, Colonel," he told Jack in hushed tones. "He ripped the oxygen mask off his face and got himself tangled up in his IV line."

"What about Fraiser?"

"The commotion woke her up, too, and she insisted on being the one to calm him down." He glanced over at the two on the bed, his gaze softening as he watched Fraiser stroking Daniel's hand and speaking to him softly as she would to a frightened child. "Strangely enough, it worked."

Jack mentally kicked himself for wanting to strangle the guy at this remark. For some reason, everything Carmichael did today was rubbing him the wrong way. "Why's that so strange?" he asked.

Carmichael sighed. "Well, for one thing, there wasn't a trace of recognition in his eyes when he looked at her, Colonel. By now, his memory is more than likely completely gone. He's also still hallucinating, which made all of the other victims think we were attacking them whenever we went near them. He did react that way to myself and Nurse Penner, but... not to Janet."

Jack huffed a laugh, trying not to feel like rubbing the man's nose in it. "Well, that's Daniel for you," he said. "Even when he didn't remember any one of us, he still trusted Fraiser and did everything she said. She has that effect on him."

Carmichael nodded and kept on staring at Fraiser with a sorrowful look on his face.

Jack resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but it took great effort. "I was just talking to Carter and Meese," he said to change the subject. "They're pretty sure they can find a way to prevent this thing from becoming a problem again."

Carmichael swung his head around to look at him. "That's great!"

"Yeah. Only problem is, they don't think they'll find a cure in time to help the people who already have it."

The hopeful look vanished from Carmichael's face, and he turned back to face Fraiser and Daniel. "I'm afraid it wouldn't have made any difference even if they had, Colonel," he said, his voice tight with emotion. "The majority of the survivors are now resting comfortably, their fevers all but gone. Daniel's temperature has already gone down about a degree." He paused for a moment and swallowed hard. "It's over, Colonel," he finally added. "The damage has been done."

Jack's heart started pounding so hard at this statement that it felt like it was trying to jump right out of his chest. His eyes grew wide as he looked over at Daniel, the permanency of what he was seeing finally sinking in. "There's nothing we can do?" he demanded. "What, he's just gonna be like this forever?"

Carmichael gave him such a look of deep empathy that Jack wanted to slap him senseless. "I'm sorry, Sir. From what I gather, anyone who survives the mind fever suffers permanent brain damage and never fully recovers."

"That is _not_ what I want to hear."

"It's the truth of the matter, Colonel. I'm sorry... but Daniel will never be the same."

Jack had heard enough. Whether it was rational or not, his initial annoyance with this guy had now turned into out-and-out fury. "The hell he won't," he said, his voice dangerously low with anger. "And if I find out that you're not giving one hundred percent towards his recovery..."

Carmichael looked sincerely shocked and insulted by this remark. "I would never give less than one hundred percent towards my patients' care, Colonel. You must know that."

Jack took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down and get his thoughts together. Of course he knew that. How could he have thought otherwise? It's not like he even had proof that Carmichael was feeling anything but sympathy for Fraiser, after all. What the hell had gotten into him? "Sorry," he said gruffly, averting his eyes from the doctor's face. "I'm just sick of this whole damn thing."

"I know," Carmichael sympathized. "And believe me, Sir, I _will_ do everything in my power to ensure that Daniel makes it through this. And... that he recovers as much as possible in the days ahead."

Jack studied the other man for a moment and came to the conclusion that he was in earnest in his promise. "Thanks," he said.

He'd hold him to it.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Once she was sure Daniel was sound asleep, Janet gently settled his oxygen mask back over his nose and mouth. His breathing didn't seem as shallow or laboured as it had earlier, but she wanted to be on the safe side.

He squirmed and made a quiet whimpering sound when it touched his face, but he didn't wake up. Janet breathed a sigh of relief and took his hand again.

She winced as her fingers touched a spot just above the bandages on his wrist that was somewhat sticky. She knew it was because of the cream that had been applied to his sores, and it made her stomach do somersaults. It was strange - it never affected her this much when she saw anyone else in this kind of condition, but with Daniel or Cassie it was very much different. Try as she might, she couldn't distance herself from their suffering. Everything they felt, she felt as well.

Looking down at her bare hand wrapped around his, it suddenly hit her that this was the first time she had been able to really touch him in all the time they had been here on this planet. Well, except for that one moment that she'd brought his hand up to touch her cheek. She wondered whether it had been that slight touch or the fist she had taken to the face that had exposed her to the illness. Whatever had done it she didn't care. She just wished she hadn't been immune. Then at least she would have shared in Daniel's suffering rather than having to look on helplessly as he grew sicker and sicker.

"Now I know why Mika was so upset to learn he wasn't ill," she murmured as she reached out to stroke the side of Daniel's face. "I guess this is what you call survivor's guilt."

Once again, Daniel reacted to the touch without waking up. He turned his head just a little to lean further into her palm and sighed into his mask.

Janet couldn't help but smile at the unconscious action. It was so _Daniel_. Even before their relationship had turned serious, Janet had watched Daniel sleep on many occasions in the infirmary. While he was usually a sound sleeper, she found out early on that any light touch would get a subtle reaction. If he was in pain, his brow would furrow in distress, but any other time his lips would curve upward in a tiny smile, or he would shift position and sigh, trying to get closer to whomever was there. It was almost as though he was so starving for contact that he craved it even in his sleep.

The first night they had slept together, Daniel had fallen asleep with his arm draped across her waist and his head nestled against her shoulder. She soon discovered that this was to be the norm - he needed to hold or be held as he slept. Even if Janet would turn away from him during the night, before long his arms would reach out for her again, and he would snuggle up to her back without waking for even a second.

Not that she minded. It was part of who he was, and she loved him all the more for it. Knowing that the mind fever supposedly stole all that a person was away from them, she was overjoyed to see that this part of his character was still in tact. It brought her a wonderfully warm feeling of hope that perhaps that wasn't the only thing he had managed to hold onto.

"How's he doing?"

Janet turned to see Colonel O'Neill standing beside her. "He's sleeping comfortably," she answered. She pressed the back of her hand to Daniel's forehead to quickly gauge his temperature. "His fever seems to be coming down now," she said. "I think the worst is finally over."

Colonel O'Neill cleared his throat and stuffed his hands deep inside his pockets. "Doc... Janet..."

Janet snapped to attention at the sound of her given name. She knew the colonel only used it in extreme circumstances. Whatever he was about to say wasn't going to be good.

"You know the long-term effects of this thing, right?" he finally asked, sounding more uncomfortable than she'd ever known him to be.

She gave a short nod. "Yes, I do."

"So... you know that even though the worst might be over... it's not gonna get much better than this either?"

"I know."

They sat in silence for a moment before the colonel spoke again. "I was just talking to Carter," he said. "She found out what caused it, and she thinks they can probably create a vaccine to stop this from happening again."

Janet tried to speak, but found that her voice wasn't working. She simply nodded instead.

"Well..." His voice was so low it was almost a whisper. "Just thought I'd let you know."

"Thank you, Colonel," she managed to say past the lump in her throat.

A tear rolled down her cheek as he walked away, and she swiped at it angrily with her sleeve. His words had made the whole thing seem so real and so permanent. Up until that point, part of her had still believed this couldn't really be happening - that somehow Daniel would come out of it okay. The thought that he _wasn't_ going to be okay was too horrible to even consider.

She thought about the dream she'd had, and it made her feel all the more despondent. She and Daniel had made so many lovely memories together, that day being one of them. It was only the day after they had moved in together, but they had been so happy and so comfortable with each other that the moment Daniel had walked through the door with his suitcases, it had felt as though he had been there all along. Their old-married-couple exchange that first morning had sent a thrill from her head to her toes as she realized that what they had wasn't just a superficial, temporary arrangement. They were in this for life.

She stifled a sob and leaned down to kiss the soft skin of Daniel's temple. It wasn't fair... none of this was fair. They had been so happy, and now all of it was gone.

"Janet?"

She didn't even bother to turn around this time. "Please just leave me alone, Drew," she said wearily.

"I'm sorry, Janet, but I need to check on those sores."

She gave a resigned sigh and slowly got to her feet. "I don't really want to let go of his hand," she said, her gaze never leaving Daniel's face.

"That's fine," Andrew assured her. "Just as long as you allow me to work."

She nodded silently and stepped to the side so that he could get in to tend to Daniel.

Daniel winced and squirmed a few times during Carmichael's examination and the treating of his sores, but he did not awaken. Every now and then the pressure on Janet's hand would increase, and she'd give his wrist a reassuring pat.

As much as she hated to admit it to herself, she took solace in that fact that she seemed able to comfort him even when he was this far-gone. As long as this held true, she felt she could face the coming days of having to care for his every need. As long as she could still see traces of the Daniel she knew and loved, she would get through this.

He had fought hard to stay alive this long, that much was obvious. He'd kept his promise to 'hang in there.' Surely that proved that he was still in control... that he was still _Daniel_.

She hoped and prayed that it was true.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	16. Chapter 16

**Mind Fever - Chapter 16**

  
  
The sun was rising as Sam made her way back to the Stargate, but the town center was as silent and still as it had been during her little field trip in the dead of night. While the atmosphere was no longer oppressive and eerie, she still felt a shiver run down her spine as she thought of all that had happened here. She could hardly believe it had been less than twenty-four hours since the four of them had arrived on this planet. Their lives had changed unalterably in that time.

When she reached the Stargate, she sank down onto one of the stone steps to wait. Dr. Holmes had contacted the SGC a little while earlier and was told that a team of archaeologists would be coming through at this time to examine the Ancients' structure and hopefully translate the writing they had found. Sam had requested to be the one to meet them when they arrived. She felt she needed some time alone to think, and the walk to the Stargate was her best chance at getting it.

She leaned her elbows on her knees and buried her face in her hands as her mind replayed the scene she had witnessed just moments before - Janet preparing Daniel to be taken home. Since the organisms in his system were finally dead and he was no longer contagious, Janet had requested to get him back to the SGC as soon as possible. Colonel O'Neill had been more than happy to agree - he wanted to get as far away from this planet as possible, just like the rest of them.

Once she had heard this, Janet had wasted no time in starting to prepare Daniel for the trip. When she had tried to give him a quick sponge bath, however, he had awoken and tried to fight her off. It had taken a minute to get him back under control, but even after he stopped fighting her, his screams of agony every time Janet had touched his broken skin were heartrending. Sam had heard them all the way down the hall where she was still working in the lab. She had rushed to the fever ward just in time to see him curl up in a ball on the bed, shivering and sobbing as though he had been tortured and violated in the worst possible way. Janet hadn't looked much better.

Tears sprang into Sam's eyes as she remembered how excited Daniel had been to come to this planet. It was their first real "exploration" mission as a team in a long time, and he had confided to her before they left how much he had missed doing that of late. She wished now that they'd never left the SGC. Whether he enjoyed it or not, he would have been fine if he'd been stuck in his office poring over translations and cataloguing artifacts.

She clenched her fists and brought them down hard on the stone platform. It was all so damn unfair. What the hell had Daniel ever done to deserve something like this? Why did it always have to be him that this kind of thing happened to?

It had been so intensely painful to watch as he had succumbed to radiation poisoning two years earlier that she had almost died with him. That was why she couldn't bear to just sit around and watch it happen all over again. She had hoped that this time she'd be able to do something to save him, but once again, she had failed. Nothing she had done had made a shred of difference. Nothing she could do could repair the damage that had been done. She hadn't even been there to comfort him through it. What kind of a friend was that?

Now it was too late. His mind was completely gone. He didn't even seem to recognize any of them, not even Janet. While he'd had amnesia before and come through it, his memory loss then wasn't caused by brain damage, nor was it so complete that he couldn't function on his own. This was much, much worse. He didn't even seem to know his own name.

Sam was startled to her feet as the inner wheel of the Stargate started to spin and the first chevron locked. 'Right on time,' she thought as she glanced at her watch. She wiped her face with her sleeve to get rid of any telltale signs of her tears as the wormhole engaged.

Before long, six figures came through the gate, all dressed in hazmat suits, some carrying equipment or baggage of some kind. Even through their helmets, though, Sam immediately recognized each one of them.

"Colonel Dixon," she greeted as he made his way down the steps towards her.

He nodded his acknowledgment. "Major. You the welcoming party?"

"Yes, Sir." She smiled and nodded at the rest of his team, and noted that Lt. Satterfield and Dr. Lee were also with them. She was glad of that - Lt. Satterfield had been Daniel's shadow ever since he had descended, and she had become quite skilled at translating the Ancients' language because of it. Dr. Lee was their foremost expert on alien technologies, so she knew the alien laboratory would be in good hands with him. "I'll show you the way," she said, holding out her arm in the direction of the building they had come to see.

Satterfield fell into step beside her as they walked along. "If you don't mind my asking, Major," she said, "how is Dr. Jackson?"

Sam looked over at the young woman and saw the sincere concern in her eyes. She knew the lieutenant had always been fond of Daniel, even to the point of having a sizable crush on him, so she chose her words carefully. "He's... pretty sick," she finally answered. "The illness has run its course now, but he's been left with some pretty debilitating aftereffects."

"But he's going to be okay, right?"

Sam looked away, unable to meet the young woman's gaze any longer. "I sure hope so," was all she could honestly say.

They spent the remainder of the trek in silence.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Janet, we're going to have to dress him somehow and get him onto the stretcher."

Carmichael's clipped words irritated Janet to no end. She knew exactly what they had to do. They couldn't just take Daniel out in the cool morning air with nothing but a thin blanket covering him, after all. She just couldn't face putting him through more pain by touching him - at least not yet. His agonized screams from getting him cleaned up had only just died down to heartbroken sobs, and she wasn't anxious to hear anything like that again. "It can wait until he calms down," she snapped.

He clamped his hand around her arm and pulled her over to the side of the room. Janet was about to squawk a protest when he spoke. "He's not going to calm down anytime soon, and you know it."

She stared up at him for a moment in dumbfounded shock. She couldn't believe those words had just come out of his mouth. "He will if we just leave him alone for a few more minutes," she said after a moment of trying to get her voice to work.

"No," Carmichael countered, "in a few minutes he will be hallucinating again, and for all we know it'll be even worse than before. We have to do what we can _when_ we can, Janet, and you know it."

"But..."

"I know you don't want to cause him any more pain," he said, his tone softening in an instant, "but this is going to hurt him no matter what we do or when we do it. I suggest that you just leave the room and let Brom and I take care of it."

"No," Janet said firmly. "I'm not leaving him again."

"Then you're going to have to either help us, or stay out of our way." His words may have been stern, but his eyes held nothing but compassion. "It's up to you."

Janet bit back a retort with great effort and simply nodded, spun on her heel, and walked back over to Daniel's bedside. He was still turned away from her, curled up into a ball with his hands over his face as he cried. "Daniel?" she said, reaching out to lightly touch his back.

Daniel flinched at the contact, and Janet quickly withdrew her hand.

"Janet."

She shot Carmichael a glare over her shoulder. "Just give me a moment."

Daniel whimpered at her sharp tone and covered his head with his arms. They served to muffle his cries of pain as muscle spasms wracked his body at even this slight movement.

Janet lost all resolve as she looked down at him. "This is ridiculous," she said, keeping her voice low so as not to frighten Daniel again. "If we wait a while, we'll be able to give him more sedative."

Carmichael sighed and rubbed his forehead. "That will be in another hour, if not two. You said you wanted him home as quickly as possible."

"I do, I..."

Carmichael rested a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Until the organisms are completely cleared out of his system, the sedative isn't going to do much anyway," he reasoned. "Let's just get this over with, okay?"

Janet took a deep breath and nodded. 'Just get it over with,' she chanted to herself. 'Just get it over with.'

She kept repeating the mantra to herself as she pried Daniel's arms away from his face. She kept on repeating it as she and Carmichael fought with him to dress him in clean scrubs. She kept it going even when his hoarse screams nearly drowned out the sound of her own thoughts.

'Almost there... just get this over with and we'll be home,' she encouraged herself as she stepped back to let Carmichael and Teal'c move Daniel onto a stretcher and strap him down. By this time, Daniel's voice was spent, and he silently allowed them to do whatever they wanted to him. His body convulsed with every movement he was forced to make, however, and the pain in his eyes was almost unbearable. 'Just get this over with,' she commanded herself. She could break down later.

She grabbed Daniel's things as Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c lifted his stretcher and carried him out of the ward. His pack was heavy and she was exhausted, so she soon found herself lagging far behind them. Part of her was glad of that - it meant she couldn't hear Daniel's groans of agony as he was jostled along.

"Do you need help with that?" asked a voice at her elbow as she stepped outside.

Janet forced a grateful smile as Dr. Flietstra took the pack from her without waiting for an answer. "Thanks, Brian."

"How are you holding up?"

Janet took a deep breath of the morning air before she answered. "I'll be fine," she said as she started walking again.

Brian walked right along beside her. "I was thankful to hear that Daniel made it through the worst," he said. "To be honest, though, I think he hates me."

She looked up at him in surprise. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, he seems to go well out of his way to avoid keeping my company," he said in a mock serious tone. "I can't count the amount of times he's pulled a miracle out of his hat just as he's realized he's about to become my responsibility. Not that I mind, of course. I'm quite happy to never see him again, if it comes right down to it."

Tears stung Janet's eyes at her friend's attempt at lightening the mood. He had such an odd sense of humour, yet his heart was so big that she couldn't help but love him anyway. She took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "I hope you never see him again, too," she said.

Brian smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "He's going to be fine, Janet. Just wait and see. He'll be as good as new before you know it."

These words weighed heavily on Janet's heart. 'Good as new?' she thought. 'That's a bit too much to hope for. "Somewhat functional" might be a more attainable goal.'

By the time the two of them reached the Stargate, Teal'c had already dialed the gate and he and Colonel O'Neill were standing on the stone dais waiting for them. "Ready, Doc?" Colonel O'Neill asked.

Janet looked Daniel over first to make sure he was okay. While she was doing so, his hand started straining against his bonds and he looked up at her anxiously as though he were trying to tell her something. "What is it, Daniel?" she asked.

He blinked his eyes hard as tears streamed down his cheeks, and he strained even harder against his restraints.

"I think he wants you to hold his hand, Doc," Colonel O'Neill said.

Janet mentally shook herself for not cluing into that on her own. "It's okay, Daniel," she said as she took his hand. "There's nothing to be afraid of. We'll be home soon."

Despite her soothing words, Daniel's eyes grew wider with panic and he gripped her hand so hard it was painful.

"I think we'd better go through before he starts flipping out again," the colonel said. He nodded to Teal'c, and the Jaffa stepped backwards through the event horizon, pulling his end of the stretcher along with him. Colonel O'Neill, Janet, and Dr. Flietstra followed right behind.

The few seconds of disorientation as she was demolecularized soon passed, and the next thing Janet knew, she was in the SGC's gateroom. Before she had a chance to completely get her bearings, however, the pain in her hand suddenly cranked up a notch. "Colonel, stop!" she cried as the pain drove her to her knees.

Daniel's panicked gasps for air soon followed. The sounds of his desperate struggle for breath echoed throughout the large concrete room as soon as the gate shut down.

All eyes were upon them as Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c set the stretcher down and tried to free Janet's hand from Daniel's viselike grip. "Can we get some help here?" the colonel called.

Two SF's immediately appeared at Janet's side, and between them they managed to open Daniel's fist enough for Janet to pull herself free. Medics soon followed, and they quickly started Daniel on oxygen, lifted the stretcher onto a gurney, and whisked him away.

Janet could only sit there in stupefied shock as Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c jogged off after them. Her hand was throbbing and her head was pounding, but every fiber of her being was screaming at her to get on her feet and follow them to the infirmary. She just couldn't do it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't muster up the energy or the will even to stand up.

"Come on, Janet," a soft voice said in her ear. "Let's get you out of here."

She allowed the person to help her to her feet and lead her down the ramp. She walked blindly alongside whoever it was out of the gateroom and down the hallway. It wasn't until they reached the elevator that she realized it was Brian who was guiding her along with his arm around her waist.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice sounding so weak and defeated that it even surprised her. "I don't know why I caved in like that."

"Well, I do," he said. "You're exhausted both physically and emotionally. You need to step back from this for a little while." He swiped his key card through the scanner by the side of the elevator, and the door swung open.

"I'm really getting sick of hearing people say that," Janet argued as he ushered her inside. "I don't need to step back. I promised Daniel I'd stay with him. Please take me to the infirmary."

Brian looked at her for a moment, and then sighed and pressed the button for Level 21.

"Thank you."

"I'm only complying because you should get your hand examined first."

Janet suppressed the urge to let out a string of expletives at the man. "Brian..."

"Doctor's orders, Janet. I want you to step back for a bit."

"You're a pathologist."

"That makes me any less a doctor?"

Janet sighed in frustration and leaned her back against the elevator wall. She didn't have the energy to argue any further. "Fine."

She didn't kick up a fuss as he took her to Dr. Warner and gave him the rundown of all that had happened to her. In fact, she ran on autopilot throughout her entire post-mission exam. She didn't feel the prick of the needle as her blood was taken, she barely acknowledged the passing of time as she waited for the results of the x-rays on her hand, and she could only just manage a tight thank you when Dr. Warner finally released her with a clean bill of health. Her brain had ceased to function along with the rest of her body, it seemed. She was living by instinct alone.

Once she was out in the hallway alone, however, the reality of the situation finally dawned on her. Daniel was going through God knew what, and she wasn't allowed to see him. She had been released from the infirmary, but that was the only place she wanted to be. She felt so alone and so helpless, and her heart ached as she thought of what Daniel must be going through.

A wave of nausea washed over her as her head began to spin at the overwhelming thoughts rushing through her mind. She stumbled into the nearest washroom just in time to lose what little food she had in her system.

"Are you alright, Dr. Fraiser?" one of her nurses called through the door of her stall.

"I'll be fine, thank you," she answered. She got to her feet and flushed the toilet as if to prove it.

Thankfully, the nurse left her alone once she came out of the stall and shuffled over to the sink. She hated being the center of attention at times like this. She washed her hands and splashed water on her face, wincing as she touched the bruise on her cheekbone. 'Damn,' she thought, 'why do I keep forgetting about that?'

She chanced a quick look in the mirror then, just to see how bad it was, and she was astounded at what she saw.

"Oh God," she breathed as she took in the ugly black eye, wildly disheveled hair, redness and swelling from all of the crying she'd been doing, and the lines of exhaustion and worry that creased her forehead and the sides of her mouth. "What a mess."

She turned her back to the mirror and slowly sank to the floor, the image of her own face draining her of the last traces of energy that she had. "Oh God," she repeated, burying her face in her hands. "What am I going to do?"

An overwhelming feeling of loss and loneliness engulfed her as her thoughts turned to Daniel. In the course of one day, she had gone from being blissfully happy in sharing her life with the man she loved to dreading seeing him again for fear that it would break her completely. She couldn't stand to see him suffering like this. She couldn't face having to care for him like she knew she was required now to do. It was all just too much for her to bear.

Her heart broken into a million pieces, Janet lay down on the cold, hard floor and wept. She wept for Daniel, who would no longer know anything but fear and torment for what little time he had left. She wept for herself, for the suffering she had witnessed and would have to witness again before long. She wept for Cassie, who had come to care for Daniel as a father and would now be losing yet another parent from her young life. She wept for SG-1, who were losing their friend and brother in such a horrible way. And she wept for their child - the child they had planned to have together but now would never be.

She cried until she had no more tears left to cry. Once she managed to pull herself together again, she picked herself up off the floor and made her way to a vacant VIP room, where she collapsed onto the bed and fell immediately into a deep sleep.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	17. Chapter 17

**Mind Fever - Chapter 17**

  
  
"Teal'c, why don't you take off, huh? You could probably do with a break."

"I am fine, O'Neill."

Jack sighed and looked down at Daniel, who was again curled up in a fetal position on his infirmary bed, shivering violently. "To be honest, Teal'c, I think you're kinda freaking him out. No offense."

Teal'c raised his eyebrow. "None has been taken. However, I..."

"Look, I know you want to stay with him, buddy. So do I. Right now, though, I think it's more important to get him calmed down. Don't you?"

Teal'c considered this for a moment. "Then should we not summon Dr. Fraiser?"

Jack winced. "Yeah, we probably should for Daniel's sake, but for hers I think it'd be best if we just left her alone for a little while."

Teal'c inclined his head in agreement. "If you truly believe that Daniel Jackson would be best served by my absence, it would be unwise of me to remain."

"Right. I'm sorry, Teal'c. I wouldn't suggest it if he wasn't..."

"I understand, O'Neill."

Jack nodded and patted Teal'c on the shoulder. He hated to do this to the guy, knowing he wanted to stick with Daniel in case he was needed or Daniel's condition worsened. If being there was causing Daniel more distress, though, it would only put more strain on his already frail body, and Jack knew the Jaffa wouldn't want that.

"I will be in my quarters if my assistance is required," Teal'c said, looking down at Daniel in fondness and concern.

"Okay. I'll send for you if there's any change."

Teal'c bowed his head, turned, and left the room.

As soon as he was gone, Jack sank wearily down into the chair by Daniel's bed. "Just you and me now, Daniel," he said quietly to the quivering mass in front of him. "Teal'c's gone, okay? You don't need to be scared anymore."

Daniel gave no sign that he'd even heard him. All Jack could see of him was his white clad back, as his legs were under the sheet and his head was buried in his arms. As soon as they had put him in this bed, he had situated himself so that he was on his side facing away from whoever was seated beside him, and he hadn't moved since.

Jack sighed and settled himself more comfortably in the chair, his legs stretched out before him and his arms crossed over his chest. He remembered spending nights like this with Charlie when he was little and was plagued with nightmares. The poor kid went a few months where he couldn't sleep a wink unless either he or Sara was in the room with him.

He closed his eyes and thumped his head against the back of the chair as he realized what he was doing. He was comparing Daniel to Charlie now? There was something so wrong about that. Daniel was a grown man, not a helpless little kid. This wouldn't last - it couldn't last. Daniel would come through it. He'd be back to being himself in no time.

The sound of movement coming from Daniel's bed suddenly grabbed his attention a moment later, and Jack cracked his eyes open to look. Daniel's head had reappeared from its hiding place, and he was slowly uncurling to a more comfortable position.

Jack winced in empathy as Daniel's movements suddenly halted and his body went stiff. He heard him give a slight whimper and knew that he was experiencing more muscle spasms. "Dammit, Daniel, every time you move," he murmured. He leaned forward and laid a gentle hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Come on, Danny, you're better off on your back for now," he said as he helped his friend turn over. "You can lie still easier that way."

Daniel gazed up at Jack with wide, fearful eyes, but allowed him to help without fighting him off.

"Hey." Jack smiled down at him, keeping his voice as soft as he could. "See? I'm not so terrible, am I?"

As Daniel continued to stare at him, Jack began to note a change coming over his face. He still seemed fearful and one step away from panic, but he did start to relax a little. There was something about his eyes that was different, too - he was studying Jack's face intently, almost as though he knew he should recognize him but couldn't quite get his thoughts together enough to figure out why.

Excited by this glimmer of hope, Jack leaned down closer to him so Daniel could see him more clearly. "You're thinking, aren't you, Daniel? I know that look. I bet your mind's going a million miles an hour trying to figure out what's happening, isn't it?"

With every word Jack spoke, Daniel seemed to calm down a little more, but the look of concentration on his face only increased in its intensity. After a few moments, his mouth began to move as though he was trying to speak.

"What?" Jack encouraged him. "Are you trying to say something?"

The distress returned to Daniel's features as he tried in vain to communicate. It was like he knew what he wanted to say, but had forgotten how to go about saying it.

"It's okay, Daniel," Jack soothed. "Just relax. Do you need something?"

Daniel was obviously fighting back a wave of panic as he tried to respond. His gaze darted frantically around the room as if he was trying to find whatever it was he wanted so badly.

Jack followed his line of sight, hoping Daniel wasn't looking for Fraiser but wanted something he could easily get for him. He looked back down at Daniel just in time to see him lick his cracked lips with a tongue that was just as dry. "Water," he said as he finally clued in. "You want water?"

Daniel looked up at him with an unspoken plea written all over his face. Translation - yes, that's exactly what he wanted. The poor guy was parched.

Jack immediately reached for the pitcher of water on the stand by Daniel's bed. He was careful to keep his movements slow and steady so he wouldn't startle him as he poured a bit of water into a cup. "Easy," he said as he slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. "I'm just gonna help you have a nice drink of water. Okay?"

Daniel watched Jack anxiously as he snaked an arm around Daniel's shoulders and propped him up into a safer position for drinking. His eyes never left Jack's face as he brought the cup to his lips and tipped a little bit of water into his mouth.

"Just sips, Daniel," Jack cautioned as Daniel swallowed the first mouthful and tried to get more. He cursed as most of it dribbled down Daniel's chin and soaked his shirt. "You're gonna get me in trouble if the doc comes in and finds you soaking wet, you know," he playfully chided as he took the cup away and grabbed a tissue to sop up some of the mess. "I hope you got some of it _in_ you." He tried to keep the mood light, but inside his heart was breaking. Had Daniel really lost the ability to just drink? He seemed to have no grasp of how to hold the liquid in his mouth before he swallowed it down.

Daniel grunted his annoyance at having the water taken away from him and Jack fussing over his wet shirt. He weakly swatted Jack away and shot him an icy glare.

Jack grinned. "Good to see you're feeling well enough to complain," he said. At another grunt and a slight shove, Jack stood up from the bed and moved back to his chair. "Okay, okay, I get the point. I'll stay over here out of your way."

Daniel watched Jack's every move as he settled himself comfortably in the chair again. He didn't seem as fearful as he was a minute earlier, but he still seemed unsure of his surroundings and of Jack himself. There was a look of vulnerability in his eyes that belonged on the face of a small child, not Daniel. It was painful to see, as Jack knew that it meant he didn't have a clue where he was, who he was, or what the people hovering around him were going to do to him.

"Go to sleep, Daniel," Jack said as he stifled a yawn.

Daniel didn't give any indication that he'd understood Jack's words. He just kept on staring at him curiously, like he was trying to figure him out.

Jack chose to ignore the man's stares and set a good example. He closed his eyes and pretended to fall asleep, hoping Daniel would follow his lead. After a few minutes of silence, Jack opened one eye a crack to see whether it had worked.

He smiled to himself as he saw Daniel lying there fast asleep with his face still turned towards him. "You're gonna be okay, Daniel," he whispered. "I know it."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Major Carter?"

Sam swung around to see one of the townspeople trotting down the road towards her. She inwardly groaned, hoping she wasn't needed for anything that would keep her on this planet any longer. "Yes?"

The man was panting hard by the time he reached her. "You are going home?" he asked between gasps for breath.

"Yes," Sam replied, "but don't worry, more of my people are staying behind to help you."

The man nodded and slipped his hand into the pocket of his coat. "I am aware," he said, "but it is you I needed to see."

"What is it?"

"I am Mika," the man replied. "I was with your friend Daniel Jackson in quarantine before he fell ill. My wife was one of the infected, also."

Sam nodded as recognition dawned. "Okay, what can I do for you?" she asked.

"I wish you to give this to Daniel Jackson," he said. He handed her a small, round token that appeared to be made of wood. A symbol resembling some kind of animal was engraved on its surface, and a piece of black cord was threaded through a hole that had been bored through its center from one side to the other. At Sam's questioning look, he explained, "It is a pendant of healing. It is sure to attract good spirits to those who wear it."

Sam's eyes teared up at the man's genuine concern for Daniel's well being. "Thank you," she said. "I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

Mika laid his hand on her arm. "I know you and your people will care for him," he said, "but I know the way the mind fever leaves those who dare to survive it. It never lets them go - it haunts them for the rest of their lives. He will need your patience and kindness if he is to live."

Sam forced a smile of thanks. "He'll have it," she said. "What about you? How is your wife doing?"

Mika sighed. "She is alive, praise the gods, but now the hard part begins. I will not abandon her."

Sam patted Mika's shoulder, touched by his unfailing devotion to his wife. "I wish you both well," she said. "Don't give up hope just yet. We're still working hard to find the solution. We may be able to help her yet."

Mika gave her a small smile. "I hope so, for Daniel Jackson's sake if no other's. My people will never forget his selflessness here."

Sam just watched in silence as the man gave her a slight bow of respect, turned, and walked back to the hospital. She was moved beyond words by his kind gesture and obvious concern for Daniel's welfare. She certainly hadn't thought that anyone would be thinking of him when their own people were still so sick.

She looked down at the pendant in her hand as she continued on her way to the Stargate. It was just the kind of thing Daniel would love, she thought. If only he was well enough to acknowledge it.

A feeling of loneliness swept over her as she approached the DHD and began dialing. It wasn't very often that she took a trip through the Stargate on her own. It felt unnatural somehow - she felt incomplete without the rest of her team. She couldn't wait to get back to them.

Once the wormhole was established, she took one last look around at the world that had done them so much wrong. She knew it was ridiculous to blame it all on the planet or its inhabitants, but she couldn't help but feel glad to be leaving this place behind. Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, she stepped through the event horizon.

"Welcome home, Major," Hammond greeted her from the base of the ramp.

"Thank you, Sir," she said. As she descended the ramp, she heard the gate shut down behind her. "How's Daniel?" she asked.

Hammond pursed his lips for a moment, which Sam knew to be a very bad sign. "As far as I know, Major, his condition is unchanged. Colonel O'Neill is with him in the infirmary now."

Sam nodded reluctant acceptance. That was more or less the answer she'd expected to hear.

"I take it you showed Colonel Dixon and his team where they were to go?"

"Yes, Sir. Lt. Satterfield and Dr. Balinsky have already begun their translation, and Dr. Lee was setting up his equipment when I left."

"Good," Hammond said. "You can head straight to the infirmary for your post-mission physical, Major. Your debriefing is in two hours."

"Yes, Sir."

Sam un-strapped her gear as she walked out of the gateroom and dropped it off in the locker room before she made her way up to the infirmary. She wasn't looking forward to seeing what kind of shape Daniel was in after going through the Stargate, yet at the same time, she wanted nothing more than to be with him and finally do what she should have been doing all along - take her turn at helping to care for him.

Dr. Warner wasted no time in getting on with her post-mission examination, so before long she was on her way to Daniel's room. She hesitated outside the door, nervously fingering the pendant in her pocket. She didn't know what to expect on the other side of that door, but the fact that the room inside was silent gave her hope that Daniel was at least resting quietly.

She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and slowly stepped inside.

The first thing she noticed was that Colonel O'Neill was fast asleep in the chair by Daniel's bed, his head tilted back and his mouth hanging open. The second thing she noticed was that Daniel was lying there wide-awake, watching the colonel intently.

She smiled softly and stepped further into the room. As soon as her presence registered with him, Daniel's gaze snapped onto her with unwavering intensity. It took Sam off-guard for a moment. These were nothing like Daniel's eyes. They were the eyes of a complete stranger.

No, she thought as she took a few more tentative steps towards him. They were Arrom's eyes. That was exactly the look Daniel had given her when they had first found him on the planet where he had descended - a look of suspicion and complete lack of recognition.

Sam shuddered at the memory and tried to keep her smile pasted on her face. "Hey, Daniel," she whispered, not wanting to wake the colonel.

Daniel watched her closely as she sat down on the edge of his bed. He didn't seem afraid of her, though he looked a little nervous about what she was going to do.

"I brought you something," she said, taking the pendant out of her pocket and holding it up for him to see. "Would you like to see it?"

Daniel's brow furrowed in concentration, and he squinted at the object in her hand as though he couldn't quite see it.

"Oh, right, you're not wearing your glasses." She inched a little closer to him and held the pendant out for him to get a better look. "Mika sent it for you," she said, though she knew the odds of him understanding were slim to none. "It's supposed to help you get better. Isn't that nice?"

She hadn't actually expected to put it on him - in fact, she didn't even know why she was bothering to show it to him - but he looked so fascinated by it that she couldn't resist. This was the Daniel she knew. This was the man who could spend hours examining the tiniest of artifacts in absolute wonder. If this little, insignificant good luck charm could bring that Daniel back to her, she'd bring him a thousand of them.

"Do you want me to put it on you?"

Daniel blinked at her as though he didn't understand.

She tried to demonstrate what she was asking by miming putting the necklace around her own neck and then pointing at Daniel. "Do you want it?"

He looked nervously at the pendant for a moment then up at Sam again. His anxiety level seemed to be increasing and his breathing began to quicken.

"It's okay," she assured him, "you don't have to. See? I'll put it away again." She slipped it back into her pocket, mentally kicking herself for showing it to him in the first place.

Daniel bit his lip and looked longingly at her hip. After a moment, he slowly reached out his hand and poked the little bulge where the pendant was hiding with his finger.

"You do want it?" Sam took it out again and held it out to him on the palm of her hand.

Daniel merely looked up at her with a very childlike expression of uncertainty on his face. Sam took the opportunity to slip the necklace into place around his neck.

"There," she said with a smile. "Now pretty soon you'll be all better." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she winced. She couldn't believe she was talking to Daniel like he was a kid, but what else could she do?

Daniel touched the round object with his fingertips. Some part of him seemed to understand what it signified, and it made Sam's heart soar. After a moment, he wriggled a little to get himself more comfortable, gave a soft sigh, and closed his eyes.

Sam smiled at the peaceful look that settled over his face as he fell asleep. "Sleep tight, Daniel," she whispered. She planted a light kiss on his forehead and took his hand.

She wasn't going anywhere.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	18. Chapter 18

**Mind Fever - Chapter 18**

  
  
_"Janet? Hellooo? Time to wake up, sleepyhead."_

"It can't be," she moaned. "I just fell asleep five minutes ago."

Daniel chuckled and turned her over onto her back. Before she could open her eyes, she felt his lips pressed against hers. "Awake yet?" he asked playfully, his words muffled against her mouth.

Janet sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his hair and deepening the kiss. "Mmm... getting there," she answered without breaking the contact.

A niggling thought at the back of her mind told her something wasn't right, but she chose to ignore it. Who cared whether it was right or not? She was safe and warm in Daniel's arms, and that was all she needed to know.

She groaned as Daniel finally pulled away from her, and she reluctantly cracked one eye open. For some reason, her other eye wouldn't open at all.

Daniel winced in empathy and touched the tender skin of her cheekbone.

Janet sucked in a breath at the pain the slight touch sent through her face.

"Sorry," he said. "Still hurts, huh?"

Janet looked up at him, confused. Yes, it hurt... but why did it hurt?

"I really didn't mean to hit you so hard," he murmured, tenderly brushing his lips over the bruised skin. "I feel so bad about it, Janet. You forgive me, though, don't you?"

She stared at him in wonder and touched his face with her fingertips to see if he was really there. He seemed to be. Why was part of her telling her that he wasn't? She gently traced lines along his jaw, over his cheek and up to his forehead, down along his nose and across his lips. His skin felt just the same as it ever did, yet something just didn't fit.

Daniel smiled down at her, clearly amused by her actions. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to figure out whether or not you're real."

His smile widened into a playful grin. "The kiss wasn't proof enough for you?"

Janet didn't return his smile. She had a very bad feeling that this was all just a dream, and that the real Daniel was in some kind of trouble. "Why do I need to forgive you?" she asked.

Daniel's face fell at this question. He took hold of the hand that was still stroking his face and kissed her fingertips. "Because I hurt you," he replied, his eyes full of sorrow. "I should never have hurt you." He began trailing soft kisses from her fingers to her wrist and along the length of her arm. "I'm so sorry," he whispered as he went along.

Even though Janet shivered with pleasure at his touch, her mind was still whirling, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Daniel," she said as the hint of a memory came forward at last, "if you hurt me... you shouldn't be here."

Daniel froze just as he was planting a kiss in the crook of her elbow. After a moment, he slowly lifted his head to look at her. "You would throw me out?" he asked anxiously.

"Of course not," she said. She pulled her hand away from his and reached up to touch the side of his face. "But if you really did this to me, you're not yourself."

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards. "Then who am I?"

"You're sick, Daniel," she said, tears springing into her eyes. "Oh God, Daniel, you've been so sick. I almost lost you!"

Daniel quickly gathered her into his arms as her tears began to fall. "Shhh, don't cry. Please don't cry," he begged as he kissed the top of her head and stroked her back. "I'm here. Everything's going to be okay."

She snuggled her face into his chest and kissed the spot where she could feel his heart beating steady and strong. "I wish this was real," she moaned. "I need you so much."

"I need you, too," he said, his voice thick with emotion as he tightened his arms around her. "I need you more than you can imagine."

"But I can't do anything!" she sobbed. "I can't help you, Daniel. I don't even know whether I can face seeing you again in the state you're in. It's too hard!"

"It won't be, Janet. You'll get through it. I promise you that. Because even though I may not be exactly as I was before, I'm still **me**. And I still love you, no matter what."

She pushed herself up to look him in the eye, and he brushed her damp hair back from her face. His gentle blue eyes looked deep into her own, and they were so full of love that it took her breath away.

"Will you remember that?" he asked.

Janet sighed and closed her eyes as he cupped her face in his hand. "I'll remember," she said.

"Good."

She opened her eyes to see a sad smile appear on his face. "I still wish I could help you," she said sorrowfully.

Daniel wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb. "You can," he said.

Janet shook her head. "There's nothing..."

"Be with me."

She stopped mid-sentence and studied him closely. "Be with you?"

His smile never wavered, but his eyes glistened with tears. "That's all you need to do, Janet. Just be with me. I need you more than anything."

She tried to reply, but found she could only nod and force a tiny smile.

"I'm never more complete than when I'm with you," he said. He then drew her back down into another passionate kiss.

Tap tap tap...

Daniel and Janet both groaned at the untimely interruption, but neither of them moved to break the contact. Janet didn't want to lose this moment just yet. She didn't want to wake up...

Tap tap tap...

"Dr. Fraiser?"

Teal'c's deep voice finally woke her up completely. With a wistful sigh, Janet stroked the empty pillow beside her. She half expected it to be warm, her dream had felt so real. It wasn't - the pillowcase was cold and wrinkle free. None of it had really happened.

"Come in, Teal'c," she called as she wiped the tears from her face and propped herself up on one elbow.

The door cracked open, and Teal'c poked his head around the side. "Dr. Fraiser," he said. "Dr. Warner has sent me to see if you are well."

"I'm fine, thank you," she said. "Come on in."

Teal'c swung the door open wider and took a few hesitant steps inside. "Is there anything you require?" he asked politely.

"No, thanks, Teal'c. How long has it been since we got back?"

"It has been four hours."

"Four hours?" Janet rubbed her good eye wearily. "It feels like I just laid down a minute ago."

"You have been under much strain," Teal'c said, his voice gentle and sympathetic. "You must rest. I have been summoned to a debriefing with General Hammond, but I will come again once I am able." He turned to go, but Janet called him back.

"Teal'c, wait."

He turned back to face her and tilted his head as he waited for her to speak.

"You said you're going to a debriefing?"

"That is correct."

"Is all of SG-1 going?"

"O'Neill will remain with Daniel Jackson," he said in answer to her unspoken question.

"Good," she said, relieved. She hated the thought of Daniel being left alone.

"Now I must allow you to rest," Teal'c said again.

"No," Janet said, climbing out of the bed and rising unsteadily to her feet. "I need to call Cassie and go sit with Daniel for a while."

"There is no need. O'Neill is caring for Daniel Jackson, and General Hammond has informed Cassandra of the situation. You must rest."

Janet did a perfect imitation of a goldfish as she tried to think of what to say to this. "General Hammond spoke to Cassie?"

"Indeed. She was most concerned when she heard no word from you, and called the SGC in hope that she would find you. General Hammond spoke with her and assured her that you were well."

"And he told her about Daniel?" Janet asked with a shaky voice.

"I believe so, yes."

Janet winced as she thought of how worried the poor girl must be. Still, she didn't really feel up to handling her daughter's raw emotions just yet. She could barely handle her own. "Do you happen to know how she took the news?" she asked.

"I do not."

Janet nodded. As soon as she felt up to it, she'd have to give Cassie a call and do a little damage control.

"Now I must go," Teal'c said, again moving for the door. "I am sorry to have disturbed you."

"That's okay, Teal'c. I didn't mean to be away from Daniel this long anyway." She went to follow him, but Teal'c shot her a disapproving look that stopped her in her tracks. She sighed. "Teal'c, I know I shouldn't, but... I _have_ to be with him."

As soon as she said the words, the echo of Daniel's voice from her dream resounded in her ear. She _did_ have to be with him, for both of their sakes.

Teal'c studied her closely for a moment, seeming to consider the pros and cons of allowing her to leave her room. Finally, he wordlessly held the door open for her to pass by him.

"Thank you," she said as she exited the room.

Teal'c accompanied her to the elevator and pushed the button for the infirmary level. He was silent throughout the short trip, but when the door swung open he said quietly, "Please take care."

Janet smiled and nodded as she stepped out into the hallway. She saw him incline his head respectfully just before the door closed again.

She then took a deep breath and made her way down the hall. She didn't know specifically which room Daniel was in, but after poking her head into each room along the way, she finally found him.

"Doc, what are you doing here?" Colonel O'Neill said as he saw her in the doorway and got up from his chair.

"It's good to see you, too, Colonel," she said, keeping her voice quiet so she wouldn't disturb Daniel as he slept.

"You know what I mean. You should be in bed."

"So should you, Sir."

He seemed to take the hint at that, as he rolled his eyes and offered her his chair.

Janet declined, instead perching herself on the edge of Daniel's bed. "How is he doing?" she whispered.

Colonel O'Neill sat back down with a sigh. "He's been sleeping on and off. Carter was here for a while. He seemed okay with her."

"That's good."

"Yeah. He's had some nightmares, though."

Janet gave him a questioning look. "Nightmares?"

"Yeah. Every now and then he goes all stiff and starts panting like he's terrified of something. He tosses his head back and forth and mutters a lot, too. Then he wakes up kinda disoriented and freaked out, and it takes us a couple minutes to calm him down again."

Janet's heart ached at hearing this. She had hoped Daniel could at least have a few hours of restful sleep. "Has he been sedated?"

Colonel O'Neill nodded. "Doc Baker tried that, but it just seemed to knock him out, not stop him from dreaming."

Janet gave a heavy sigh and looked down at Daniel lovingly. She wished she could take all of this away from him, but as he had told her in her dream, all she could do was be with him through it. She was determined to do no less.

She took his hand in both of hers and tenderly stroked his fingers, marveling as she often did at how attractive his hands were. Despite the manual work he did every day as an archaeologist and intergalactic explorer, they were always soft and well cared for. Whenever they touched her, she could feel his love for her as well as if he'd bottled it and sprinkled it over her like a gentle rain. She knew firsthand how strong and powerful they could be - even destructive - but his touch was so light that you'd never know it. She loved his hands. To see them lying limply by his sides, his wrists swathed in bandages where his bonds had broken his skin, was heartbreaking.

"Oh, Daniel," she sighed, lifting his hand to rest against her cheek.

"You okay?"

She closed her eyes and stroked Daniel's arm, careful to avoid touching any of his sores as she did so. "I'm fine," she answered the colonel's question. It was more a polite answer than the truth, but she didn't feel like pouring her heart out to anyone just now.

"Want me to leave the two of you alone?"

She opened her eyes then to give Colonel O'Neill an appreciative smile. "Thank you, Sir, but that's not necessary," she said. "I know you want to stay with him, too."

He nodded and settled back into his chair, giving her a sliver of privacy by leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

Janet turned her attention back onto Daniel, noting the tense look that had suddenly come over his face. A lump rose in her throat as she realized he must be heading into another nightmare. She raised his hand to her lips and kissed it, willing her love to break through to him and ease his troubled thoughts.

It wasn't enough. Within moments he was panting hard and thrashing about, whimpering and muttering words she couldn't understand. She stroked the side of his face and murmured encouraging words to him, but he only grew more and more distressed.

Colonel O'Neill's eyes popped open as soon as he realized what was going on, and he leaned forward in his seat as though he was ready to jump into action. This made Janet feel better, but she hoped it wouldn't be required.

Suddenly, Daniel's eyes opened wide, and he looked frantically around the room as he tossed his head from side to side. When his gaze focused on Janet, he gave a loud cry and lurched violently to get away from her. Before she knew what was happening, his hand was ripped from her grasp, and he fell from the bed with a loud crash.

It happened so quickly that for a moment Janet just sat there in shock, staring at the place where he had just been. At a shout from Colonel O'Neill, however, she leaped to her feet and skirted around to the other side of the bed.

Daniel was lying unconscious on the floor, a pool of blood slowly spreading out from under his head.  
  


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To be continued...


	19. Chapter 19

**Mind Fever - Chapter 19**

  
  
"You have _got_ to be kidding me!" Jack snapped at Dr. Warner. "What is this, Murphy's Law? What the hell else can happen to him in the course of one day?" He calmed himself down at the sound of a stifled sob coming from behind him. He turned to give Fraiser an apologetic look. "Sorry, Doc."

She nodded without taking her eyes off Daniel. She was in the exact position she had been before Daniel's little tumble, sitting on the edge of his bed with his hand in hers and stroking his arm almost absent-mindedly. The situation was now far worse than it had been ten minutes earlier, though.

"I feel terrible about this, Colonel," Dr. Warner said. He looked absolutely defeated as he looked down at Daniel, rubbing his forehead wearily. "I should have insisted on restraints after his nightmares began."

Jack couldn't dispute this. He should have agreed to Warner's initial hint that the restraints might be a good idea, but he'd seen Daniel tied up enough for one lifetime. He'd thought he could handle whatever reaction Daniel had when he woke up. He'd been wrong.

In order to hide his own guilt, Jack steered the conversation onto a slightly different track. "Okay, so level with me here. How bad?"

Dr. Warner sighed. "I really don't know, Colonel. I'll be taking him for a CT scan shortly. Once those results come back, we'll know more about the extent of the injury. I don't anticipate finding any kind of skull fracture, but I'm a bit concerned that the force of the blow may have aggravated the damage already done to his brain by the mind fever."

"How long is he likely to be out?"

Warner shook his head gravely. "It's impossible to tell at this point, Sir. With the amount of damage that his brain has undergone already... frankly, I'm amazed he's made it this far. I'm afraid there's a real possibility that he will never come out of this coma. His body is just not strong enough to recover from something like this."

Jack gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. This wasn't happening... it couldn't be happening...

He watched as Fraiser reached out a hand to adjust the bandage around Daniel's head, tucking a loose edge under the otherwise tightly wound material so she could better see his eyes. Not that seeing them made any difference. They were firmly closed, and might be forever.

"Colonel?"

Jack shuddered when she spoke. Her voice was so tight and... small. He admired her for taking this whole thing so well, but he could tell she was only just managing to hold herself together. "Yeah?" he said, stepping closer to her.

"I noticed this a few minutes ago, but wasn't able to ask... what is this?" She fingered the charm that still hung around Daniel's neck.

"Carter brought it back from the planet," Jack said. "She said some guy there sent it as a gift for him. It's supposed to heal him or something." 'And we can all see how well it's working,' he added to himself.

"That was kind of him," Fraiser whispered, stroking Daniel's jaw with the backs of her fingers.

Jack flinched and looked away. He couldn't stand to watch such a tender show of affection between them. It made the reality of the situation hit him all the harder.

The sound of rapid footsteps soon turned his attention towards the door.

"My God, what happened?" Carter burst out as she rushed into the room.

"He fell out of the bed," Jack said matter-of-factly. "Practically split his head open in the process. He's in a coma."

"What?" Carter looked as shocked and numb as Jack felt. "But..."

"Yeah. I know." Jack took a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders to try to release some of the tension. "How'd the debriefing go?"

Carter seemed to snap back to reality at this question, and her eyes grew wide for a second. "Fine, Sir. Janet? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Fraiser did a double take at the sound of her name. "Sure," she said. With one last, lingering look at Daniel, she slowly stood up and released his hand. She laid it gently down beside him before she followed Carter to the other side of the room.

Jack looked over his shoulder to where Warner had just been, but the doctor had obviously scooted off as soon as he got the opportunity. Jack couldn't blame him. He hadn't exactly been polite to the guy the whole time they'd been back.

He plopped down into his chair beside Daniel and studied his friend closely. He just looked like he was sleeping to him. Surely they had it wrong, and he'd just wake up as soon as he'd had enough rest. Part of him felt like shaking him and yelling at him to wake the hell up. He'd do anything if it meant bringing him back to the land of the living.

After a moment or two, he glanced over at Carter and Fraiser to see what they were doing. His gut lurched when he saw that Fraiser had a hand pressed tightly to her mouth, obviously trying hard not to cry, and Carter had a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. What did Carter have to say to Fraiser that was so secretive and painful for Fraiser to hear?

Maybe he didn't want to know.

A minute later, Fraiser made her way back to Daniel's bed and wordlessly returned to her former position beside him. She seemed to be going on autopilot, her eyes trained on Daniel yet not actually seeing anything.

"What did she want to tell you?" he asked.

When Fraiser didn't answer, he turned to look over at Carter and saw that she was just leaving the room. He jumped to his feet and jogged after her.

"Hey," he said when he caught up to her, "what just happened in there? What did you tell Fraiser that made her so upset?"

Carter looked uncomfortable for a moment before she spoke. "Sir... General Hammond has authorized me to contact the Tok'ra and ask if they can help."

Jack found he could only stare at her dumbfounded for a few moments. The Tok'ra? How could they even consider it after what they'd done to him? "No way," he said as soon as his voice returned. "No way in hell. They'd just stick a snake in his head, and you know it."

"Colonel..."

"No!"

"They didn't even suggest that when he was dying from radiation."

Jack refused to see that as a valid point. "No, because he was too far-gone even for _them_ to fix," he said.

"They can do amazing things with Goa'uld healing devices, Sir. I think it's worth a shot."

He gave her a dark look as he tried to think of something positive that could come out of this. He came up empty. "You know they'll jump at the chance to turn Daniel into one of them, Carter," he said, his voice low with barely-contained anger. "With all his skills and knowledge, and his repressed memories of being ascended..."

"Sir, right now Daniel doesn't have _any_ memories, ascended or otherwise. I honestly don't think the Tok'ra would suggest implantation unless it was his only chance at survival, no matter how much they may or may not want him as a host."

Jack flinched at the words "implantation" and "host." They brought back some of the most unpleasant memories of his life, and he would be damned if he'd stand back and allow the same thing to happen to Daniel as happened to him.

"When it comes right down to it, Sir," Carter continued in a tone that showed she was just as disturbed by the thought as he was, "it's Janet's decision."

"And?"

"And... she agreed to go along with whatever they suggest for him."

Jack let out a deep sigh and covered his eyes with his hand. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It took all of his strength just to keep from yelling his head off or putting his fist through a wall. "Fine," he finally forced himself to say. "But one word about snakin' him, and I'll..."

"Yes, Sir," Carter cut in quickly. She gave him a respectful nod and headed for the elevator.

Jack sighed and went back to Daniel's room. He was so not going to enjoy this. Having Tok'ra around always spelled trouble.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"How's it coming, Dr. Lee?"

Bill looked up from the mysterious instrument he was studying to see Airman Wells walking towards him. "Uh... I haven't exactly made any significant findings yet," he answered, "but it's... coming. For example, I've ruled out the possibility of any of these devices being some kind of funky Ancient weapons or something." He twitched a smile at the airman, but his attempt at humour fell flat on its face.

"So, nothing that can help Dr. Jackson yet, huh?"

Bill shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid not, no. That doesn't mean it's not here, though. I mean we've only been here a few hours..."

"Looks like it's now or never, boys," Colonel Dixon announced as he entered the structure. "And... lady," he added, nodding to Lt. Satterfield.

"Why is that, Colonel?" she asked.

"I just had a word with Hammond," Dixon replied. "He says Dr. Jackson's had a turn for the worse, and they contacted the Tok'ra. They answered right away, so by now... he might already have been snaked."

Bill felt his stomach fall down into his shoes at this comment. Daniel? A Tok'ra? "He... he'd never agree to that," he stammered. "Would he?"

"He won't have much choice in the matter," the colonel said, his tone somehow managing to sound both apathetic and concerned. "He's in a coma."

Bill swallowed hard and looked down at his shoes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Daniel becoming a host... that was so _permanent_. He'd hoped he and the others could find some way to help him, and he'd thought they had more time than this to find it. Daniel had saved his life when they'd been kidnapped in Honduras - he wanted so badly to return the favour now.

"So," Dixon said after a moment of grave silence, "if any of you think you're close to finding something here, tell me now. There might still be time to get back to Hammond and tell him to hold things off for a little while." He scanned the other faces in the room, but no one spoke up. "Best get back to work, then," he said.

Bill watched as the colonel went back outside to leave them to work in peace. "Daniel a Tok'ra?" he murmured in disbelief.

"We don't know that," Satterfield said, the thought seeming to leave her with a bitter taste in her mouth. "They could just as easily heal him with one of their healing devices."

"Oh yeah, like they did before he ascended?" Balinsky said, finally breaking his silence. His voice was full of doubt and despair. Bill knew how much he'd always looked up to Daniel, and how hard he had been working to translate the writings in this place in case they could help him.

"They could have helped him then," Satterfield said, "he just..."

"He _chose_ to ascend," Bill cut in. "They could have healed him, but he told them not to. I'm betting that wouldn't be the case this time." He turned to Satterfield. "You're right, Lisa. I can't imagine Colonel O'Neill allowing them to implant Daniel with a symbiote after what happened to him with Kanan. They must have some other way of helping him."

That seemed to bring the conversation to an end, for which Bill was grateful. It was time they all got back to work anyway.

With a sigh, he returned to his examination of the alien instrument. They still had time. They'd find what they were looking for. He didn't doubt it for a second.  
  


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To be continued...


	20. Chapter 20

**Mind Fever - Chapter 20**

  
  
Janet felt like she'd forgotten how to breathe. She seemed to be trapped in some kind of waking memory, and it just happened to be the memory of the most painful moment of her life.

General Hammond, Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c, Sam, and Jacob Carter were all gathered around Daniel's bed, gazing down at him with identical grave expressions on their faces. It made her want to scream.

"We do have one among us who will soon be in need of a new host," Jacob was telling her. His tone was full of sympathy, but it didn't make his words any easier to swallow. "I know it's not an idea you're particularly fond of, but it _is_ Daniel's best chance at this point."

Janet nodded, but it wasn't a nod of agreement. To her mind, that was only a last resort. "What's option number two?"

Jacob didn't miss a beat. "Option number two is trying the healing device. I can't guarantee it'll work, but I'm willing to try my best."

"Then that's what we'll do."

He nodded and made a half-turn towards Sam. He blinked once in surprise when he saw that she was already holding the device out to him. "Thanks, kid," he said, his tone implying that he understood exactly why she had it there so quickly. She'd been hoping that would be the course of action he would take.

Janet's feeling of déjà vu grew more intense as Jacob slipped the device onto his hand. He held it over Daniel's head, closed his eyes, and the device began to glow as Janet became lost in a memory...

_"His condition is grave. I do not know if I can save him, and even if I can, I do not believe I can restore him to his full healthy state."_

Janet couldn't even reply to this statement. She knew it was her job to say something, do something, give an order, make a demand... all she could do was stare at him and try not to cry. Try not to scream.

"Do what you can."

Sam was the one who said what Janet was supposed to say. Why? Why was Janet unable to speak? Why couldn't she open her stupid mouth and say, "Save him! Whatever it takes, I need you to save him, dammit! I've done all I can do, and I'm damned if I'm going to stand here and watch him die!"

"It's pretty bad."

Jacob's words snapped Janet back to the present with a start. "Can you help him?"

He sighed and rubbed his forehead as he tried to find the right words to say. "I might be able to help him, but you of all people must know how tricky this is gonna be. I mean, this is the brain we're talking about here. It's the most delicate, intricate organ in the body. I'm a little nervous to even try this."

"Is it likely to kill him?" Janet asked anxiously.

"I doubt it would go quite that far, but if I direct the beam at the same portion of his brain for a fraction of a second too long, I could do more harm than good. It could literally affect his brain like a Goa'uld ribbon device would and fry the brain cells rather than heal them. I've never done anything like this before and neither has Selmak, so I really have no idea how easy it would be to make a mistake like that."

Janet bit her lip as she considered the pros and cons of the situation. If Jacob didn't try this, Daniel had almost no chance of ever being anything more than a vegetable. If he tried it and failed, Daniel really wouldn't be any worse off. If he tried it and succeeded, chances were good that she'd get her Daniel back at last.

And then there was option number one.

"I trust you," she said after a moment of tense silence had passed. "Do it."

Jacob nodded and took a deep breath. Then he steeled himself and held the device over Daniel's head once again.

Every eye in the room was trained upon Daniel's face as Jacob worked. They were all watching for some change - anything to show them it was working.

They were all disappointed.

After only a few seconds, Jacob shut the device off and let his hands fall to his sides. "That is as much as I can safely do for now," Selmak said, making his first appearance since Jacob had arrived. "His brain simply could not endure the beam for any longer without furthering the damage."

Janet forced a tiny smile to show her appreciation. "That's fine," she said. "I understand. You are able to help him, though?"

"I believe this could work, yes," Selmak replied. "However, a lot of damage has been done. It will take a long time to heal with such short sessions. I am afraid I cannot stay long enough to do it myself, but I believe I could teach Sam how to continue the treatments if you have no objections."

Janet glanced at Sam, who was staring at her father with wide eyes.

"Me?" Sam said in disbelief. "I'm, uh... I don't think I can..."

"Sam." Her name was said in Jacob's voice, and it calmed her down immediately. "I know what happened when you tried this on Daniel before. Believe me, I wouldn't put you in this position if I thought you couldn't do it."

"But, Dad, you said a minute ago that you were afraid of doing more harm than good!"

"It's not as difficult as I thought it would be," he said. "I could tell right away when I needed to stop. You'll do fine."

"Please, Sam," Janet said. Her voice broke on the words despite her struggle to keep herself calm.

Sam looked at Janet, back at her father, and then down at Daniel. She looked tired, determined, hopeful, and scared all at once.

"Okay," she finally agreed. "Tell me what I need to do."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Hold the device over his forehead. That's right. Now, close your eyes and concentrate on your desire to heal him. Picture his brain in your mind's eye, and let your instincts tell you where to focus the beam. That's it. You're doing great, Sam."

Sam deactivated the device and opened her eyes again. She looked down at Daniel in amazement. "You're right, Dad, that was much different from anything else I've tried to do with this thing."

"Did you see the extent of the damage?" he asked.

Sam winced. "It's so bad," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "Are you sure I'm going to be able to fix this?"

"You'll do just fine," he said, laying a reassuring arm across her shoulders. "I'd suggest you wait two or three days before you give him another treatment, just to be on the safe side. Other than that, just use your own judgment on how much you feel you can do during each session."

Sam bit her lip as she listened to her father's words, trying to hold back from arguing with him. He had way too much faith in her abilities, in her opinion. He was her father, after all. Naturally he'd feel she could do anything she set her mind to. Realistically, though... that was another matter. "I've never been able to use this thing properly before," she said. "Well, except for that time with Chronus, but I think that was a fluke more than anything else."

"Exactly," her father said. "You were able to heal Chronus because you _had_ to heal him. You'll be able to heal Daniel because it's up to you to save his life. That's the bottom line, Sam. No pressure," he added, giving her a playful nudge.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Right. Thanks a lot."

"You can do this, Sam. Jolinar left you with that much. Trust me. Trust yourself."

Sam sighed and nodded. "Someone among the Tok'ra will be available to help if something goes wrong, though, right?" she asked in uncertainty.

"Of course," he assured her. "But nothing will go wrong. Not if you concentrate and trust your instincts."

'Enough of the wimp routine already,' she told herself. 'He's right - I can do this.'

"I'll try," she said.

Her father wrapped his arms around her and gave her a gentle squeeze. "I know you will," he said.

Sam returned the embrace as she felt some of his strength seep into her through his comforting arms. No matter how old she got, he never failed to make her feel as safe and loved as he had when she was a little girl. "Thanks, Dad."

He soon released her and rubbed her arms fondly as he stepped back. Then he turned to Janet, who had been standing silently on the other side of Daniel's bed the entire time. "Janet?" he said, trying to get her attention.

Janet tore her gaze away from Daniel to look up at him. "Yes, thank you, General," she said.

"I've told you before to call me Jacob," he said. He held his hand out to her, stretching his arm over Daniel's bed. "And you're welcome."

Janet took his hand and forced a smile. "I really do appreciate your coming here so quickly to help him."

"Anytime," he said, giving her hand a squeeze. "I want to see him well again as much as the next person."

Janet nodded and pulled her hand away again. Then she sat down by Daniel's side, laying one hand on his arm and stroking his hair with the other.

Sam made a motion for her father to follow her a few steps away from them. She had a feeling that Janet wanted nothing more than to be left alone with Daniel for a while. "When will you be going back?" she asked.

"I should probably go now," he replied. "I've told you all you need to know. There's really nothing more I can do."

Sam gave him a tearful smile. "Thanks again, Dad," she said. "You have no idea how much this means to all of us. This whole situation has just been..."

"I know, Sam. It'll be over soon, just wait and see."

Sam nodded, though she still held a few doubts deep down inside. "Want me to walk you back to the Stargate?" she asked.

"I'd like that," he said. He linked her arm through his, and the two of them left Daniel and Janet alone in peace.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

As soon as the Carters left the infirmary, Janet breathed a deep sigh of relief. It wasn't that she hated their company, she was just glad to be alone with Daniel for the first time in a very long time, as Colonel O'Neill had finally been convinced to go lie down in an actual bed.

Jacob had managed to heal Daniel's head wound somewhat, so his head was no longer swathed in bandages. His sores had also been partially healed, and while the skin on his wrists was still raw from the restraints, they didn't need the bandages anymore, either. He was looking much better than he had looked a few hours previously.

Janet lifted his hand and wrapped it around her own, and then leaned down to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. She smiled when the story of Sleeping Beauty came to her mind. If only her kiss could awaken her Prince Charming. Unfortunately, it didn't quite work that way.

Or did it?

To her surprise, Daniel sighed and turned his head to the side. His eyelids flickered, though they didn't open, and the hand she held twitched ever so slightly.

That was not typical comatose behaviour.

"Daniel?" she said, leaning down closer to him. She stroked the side of his face and patted his cheek lightly. "Daniel, wake up."

He made a soft sound that was almost a grunt, and his eyelids flickered for a brief moment.

Janet almost jumped into the air in excitement, but settled for just inching forward in her seat instead. "Daniel?" she said a little louder. "Daniel, please wake up. It's me; it's Janet. You've got to wake up now, okay?"

No reaction.

"Daniel, please!" she said, an edge of desperation creeping into her tone. "You have to wake up now. You have to be okay." She patted his cheek again, this time a bit harder than before. "Please, Daniel."

He flinched at her touch and turned his face away from her.

Janet smiled and grabbed hold of his chin. "Oh, no you don't," she said. "You're going to open your eyes and look at me whether you like it or not."

The eyelids flickered again, and Janet saw a flash of blue before they closed once more.

"That's it," she encouraged him. "Open them, Daniel. Come on, sweetheart. Open your eyes and look at me."

His brow furrowed in distress and his lower lip protruded slightly in what could only be described as a pout. Janet thought she'd never seen anything more beautiful in her life.

"Daniel?"

One eye finally cracked open and glanced around in disorientation before it finally homed in on Janet's face.

Janet's smile widened. "That's it," she said. "There's one, now how about the other?"

Daniel scowled at her for a moment in such a way that Janet wasn't sure whether he understood her words or not. Then his eyelid seemed to grow too heavy for him to lift, and it started to flutter again.

"It's okay, Daniel," Janet said, stroking his hair and giving him an encouraging smile. "I guess that was enough for now. You deserve a rest."

He seemed to be trying to keep his eye open, but it finally closed completely, and he fell into a deep sleep.

Janet was so relieved she almost passed out. "Thank God you're alright," she breathed as she laid her head down next to his on his pillow.

After a moment she draped her arm around him and massaged the back of his neck with her hand. "I love you so much, Daniel," she whispered. She lifted her head just long enough to press a feather-light kiss to his lips; then she laid it down again with her forehead snuggled against him.

It wasn't long before she, too, drifted off to sleep, hope for his full recovery acting like a sedative to her system.  
  


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To be continued...


	21. Chapter 21

**Mind Fever - Chapter 21**

  
  
"Has he woken up at all since yesterday?" Sam asked quietly.

"Only long enough for Doc Baker to shine that stupid light in his eyes," Colonel O'Neill said, shooting a glare at the doctor in question. "No wonder he's been out ever since. It probably shocked him back into a coma."

"He's not in a coma, Colonel," Janet said almost automatically from her seat by Daniel's side. "He's just asleep."

"Then why don't we just wake him up?"

Janet shot him a glare that could melt ice. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that, Sir."

"Just asking," he muttered.

Janet sighed. She was exhausted, her head was still thumping from the day before, and she had just gotten off the phone with her frantic teenaged daughter. She really wasn't in the mood for this. "I apologize, Colonel. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. What I mean to say is, his body has been through an awful lot these past two days, and he's going to need a lot of time to recover. That means a lot of sleep and, dare I say it, peace and quiet." She gave the other members of SG-1 a pointed glare that communicated the rest of her statement - go away.

"Hey, I was quiet as a mouse until Carter walked in asking questions."

"You could have just given a yes or no answer, Sir," Sam countered in indignation.

"Well, next time I will!"

Janet couldn't hold back her smile at their banter. Everything really did seem to be getting back to normal.

She looked down at Daniel and stroked his cheek, something that had become a sort of reflex action for her every time she'd seen his sweet, peaceful face over the past few hours. She noted with joy that he was getting some healthy colour back in his face, and his breathing was deep and even. Yes, things were definitely looking up. If only Daniel was awake and free of hallucinations, she felt she could finally put this nightmare behind her.

"Dr. Fraiser is right," Dr. Baker said, interrupting Colonel O'Neill and Sam's continued bickering. "I think it's time you all leave. Dr. Jackson needs his rest."

Janet stifled a laugh at the dumbstruck look that came over the colonel's face.

"We'll be quiet. We promise," Sam said, giving Dr. Baker her most winning smile.

"I'm sorry, Major," he said. "You had your chance. It's time for you to leave."

She and Colonel O'Neill both grumbled and complained as they were ushered to the door, but Dr. Baker didn't give in. Even Teal'c, who had been standing off to the side of the room in complete silence, wasn't allowed to stay.

"You're ruthless," Janet teased as Dr. Baker came back over to Daniel's bed.

He rolled his eyes. "I hate to say this, but it's _me_ that needed the peace and quiet. Colonel O'Neill means well, but he gets mouthy when he's concerned about someone."

Janet smiled and nodded. "You won't make them stay away for long, though, will you?"

"Are you kidding? Any more than an hour, and they'll be breaking down the door."

Janet laughed and watched as Baker moved back to the other side of the room to gather up the paperwork he'd been working on. "Are you leaving, too?" she asked.

"Yeah, I've got just a couple things I need to do then I'll be back. Shouldn't take me more than half an hour." He held up the files in his hand. "Gotta love paperwork."

"Tell me about it," Janet said.

"You know what to do if there's any change," he said as he walked to the door.

"Of course," Janet replied. "See you later."

He waved over his shoulder to her as he left the room.

Janet sighed and turned her attention back to Daniel. It felt good to smile and laugh again, but she was still very much concerned about him. Without even thinking about it, she started stroking his face again. She smiled when she realized what she was doing, and a feeling of warmth spread through her entire body when Daniel sighed at the gentle touch.

As much as she wanted to continue touching him, she didn't want to disturb his sleep. She reluctantly withdrew her hand and sat back in her chair, contenting herself with simply watching him.

She thought about her conversation with Cassie as she did so, and what she had told the girl to ease her mind...

_"He's been pretty sick, Cass, but I think he's out of the woods now."_

"So, he's gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I don't see why not. After all, you know Daniel. He's nothing if not resilient. Besides that, he promised me he'd hang in there, and you know Daniel's never one to break a promise."

She had said it half in jest, just a passing comment to lighten the mood, but they were words she fully believed. Once Daniel made a promise, he'd move heaven and Earth to keep it. She knew he was going to pull through. It was just the way he was.

After ten minutes or so of being lost in thought, Janet snapped to attention at a slight move from Daniel. She leaned forward and watched him closely as he slowly rolled over onto his side to face her. His eyes remained closed, but she could see that he was slowly waking up.

"Daniel?" she said, smoothing his hair back from his forehead.

He stiffened at the sound of her voice and turned his head slightly to bury his face in his pillow.

"It's okay, Daniel. You're safe," she said. She laid a hand on his shoulder and with the other took hold of his chin. "Don't be frightened," she soothed as she tried to coax his face out of hiding.

He allowed her to move his head a little, until one eye peeked out at her from the pillow.

Janet smiled at him. "Hey, there," she said. "Welcome back."

"What?"

Janet's heart soared at this one small, slurred word. It was the first coherent thing he'd said since before they'd brought him home. This was major progress.

"Do you know your name?" she asked, though part of her was afraid to say it in case he didn't understand.

She held her breath as Daniel slowly brought his whole face into view, blinking up at her with wide, confused eyes. She thought for a moment that he wasn't going to answer, that he hadn't understood, but then...

"Daniel Jackson."

She had never been so happy to hear that name spoken in her entire life.

He seemed a little nervous at the grin that spread across her face at his answer, so she forced herself to tone it down to a gentle smile again. "That's good," she said, giving his shoulder an encouraging squeeze. "And where are you now?"

Daniel glanced at the hand that rested on his shoulder and looked back up at Janet warily.

Janet was a little concerned by this, and she drew her hand back as fast as if she'd touched a hot potato.

Daniel swallowed nervously and licked his lips. His eyes squinted in concentration as his gaze darted around the room. "Infirmary," he finally said in answer to her question.

Janet inwardly did a dance of joy. He remembered the infirmary! That was more than she'd dared to hope for, at least at first. "Good!" she enthused. "You're doing great, Daniel. Now who am I?"

He studied her for a moment before he replied, "Dr. Fraiser."

Janet felt like she'd taken a fist to the stomach. 'Dr. Fraiser?' He hadn't called her that since... well, since the early days of the Stargate program. She'd told him over and over again to call her Janet, just as he had at first insisted she call him Daniel, but it had taken him over a year to finally see her as more than just his doctor - to see her as his friend. Since then, he had only used her salutation in formal situations or, more recently, as a pet name in some of their more intimate moments.

Something told her he wasn't using it as a pet name this time.

"Wha's going on?" he drawled, the fear in his eyes increasing at her sudden silence.

"Daniel... what year is it?"

He looked off into space for a long moment, obviously thinking hard about this. His breathing quickened until it bordered on hyperventilation as he struggled to find the answer. "I... I don't know," he said in a shaky voice. "Nine... nineteen... ninety-seven? No... ninety... what? I can't 'member. Wha's happening?"

Janet pressed the call button by his bed as he began to work himself up into a full-blown panic attack. "Shhh, Daniel, just calm down, okay?" she said, shoving her own inner pain aside as she tried to reassure him. "Everything's going to be fine. You've been ill, that's all. Your memory's a little foggy."

"Foggy?" he repeated, his eyes rolling back and forth as though he were dizzy. "Wha's happening to me?"

Dr. Baker rushed in at that moment, slowing down when he saw that Daniel was awake. Daniel's attention was upon the man the moment he entered the room, and the sight of him seemed to make his panic escalate. He grabbed Janet's arm and clung to her like a frightened child as he gasped for air.

"Daniel, settle down," Janet said, but he didn't even seem to hear her. She got up from her chair and sat on the edge of his bed so he wouldn't be pulling so much on her arm. As soon as she did so, Daniel let out a sob and buried his face in her lap, his fists clutching at her pant legs and accidentally - she assumed - catching flesh.

Janet bit back a yelp at the pain this caused, and tried to focus on calming him down. She stroked his back with one hand, massaged the back of his neck with the other, and murmured soft, soothing words to him, but still he sobbed and trembled and fought to breathe. She looked up at Dr. Baker piteously and nodded when he mimed his question of whether or not she wanted him sedated. She had really been hoping he would be past this by the time he woke up, but at least this time the sedative would give him some relief now that the organisms were clearing out of his system.

Baker quickly readied a syringe with the drug and tentatively approached the sobbing man, but he made a hopeless motion with his hands and pointed at the IV line. Janet knew immediately what he was trying to tell her - Daniel was lying on his IV, and they had no idea whether it had been pulled out of him or not.

"Daniel?" Janet said, cupping her hand under his chin and trying to pull him up out of her lap. "We need to give you some medicine, okay? It'll help you relax."

"No!" Daniel cried, though he didn't move a muscle. "Hurts!"

"What hurts?"

Daniel gulped in a few breaths of air before he spoke. "Everything!"

It finally dawned on Janet when she felt how tense his back muscles were under her hand. His sudden movement must have set off a chain reaction of muscle spasms again.

"Okay, Daniel, it's alright," she murmured as she took up stroking his back again and running her fingers through his hair. "It's just muscle spasms. It'll pass. Just try to relax."

"Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" he cried in agony.

Janet raised her hands in the air, his cries sending pain straight through her heart. She made a beckoning motion to Dr. Baker and indicated for him to inject the sedative directly into Daniel's arm.

He took a few steps closer, but Daniel seemed to realize what they were trying to do. He suddenly sat up and pushed Janet away from him so hard that she almost fell to the floor. Thankfully, she got her legs under her in time to break her fall.

"Daniel, calm down!" she ordered, but Daniel was already swinging his arms at Dr. Baker to hold him off.

"Stay away from me!" he shouted, his eyes wild with fright. "Somebody help! He's trying to kill me!!"

Once Janet had regained her balance, she held out a hand to Baker and he took a few steps back, still holding the needle. "Daniel," she said, taking his face in her hands and turning it so he was looking at her. "No one is trying to kill you. We're trying to help you."

_"YOU!"_

Janet drew back from him with a start when she saw the anger and hatred that burned in his eyes. The only time she could remember him looking that dangerous and out of control was the moment he had broken out of his restraints and thrown her over his infirmary bed during his sarcophagus withdrawal. It made her blood freeze in her veins with fear. "Daniel? It's just me... Dr. Fraiser. Don't be afraid."

"You did this to me." His voice had adopted the low tone that Janet knew meant trouble.

"Did... did what? You've been sick..."

"You've killed me!" he cried, the sudden increase in volume making both doctors jump. He yanked out his IV and all the other wires that he could find attached to him, and with another cry of pain, he flipped over onto his stomach and tucked his legs and arms underneath him until he was curled up into a ball.

Janet didn't waste a moment in taking the needle from Baker and injecting its contents into Daniel's shoulder.

He flinched as the needle pierced his skin, but otherwise remained still. Janet breathed a sigh of relief once the drug was in him, and kept her eyes trained upon his back until she saw him begin to relax and his breathing become more even. Then she turned to Dr. Baker, who was standing in the same spot he had been when she had taken the needle from him, his eyes wide as he looked down at Daniel.

"What was that all about?" he asked breathlessly.

Janet folded her arms around her body as though to comfort herself. "He's still having the hallucinations," she said, keeping her voice quiet in case Daniel wasn't completely asleep yet. "I'm not sure yet how much of his memory has been lost, but he did recognize me and the infirmary. That's more than we could have hoped for before Jacob used the healing device on him."

Dr. Baker nodded and took a deep breath. "Will we need to restrain him again?"

Janet winced. "I'd rather not just yet," she said, trying to make herself believe it wasn't just her emotions talking. "The sedative is working in him now that he no longer has the mind fever. I'd like to think they wouldn't be necessary."

Baker gave her a wary look for a moment, but he didn't argue the point. Instead he wordlessly went over to Daniel and tried to reattach the wires and tubing Daniel had pulled loose.

Once he was finished, Janet sank back down into her chair to take up vigil at Daniel's side yet again. The sight of him huddled up in a protective position brought tears to her eyes and made her ache to hold him. She had to settle for covering him with a blanket and placing a gentle kiss on the back of his head.

"I'm with you every step of the way, Daniel," she said as she leaned her elbows on his bed and stroked his hair. "Just keep hanging in there."  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	22. Chapter 22

**Mind Fever - Chapter 22**

  
  
Daniel awoke to the sound of voices. Voices, voices, voices... always so many voices. Why didn't they just go away and leave him alone?

"Daniel? I think he's waking up again."

Who was that? He recognized that voice. Why couldn't he remember his name?

"Thank you, Colonel."

Colonel? No, it wasn't Colonel. That's a stupid name. It's...

"Jack." Daniel mentally kicked himself for saying the name out loud. Now he'd drawn even more attention to himself.

"Yeah, Daniel, I'm right here."

Daniel felt the bed dip as someone sat down beside him. He opened his eyes a crack and found himself looking up at Jack. A smiling Jack.

"And there _you_ are," Jack said.

Daniel scowled up at him. Of course he was there. He'd been there for ages. Where the hell else would he be?

Jack's face fell a little at Daniel's silence. "Need some water, buddy?" he asked as he reached for a cup by Daniel's bed.

Buddy? "My name isn't Buddy."

Jack froze mid-motion. "No, course it isn't. I just..." He glanced over his shoulder at someone behind him.

"Daniel, you're awake," came a voice from the other side of the room. "It's good to finally see those eyes again."

He recognized that voice right away. Dr. Fraiser. He craned his neck to see past Jack to the woman who was crossing the room towards him.

She smiled down at him as soon as she got close, but Daniel's gaze was immediately drawn to the ugly bruise on her cheek and around her eye. "What happened to you?" he asked.

Jack grinned and looked at Dr. Fraiser. "He doesn't seem to have any trouble talking."

"No, and that's a very good sign," she said. She sat down on the opposite side of the bed from Jack. "I had a bit of an accident, that's all. How are you feeling?"

She reached out a hand to touch his face, and it made Daniel feel uncomfortable. Why was everyone crowding around him like this? How was he supposed to breathe when people surrounded him on every side? He glared at her when her fingers lingered on his cheek for longer than he felt was necessary. Since when was Dr. Fraiser so touchy-feely with him? It made his skin crawl.

"Don't," he said, pushing her hand away.

A funny look came over her face, but he ignored it and looked back over at Jack. "What?" he said when he saw that Jack had a funny look on his face, too. What was their problem?

"Fraiser asked you a question, Daniel," Jack said.

Daniel shot Dr. Fraiser a suspicious look through the corner of his eye. "I feel..." He stopped, confused. How did he feel? What was the word to describe it? He squeezed his eyes shut as he searched for it, but his mind had gone completely blank.

"Are you alright, Daniel?"

Panic rose up in his chest and his heart started to race as he racked his brain for the word that had escaped him. Why couldn't he remember it? What was going on?

"Daniel?" She laid her hand on his shoulder, studying his face in concern.

"Get away from me," he said, swiping her hand off his arm. "I'm... I'm okay. Headache. That's... headache." Why couldn't he remember that word before?

"Okay," she said, holding her hands up and finally backing off a little. "I just need to make sure you're okay."

"Why?" he demanded. "What's happening?"

Dr. Fraiser and Jack exchanged a look that Daniel didn't like one little bit. "You've been very sick, Daniel," she said in a soft voice. "You haven't quite recovered yet."

"Sick? With what?"

She looked down at her hands for a moment before she answered. "It's a disease called the 'mind fever.' It attacked your brain and your nervous system, and we think there may be some after-effects, such as loss of memory..."

"My memory is fine."

The two of them looked at each other again. It made Daniel want to slap them.

"What's the last thing you remember?" she asked.

Last thing he remembered... last thing he remembered... Nothing. Go back further... there's gotta be something...

"Oh God," he said under his breath. No matter how hard he tried to grasp onto a memory, he couldn't find so much as one. He remembered names, faces, thoughts, and feelings, but there were no tangible memories... no past events he could describe with words. Nothing. He couldn't remember a damn thing.

Daniel felt his panic building again at this realization. What the hell had happened to him? "I can't," he said between gasps for air. "I... I can't... I can't remember..."

"It's okay, Daniel. Take deep breaths. Just calm down. You don't have to be afraid."

She was touching him again, stroking his shoulder like he was some kind of frightened child. "Stop it!" he shouted, slapping her hand away from him. "Stop it! Stop! Stop!"

"Daniel!" Jack grabbed his arms and pinned them to his sides.

"No!" He struggled to get away from Jack, but it just made pain course through his entire body. Every muscle in his body seemed to seize up all at once, and he found he couldn't move. "Oh God!" he gasped. "Help me!"

"Should we tie him down?"

Tie him down? They were going to tie him down?! "Get away from me!" he screamed. "Help me! Please, God, somebody help me!!"

"We're trying to help you, Daniel, but you've got to stop fighting us."

Dr. Fraiser was coming at him with a needle. He hated needles. They hurt. He was hurting enough already. "Please don't put that in me!" he begged. "Please! I... I won't fight... please don't tie me down! No more needles!"

Jack and Dr. Fraiser looked at each other again, and Jack slowly let go of his arms and sat up straight.

Daniel sobbed in relief, still unable to move.

"Calm down, Daniel," Dr. Fraiser said. Her voice sounded funny - not like it usually sounded at all.

Daniel blinked hard to get the tears out of his eyes and get a better look at her. Her face was wet, too. Why had she been crying? "I'm calm," he said in a shaky voice. "Please don't tie me down."

"We won't, Daniel," Jack said firmly. "Not if you stop fighting us."

Daniel nodded and took a few deep breaths. He wasn't sure he could trust them, but they did back off. He'd take what he could get when he could get it.

"I need you to focus on me, Daniel," Dr. Fraiser said.

He obliged her by looking at her face, though he found he couldn't make eye contact for more than a second at a time. Her steady gaze was making him nervous.

"Can you remember anything?" she asked. "Anything at all?"

Daniel bit his lip and tried not to start crying again as he tried as hard as he could to conjure up some kind of memory.

"You know your name?" she said.

He gave a slight nod. "Daniel Jackson."

"You know who we are?"

"Jack. And Dr. Fraiser."

"Okay, can you count to five for me?"

"One... two... three... four... five."

"Good. Can you tell me the first five letters of the alphabet?"

"Why are you asking me stupid questions?" he demanded.

"We have to figure out just how much of your memory you've lost, Daniel. Humour me."

Daniel sighed. "Okay... which language?"

Jack snorted and hid a grin behind his hand.

For some reason, Daniel found this incredibly funny, and he burst into loud laughter that he couldn't quite control. He didn't even know why, and it scared him a little. That only made him laugh even more.

Once his laughter started to die down, he saw that Jack and Dr. Fraiser were exchanging that look again. It was like they were talking about him right in front of his face, only without saying anything. It made him so mad he could hardly breathe. "Stop it!" he snapped. "Stop doing that. Stop!"

"Stop what?" Dr. Fraiser asked.

"That... look. Like I'm some kind of... of..." What was the word? Why couldn't he think of the damn word? Little person... Danny Jackson... "Child!" he finally finished. "Stop."

"Okay, Daniel, we won't do that anymore," Dr. Fraiser said in a soft voice. "We didn't realize we were upsetting you. I'm sorry."

Daniel continued to glare at them, but he nodded acceptance of her apology. "A, b, c, d, e," he said.

Dr. Fraiser smiled. "Settled on English, huh?"

Daniel's mouth twitched, but he didn't feel like laughing this time. Not when he knew how they would look at each other if he did.

"Is there _anything_ you can remember, Daniel? Anything at all outside this room. People, places, objects... anything you remember doing or saying before you woke up here?"

Daniel closed his eyes and tried to think. He did remember people, but they danced through his head like ghosts, like the memories were there but he couldn't touch them. One stood out above all others, though. One face shone brighter than all the rest he could see in his mind's eye. Dark hair, laughing brown eyes, deeply tanned skin...

"Sha're," he murmured. "I remember... Sha're." He opened his eyes warily, looking at the others to gauge their reaction.

Dr. Fraiser nodded. "That's good. And who was she?"

What did she mean, who was she? Didn't everyone know? And why did she say 'was' and not 'is?' "She's my wife," he said, pointedly giving her a stony glare.

She seemed slightly disturbed by the way he was looking at her. As it should be. She shouldn't have asked such a stupid question. "Alright... and what do you remember about her?" she asked.

Daniel licked his dry lips and tried to think, but all he could remember was her face. He couldn't remember his own wife - not the sound of her voice, the smell of her hair, the things they had done together... nothing. It was gone.

As soon as he felt the panic start to creep up on him again, he shook his head. "I don't want to do this anymore," he said. "I need some water."

Dr. Fraiser got to her feet immediately. "Of course," she said, taking the cup that Jack was already holding out to her. She stepped closer to Daniel, and he tried not to shy away from her as she slid her hand behind his head and held the cup to his lips.

He watched her closely as he drank, not daring to take his eyes off her for an instant. As soon as he'd had enough, he turned his head to the side so she would know to take the cup away.

"Why don't you try to get a bit more sleep?" Dr. Fraiser suggested.

Daniel thought that would probably be a good idea. He waited for her to walk away, but for a long moment she just stood there looking down at him. Her smile wasn't really a smile at all - it looked too fake. And she was touching him again. Stroking his hair. Daniel didn't like it one bit.

"Just call if you need anything, okay?" she said. "There's always someone nearby."

"Fine," he said, inching away from her hand.

She seemed to get the point and withdrew it, but he still didn't like the look she had on her face. Her eyes were shining like she was going to cry again. "Colonel?" she said, looking at Jack as she stepped away from the bed.

"Right," Jack said. He gave Daniel a small smile. "See you later, Daniel."

As soon as they moved away from him, Daniel snuggled deeper into his pillow and closed his eyes. He didn't really feel like sleeping, though. He wanted to think. He needed to remember something... anything. How could he remember people and not how he'd met them? How could he remember his wife but not their marriage? None of it made any sense.

A few minutes passed in complete silence, and he was just drifting off to sleep when a quiet voice from across the room caught his attention.

"Do you think we should tell him?" It sounded like Jack, but he couldn't be sure.

"How do you propose we do that, Colonel?" That was definitely Dr. Fraiser. "He's had the equivalent of a brain injury. His volatile behaviour and sporadic memory are all par for the course. If we tell him about things he doesn't remember, it might set him off even worse than we've seen him thus far, and I'm sure you don't want that."

"I know; it just doesn't seem fair."

"What he doesn't know can't hurt him, Colonel."

"I'm talking about _you_."

Dr. Fraiser sighed. "Why, because he doesn't remember our relationship?"

"He seems downright afraid of you."

"I don't think it's fear, Colonel. It's just that, to his mind, Daniel is still married to Sha're, and I'm no more than his doctor. I shouldn't have violated his personal space like I did. I certainly know not to do that in the future."

"But you're _not_ his doctor anymore, Doc. You're practically his wife, for God's sake..."

At this, Daniel had finally heard enough. No longer married to Sha're? Dr. Fraiser practically his _wife?!_ What the hell kind of bull was that?

"Stop it!" he screamed, his chest constricting so he had to struggle to draw in another breath. As soon as his lungs were full again, he started yelling things at them that he'd never uttered before in his life. He couldn't seem to stop himself. Expletives poured out of his mouth like water through a fire hose.

He saw them coming at him again, and he couldn't hold himself back - he swung his arms and kicked his legs and tried every way he could to cause as much pain to someone else as he was feeling after hearing those words. His body convulsed and spasmed, but still he lashed out, even managing to sink his teeth into someone's arm when it got too close, jabbing one of those damn needles into his shoulder.

The person's cry of pain was the last thing he heard before everything started to go hazy. "Damn you," he said as he felt himself start to slip into unconsciousness. "I hate you all."  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	23. Chapter 23

**Mind Fever - Chapter 23**

  
  
"He what?!" Sam asked in shock.

"He bit me," Colonel O'Neill replied. He winced as he glanced down at the wound in question and caught an unwanted glimpse of the thread lacing through his skin.

"So hard it needs stitches?!"

Colonel O'Neill gave her a dark look. "Ya think?" he said, motioning towards Janet, who was quickly and skilfully patching him up.

Sam gave her head a slight shake and tried to snap out of her daze. "What happened?" was all she was able to say.

Colonel O'Neill looked down at the floor, but Janet's face remained set like stone as she concentrated on her work. "He... kinda overheard us talking, and... found out that Sha're's out of the picture."

"Oh my God," Sam breathed. She glanced across the room at Daniel, who although he was fast asleep, still had a fretful look on his face and sweat-soaked hair. "He didn't know?"

"Obviously not," the colonel mumbled.

"He didn't know about... us, either," Janet said, her voice so quiet she could barely be heard. "He knows who people are, and he remembers things he's learned; he just can't seem to remember actual events. All he could come up with was that Sha're was his wife. Then we went and shot down the one thing he had to hold onto." The self-recrimination in her voice was painfully obvious.

"And... that made him bite you, Sir?"

Colonel O'Neill just rolled his eyes, so Janet answered for him. "He's basically suffered a brain injury, Sam," she said as she finished up with the colonel's arm and started putting her medical supplies away. "His mind is functioning in a completely different way now than it once did, and the rest of his body hasn't figured out how to handle it yet. His behaviour is unpredictable because he can't control himself. In the short time he was conscious, he swung from panic to anger to apathy in mere seconds. I'm afraid he's likely to be that way for quite some time. The slightest thing may set him off into a violent rage or a panic attack or any number of extreme reactions."

Sam stared at her, speechless, as she broke this news. "But... it won't be permanent... right?" she stammered.

Janet's movements stilled, her back turned towards Sam and Colonel O'Neill. "I can't say that for sure just yet," she said. "There's every possibility that the healing device might be able to do some good, but I doubt it'll be in time to undo what's already been done to him emotionally."

Sam felt like she'd been slapped in the face by this statement. _Some good?_ Just a little while ago they'd all been hoping for a full recovery. "In all fairness, Janet," she said, "he's only had two treatments with the healing device so far. He's made a lot of improvements since, so let's not give up hope on him just yet."

Janet gave a nod so slight it was barely noticeable. "Maybe you should try sitting with him for a while," she said, her tone implying that it was best not to continue with that particular topic. "If he wakes up to Colonel O'Neill or myself, he's likely to lash out again."

"How long do you think it'll be before he wakes up?" Sam asked, anxiety gnawing away at the pit of her stomach.

"Probably an hour, maybe two," Janet replied. "We didn't give him much sedative, so it won't last long." She then walked out of the room without so much as a backward glance.

Sam looked at Colonel O'Neill, who shrugged in reply to her unspoken question. "I think the whole thing shook her up more than she's admitting," he said.

"What about you, Sir?"

He shot her a sideways glance and took a deep breath. "I just hate seeing him like this," he said. He cleared his throat nervously and stood up from his stool. "Watch him for a bit, will you? I'll be back."

Sam watched in silence as he, too, left the room, leaving her alone with Daniel. She turned to look over at her sick friend and mentally gave herself a swift kick when she realized she was reluctant to go over to him. 'It's just Daniel,' she told herself. 'He may not be in total control of his actions, but he's still Daniel.'

She awkwardly crossed the room and stood by his bed looking down at him for a long moment. She wished she could fix him _now_ instead of having to space out his treatments so long. She'd planned to wait another day to try again, but that was starting to feel like an eternity.

With a heavy sigh, she sank down into the chair by his bed to wait.

And wait.

Colonel O'Neill returned after a few minutes with a mug of coffee and a magazine for her and then disappeared again, saying he'd be close by if he were needed. Still Daniel slept, tossing his head back and forth at times as though he were haunted by nightmares. All Sam could do was watch and wait.

Well over an hour passed like this before Sam suddenly realized that Daniel hadn't moved for a little while. She had been absently flipping through the magazine while thinking over the events of the past couple of days, and hadn't really been paying him much attention. As soon as she noticed his silence, she looked up to see if he was alright.

"Hi, Sam."

She almost dropped the magazine in her surprise at not only seeing him awake but fully aware. "Hey," she said, flashing him a bright smile. "How long have you been awake?"

"A while."

"Sorry about that. I wasn't really expecting... I mean, you weren't really..."

"'S okay," he said. "At least you aren't..." He stopped mid-sentence and squeezed his eyes shut. Sam was about to ask if he was okay when he opened them again and finished, "...hovering. Jack was hovering."

Sam was so relieved to hear him talking normally that she grinned and laughed at this statement. "Why does that not surprise me?" she said.

A big smile broke out on Daniel's face, and he started to laugh, a high-pitched, half-hysterical giggle that made a shiver run up Sam's spine. A moment later it stopped, and his face was deadly serious again. "They hurt me," he said.

Sam didn't quite know what to say to that. She was afraid that anything she said might set him off again, but she couldn't just let that comment go. "I'm... sure they didn't mean to."

The look in his eyes turned cold. "Yes, they did," he said. "They were telling lies, asking stupid questions, and poking me with needles. They used to be my friends. Why would they do that?"

Sam swallowed hard and tried to think of a way to get him to understand. "Daniel... you've been really sick. We're all just trying to make you well again."

"Lies won't make me well again."

She was shocked and dismayed at the anger, betrayal, and mistrust she saw in his eyes. She had never seen Daniel looking that way, and couldn't believe he was directing it at her. "Look," she said, laying a gentle hand on his arm, "I know this is hard for you to understand, but a lot has changed over the last few years that you just don't remember. It doesn't mean they're lies, it's just..."

"Where is Sha're?"

This question rendered her speechless for a moment. 'No,' she thought, 'God, please, I don't want to have to tell him that.'

"Where?" he demanded.

"She... she died, Daniel," Sam said, keeping her tone soft and sympathetic. "About four years ago."

Daniel's face contorted as though he was going to cry, but then suddenly relaxed into a look of pure apathy. He stared straight ahead, unseeing, and when he spoke, his voice held no more emotion than a machine. "Four years?"

"Yes," Sam said. "I'm so sorry, Daniel. You did... you did see her before it happened. She died knowing how much you loved her."

He nodded and turned his face away from her. "I did."

Sam had no idea what else to say to him, so she stayed quiet while he mulled this over.

"What about... Dr. Fraiser?" he asked a minute later.

She didn't really want to touch that one. "What about her?"

"Jack said she's practically my wife," he said through clenched teeth. "What the hell does that mean?"

"I... think that's a matter for you to discuss with Janet," Sam said carefully.

"No," he snapped. "I don't want to see her again."

"Okay," Sam assured him.

"Ever."

"Well, that might be a problem."

He snapped his head around to look at her, his eyes blazing.

"She works here, Daniel. In this infirmary. I doubt you're going to go the rest of your life without seeing her. Besides that, she cares about you. If you make her stay away, it'll break her heart." She didn't know how she'd worked up the nerve to say all of that, but the fact that she did was enough to boost her confidence even more.

"I don't care."

"You cared a few days ago, Daniel," she said firmly. "Before the mind fever hit, the two of you were quite happy together. Just because you don't remember it doesn't give you an excuse to hurt her now."

He seemed to be thinking this over for a moment. "Fine," he said at last. "But I don't want her... touching me." He looked so uncomfortable that Sam took pity on him.

"I think we can arrange that," she said in a conspiratorial whisper.

He seemed to relax a little again, so Sam decided it would be best to change the subject.

"I see you're still wearing the pendant I gave you," she said, pointing to the necklace that still hung around his neck.

Daniel looked confused and lifted a hand to his neck to feel it. "What is it?" he asked.

"It's sort of a good luck charm that someone back on the planet sent for you."

"What planet?"

'Oh, right,' Sam thought. 'That was stupid. He doesn't remember.' She took a deep breath and answered, "The planet we just visited, where the people were sick with the mind fever."

"I got this way on another planet?" he asked, starting to look anxious again.

"Yeah, we arrived just as an epidemic started," Sam explained. "We didn't know what was going on, so when a little girl fell ill and everyone started backing away from her, you rushed to help her. No one there forgot your selflessness, Daniel. They sent you that pendant because they believe it could make you well again."

"Did I save her?"

Sam's heart melted at the look he was giving her. It was pure Daniel - compassion, pleading, sorrow for another's suffering... it was all there. It wasn't lost after all. "I'm sorry, no," she said reluctantly. "She died soon after."

He looked down at his hands, his forehead creased in thought. At first he seemed to be studying the marks on his wrists, and then he traced a line with one finger up the bare skin of his arm, looking closely at each of his partially healed sores with an almost morbid fascination. "Why didn't I die?" he asked as he slowly trailed his finger back down to his wrist.

"You put up a hell of a fight," Sam said, a feeling of unease settling over her as she watched his movements. "We almost lost you a few times, but somehow you kept on bouncing back."

He was silent for a moment as he continued his examination by doing the same thing with his other arm. "I wish I'd died."

Sam felt her jaw drop at this statement. "You what?" A feeling of fear gripped her heart as he turned his head away from her. "Why would you say that?"

"I'm tired, Sam," he said wearily. "Please leave me alone."

Sam couldn't just let that go, no matter how tired he was. "Daniel, we all love you," she said, her voice quavering just a little. "We're all so relieved that you're okay..."

"I'm not okay. I don't... work."

Sam could hear the pain in his voice, and it made her ache with sympathy for him. She knew exactly what he was talking about without having to ask. "You will," she said, laying a hand on the side of his face. "I'm trying to heal you with the Goa'uld healing device, but we have to wait a while between each treatment."

He turned to look at her then, his eyes wide. "You can do that?" he asked in wonder.

"Yes," Sam said, kicking herself again for forgetting about his memory loss. "I was blended with a Tok'ra for a while, and she left me with the ability to use Goa'uld technology."

"A what?"

'Damn,' Sam thought. 'He's really lost a lot if he doesn't even remember the Tok'ra.' She forced a slight smile and stroked his cheek with her thumb. "It doesn't matter, Daniel. All that matters is that you don't give up hope. Okay?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment, studying her face as though he was trying to decide whether or not he could trust her. "I'll try."

She flashed him a genuine smile at this, and leaned forward to place a quick kiss on his cheek. "Good."

Daniel looked up at her suspiciously for a moment, but he soon closed his eyes and nestled his head further into his pillow. "Just keep them away from me, Sam," he said as he drifted off to sleep.

Once he was out, Sam sat back in her chair and sighed. She could tell already that this was going to be a long, hard convalescence.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	24. Chapter 24

**Mind Fever - Chapter 24**

  
  
Janet groaned at the sound of someone knocking on her office door. She fought back the urge to yell at whomever it was to just go away and lifted her head from where it had been resting in her arms on her desk. "Come in."

The door opened slowly and a blond head peeked tentatively around the side. "Are you busy?" Andrew asked.

"No, please come in," Janet said, sitting up straighter in her chair as her friend entered the room. "I didn't realize you were back."

"Yeah, my team and I just arrived about an hour ago," he said. "Those who survived have been sent home, so there was really no reason for us to stay."

"They've been sent home already?" Janet asked in surprise.

Andrew shrugged, looking uneasy. "It wasn't my idea, believe me. You know, part of me wonders whether the whole 'they either die from the disease or kill themselves' thing is mainly because they aren't properly cared for. They mean well, but it's like most of their family members have already given the survivors up for dead and just want their care to be as convenient for the caregivers as possible."

Janet swallowed hard past the lump that was rising in her throat and looked down at her hands.

"God, Janet, I'm sorry," Andrew said hurriedly, taking a few steps closer to her and reaching out to touch her shoulder. "That was thoughtless of me..."

"It's okay, Drew," she interrupted, looking up at him and forcing a slight smile. "I know you weren't talking about Daniel."

He winced. "How is Daniel?" he asked, his tone full of sympathy.

Janet took a deep breath. "He's better than I initially hoped he would be," she said. "Jacob Carter came and used the healing device on him, but said it would take a lot of short treatments with it before we see any kind of substantial improvement. He showed Sam what to do, so hopefully it won't be long now before he's... better."

"That's great news," he said. "I'm so glad there's hope for him now."

"Me, too."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment before Andrew spoke again. "Look, I... feel I should apologize for how... abrupt I was back there," he said, his words slow and measured. "You know it was only because I was concerned about you, right?"

She smiled up at him and patted the hand that still rested on her shoulder. "I know," she said. "Don't worry. I didn't take it personally."

He sighed in relief. "Good."

"Will you be taking over Daniel's care now that you're back?"

He nodded. "Yes, my next order of business is to have a word with Dr. Baker about doing just that." He looked at her closely for a moment. "By the way, forgive me if it's none of my business, but I would have thought you'd have been with him now, giving Baker all kinds of hell over how to treat him. When Colonel O'Neill told me out in the hall that you were in your office, I thought for sure something must have happened. Are you alright?"

Janet wasn't sure how to answer this except with the whole, horrible truth. "He doesn't want me with him, Drew," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "He doesn't remember me. At least, not what we've been to each other in recent months."

His face fell in shock and sympathy. "Oh Janet, I'm so sorry."

Janet nodded, trying to ignore the fact that tears were threatening to form in her eyes again. "It's to be expected, really," she said. "Until he regains his memory, anyway."

"Still," Andrew said, "that's got to be... God. Come here." He gently pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her.

She accepted the embrace gratefully, finding comfort in this close human contact that she hadn't felt for what seemed like half a lifetime. "Thanks, Drew," she said into his chest.

"You know that if there's anything you need, you just have to ask."

"I know. Thank you."

She could sense he was about to say something more when her phone rang. They quickly broke apart as she moved to answer it.

"Dr. Fraiser."

"Mom? It's me."

Janet signalled to Andrew that she was going to be a while, and he silently left the room to give her privacy. She sank back down into her chair and braced herself for whatever her daughter was about to say. "Hey, Cass. What's up?"

"I want to come see him."

No beating around the bush there. "I'm sorry, Cassie, I just don't think that's a good idea right now."

"Mom, I'm not a child anymore. You don't have to protect me."

Janet sighed. "It's not you that I'm trying to protect here, honey, it's Daniel."

"Daniel needs to be protected from me?" She was obviously not buying it.

"He's... he doesn't remember anything that's happened for the last few years," Janet said, trying to figure out how to explain the situation to her daughter without making it sound as bad as it really was. "I just think that too many people visiting him would be a bit much for him to handle."

"Is Jack going to see him?"

Janet could see where she was going with this, but she couldn't seem to stop herself from falling for it. "Yes, he is."

"And Sam?"

"Yes, Cassie."

"Teal'c?"

"I'm sure he will, yes."

"Then why not one more?"

Janet sighed. "Why is it so important that you see him now?" she asked. "He'll probably be coming home in a week or two, and you have school."

There was a pause for a moment. "I'm already here, Mom," she said quietly a moment later.

"You're what?"

"Damian drove me back to Colorado Springs this afternoon. I'm already here, so I might as well..."

"Cassandra, we discussed this earlier, and we agreed you should stay at the dorm until Daniel came home."

"I changed my mind," Cassie said, undaunted by Janet's strictest 'mother' tone.

Janet gave up. "Alright," she said, leaning her elbow on her desk and massaging her forehead with her hand. "You can come for a short visit tomorrow. But I do mean _short_."

"Thanks, Mom."

Janet was touched at how relieved the girl sounded. She found it hard to believe that she'd ever been hesitant to tell her daughter about her relationship with Daniel for fear that she would be opposed to the idea. On the contrary, Cassie had welcomed Daniel into their little family with open arms, and had even been overheard referring to him as "Dad" to her friends. "Just... be prepared," she said gravely. "He's not his usual self just now. In fact, he... he loses his temper quite easily, and says some pretty strange things sometimes."

"I can handle it."

Janet smiled. She knew that if anyone could, it was Cassandra.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Despite her brave face, Cassie was feeling more nervous than she had felt in years. She was sure everyone was keeping something from her regarding Daniel, and it was driving her to distraction. She needed to see him for herself or she'd never be able to eat, sleep, or think straight again.

One of the things that had her more worried and confused than anything was the fact that Jack had been the one to pick her up and bring her to the SGC. She figured it must have been someone else's turn to sit with Daniel or something, but still, Jack would want to be somewhere within a twenty foot radius of Daniel at all times, wouldn't he? Something weird was going on here.

"You know not to expect much, right?" Jack asked as they drove through the outside gate of the complex.

"I've seen him sick before, Jack," she said. "I've even had him not remember me before. I'll be fine."

"This is a lot more than just memory loss or a bullet in the leg, Cass," he said, his tone more serious than Cassie had ever heard him use. "He's... different now. He won't react to things in the way you'd expect."

If she wasn't scared before, she sure was when she saw the pained look in Jack's eyes.

She followed him into the complex and down to level 21 without a word. As they neared Daniel's room, the sounds they heard made Cassie's legs turn to rubber. Was that Daniel screaming like that?

"Wait here," Jack told her, and ran off down the hall, disappearing into one of the rooms.

Cassie looked around nervously and found that she was completely alone. All she could hear were muffled screams and commands being barked out by someone who was obviously a doctor, and she was getting more and more freaked out by the second. 'Screw this,' she thought, 'I'm not going to just stand here.'

She worked up her courage and somehow got her legs to carry her down the hall. She stopped outside the room that Jack had gone into and poked her head inside.

"Daniel, no one here is trying to hurt you."

"He's a Goa'uld! I saw his eyes glow!"

"It's just Dr. Carmichael, Daniel. Relax."

"Get the hell away from me, Jack!"

"Carter, feel like giving me a hand here?"

"I'm trying, Sir. Daniel, let the doctors do their work."

"You said you'd keep them away from me!"

Cassie stared in shock at the commotion over by Daniel's bed. He looked so frightened and... furious. What shocked her the most was that his anger seemed to be aimed at Jack and Sam. And what had he said about a Goa'uld? As she watched the scene unfold, she finally realized why her mother had been reluctant to let her see him.

"Colonel, I really think it would help if you left... Sir," Sam said as she tried to pry Daniel's hand off her arm. He'd grabbed hold of her as Jack had gone to touch him, and his grip was so tight that his knuckles had turned white.

"You know, you don't have to be afraid of us, Daniel," Jack snapped, his patience obviously wearing thin. "Dr. Carmichael is not a Goa'uld, and I'm not your damn enemy!"

"Cassie, you shouldn't be watching this," said a voice at Cassie's elbow.

She spun around to see her mother standing behind her, looking worn and frazzled and sporting the most colourful shiner Cassie had ever seen. "Mom? What happened to your face?"

"Come away," Janet said, tugging on Cassie's arm to lead her across the hall. "I didn't mean for you to see him like that."

"What... what's wrong with him?" Cassie asked, her voice shaking.

"He's hallucinating," Janet explained. "It'll be over soon. If he's still conscious afterwards, you might be able to see him then."

Cassie didn't like the sound of the 'still conscious' part, but she nodded and tried to tune out the cries that were still coming from the other room. It occurred to her just then that her mother had avoided answering her initial question. "Mom, you didn't answer me," she said. "What happened to your face?"

Janet winced and looked down for a moment. Then she took a deep breath and replied, "Daniel was having a hallucination, thrashing about worse than you just saw. I just happened to get in the way of his fist."

Cassie's jaw dropped to the floor - or at least that's how it felt. "_Daniel_ did that to you?!" She could only imagine how horrible he must feel about it now.

Janet looked like she was about to respond, but Jack storming out of Daniel's room cut her off. "I hate feeling so damn helpless," he said, running his hand through his hair.

As he did so, Cassie caught sight of a bandage wrapped around his forearm. She didn't even have to ask this time. She knew it must have something to do with Daniel, just as her mother's shiner did.

A swarm of butterflies suddenly materialized in her stomach. She was really beginning to regret coming to see him.

"Think I should take her home again?" Jack asked her mother with a jerk of his head in Cassie's direction.

"Let's wait and see if he calms down first," Janet said. She snaked her arm around Cassie's waist as she spoke, but Cassie got the impression it was more for her own comfort than for her daughter's.

"Why don't you go in there, Mom?" Cassie asked, confused by the way her mother and Jack seemed to be avoiding Daniel. "Maybe you can calm him down."

Janet didn't seem to know how to answer this question. She simply shook her head and turned her face away.

Cassie looked beseechingly at Jack. "Why aren't..."

"Leave it, Cass," Jack interrupted her mid-sentence. His words were stern, but his tone was full of pain more than anything else.

Cassie wasn't about to leave it, especially when she heard another of Daniel's frightened cries. Before she could give it a second thought, she broke away from her mother and rushed into Daniel's room.

Sam and Dr. Carmichael were still trying to wrestle him down as he struggled to push them away, and it seemed that Dr. Carmichael was trying to inject him with something. Cassie's stomach turned at the sight.

"Daniel!" she yelled.

Three heads swivelled to look in her direction.

"Cassie, what are you doing in here?" Sam demanded.

"Daniel, it's me, Cassie. Do you remember me?" she said, ignoring Sam's question and slowly approaching the bed.

He looked her up and down in fear and confusion. "You're not Cassie," he said.

"Yes, I am, Daniel. It's me. You probably think I'm still a kid, right? I'm eighteen now."

Daniel glanced at Sam as if for confirmation, and Sam nodded. "What... why are you here?" he asked, his voice timid and quiet like a child's.

"You think he's a Goa'uld, right?" she asked, pointing at the doctor who stood at his side.

Daniel gave the doctor a sideways glance. "I saw his eyes glow," he said, his breath coming in short, panicked gasps. "No one believes me."

"Want me to check?"

Daniel narrowed his eyes at her, and then glanced back and forth between each of the faces around him.

Cassie was going on the assumption that if he remembered her, he remembered that she had naquadah in her system and could detect the presence of a Goa'uld just by standing close to them. It was a long shot, but she figured it was their best chance at calming him down without actually knocking him out.

"Okay," he finally agreed.

Cassie smiled in relief. "Okay," she said. "Now promise me you'll trust me when I tell you if he's a Goa'uld or not."

Daniel took a deep breath, struggling to keep from hyperventilating. "I promise."

"Good." Cassie moved slowly over to Dr. Carmichael and laid her hand on his arm. She could tell right away that there was no naquadah anywhere near him, but she closed her eyes and screwed her face up in concentration just for show. After a moment, she opened her eyes and dropped her hand to her side. "Not a Goa'uld in sight," she said with a sigh of satisfaction. "You're safe. Must have just been your imagination."

Daniel watched her warily as she sat down on the edge of his bed, his breathing finally evening out as he started to relax. "My... imagination?"

"Happens to the best of us from time to time," she said, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Nice to see you, by the way. I've missed you the past while, what with being away at college and all."

She could tell that her comments were just confusing him all the more, but he squeezed her hand back and smiled. "Nice to see you, too," he said. "You're really in college?"

Cassie grinned. They had a lot of catching up to do.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	25. Chapter 25

**Mind Fever - Chapter 25**

  
  
Sam sat back and watched as Cassie sat on the edge of Daniel's bed and started chatting away like it was a day like any other. She was impressed by the girl's strength in situations like this - it couldn't have been easy to see Daniel like that and just pretend nothing was wrong. God knew she couldn't do it.

Cassie had done the same for her years earlier, bringing her out of her shell after Jolinar's death. It was no wonder Cassie spoke of going in for medicine like her mother. She had an air of healing about her and a calming bedside manner. To have that at eighteen was quite a gift.

Thinking of Jolinar had Sam mentally kicking herself. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of suggesting she check Carmichael for a Goa'uld. She was glad Cassie's mind had been quicker than hers. Daniel was really starting to relax and look almost... normal.

"So, when do the docs say you can come home?" Cassie asked after a few minutes of casual conversation.

"Come... home?" Daniel asked, his expression changing in an instant from one of relaxed openness to one of suspicion.

Sam winced, knowing this was likely to set him off again. Still, she didn't dare interrupt unless things got out of hand.

"Yeah, home," Cassie said, not letting on that she noticed the change in him if, in fact, she did. "I plan on sticking around until you're better whether you're here or there, I just wondered how long I'll have the place to myself."

Daniel's eyes opened wide in what looked like horror. "I... live with you?"

"Course you do," Cassie said with a shrug. "You have for about four months now - you moved in just after my graduation. It's just been you and Mom there most of the time since I left for college, but I'm usually around on weekends."

Daniel started to look panicked again, and Sam was just about to go over to them when Cassie spoke again.

"It's okay, Daniel," she said, her voice soft as she laid her hand on his arm. "I know you don't remember it, but I'm sure it'll all come back soon enough. You, me, and Mom, we've had some great times together. We're a family."

"I don't... I... no!" Daniel gasped. He squeezed his eyes shut and ground the balls of his hands into them like he was trying to block out that image. "I can't live with her! How can I... what did I do?"

"Relax, Daniel," Cassie said. "God, you make it sound like living with us would be hell on Earth."

"How could I have betrayed my wife?" he asked, dropping his hands into his lap and looking up at her with tears in his eyes.

"You didn't," Cassie replied gently. "You just... moved on."

Sam watched Daniel closely for any sign that he would lash out upon hearing this, but he didn't. He looked saddened by it, but not angry or panicked. 'Way to go, Cass,' she silently cheered.

"You know what you told me not long ago?" Cassie continued.

"What?"

"You told me that you'd always love Sha're, but that you knew she would want you to be happy. You said you'd mourned her for long enough, and that it was time to move on. And you also said that you loved my mom in a completely different way. It was like you didn't even have to think about it, it was just... there. You two _belong_, Daniel. Don't let anything convince you otherwise."

Daniel looked thoughtful as she said all of this. "I told you that?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah," Cassie said. "Well... okay, so some of it I overheard... but yeah, I asked you what your intentions towards my mom were when you first started getting serious, and that's basically what you told me. That and that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her."

An indescribable expression flickered across Daniel's features at that, and he turned his face away from her. "Can we talk about something else now?" he asked.

Sam jumped to her feet, finally deciding it was better to nip this in the bud than watch it play out to its inevitable conclusion. "Actually, Cass, I think your visit's just about up for now," she said, trying to sound casual. "It's time for Daniel's next treatment anyway."

Daniel glanced at Sam nervously at the word "treatment." He didn't seem too thrilled about the idea.

"Okay," Cassie said reluctantly. "I'll see you later, Daniel." She leaned down to hug him as best she could while he was leaning against his pillows, her head on his chest and her hands on his shoulders.

Daniel looked a bit uncomfortable and unsure of himself when he found he had an armful of teenaged girl, but he patted her back awkwardly and didn't push her away. "See you, Cassie."

Cassie sat up and planted a firm kiss on his cheek. "I love you. Don't forget that." She wagged her finger playfully and gave him a saucy smile as she spoke.

Daniel smiled. "I won't. Thank you." He never took his eyes off of her as she stood up and walked out of the room, pausing at the door to wave before she disappeared around the corner.

As soon as she was out of sight, he sighed and turned to Sam. "What are you going to do?" he asked.

Sam went over to the cabinet where they were temporarily keeping the healing device. "I'm going to use this on you to help you get better," she said as she took it out and made her way back to his bed. She saw Dr. Carmichael watching them just out of Daniel's line of sight on the other side of the room, and nodded at him to indicate that she was going to proceed.

"How... how does it work?" Daniel seemed nervous, but not quite on the verge of panic, which was a good sign.

"I'm... not really sure, to tell you the truth." She gave him a sheepish smile and slipped the device onto her hand. "Like I told you before, it's Goa'uld technology that I'm able to use because I was blended with a symbiote a few years ago. My dad taught me how to work it so I could help your healing process along a bit."

A thoughtful look passed over Daniel's face at the mention of her father. "Jacob."

Sam thought for sure she hadn't heard him right. "What?"

Daniel looked almost as surprised as she was. "Jacob... and Selmak," he said. "That's your dad... right?"

She grinned. "That's right! See, your memory is coming back already." She squeezed his shoulder, pleased to note that he didn't flinch or look mistrustful at her touch. "It'll all come back before you know it."

Daniel smiled, looking relieved. It really seemed to ease his mind that he'd remembered something that he hadn't known a few minutes earlier.

He allowed Sam to do her work without so much as a squirm or a whimper. She could see that there was still a lot left in his brain to heal, but in the little time she could hold the device on him, she was satisfied by the amount of good she was able to do.

"Is that it?" he asked once she deactivated the device.

"That's it," Sam said. "How do you feel?"

Daniel looked off into space for a moment as if trying to think of an answer. Before he could speak, however, his eyelids started drooping and his head swayed drunkenly. "I'm... I can't... Sam?" He looked up at her with glassy eyes, silently pleading for help.

"Dr. Carmichael?" Sam called, fearful that she'd somehow managed to harm Daniel after all. "Daniel stay with me," she begged as she saw his eyes flutter closed. "Please, Daniel, I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"What happened?" Dr. Carmichael asked as he came up beside her.

"I don't know! I gave him his treatment and it seemed to go well, but one second he was fine and the next he passed out."

She stepped back and watched as Carmichael examined him. 'How stupid can I get?' she chided herself. 'I should have known better than to even try this. If I've killed him... oh God, I could never live with myself if he dies!'

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Janet rushed into Daniel's room, her heart pounding so hard she thought it would jump right out of her ribcage. "What happened?"

Andrew looked up from where he was standing over Daniel with his stethoscope pressed against his chest. "It's okay, Janet," he said quietly. "He's just unconscious. His breathing is even, his pulse is slow and steady... he's fast asleep."

Janet sagged against the wall and panted for breath, her relief was so overwhelming.

"Oh, thank God." Sam, who was standing by Andrew's side with a guilt-ridden expression on her face, echoed Janet's thoughts. "So... it was nothing I did?"

"I think it was, actually," Andrew said. He straightened up and hung his stethoscope back around his neck. "You were working on a very sensitive area of his brain, Major. The healing alone may have the same effect on his body as the initial trauma did, at least temporarily. His body needs to adjust to the change before he can function normally again."

"So, he'll lapse back into a coma every time we do this?" Sam said, appalled.

"No," Andrew said with a firm shake of his head. "He isn't in a coma. If I recall correctly, he was unconscious the last time you tried this but woke up soon after. Just give him some time. He'll come around."

"Andrew?"

He turned to look at Janet, and as soon as their eyes met he seemed to understand her unspoken request. "I think you're safe taking your turn at sitting with him now," he said. "Just call for me if he starts to wake up." He forced a smile for her benefit, and then walked away.

Sam gave her a quick hug as Janet approached the bed. "Will you be okay?" she asked.

Janet nodded. "Yes, I'll be fine. Thanks, Sam."

By the time Janet sat down in the chair by Daniel's side, she was alone with him. She didn't know why, but somehow sitting next to him felt strange after the events of the past couple of days. Or to be more specific, _Daniel_ felt strange. She had always felt the strong connection between them when she was near him, even if he was unconscious, but this time it was different. There was nothing there any more. It was like Daniel had cut himself off from her so completely that she no longer knew him. That hurt more than anything she'd ever experienced in her life.

With a sigh, she leaned down closer to him and stroked the side of his face. When he didn't react, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Please come back soon, Daniel," she whispered. "I miss you."

She remembered thinking before they'd brought him back to Earth that she could get through this as long as she could still see traces of the Daniel she knew in him. Unfortunately, it had become increasingly clear to her since then that her Daniel was either very deeply buried inside him or gone forever. She could only hope the former was the case, and that he would come back to her once his condition improved.

If it improved.

Janet gave herself a mental shake when she found herself thinking that thought. Of course he would improve. How could she doubt that even for a second? Sam's treatments were working, even though they weren't working fast enough to suit her impatient side. They just had to wait it out in the meantime.

With this resolve fresh in her mind, she sat back in the chair and settled in for the long haul.

Various medical personnel came and went from Daniel's room during the next few hours, all of them asking politely if they could get her anything to make her more comfortable. The sympathy in their eyes was unbearable. A few days ago she'd been in charge of this place, and all of these people had looked at her with nothing but respect in their eyes. Now she was playing the part of the worried relative, which meant it was their duty to "look after her." She didn't like it one bit. She wanted to scream every time someone shot a "poor Dr. Fraiser" look her way.

Colonel O'Neill and Sam dropped by every few minutes to check up on her, too, and every now and then she would see Teal'c pass by the doorway. She felt bad for Teal'c - he was still hesitant to show his face to Daniel in case he frightened him again. She knew that was unlikely to happen now that Daniel was more lucid, but Teal'c said he would rather stay on the safe side for a little while longer. Janet couldn't really blame him. She'd stayed away herself when she realized her presence was doing more harm than good. If her body and mind weren't screaming at her now to be by his side, she would no doubt still be hiding away in her office until someone told her it was safe to come out.

About two hours into the wait, Colonel O'Neill had just paid a short visit to tell her he'd taken Cassie home when Janet suddenly realized how tired she was. She'd managed to grab a few hours of sleep here and there since Daniel had come around from his coma, but her body protested quite loudly that it hadn't been enough. Since she had nothing better to do than just sit there, she figured now was as good a time as any to have a short power nap. She slouched down in her chair, leaned her head against its back, and closed her eyes.

She didn't even notice she had fallen asleep until she started dreaming about running through the halls of the SGC in search of her lost mind. The entire dream was so absurd that she knew it couldn't be real, yet she seemed to have no choice but to go along with it. "A mind is a terrible thing to waste, after all," the Daniel in her dream mocked as his eerie, out of control laughter echoed in her ears.

After what seemed like days of running, searching, and trying to get away from Daniel's taunting, she finally jerked awake. She was disoriented for a moment, but when her mind began to clear, she found herself staring into a pair of placid blue eyes.

"That must have been quite a dream," Daniel said.

Janet sat up straight and smoothed out her wrinkled clothing. "Yes, it was," she said. "How long were you lying there watching me?"

Daniel didn't answer. He was on his side facing her, his hands holding onto the pillow under his head and his knees bent and curled up close to his chest. He looked very comfortable and more relaxed than she had seen him since before he had taken ill. His eyes were fixed upon her face, his gaze so steady he barely even blinked.

It was creeping her out.

"How are you feeling?" she asked. She wanted so much to touch him and kiss him in relief that he was alright, but his body language wasn't exactly telling her that he had changed his mind on that score. He wasn't panicked or angry that she was sitting beside him, though, and she didn't want to mess that up.

Daniel sighed. "Tired. Headache. I cramped up when I turned on my side, too, but not as bad as last time."

Janet inwardly rejoiced that he was able to string all of those words together without pausing to think or catch his breath. "Good," she said, trying to appear impassive. "The muscle spasms should clear up completely within the next few days, and the tiredness and headache are probably due to the treatment you had a few hours ago. You really are getting better." She allowed herself a small smile as punctuation for her sentence.

Daniel's expression remained unchanged. He lay silent for a long moment, and when he spoke his voice was quiet and steady. "I did that to you, didn't I?"

Janet was confused for a second before she realized he was looking at her right eye. The last time she had looked in a mirror, the bruise on her face had been just about every colour under the sun, though thankfully the swelling had started to go down. But how did Daniel know he'd done it? She didn't quite know what to say.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said when she didn't reply. "Was I... um... ha... hallucinating?"

His slight stumble for the word made her nervous for a moment, but he didn't seem fazed by it. "Yes," she answered. "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." She tried to smile again, but it trembled and disappeared before it really got going.

"Sorry."

Janet's heart ached with joy at this one little word. He didn't seem overly penitent, but at least he was being civil. As far as she was concerned, that was a great improvement. "It's okay," she said. "It wasn't your fault."

Daniel swallowed hard and nodded. "Cassie... told me some things," he said.

"Oh?" Janet wasn't sure where he was going with that, but she had a feeling that something important was about to happen.

"Yeah. She told me... we, uh... we live together. That we're a family."

"Yes, that's right."

Daniel sighed, his expression turning hard. "Then I'm very sorry."

Janet was confused by this reaction. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Daniel."

"Yes, I do," he said, his eyes still focused on her face. "You've... lost the man you loved. I _am_ sorry."

Janet shook her head, remaining surprisingly calm at this comment. "I haven't lost him yet," she said in a low tone.

Daniel thumped his pillow with his fist. "You have. I'm not... him anymore. I can't believe I ever was. I'm sorry."

Janet leaned forward in her seat. "Look... I understand that your grief over Sha're is still fresh and so painful that you can't see past it... but, Daniel, you went through all of this before. In the end, you came out of it stronger than ever... and loving me."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized she'd made the biggest mistake she could possibly make. If she could take them back, she would have done so on the spot, but it was too late.

Daniel narrowed his eyes and glared at her, his temper finally rising to the surface. "You egocentric bitch," he said so quietly she could barely hear his words. "You're saying that as soon as I get over Sha're, I'll suddenly find out I'm head over heels for you and thank my lucky stars that she's dead?"

Janet could only gape at him in shock. She'd heard him call her some pretty nasty things when he'd lost control upon overhearing her conversation with Colonel O'Neill, but he was in complete possession of his faculties this time. She couldn't believe those words had just come out of his mouth.

He slowly turned over until he was on his other side with his back towards her. "Go away."

Go away? She couldn't just go away, not after what she'd said. She had to somehow try to fix what she had so royally screwed up. "Daniel..."

_"I said go away!!"_

His sudden yell made Janet involuntarily jump to her feet. She was shaking like a leaf and tears were fogging her vision as she rushed from the room.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	26. Chapter 26

**Mind Fever - Chapter 26**

  
  
Teal'c was making his periodic pass down the hall outside Daniel Jackson's infirmary room when Dr. Fraiser suddenly rushed out of the door and collided with him.

He took her by the shoulders automatically. "Dr. Fraiser," he said in alarm. "Are you well? What has transpired?"

"Please, just leave me alone, Teal'c," she said without looking up at him. She wrenched herself free of his grasp and continued down the hall at a quick pace.

Teal'c knew from this that Daniel Jackson must have awoken.

He stepped tentatively into the room, unsure of what to do. Dr. Carmichael had just been called to the bedside of another patient, and O'Neill and Major Carter were elsewhere on the base. If there was an emergency, he could summon help right away, but if Daniel Jackson was well, he should wait until Dr. Carmichael returned.

Before he had come more than a few feet into the room, Daniel Jackson turned slightly to look at him. Teal'c could see even at this distance that his eyes were wide and red with anger. "What do you want?" he demanded.

"I only wish to ascertain whether you are well," Teal'c replied.

Daniel Jackson snorted. "Funny how you haven't done that before now."

Teal'c raised his head a little higher at this remark, the words causing him great pain. "I have not come to see you in some time because my presence was unsettling to you upon my last visit," he said. "I did not wish to..."

"I know what you did."

Teal'c inclined his head in confusion. "Of what do you speak?"

"I know it was you," Daniel Jackson said, his voice low and full of emotion. "I know you killed her. I see it in my dreams."

Now he understood. "If you are referring to Sha're... I was indeed the one to fire upon her and end her life," he confessed. "However, I did so only to save yours."

"It wasn't a life worth saving."

Teal'c could hardly believe his ears. "Do not doubt your worth, Daniel Jackson. You are as a brother to me. There are few lives I value more."

Daniel Jackson blinked slowly a few times, his eyelids seeming to grow heavy. He curled up into himself even further, turned his face into his pillow, and said no more.

He did not move from that position as Teal'c awaited Dr. Carmichael's return; in fact, he seemed to fall asleep. Once Dr. Carmichael arrived and he was sure his friend was being properly cared for, Teal'c silently left the room.

The rest of the day passed without incident. Teal'c wandered through the halls of the SGC looking first for one of his friends and then another, wanting to be sure that they were well and in need of nothing.

He found Dr. Fraiser alone in her office, but she refused his offer of companionship or aid. O'Neill he found in the gym, taking out his frustrations on a punching bag. Teal'c decided it would be wisest to leave him undisturbed, so he went off in search of Major Carter. He found her in one of the science labs with Drs. Lee and Balinsky, who had recently returned from the planet after being told they had desecrated their holy ground far more than enough and asked to leave by the magistrate. They were intently studying the devices they had brought back, so Teal'c did not wish to interrupt. He made his way back to Daniel Jackson's room then, and found that he was still unconscious.

Teal'c continued this solitary cycle more times than he could count, until finally he retired to his quarters to sleep.

The next morning, Teal'c, O'Neill, Major Carter, Dr. Fraiser, and General Hammond were all summoned to a meeting with Dr. Mackenzie. Teal'c chose to ignore O'Neill's predictable grumblings about seeing the man to whom he referred as "the head shrinker," and silently took his seat at the briefing room table next to Major Carter. Dr. Fraiser was seated across from him, and he noted with concern that she looked as though she had not slept.

Once all present were seated, Dr. Mackenzie began to speak. Teal'c did not understand most of what he said at first, but when he spoke of chemical imbalances in Daniel Jackson's brain causing his wild mood swings and depression, his ears perked up.

"So, you're saying if you dose him up with Prozac, he should be okay?" O'Neill asked doubtfully.

"Not exactly, Colonel," Dr. Mackenzie replied. "There's a lot more to it than that, for one thing, and for another, I'm not sure what effect the drugs would have on his system while Major Carter is treating him with the healing device."

"So, what then," O'Neill snapped, "are we just supposed to sit on our asses and watch as he gets more and more depressed until he finally kills himself? Cause you know that's what the folks back on Feverworld do."

"We are not going to sit idly by, Colonel, not by a long shot. I only said that medication might not be his best option at the moment."

"So, what are you suggesting?" Dr. Fraiser asked. Her voice sounded small and thin, and it worried Teal'c.

"Well, first of all, I think that giving in to his demands to be left alone will only be harmful to him in the long run. I notice he has pushed each one of you away one by one - except Major Carter and Cassandra, but that's probably just a matter of time. If this continues, he will soon find himself without a friend in the world, and that will only aggravate his condition. He needs all of you supporting him, whether he's throwing abuse at you or not."

"And eventually he'll come around and _stop_ throwing abuse?" Major Carter spoke up.

"Yes, eventually," Dr. Mackenzie said. "In the meantime, his moods will swing up and down like a yo-yo. You'll probably find that one minute he will be almost clingy with you and the next he will push you away. Don't give in to either behaviour - make him understand that you are there to support him, not to be a crutch or a punching bag. He'll get the point after a while."

"You're making it sound like this will go on for a long time," O'Neill said warily.

"We have to prepare for the worst here, Colonel," Dr. Mackenzie said, his tone grave.

O'Neill rolled his eyes and looked away.

"Another thing I would suggest," Dr. Mackenzie said slowly, "is that he be surrounded by things that are most familiar to him. He will never regain his full memory if he stays cooped up in the infirmary."

Teal'c glanced over at Dr. Fraiser in time to see her turn deathly pale. "You... you mean... you want to send him home?"

Everyone at the table exchanged knowing glances.

"I'll take him back to my place if you want, Doc," O'Neill offered. "He knows that place as well as any."

"No... no, if he goes anywhere it should be his own home," Dr. Fraiser said, sitting up straighter in her seat. "I just... I doubt he'd be willing to go anywhere just yet with any one of us. Besides, he still has a lot of medical issues to take into account. He's really better off staying in the infirmary for the time being, don't you agree?"

Dr. Mackenzie nodded. "For now, yes," he said. "However, judging by the amount of improvement we've seen after each session with the healing device, I'm guessing he will be fit to be discharged within the week."

Dr. Fraiser looked down at her hands. "Alright," she said. "As soon as he's well enough... I'll take him home."

The room was silent for a long moment, the tension so thick Teal'c could feel it in the air. The sound of O'Neill clearing his throat soon caught everyone's attention. "Anything else?" he asked of Dr. Mackenzie.

"Yes," he said, and turned to Teal'c. "This holds especially true for you, Teal'c. Daniel's memory won't return in quite the same way this time as it did after his descension. As he regains his memories piece by piece, a lot of them will no doubt come to him out of context, and with his violent mood swings, he might have quite an extreme reaction to some of them. If this happens, just be patient and try explaining to him what really happened. He may not appear to be listening, but once he calms down again the words will probably start to sink in and make him see things clearly."

Teal'c knew Dr. Mackenzie was referring to the fact that Daniel Jackson had remembered the death of his wife and had blamed Teal'c for it. He gave Dr. Mackenzie a respectful nod.

"He's right, Teal'c," Major Carter said. "I was with Daniel a few minutes ago, and he told me about what happened with you yesterday. He asked me whether you really killed Sha're just to save him, so I told him the whole story. He was upset, but I don't think he blames you anymore."

Teal'c felt tears sting his eyes as she spoke. "Thank you, Major Carter," he said, allowing the corners of his mouth to turn upwards in a slight smile.

He happened to glance across the table at Dr. Fraiser just then, however, and the pain in her eyes made him feel guilty for his momentary relief. Daniel Jackson still had not forgiven Dr. Fraiser for whatever wrong he believed she had done to him, that much was certain. He only hoped that before long their relationship would mend and they would find happiness once again.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

When Janet entered Daniel's infirmary room to take her turn at sitting with him, she was surprised to find him sitting up in his bed, sulking.

There was really no other word to describe it. His arms were folded across his chest, his lower lip was protruding just slightly, his eyes were fixed on the sheet covering his legs, and the scowl on his face was enough to sour milk.

"Daniel?" she said as she took a few steps towards him.

He raised his eyes to look at her, but other than that he didn't move a muscle. "I thought I told you to go away."

Janet tried to keep Dr. Mackenzie's words in mind as she continued to approach his bed. Whether or not he pushed her away, she had to show him that she was there for him. Hopefully, he would appreciate that in the long run, whether he liked it now or not. "I did go away," she said. "But that was yesterday. Now I'm back."

He rolled his eyes and unfolded his arms so he could pick at his sheet. "This is because of what Dr. Mackenzie said, isn't it?"

'Ahh,' Janet thought. 'So that's what he's so huffy about.' She sat down on the edge of his bed as close to his knees as she dared, ignoring the disapproving look she got for it. "You've spoken to Dr. Mackenzie, then?" she asked.

"Of course I have," he snapped. "Don't pretend you didn't send him in here."

"It wasn't me, Daniel," she said. "I had to meet with him, too."

Daniel glanced up at her, his eyes narrowed with suspicion. "What did he say to you?"

Janet took a deep breath, weighing her words carefully before she spoke them. "Well, for starters, he said that no matter what you do or say, we can't allow you to push away the people who love you."

"Yeah, he told me that, too," Daniel muttered, looking down again.

"What else did he tell you?"

Daniel started playing with his sheet again. "Lots of stuff."

"What did he say that upset you?"

"I'm not upset."

Janet all but bit her tongue to keep from continuing this futile line of questioning. "Okay," she said, "what did he say that _didn't_ upset you?"

Daniel gave her an odd look through the corner of his eye. "What?"

Good, that got his attention. "Just tell me, Daniel. What's bothering you?"

Daniel thumped his head back against his pillow in exasperation. "He said I have to leave here soon."

Janet nodded slowly. "Yes, you do."

"And go where?" he asked angrily. "The only places I remember living aren't mine anymore. I don't want to go with you or Jack, I just want to be left alone!"

"That's just the problem, Daniel," Janet said, keeping her voice as calm as she could. "You _need_ to remember your home, and you won't until you're there. You _should_ want to be with your friends, but you won't until you're with them. It's a vicious cycle, I know, but..."

"You don't know."

This quiet comment stopped her mid-sentence. It suddenly hit her that he was right - none of them knew what he was going through, and couldn't even begin to imagine how frightening and confusing all of this must be. "No, I guess I don't," she said, "but that doesn't mean I can't help you through this."

He didn't reply, just turned his face away from her and stared at the wall.

No matter what she did or said during the rest of her visit, he didn't say a word. He barely even moved except to blink. She finally gave up and left the room after an hour of his silent treatment.

The next two days passed in somewhat of a blur for Janet. She alternated between spending time with a sulky, silent Daniel, going home to spend a few minutes with Cassie and make some changes around the house in preparation for Daniel returning home, and joining Sam and the team of scientists still working on finding a cure for the mind fever. Every now and then she'd fall into a bed somewhere either on the base or at home and sleep for a few hours. Then the routine would begin again.

During one of her visits with Daniel, he began to hallucinate, crying out that there were bugs infesting his bed. He worked himself up into such a panic that he had to be sedated. Other than that setback, he really seemed to be improving. He even managed to get out of bed a few times and take a short walk around the room, though his muscles cramped and spasmed in protest and he collapsed exhausted into his bed afterwards. All in all, these visits left her feeling drained emotionally and physically, especially since Daniel seemed to clam up every time she entered the room.

Her visits to the lab, however, were very insightful and almost uplifting. Thanks to Dr. Balinsky and Lt. Satterfield's translation, they had found a lot of information that was helping them a great deal in their research. Dr. James had managed to isolate a certain gene in the DNA of those who were immune that seemed to be the cause of it. He and his team were currently working on ways to manipulate the DNA of those who were not immune, using the notes of the ancestors who had managed this great feat generations earlier. Their progress was certainly encouraging. At least something was going well.

One thing about their discoveries that bothered her, however, was reading the notes they had found on why the disease was created. The people had wanted to create a weapon that could wipe out the Goa'uld in the most horrific way possible - making them relive the atrocities they had committed through their hosts' eyes. The horror their hosts had felt as they saw themselves commit evil deeds on a daily basis would become the Goa'uld's. Janet couldn't imagine anything more barbaric. Not that she felt much sympathy for the symbiote - she just couldn't imagine what something like that would put the host through.

Three days after Daniel's last treatment, Sam decided that it was time to try again. As before, Daniel seemed fine throughout the short session, but passed out as soon as Sam was finished. As before, Janet then settled in to wait by his side until he woke up.

It was almost four hours before she saw his eyes crack open and scan the room in disorientation. She pressed the call button to summon Dr. Carmichael, and he arrived almost instantly.

"You guys don't waste a second, do you?" Daniel asked before his eyelids drooped and closed once again.

Janet wasn't sure what he'd meant by that, but at least he'd spoken to her.

Later that same day, Janet was helping Sam in her lab when she got a call from Dr. Carmichael asking her to come to the infirmary right away. Not knowing what to expect, Janet rushed straight there.

When she got to the doorway of Daniel's room, she stopped dead in surprise. Daniel was sitting with his legs hanging over the side of the bed, his hands gripping the mattress as he leaned heavily on his arms for support. Dr. Carmichael and Dr. Mackenzie were both standing in front of him with their arms folded, looking for all the world like a pair of bookends. It almost made Janet want to laugh.

"What's going on?" she asked, taking a tentative step into the room.

"Ah, Janet, there you are," Andrew said with what sounded like a sigh of relief. "Daniel would like a word with you."

She gave him a questioning look, but he avoided making eye contact as he and Dr. Mackenzie crossed to the other side of the room to give them privacy. This made her more than a little nervous, but she stepped closer to Daniel anyway.

"What is it, Daniel?"

He took a wary glance over his shoulder to see if the other two men were really gone. Satisfied that they were, he glanced up at Janet briefly and patted the edge of the bed beside him.

Janet sat down and waited for him to speak.

"I... I'm sorry... for... calling you a... bitch," he mumbled after a moment of awkward silence.

Janet was genuinely shocked at this apology. She thought it must have been the doing of one of her colleagues, but she hadn't told anyone about the specifics of the incident and doubted that Daniel had, either. "Thank you, Daniel," she said. "I accept your apology."

Daniel nodded, his eyes fixed on the floor. "Good. Cause you're not. I don't even know why I said it."

Janet sighed and laid her hand on one of his. "I think you just have to relearn how to control your emotions now that your brain has been through such a trauma. It'll take time, but you'll get there."

He looked down at her hand for a long moment before he drew his hand away. "Please don't touch me," he said, his voice so low it was almost a whisper.

"Right," Janet said as she folded her hands together in her lap. "I'm sorry. Force of habit."

Daniel gave her a sideways glance, and Janet could see that his eyes were full of pain. She wished she knew how to take it away for him, but she wasn't even sure what was causing it.

"Do you know I was just walking again?" he asked.

Janet smiled. "That's great. How far did you go this time?"

"To the door and back. No pain this time, either."

"That's wonderful, Daniel!"

He swallowed hard and looked down at the floor again. "Yeah. I know. I don't forget words as much now, either. Things are getting... better."

The words sounded more like something he had been told to say than something he believed, but she was glad to hear them coming out of his mouth anyway. "I'm so proud of you, Daniel," she said. "If I could touch you, I'd give you a hug, but I guess I'll just have to settle for telling you that."

His lips twitched as though he was trying to smile, but the pained look soon intensified. "I, um..." He swallowed again and seemed to be bracing himself for something. "I want to go home," he said at last, his tone flat and emotionless.

"Home?" Janet echoed in disbelief.

Daniel sighed and turned his face away from her. "Home... where I live?"

"You... you mean... _our_ home?"

"If that's where I live."

Janet could hardly believe her ears. "Are you sure?"

"No," he said. "But it's about time life got back to normal in some ways, right? Maybe that'll help my memory come back?" He looked at her then, and Janet could see how uncomfortable he was at the idea, yet how determined he was to try.

Janet felt her expression soften as her heart melted at the look in his eyes. "It's certainly possible," she said.

"Besides that," he said quickly, "Mackenzie said if I didn't he would come here and visit me every day."

Janet smiled. So that's what this was about. "Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?"

Daniel shook his head and stared at his knees for a long moment. Then he hesitantly raised his eyes to look at her through his lashes. "So... you don't mind having me there?"

Janet felt a strong urge to either laugh for joy or burst into tears, but she managed to keep herself in check. "Of course not," she said. There was nothing in the world she wanted more.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox


	27. Chapter 27

**Mind Fever - Chapter 27**

  
  
Daniel couldn't believe how scared he was. He was going home - shouldn't that be a _good_ thing? Still, he couldn't seem to stop himself from shaking as Jack pushed his wheelchair farther and farther away from all that was familiar to him.

He hated the looks people were giving him as they passed him in the halls. Pity. He didn't want pity. He just wanted to be left alone.

Dr. Fraiser was walking along beside him. No, _Janet_. He had to start calling her by her first name if they were going to be living together. Her presence wasn't quite as uncomfortable for him now as it had been a few days earlier, but he still didn't understand how he'd ever fallen in love with her. Had he really been so lonely after Sha're's death? He shuddered at the thought.

He could remember things about her now that he hadn't at first. He remembered how hard she had fought on more than one occasion to save his life. That was no surprise, though - she was his doctor. Of course she would do everything she could to save him.

What he did find surprising was the memory that had come to him just after he'd woken up from his last treatment - the time he had found her sitting on the floor in a corner of her office, sobbing her heart out after the stress of Cassandra being ill. He didn't know why that memory was the first of all of his memories of her to rise to the surface, but he now remembered that day quite vividly. By the time Nirrti had come and gone and Cassandra's life was no longer in danger, Janet had been emotionally and physically spent. Daniel hadn't been able to find her and had gone to her office to see if she was there. When he saw her sitting there, her face in her hands and her shoulders shaking uncontrollably, he'd dropped to the ground next to her and gathered her into his arms. He'd sat with her for what seemed like hours, holding her and whispering comforting words into her hair as she cried out her pent up emotions into his shoulder.

The memory had confused and unsettled him, yet at the same time had made him realize that what everyone was telling him about his relationship with Janet might just be true. He remembered feeling as though his world had just come crashing down around him when he'd seen her crying, and he hadn't been able to leave her side until she was happy again. He just wished he could understand why.

When Dr. Mackenzie had told him later that day that he had to make a choice as to where he was going to go, he'd resolved to make the effort to regain his memory, no matter how hard it might be. He had to figure out who he was. He had to figure out why he couldn't stand to see Janet Fraiser hurting. He had to go home.

As they left the safety of the SGC, however, he started to regret making that decision.

"Here we are," Jack announced a little too cheerfully when they arrived at his truck. "Do you think you can climb in there, Daniel?"

"Yes," Daniel said. He shakily rose to his feet and stepped toward the truck. His legs were still very weak, so he didn't pull away when Jack took his arm to help him. Somehow he managed to climb into the vehicle without any major difficulties, and before long they were on their way.

Jack and Janet engaged in light-hearted small talk all the way, which wasn't easy as Janet was sitting in the back behind Daniel. Daniel didn't say a word, even when they directed a question or a comment at him. It was all he could do to stay calm as the familiar-yet-not-familiar scenery rushed by, and they expected him to answer stupid questions? He frowned at their inconsideration.

He was doing a pretty good job of keeping silent and calm until they rounded a corner and pulled into the driveway of a small, compact looking house with neatly trimmed windows, a wrap-around porch, and a red door. This was where he lived? He didn't recognize a thing about it.

Panic started to well up in his chest as Jack turned the engine off and got out of the truck. He'd changed his mind - he wanted to go back to the SGC. He didn't want to be stuck here in this tiny little house with Janet all day every day for the rest of his miserable life.

No, he wanted to go home, not back to the SGC. Oh God, why couldn't he remember where home was?

"Daniel?"

He suddenly felt Janet's soft hand on his shoulder and it made him jump. "Don't touch me!" he cried as he struggled to undo his seatbelt. Fight or flight was rapidly setting in, and he had to get away.

Unfortunately, his fumbling hands couldn't undo the clasp, and he resorted to yanking and slapping at it trying to break himself free. He started having flashbacks of being tied down to his infirmary bed, struggling against his restraints as all kinds of imaginary monsters attacked him from all sides. He could hear Janet's voice in his ear, but her words were drowned out by his own frightened gasps for air as his feeling of panic and claustrophobia turned into hyperventilation.

Just then, his door swung open and Jack was leaning over him trying to undo the seatbelt. "Easy, Daniel," he said in a calm voice. "It's just stuck, that's all. Nothing to worry about."

As soon as Daniel felt the belt give way, he threw it over his shoulder and scrambled for the door. Jack was fast enough to catch him as he tumbled out of the truck, keeping him from falling into a heap on the ground.

Jack led him a few paces away from the truck and eased him down onto the slight curb on the side of the driveway. "Just sit down here and put your head between your knees," he instructed.

Daniel did as he was told, still shaking and gasping for breath.

"Deep breaths, Daniel," Jack said.

Jack's voice was gentle and soothing, and he sat down next to him and rubbed Daniel's back as he tried to get himself back under control. Daniel wished he knew how to tell him how much he appreciated that, but all he could do was just not push him away.

"Better?" Jack asked after Daniel had taken a few deep breaths and was starting to calm down again.

Daniel nodded, and Jack clapped him lightly on the back.

"Good job," he said. "That's what you've got to do from now on when something gets you going like that, okay? Just relax, take some deep breaths, and tell yourself there's no reason to be afraid."

"I'm not afraid," Daniel was quick to deny. "It just... happens."

"It's the chemical imbalance in your brain, Daniel," Janet said.

Daniel turned his head to look at her. He'd almost forgotten she was there. "Will it go away?" he asked.

Janet looked at Jack and then nodded. "Soon."

Daniel felt as though she was lying about that, but he didn't have the energy to argue. His panic attacks always wiped him out, and all he wanted to do was lie down and sleep the rest of the day away.

"Come on, Daniel, let's get you inside," Jack said, seeming to read his mind.

Daniel allowed Jack to help him to his feet, and he leaned heavily on his arm as Jack guided him up the porch steps. Janet went ahead and unlocked the red door, and a moment later they were all inside.

He looked up at the sound of footsteps barrelling down the stairs to his right.

"Daniel! You're home!"

It was a good thing Jack still had hold of his arm, because otherwise Cassie would surely have knocked Daniel right off his feet. She all but flew at him and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "It's so good to see you up and about again!"

Daniel smiled and patted her back. "Thanks, Cassie. It's good to see you again."

She finally peeled herself off of him and stepped back to beam him a smile. "So, do you recognize the place?" she asked.

Daniel took a tentative look around, his nervousness starting to grow again when he realized all eyes in the room were upon him. He could see that he was in the living room - a very nice looking living room - but he didn't recognize any of the furnishings. There were a couple of items on the mantle that he recognized as having belonged to him, things that he vaguely remembered picking up here and there on his travels, but other than that, it may as well have been the home of a complete stranger.

Until he saw the picture that had center stage on the side table that ran along one wall of the room. It was a picture of him, smiling happily with his arms around the waist of an equally happy Janet Fraiser. Their cheeks were pressed together as they posed for the camera while seated at a low table in what looked like a Moroccan restaurant. He could see that he was dressed in a suit and tie, and Janet was... well, stunning, with her hair pinned up in an attractive coif and wearing a somewhat low-cut black dress that seemed to accentuate her trim yet curvy figure to her great advantage.

Daniel suddenly found upon seeing this photograph that he could no longer deny the reality of his relationship with this woman. It scared the hell out of him.

Janet's voice broke through his swirling thoughts just as they were starting to lead him towards panic again. "Daniel? Are you alright?"

He looked at her closely for a long moment, trying to see what he must have seen in her not that long before. He couldn't. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't understand it. She was beautiful, yes; she was a lovely person, yes... but a lover? What the hell had he been thinking?

"No," he answered just as Jack, Janet, and Cassie were starting to exchange worried glances. "I'm tired. I'm very... tired."

Jack patted Daniel's arm and looked at Janet. "Will you guys be okay if I take off?"

"We'll be fine, Colonel," Janet replied. "Thank you."

"Daniel?" Jack took him by the shoulders and turned him so they were looking directly at each other. "Behave."

"Course I will," Daniel said, sounding grumpier than he'd intended to.

"Good. See you later, Doc. Bye, Cass."

With that, Jack was gone. Daniel couldn't help but feel slightly abandoned.

"So..." Janet said, sounding uncomfortable now that it was just the three of them. Daniel knew the feeling. "I guess we should get you back into bed."

Daniel nodded.

"The bedrooms are upstairs," she said. "Think you can manage that?"

"Yes." He wasn't so sure, actually, but he'd be damned if he'd admit it.

"Okay. Come on, then." Janet took his arm and led him over to the staircase.

Daniel felt the urge to wrench his arm away from her, but he knew he'd be safest having someone hold onto him just in case. He held onto the banister with the other hand and started to climb.

By the time they got to the top of the stairs, Cassie was nowhere in sight. Daniel felt rather uneasy about that. He'd hoped he wouldn't have to be completely alone with Janet for a little while at least.

She led him into the first doorway on the left. To Daniel's great relief, his legs didn't give out on him before he made it over to the big bed in the middle of the room. He even had enough energy to look around at the décor, which he found to be a lot more feminine than he ever remembered his bedrooms being. "This was m... _our_... room?" he asked.

Janet seemed a little embarrassed by this question. "Yes," she replied. "Do you recognize anything?"

He shook his head. "No. Nothing."

"Well, most of the artifacts and knick knacks you brought with you ended up in your office downstairs," she said. "I'll take you down there and show you once you've had some rest."

"Okay." He sat down on the edge of the bed and cleared his throat as he continued to scan the room.

Janet shifted her weight from one foot to the other, obviously just as uncomfortable as he was. "Um... I thought you'd like to have the bedroom, and I could set myself up on the pullout couch downstairs. That way..."

"I don't want to put you out," Daniel cut in quickly.

"You're not," she said, forcing a smile. "I don't mind."

Daniel looked over his shoulder at the bed. It was fairly large and looked very comfortable. He could do this... he really could. He wet his lips and swallowed the lump in his throat. He was going to do this whether he felt he could or not.

"You should stay here."

Janet blinked. "You mean, you'd rather take the couch?"

"No. Everything should be as it was," Daniel said firmly. At the anxious look on Janet's face, however, he suddenly realized the position he was putting her in. "Unless you don't want to..."

She shook her head, looking rather self-conscious. "Whatever you want is fine. As long as you're sure."

"I am. Which side was mine?"

"The left," Janet said without hesitation.

Daniel looked at the nightstand on the left side of the bed, and sure enough, there was his clock. He scooted up farther onto the bed and sat up against the headboard as he examined the other articles on the little table. There was a notebook full of notes written in his handwriting, a pen with "Daniel" written along its length in gold letters, a journal that he didn't even dare to open, and a book on ancient Greece that was obviously there for his late-night reading sessions.

Yes, this was his side of the bed, alright. Daniel's stomach took to performing somersaults as he thought of what else he must have done in this bed. He felt his cheeks begin to heat up, and he turned slightly so that Janet couldn't see.

"I need to sleep," he said. "Is that okay?"

"Absolutely. Your clothes are in the closet if you'd like to find something more comfortable to sleep in. Just call me if you need anything."

"Okay."

She turned to go, but stopped in the doorway to look back at him. "I'm glad you're home, Daniel," she said. To Daniel's surprise, it sounded as though she really was.

"Thank you," was all he was able to say in return.

She smiled and left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Daniel kicked off his shoes and lay back on the bed fully clothed. This was going to be a long day, he could tell, and he didn't even want to think about the coming night.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	28. Chapter 28

**Mind Fever - Chapter 28**

  
  
"How is he?" Cassie asked as Janet entered the kitchen.

Janet sighed and plopped down into a chair at the table. "He seems fine," she said. "Better than I expected, really. He's taking a nap now."

"I saw him freak out in the driveway. What happened?"

Janet rubbed her face with her hand, delicately touching the skin around her eye to test whether or not it still hurt. It did, but not as badly as before. "He was just a little overwhelmed by it all for a minute," she said. "He's starting to be able to control himself again now, so I don't think we have to worry when things like that happen."

Cassie looked relieved. "Good."

"Now that Daniel's home, I want you to head back to school on Monday," Janet said in her strictest tone.

"Mom," Cassie moaned. "He just got here! Can't I spend a week with him, at least?"

"Monday. You'll fall too far behind if you're away much longer."

Cassie rolled her eyes, but didn't argue. "Are you sure you can do this alone?" she asked in all seriousness.

Janet was touched by her daughter's concern. "Yes, we'll be fine. Don't worry. Even if something were to go wrong, Sam and Colonel O'Neill are just a phone call away."

Cassie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay. But I'll be home on weekends as always."

"Of course."

The two of them continued to chat quietly for a while, until Cassie decided to take her watercolours outside and paint a portrait of the house for her friends back at college. Janet took the opportunity to put a load of laundry on, and then sat down to have a light snack.

Some time later, Janet suddenly realized she hadn't heard a sound from Daniel in a while. A glance at her watch showed her it was 1600 hours, and they had arrived home just after noon. She wasn't sure whether she should leave him alone or check on him to make sure he was alright.

After some deliberation, she settled on the latter.

She tiptoed up the stairs and paused in front of the bedroom door to listen for any sign that he was awake. Hearing nothing, she cracked the door open and peeked inside.

Daniel was fast asleep on the bed, still fully clothed except for his shoes.

Janet smiled and stepped into the room to get a closer look at him. She could see as she drew near that his sleep was anything but peaceful, as his forehead was creased and his eyes were moving frantically behind his closed lids. Still, the sight of him lying there, alive and more or less well, was enough to make her legs give out from under her in relief. She dropped to her knees by the side of the bed as it all sank in. Daniel was home!

She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around him and cover him in kisses, but she didn't want to disturb his sleep or frighten him. So, instead she just knelt there watching him, drinking in the sight of him back where he belonged.

It wasn't long, though, before he started tossing his head from side to side and making quiet whimpering sounds. Janet wasn't sure what to do. He was clearly having some kind of nightmare, and she wasn't sure whether to just allow it to play out or wake him up. The second choice could prove to be risky if he lashed out, but the first was tearing her apart.

"Please, no," he groaned, as he grew more and more restless. "Please... Sha're..."

Janet's heart sank at these words. It couldn't be a coincidence that he would be dreaming about losing Sha're just as he had arrived home. He was missing his wife. That was the life he wanted to lead, not the life he had been building with Janet and Cassie over the past months. It was a kick in the teeth to her, unintentional though it may be.

She stood up and gently lowered herself down onto the bed beside him. "Daniel?" Her voice was quiet, but she hoped it was just loud enough to wake him.

Daniel didn't seem to hear her, and his distress just seemed to grow.

She reached out a hand and touched his face. "Daniel?"

Before she knew what was happening, Daniel's eyes flew open and he grabbed her wrist. Within a split second, he'd bolted upright and shoved her down to lie on her back across the bed.

"Daniel, it's Janet!" she gasped as he loomed over her with eyes wide in disorientation and panic. "It's okay! You were having a dream."

He looked confused for a moment as her words began to sink in. "Janet?"

"Yes, it's me. Can you let me up now?"

Daniel blinked, nodded, and released his hold on her wrist. As soon as he sat back against his pillow, Janet slowly sat up, watching him warily the entire time.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Fine. Sorry. Did I hurt you?"

She took a quick mental inventory and found that she had no new aches or pains. "No, you didn't," she replied. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know," he said with a frown. "You... startled me."

"Was it a nightmare?"

He didn't answer, just looked down at his hands.

"Do you want to talk..."

"I'm hungry."

Janet knew better by now than to push the issue. "Okay," she said, rising from the bed. "What would you like to eat?"

He shrugged. "What do you have?"

"How about I bring you your favourite?"

He looked up at her in suspicion. "What's that?"

"You'll see," she said with a smile. Then she quickly left the room.

Preparing Daniel's dinner was almost as nerve-racking as bringing him home had been. She wanted to get everything just right so that maybe, just maybe, he would remember how much he had always enjoyed her cooking.

His favourite meal had always been her stir-fried rice - simple, yet tasty. She combined it with an assortment of his favourite vegetables, soy sauce, and spices, and he just couldn't get enough. She hoped that would still be the case now.

Once it was ready, she put everything he would need on a breakfast tray and took it upstairs to their room. Daniel was still sitting on the bed where she'd left him.

"Here you are," she said, trying to sound cheerful and relaxed. She put the tray on the bed, its legs on either side of Daniel's. "Enjoy."

Daniel picked up his fork and poked at the food on his plate. "What is it?"

"Stir-fried rice and vegetables," she replied. "You've always loved it."

He gave her a doubtful look, but took a tentative bite anyway. After carefully chewing and swallowing the tiny mouthful, he nodded. "Thank you," he said, and then slowly took another bite.

Janet smiled. She couldn't believe how good it made her feel that he still liked it.

She busied herself with tidying up the bedroom and adjoining bathroom a bit while he ate, gathering any laundry she came across, putting things back where they belonged if they were out of place, and changing the towels in the bathroom, just so she could keep a subtle eye on Daniel. He seemed to be watching her, too, but by the time she'd run out of jobs to pretend to be doing, he'd finished his meal.

"Very good," she said as she took his tray. "Do you feel like coming back downstairs?"

"Not really," he said. "I'm still really tired. I don't think I can manage the stairs again."

Janet tried to hide her disappointment. "Okay... what would you like to do for the rest of the evening?"

He shrugged. "What I did in the infirmary, I guess. Just sit here until I feel like sleeping again."

Janet sighed and set the tray at the foot of the bed. She sat down beside him and laid her hand on his arm. "Daniel... I know it's hard and all you want to do is sleep the days away... but you have to start stimulating yourself again. If not physically, then at least mentally. How about I get you a book to read?"

Daniel bit his lip. "I, um... I don't read very well anymore."

Janet's insides lurched as she realized her blunder. "I'm sorry... I'm sure it'll improve with time," she assured him. "Maybe you just need to practise."

He didn't look convinced, but Janet got up and found a book for him anyway. It was just a light fictional novel that was sitting on their bookcase; one that Cassie had bought her one year for her birthday. As far as she knew, Daniel had never read it. He hadn't had much time for novels, preferring to read more intellectual or educational books instead. It was just the kind of book that would be good for him now, though - relatively simple to follow and not full of words that he might find hard to understand.

"Thank you," he said half-heartedly as he accepted it from her.

She tucked her finger under his chin and lifted it so he was looking up at her. "Cheer up, Daniel," she said kindly. "This will all be over before you know it."

He nodded, though he didn't look convinced.

As much as Janet wanted to stay with him, she knew he didn't want her hovering around him all the time. After giving him one last encouraging smile, she left him alone to read in peace.

A few minutes later, she was sitting in the living room with a book of her own when she heard the upstairs toilet flush. She smiled to herself as once again it hit her that Daniel was home and getting well again, slowly but surely. She wondered how long it would be before little things like that would stop seeming like little miracles to her.

"Janet?"

She was on her feet in an instant when she heard him call her name from the top of the stairs. "Yes, Daniel?"

"Where's the dog?"

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at him in surprise. "Leroy?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's his name. Where's Leroy?"

Janet's heart soared. He remembered Leroy? Yes, things were definitely looking up. "He's been outside all day," she explained, barely able to get the words out of her mouth in her excitement. "I didn't want him to disturb you, so Cassie set him up out there in his kennel before you arrived."

Daniel shuffled his feet, holding onto the wall for support. "Can you let him in?"

"Yes, of course." Could she let him in? She'd let every dog in the neighbourhood in if Daniel wanted them.

She wasted no time in going to the backdoor and calling for Cassie. The girl was still sitting in the yard with Leroy at her feet, just finishing up her painting by the looks of it. Janet asked her to let the dog off his chain, and as soon as she did so, he came running over to Janet happily.

"Hey, Leroy," she greeted him, ruffling his soft fur affectionately. "Guess who's home?" She let the dog inside and coaxed him to follow her over to the stairs.

Daniel was no longer waiting on the landing, so she took Leroy upstairs and watched as he bounded ahead of her into the bedroom. The laughter she heard a moment later was enough to give her a mental image of the scene before she even stepped into the room. Leroy, so happy to see his 'master' again, had leaped up onto the bed and was currently trying his best to lick Daniel's face. Daniel seemed equally as happy to see him, though he was trying his best to _not_ have his face licked.

Janet watched them with a feeling of contentment enfolding her like a blanket. Leroy had always had a fondness for Daniel over all of the other men in their lives, and over the six years that she'd had him, the two of them had struck up quite a bond. Janet and Cassie were perhaps the only people who knew just how much of a dog lover Daniel was deep down inside. Leroy was really the first he'd ever had.

"Can he stay?" Daniel asked, looking and sounding like a ten year old that wanted to keep the poor, abandoned puppy as a pet.

"Of course he can," Janet replied. Like she could take him away now.

Daniel smiled and buried his face in the dog's furry coat. Janet had to quickly duck out of the room to hide the depth of her emotions at the scene she was witnessing.

The rest of the evening passed quickly for Janet. She and Cassie had their dinner and sat and watched a movie on television, while Daniel read a bit of his book as he absently stroked Leroy. The dog seemed to have taken up residence in the middle of their bed, which would normally have annoyed Janet, but this time she was willing to make an exception. He seemed to have a calming effect on Daniel that no one and nothing else had been able to achieve.

Finally, the time came for everyone to go to bed.

Janet changed into her nightgown in the bathroom and nervously entered the bedroom to find Daniel still sitting there with Leroy, apparently engrossed in his book.

"How are you doing with that?" she asked. "Can you read it alright?"

Daniel glanced up at her for a second, but then looked back at his book. "Yeah, it's fine."

"Good." She turned back the covers and climbed in beside him.

Daniel cleared his throat and rubbed Leroy's ears almost harshly.

"I see you found your sweats," Janet observed. He'd finally changed out of the pants and shirt he'd come home in and was wearing the sweatpants and zip-necked sweatshirt he wore for lounging around and sleeping in on cold nights.

"Yeah," he said. He snapped his book shut and placed it on his nightstand. Then he took his glasses off and put them on top of it.

"Ready for lights out?" she asked, her hand at her lamp.

"Yeah." He switched off his own lamp and turned on his side away from her.

Leroy looked over at Janet as if to ask why Daniel had suddenly turned his back on him, so she gave the dog a reassuring pat. "Night, Daniel," she said as she turned off the light.

He didn't respond, though she could tell he was still awake.

Never before had she felt so grateful for Leroy's presence. She understood then why Daniel had asked for him to stay. He was their safety net - as long as he was there, they didn't have to think about being alone together in the same bed.

She sighed and mirrored Daniel's actions, turning on her side with her back to his. She was sure she wouldn't sleep a wink.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	29. Chapter 29

**Mind Fever - Chapter 29**

  
  
Daniel's first night at 'home' felt like an eternity. He lay awake for hours, and when he finally did sleep, he was plagued with nightmares. The faces of Apophis, Hathor, and various other Goa'ulds invaded his mind every time he closed his eyes, though he still couldn't pinpoint specific things that they had done to him. He just saw them leering at him and felt afraid. He wanted to run away but found that he couldn't. He woke up each time panting for breath and not remembering where he was.

After each nightmare, he would lie awake listening for any kind of sound coming from Janet's direction. Sometimes he could have sworn that she was awake, but she never spoke and never moved. He was glad of that. It was uncomfortable enough being in the same bed with her, let alone having to talk to her.

Leroy's comforting warmth on his back kept Daniel sane that night, or at least that's how he saw it. If it hadn't been for that, he would have run screaming from the room at some point, he was sure. As it was, he had to keep fingering the pendant around his neck and taking deep breaths to calm himself down as each nightmare ended.

It had been during his trip to the bathroom earlier that day that he'd realized what his pendant signified. When he'd seen it in the mirror, he'd leaned in for a closer look and saw that it was engraved with a symbol of a bear. He remembered Sam telling him who had given it to him and what it was for, and as the bear often symbolized power and healing in various cultures, there was no doubt in his mind as to the sincerity behind the gesture. He couldn't explain why, but wearing it gave him a great deal of comfort.

Once the sun started rising, Daniel heard Janet slip out of bed and head into the bathroom. He kept his eyes closed until she was gone, pretending to be asleep. Once he was alone, he breathed a sigh of relief. 'Now for another day,' he thought. 'Wonderful.'

He heard the shower start up, and it triggered a sudden flashback. He was standing at the bathroom sink shaving, watching out of the corner of his eye as Janet shed her nightgown and stepped into the shower...

The memory was too much for him to handle. He threw the covers aside and practically jumped out of the bed, startling Leroy in the process. "Come on, boy, let's go downstairs," he muttered as he quickly crossed the room and opened the door to the hall.

Leroy obediently hopped down from the bed and trotted out of the room and down the stairs. Daniel went to follow him, wanting to get as far away from Janet as possible, but when he got to the top of the stairs he froze. He knew he shouldn't attempt to go down them on his own, but he couldn't wait around for Janet to finish her shower. He glanced over at Cassie's bedroom door, but decided against waking her up just to act as his crutch. He could do this. It wasn't like he'd never done it before.

He took a deep breath and clutched the banister for dear life. After a moment of hesitation, he started his descent.

With each step he took, he could feel the strain in his knees. He couldn't believe how weak he'd become in the past ten days. He'd lost a lot of weight, too - his pants hung loose around his waist and his sweatshirt seemed as though it was used to fitting him more snugly. His favourite clothes always wore into his shape, and they just didn't feel as comfortable as they should. He wondered whether he'd ever be fit and healthy again.

Somehow, he managed to make it down the entire staircase without falling and breaking his neck, but by the time he reached the bottom landing, he was completely out of breath. He leaned against the wall for a moment to regain his strength before he started down the hall towards the kitchen.

The dawn light was streaming through the window above the sink, so he got a pretty good look at the room as soon as he entered. It was small but functional, which, he mused, was a lot like Janet. That thought confused him as soon as it crossed his mind, so he pushed it aside and concentrated on examining the room.

At first glance, nothing looked familiar to him. Well, except for the standard appliances, but most coffee makers did tend to look the same. He didn't understand how he could have lived here if he hadn't so much as left a mark in most rooms of the house.

When he came to the refrigerator, however, he stopped and stared at the objects attached to its door. There were the typical school picture magnets here and there with Cassie's smiling face looking up at him, as well as a set of junk food magnets in the shape of a hot dog, slice of pizza, ice cream cone, and so on, but what caught his eye was the Egyptian pharaoh magnet that graced the center of the door. He remembered being given that magnet back in his college days, though who had given it to him and why was a complete blank. It took him by surprise to find that he'd brought it with him to this place and that it was still being used.

Even more surprising to him was what it was being used to hold up - a picture of himself and Janet standing on either side of Cassie with their arms around her shoulders at what must have been her high school graduation. He, or the him in the picture, looked downright proud of her as he beamed at the camera. Daniel blinked hard and looked away. It was just too much to take in.

He left the kitchen then and opened the first door he came across in the hall between the kitchen and living room. His breath caught in his throat as he stepped inside the room. He'd found his "office."

Bookcases lined two of the four walls, filled to overflowing with books and folders and even the occasional artifact. A beautiful oak desk stood across from the door, covered with papers and books that he recognized as being stacked according to his usual system, along with a computer and various other items. A set of shelves housed many artifacts and things, all of which he recognized for what they were, but some of which he didn't recall owning. All in all, he found it undeniable that this room was one hundred percent his. The photograph of him sitting on the back of a camel with the great pyramid looming in the background was even sitting on one of the shelves.

He went over to the desk to get a better look at the objects on its surface. He knew that expecting to find his one and only picture of Sha're sitting there facing his chair would be too much to expect, but his heart seemed to fall down into his shoes when he saw a picture of Janet there in Sha're's place. He clenched his jaw and tried to keep his anger buried inside as he turned the frame facedown on the desk. Then he sank down into the chair and started opening the drawers.

Within seconds, he found it. Sha're's photograph - the one he himself had taken the last time they had been together before she died. He had gone to Abydos expecting to have to break the news to Kasuf that Sha're was still missing, but when he'd arrived he'd found her there, no longer being controlled by the demon within her, but heavily pregnant with Apophis' child. He'd known deep down that it might be the last time they could be together, so he'd convinced her to pose for a picture using the camera he'd thankfully been wise enough to bring along. He'd treasured that picture forever afterwards... until he'd fallen in with Janet, it seemed.

Rage started welling up in his chest as he clutched the picture to his heart. How could he ever have stuffed his beloved wife away in a desk drawer like she was no more than an old habit that needed to be broken? "Sha're, I'm so sorry!" he said through his tears, not even realizing that he had spoken in Abydonian. He sat there for a long moment, cradling the photograph and rocking back and forth in his sorrow.

When he finally couldn't stand his growing anger any longer, he set the picture carefully down and stormed out of the room. He headed straight for the front door, turned the lock, opened it, and stepped outside, slamming it behind him.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Janet took her own sweet time in the shower, positioning herself just right so the warm water hit her aching shoulders and cascaded down her back. It felt as good as a massage. She figured she deserved it after the night she'd had.

She'd barely slept a wink as she lay there listening to Daniel moaning and thrashing about, having nightmare after nightmare. She'd almost gone to wake him up a few times, or comfort him when she'd heard him lay there panting for breath once they were over, but she knew that doing so would most likely upset him even more. She couldn't risk that, especially on his first night back at home. She didn't want anything to make him more uncomfortable about being there.

So, she'd pretended to be asleep, even though keeping to herself had almost killed her. She remembered many times when Daniel was either in the infirmary or here at home when he'd had nightmares about one thing or another. He had always welcomed her attempts to comfort him and talk about what was on his mind. She missed that. She missed his arms wrapping around her waist in the middle of the night. She missed their early morning conversations as they woke up together and discussed what they had planned for the day ahead.

She missed Daniel.

As soon as the water started to cool, she shut it off and stepped out of the tub. She took her time towelling dry, too, lost in memories of all the times she and Daniel had gone about their morning routine together.

He would be standing at the sink shaving while she showered, and once she was finished, he would step into the shower while she dressed and did her hair. Once he was done, she would give him a kiss and go off to start breakfast while he got dressed. They'd had it down to a fine art within days of him moving in.

She couldn't help but wonder whether they would ever be that in sync with each other again.

Once she was dressed, she quietly opened the door and entered the bedroom, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw that Daniel was no longer there. She went out into the hallway and saw that he wasn't out there, either. Surely he hadn't gone downstairs by himself?

"Daniel?" she called, keeping her voice low so she wouldn't wake Cassandra.

Just then, she heard heavy footsteps in the hall below her. She made it to the top of the stairs just in time to see the front door open and slam shut.

"Daniel?" she cried as she jogged down the stairs. Fear gripped her heart as her mind went through all of the possible scenarios she might find herself in the middle of when she opened that door. Was Daniel hallucinating again? Was he trying to run away? Was he angry about something? What would he do when he saw her?

Just in case, she peeked out of the window by the front door before she went ahead and opened it. She couldn't see him, and that frightened her all the more.

Throwing the door open, she practically ran outside. "Da..." She had just started to call his name when she caught sight of something big and dark out of the corner of her eye. She turned to find Daniel sitting on the wooden porch swing to the right of the door, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Daniel? Are you okay?" she asked, taking a few steps towards him while still maintaining a safe distance.

"Please just leave me alone."

Janet hesitated, unsure of what she should do. He was clearly upset about something, and leaving him alone outside while he was feeling this way was probably a bad idea. At the same time, though, she didn't want to aggravate him further by poking her nose in where it didn't belong. It was a pretty fine line to walk.

"Okay," she said, "I'll leave you alone if you tell me what upset you."

Daniel huffed a laugh and sat back in the swing. "If I tell you about it, that kind of defeats the purpose of being left alone, don't you think?"

Janet smiled and leaned her back against the railing on the edge of the porch. "Well, you know me," she said. "I have to find out everything there is to know about a situation before I decide on a course of action."

Daniel winced and looked down at his hands. "Actually, no. I don't know you."

"Not at all?"

He looked up at her then, his gaze fixing so intensely on her face that she could almost feel the lasers he seemed to be shooting her way. She forced herself to keep an open expression that he could easily read in the hopes that he would see that he had no reason to be mistrustful of her.

"I... remember... some things," he finally said. The words seemed difficult for him to say.

"What things?"

He sighed, suddenly looking deflated. "Well, I don't remember letting go of Sha're, that's for sure," he mumbled.

"You never did, Daniel. I never asked you to, either."

He shook his head and looked down again. "I don't understand why either of us would put up with that. It sounds like all we had was some kind of 'arrangement' or something."

"Actually, we were very happy together."

He shot her a suspicious look, one Janet was coming to know quite well. "Why? I mean... why you? How did..." He waved his hand back and forth between the two of them, "...this... happen, anyway?"

Janet thought carefully about what she was going to say in reply to this question. She didn't want to put her foot in her mouth over this again. He might not give her another chance. As she was thinking, she crossed over to the swing and gently lowered herself down to sit next to him. Once she was sure this move hadn't upset him, she finally answered.

"Well, it happened pretty slowly, I guess. We were just friends for years, but one day I realized I felt much more for you than just friendship. It took me a long time to work up the courage to tell you, though. Every time you were in danger, I felt like I'd died a little myself."

She watched him closely as she spoke, and he returned her gaze, his eyes roaming over her face as though he were trying to memorize every line and every curve. She remembered him doing the same thing during the early days of their relationship, but back then there had been love in his eyes. Now there was only suspicion and perhaps a hint of curiosity.

"You know about your ascension, right?" she asked.

Daniel hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded. "I don't really remember much about it, but I know what you're talking about."

Janet gave him a brief smile. "You were gone for over a year. I was heartbroken. I felt like a part of me was missing the entire time. Then, just after you returned to us, you almost died yet again. I couldn't stand it any longer, so I finally told you how I felt."

"And what did I do?"

Janet smiled softly at the memory. "You kissed me."

Daniel blinked. "I... I what?"

Janet's smile widened into a grin. "You told me you'd been feeling the same for quite some time, and you were just glad I'd been the one to make the first move."

His eyes suddenly grew dark at this, and he turned his face away from her. "Or maybe I was just saying that because I was desperate," he muttered.

Janet felt like she'd been punched in the gut. "That was uncalled for," she said quietly.

He glanced over at her again, his eyes pained. "Sorry," he said. "I just can't..."

"I know you can't, Daniel," Janet cut in. "But you did." She suddenly got an idea, and she stood up from the swing and held her hand out to him. "Come on. I'll show you."

He looked up at her for a long moment, and she could tell he was battling to control himself. Whether it was fear or anger that was simmering just below the surface she couldn't quite tell, but she knew that with one wrong move he was likely to blow. She didn't let it intimidate her, however, and stood there with her hand outstretched towards him without wavering for an instant.

Finally, he raised his hand and slowly clasped it around hers. Janet silently cheered as he rose to his feet and followed her back into the house.

"What do you want to show me?" he asked.

"You'll see," Janet replied as she let go of his hand and headed for the cabinet in the living room.

"Mind if I go to the bathroom first?"

Janet almost denied his request, until she realized that he probably hadn't gone since he woke up. "Sure, go ahead. Just don't be long."

He didn't respond, just turned and left the room. Janet thought for sure he wouldn't come back willingly, but two minutes later, there he was. He sank down onto the couch with a heavy sigh and looked at her as if for instruction.

Janet sat down next to him, a small photo album in her hands. "This is what I wanted to show you," she said, opening the cover and placing it in his lap.

Daniel stared down at the picture displayed on the first page. It was of Colonel O'Neill, Sam, Teal'c, Daniel, and Janet all sitting around in Colonel O'Neill's living room, smiling and obviously having a fun, relaxing time together. Daniel and Janet were sitting together on his couch, Daniel's arm draped casually around her shoulders.

"Cassie took that picture about six months ago," Janet told him. "That was just after we started seeing each other. We were having a sort of mock celebration for Sam after her 'space race.'"

Daniel looked at her in surprise. "Space race?"

Janet smiled. "Long story." She turned the page and pointed to the next picture. "This was later that same night."

Daniel flinched at the picture of the two of them sharing a sweet kiss as Sam and Cassie made disgusted faces at the camera.

"They were merciless that night," Janet said, laughing at the memory. "We'd just told them about us, and Colonel O'Neill kept playfully insisting we must be kidding. He kept on telling you to kiss me and prove it, and you kept on saying no, until all of a sudden you just leaned over and planted one on me. As you can see, we got quite a reaction."

Daniel swallowed hard and looked at the next picture without saying a word. This one was a picture of Janet, sitting on the very couch they were on now with her legs curled up under her, looking up at the camera with a shy smile on her face.

"You took that one of me," she said. "We were sitting here talking one evening and you kept on telling me how beautiful I looked. I kept teasing that you were only trying to flatter me, so you told me not to move and went to fetch the camera."

Again, he didn't react, just moved on to the next photograph. An odd look passed over his face when he saw that it was him, lying fast asleep on their bed amid a pile of coats.

"I took that one," Janet said. "It was just after Cassie's eighteenth birthday party. You were exhausted that day. You'd just returned to Earth the night before from being stranded on a world that was experiencing a great flood. You'd gone there to help the people evacuate, but there had been a malfunction with the gate and you were stuck. I'd been so worried about you, thinking I was never going to see you again. When you finally came back, I wasn't even on the base. I didn't see you until the next night, at Cassie's party. You disappeared partway through the festivities, and when I went looking for you I found you on my bed, sound asleep on everyone's coats. I just had to take a picture."

Daniel glanced over at her, his expression unreadable. "Why are you showing me all of this?"

"I'm just trying to make you see what our life together was all about, Daniel. It was nothing for you to be afraid of, nor ashamed of. You told me just before you became ill that no matter what happened, you would never regret our time together. We were so happy, Daniel." Her voice finally broke on the last sentence when it seemed that none of her words were breaking through.

He wordlessly turned back to the photo album and moved on to the next page. It was filled with more pictures of the two of them with the rest of SG-1 and Cassie, their makeshift family. None of them seemed to trigger a memory in him, however, until he flipped the page again.

This page was filled with pictures from Cassie's graduation party. Daniel stopped and stared at a picture of Janet leaning over the back of his chair with her arms wrapped around his neck, saying something to Cassie who was sitting cross-legged at Daniel's feet. "I think... I think I remember this."

Janet leaned forward, barely able to contain her excitement. "Oh?"

"That was Cassie's graduation, right?" he asked.

"Yes!" Janet said, nodding and grinning like a lunatic.

"Yeah... she had a big party with all her friends. We made her a cake that looked like... a painter's palette?"

"That's right."

The corners of Daniel's mouth turned up slightly, her excitement finally rubbing off on him a little. "Yeah. Then after the party we..."

His voice broke off in the middle of his thought, and his face fell into an even more sorrowful, pained look than before. He snapped the album shut and jumped to his feet. "I don't want to look at these anymore. I need some more fresh air." Without a backwards glance, he walked straight to the front door and let himself out.

Janet had to bite her lip to keep from crying. She knew exactly what he had remembered - the night of Cassie's party, the girl had gone off with a bunch of her friends for a slumber party, and Daniel and Janet had been left with the house to themselves. That had been the first night they'd made love, and it had cemented their relationship for what they had then felt was forever. Daniel had moved in soon afterwards, they were so sure that this was it for them.

The thought of Daniel remembering that wonderful night and being disgusted by it made Janet feel ashamed, embarrassed, and betrayed. In that moment, she gave up hoping that they would somehow return to the way they had been before the mind fever had struck. The best she could probably hope for was that they could regain the friendship they'd had for so many years before it had turned into love. Yet even that seemed like an unattainable goal at the moment.

Resigning herself to this realization, she got up and put the photo album back where it belonged. She wouldn't try to push him any more, she resolved. She would take care of him until he was well no matter what, but if that were all he wanted her to be - his doctor - she would have to respect that.

With that thought in mind, she made her way into the kitchen to make breakfast.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	30. Chapter 30

**Mind Fever - Chapter 30**

  
  
Daniel didn't know how he managed to survive those first few days with Janet. He seemed to be in a constant state of confusion, with part of him remembering what it had been like to love this woman and the other part of him wishing they'd never even met. The memories that were slowly returning to him were all out of order, and he couldn't seem to straighten them out in his mind so they would make sense. It made him wish he'd just lost his memory completely and been done with the whole thing.

He kept to himself for most of the first two days, sitting outside on the porch as much as possible just to get away from the two women inside. Cassandra would sometimes come out and park herself in the swing next to him whether he wanted to be left alone or not, but thankfully Janet respected his privacy and didn't push him into spending any more time with her than was strictly necessary.

Mealtimes were tense and silent, the only relief being Cassie's adolescent chatter that kept him from having to converse with her mother. Cassie was a godsend for him, really. She was the only one who acted anywhere close to normal around him. He appreciated that.

At night he had Leroy sleeping beside him and could almost forget that Janet was there, too. It was bad enough that he'd suddenly remembered the first night they'd slept together. He was determined to stick to his initial resolve that everything should be as it was before, but that didn't make the situation any less uncomfortable for both of them.

He spent the rest of his time either struggling to read the novel Janet had given him or watching television. His reading skills were beginning to improve, but not enough that he could do any kind of work. In other words, he was bored out of his skull and feeling more and more restless by the moment.

It didn't help his mood any that he still had the occasional hallucination and spent each night having nightmare after nightmare. The first couple of hallucinations threw him into panic attacks and left him cowering in the corner thinking there were monsters and aliens out to get him. Janet came to him then, touching him and trying to calm him down, and that only made matters worse. If for no other reason than to get Janet off his back, he tried to get himself to see those hallucinations for what they were - figments of his own imagination - and to just ignore them whenever they occurred.

By the time he saw a symbiote slither across the kitchen floor while he was eating dinner on the second day, he had realized that there was a certain floaty feeling he would get in his head just before each hallucination. This knowledge was exactly what he needed in order to stop himself from panicking over it and thinking it was real. He didn't even let Janet know about that one. He just closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and went back to eating his meal.

He was surprised and a bit offended that none of his other friends ever stopped by during his first days back at home. He overheard Janet talking on the phone a few times, though, and it sounded as though she was talking to Jack. The fact that Jack obviously never asked to speak to him just made him mad. Why couldn't they all just go back to the way they were before? Why did everyone either avoid him or tiptoe around him like he was going to explode at any moment? Strangely enough, it just made him want to withdraw into himself even more.

It was Sunday, his third full day at home, when Sam came by. She brought the healing device with her, and wasted no time in getting down to business. He wished she would sit and talk to him for a while first, but she seemed to be in a hurry for some reason she wouldn't tell.

As usual, once she had given him his treatment he passed out, and by the time he woke up again, she was gone. In fact, he seemed to be completely alone. Paranoia swept over him like a wave of ice-cold water, and he rose shakily to his feet and stumbled through to the kitchen. No one was there, either.

He called out for Janet, but received no reply. He tried calling for Cassie, but heard only silence. He even called for Leroy, but the dog was nowhere to be found.

His panic was just starting to take over when he heard the front door. He rushed through to the living room, his fear swiftly turning into anger when he saw Janet there, casually taking off her jacket. "Where the hell have you been?"

Janet stared at him, dumbfounded.

"What, you just left me alone after having a delicate procedure done on my brain?" he shouted. "I could have had a seizure or something, and no one would have been here to help me!"

"Calm down, Daniel," she said, her voice shaking a little and her eyes wide. "I just went next door for a moment. You must have woken up just as I left."

Daniel was too angry by this point to listen to reason. "Oh, you want me to calm down, do you? How would you feel if you were in my place, huh? I passed out when the house was full of people who were supposedly taking care of me, and woke up completely alone!"

"Would you please stop shouting at me?" Janet was starting to get every bit as angry as he was, he could tell. "For a man who wants to be left alone all the time, you sure don't seem to like it when it happens. I would have thought you'd try to be more pleasant to be around if you don't want me walking out the door at every opportunity."

He wanted to hit her. He wanted so badly to slap that look from her face and make her feel just as afraid as she had made him feel. At the same time, he knew that hitting her would be the lowest, most abominable thing he could ever do.

His mind started whirling, his thoughts all jumbled up and confused, wanting to lash out but trying with all of his might to restrain himself. Then the floaty feeling settled over him, and he knew he had to get away before something awful happened that would be beyond his control.

Without another word, he turned on his heel and marched straight to his office, slamming the door behind him. He leaned heavily against it and sank to the floor, panting for breath and trying to settle his mind down again.

It didn't settle down at all. He hugged his knees to his chest and buried his face in his arms as rats started swarming all around him. They crawled over his feet and bit his legs and ankles as Apophis laughed in his ear and cheered them on.

"This isn't real... oh God... I'm just hallucinating... don't have to be afraid... this isn't real..."

He hoped it would end quickly since he knew it was just in his head, but it went on and on. The rats started climbing up his body, crawling along his shoulders and arms, their claws pricking his skin and making him want to scream. When he finally couldn't stand it any longer, he leaped to his feet and started grabbing at them, trying to throw them as far away from himself as possible. He swiped at the swarms of them that covered his desk, sending books and papers flying across the room. Apophis leered at him, egging him on until Daniel threw one of his heaviest books straight at his head. Then the Goa'uld suddenly disappeared.

Daniel looked around for the rats, but they were gone, too. All that was left was the mess he had so stupidly created, his books and papers battered and torn and strewn all over the floor.

His energy completely spent, Daniel sank down into his chair, leaned his elbows on the desk, and held his head tightly in his hands. He couldn't believe what he had just done. If this had happened around Janet or Cassie... He groaned at the thought. "Oh God, what have I become?"

He couldn't think any more. His thoughts weren't making sense, and the floaty feeling still hadn't gone away. With a stifled sob, he laid his head down on the desk and let his mind drift into darkness.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Janet stood in the hall with her back pressed against the wall and her arms wrapped tightly around her waist as she listened to Daniel completely trashing his office. She couldn't believe how quickly he had gone from being sullen and withdrawn to being so angry. She knew that his reaction to each session with the healing device would vary in extremity, but she had thought he was beyond such an uncontrollable outburst. It frightened her more than she cared to admit.

When the house finally fell silent again, Janet tiptoed closer to the door and pressed her ear against it. She couldn't hear a sound, and she wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, if he had calmed down after his tantrum and just wanted to be left alone for a while, she was all too happy to oblige, but if he had hurt himself... She suddenly remembered what Brom had said to her just two weeks earlier regarding those who managed to survive the mind fever -

_"Their minds never recover, though their bodies might. None who have experienced the 'mind fever' live longer than a year after. They do not know their own families... all they know is the fear and the invisible enemies they believe surround them at all times. None can live that way for long. In the end, they take their own lives."_

She couldn't take that chance. Holding her breath in fear of what she might find, she slowly opened the door and stepped inside.

The mess was unbelievable, but her undivided attention was soon on Daniel. He was slumped forward in his chair with his arms draped across his desk, his head resting on its surface between them in what looked like a very uncomfortable position.

"Daniel?"

He didn't move a muscle at the sound of her voice, so she moved closer. "Daniel?" She began to worry when he still didn't react. She crossed the distance between them in half a second and gripped his shoulders. "Daniel?" she said again, giving him a slight shake.

When there was still no response, she pressed her fingers against his neck to check his pulse. She found that it was steady and strong, so she forced herself to relax. Sleeping. He was only sleeping. He must have worn himself out with his exertions and passed out.

The relief she felt at this was overwhelming. She realized then that she really had expected the worst.

Without thought to the consequences should he suddenly wake up, she ran her fingers through his sweat-dampened hair. It was starting to get long and unruly, she noticed. Daniel had needed a haircut before all of this mess started, and that had been two weeks ago. She rather liked it when there was some length to it, though she had never told him that. He'd told her early on in their relationship that he preferred her hair long, so she had grown it out just for him. If Daniel ever returned to normal again, maybe she should suggest he keep some length to his own.

She shook herself back to the present when she realized she was standing there critiquing the man's hair. She dropped her hand to his shoulder and let it linger there as she tried to decide what to do. She was reluctant to wake him up, as she didn't know how he would react to that, but she couldn't just leave him in this uncomfortable position, either.

After much deliberation, she finally went and fetched a spare pillow and a blanket from the hall closet. She gently lifted his head and slipped the pillow under it, moving as slowly as possible so she didn't jar him awake. He didn't stir even as she slipped his glasses off his nose, lowered his arms into his lap, and covered his shoulders with the blanket. She tried not to let that worry her. It was normal for him to sleep deeply for hours after each session with the healing device, after all.

Once she was satisfied that he was as comfortable as he could be under the circumstances, she stood back to just look at him. She'd seen him sitting at his desk sound asleep countless times, but somehow this time she didn't find it as sweet as she always did in the past. She realized as she looked down at him that he didn't look like her kind, gentle, loving Daniel at all anymore. Even in his sleep, he looked cold and dangerous.

She shuddered at this thought, and quickly left the room, closing the door behind her.

For the next two hours, she paced the house restlessly, debating within herself whether or not to call Sam or Colonel O'Neill to come and help her with him. Or protect her from him, if he woke up still in a rage. She wasn't sure whether to be thankful or disappointed that Cassie had taken Leroy to the park a few blocks away to watch her friend's baseball game. She could have used the company, but she was glad her daughter hadn't been around to see him like that.

She was in the kitchen when she finally heard the door of Daniel's office open. A chill swept over her as she wondered what she should expect, and she moved a few inches to the side so she would be within reach of the phone just in case.

A moment later, Daniel shuffled into the kitchen, clutching the blanket around his shoulders. His expression, while not exactly angry, definitely said, "Stay the hell away from me," and he furrowed his brow and blinked heavily in the bright light that streamed through the windows. He glanced briefly in her direction, but didn't say a word as he headed straight past her towards the counter.

Janet watched as he reached up to open the cupboard where they kept the glasses. She noticed that he seemed a little disoriented and unsteady, so when his hand suddenly fell to the counter and he started to sway, she instinctively went to grab his arm to help him.

"Don't!" he snapped, snatching his arm away from her. He raised his hands to his head and leaned forward with his elbows on the counter.

When he didn't move for a few moments, Janet finally had to speak. "Are you alright?"

"Fine. Head's fuzzy, that's all." He lowered his hands and rubbed them against his thighs as he straightened up again. When he made another attempt to get a glass, Janet could see that his hand was shaking, and he was gripping the edge of the counter with the other for balance.

"Would you like me to..."

"I've got it," he said through clenched teeth. He grabbed a glass and banged the cupboard door closed.

Janet jumped back a step at the noise, and inwardly berated herself for doing so.

Thankfully, Daniel didn't seem to notice as he reached out a shaking hand to turn on the faucet. He quickly poured a glassful of water and gulped it down, somehow managing to do so without dropping the glass or spilling water all over himself. Once he'd drained the glass he placed it on the counter and turned around to lean back against the cupboards. "God, what did she do to me?" he whispered, cradling his head in his hands again.

"It's bad?"

From what little she could see of his face, it was clear that he was trying not to cry. His face was screwed up in that unmistakable look of inner agony that she had seen on him many times before. "That was the worst hallucination I've had yet," he said, his voice sounding tight. "There were rats... rats everywhere. The feeling hasn't gone away, and I don't know what's real. God, Janet, I don't know what's real!"

Janet's heart ached to see him breaking down like this. She laid her hand on his arm and stroked it with her thumb. When he didn't shy away from her, she wrapped her other arm around his back and leaned her head against his shoulder. He let out a quiet sob as she softly rubbed his back, and before she knew it, he'd turned and enveloped her in a tight embrace.

She was too stunned to move for a few seconds as he clung to her and buried his face in her shoulder. Once she got a hold of herself, she started stroking his back again and murmuring comforting words into his ear. She could feel the tremors coursing through his body as his tears soaked her blouse, and somehow it made her feel more connected to him than she had for a long time.

Unfortunately, it was short lived. Without warning, he suddenly pushed himself away from her and rushed out of the room.

"Daniel?" She followed him out of the kitchen, but didn't catch up in time to stop him from climbing the stairs and disappearing into their room. She didn't bother to go after him, and didn't feel like she had the energy even if she'd wanted to.

Instead, she went into the living room and sank down onto the couch to mull it all over. She didn't understand what had just happened, but if she'd understood Daniel correctly, he hadn't trashed his office in a fit of rage at all. He'd been hallucinating yet again, and this time it had been worse than ever. No wonder he had passed out and been so shaken up when he came to.

Her thoughts kept returning to the way he had embraced her so hungrily and rushed away from her so suddenly. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that despite Daniel's reluctance to let her touch him or help him in any way, deep down he still craved her comfort and support. While that seemed to confuse him a great deal, he was starting to give in to it little by little in situations such as these.

She could only see that as a step in the right direction.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	31. Chapter 31

**Mind Fever - Chapter 31**

  
  
Daniel woke up from yet another nightmare shaking and drenched in sweat. The fuzzy feeling in his head still hadn't gone away, and his nightmares tonight had been worse than ever. Whatever Sam had done to him, he failed to see how it could possibly be a good thing.

He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling for a minute or two as he tried to calm himself down. It didn't work. Shadows fluttered across the walls of the room, and he found it hard to convince himself it was just the branches of the tree outside the bedroom window swaying in the wind. They looked like hands - Unas hands. They were coming towards him, closer and closer, ready to grab him and eat him alive...

"No!" he cried, sitting up and pressing his back against the headboard.

A pair of eyes glowed in the darkness. Goa'uld eyes. He heard Janet stir next to him, and he knew he had to keep that Goa'uld as far away from her as possible. "Go away!"

"Daniel?"

She didn't know. She didn't see it, but the eyes still peered up at him, glowing an eerie yellow in the dim light from the streetlamp. He yanked his pillow out from under him and launched it at the creature, that being the only object close at hand that he could throw. "Get the hell away from me!"

It yelped and jumped down from the bed, and he watched as a small form scurried out of the room.

"Daniel, what the hell are you doing?" Janet grabbed his arms and pinned them down as he started groping around in the dark for a book to throw at the retreating figure. "It's Leroy! It's just Leroy!"

Leroy? It couldn't be... "I saw a Goa'uld. I saw it! It was right there!"

"It was the dog, Daniel," she insisted. "His eyes must have caught the light from the window. You're just hallucinating again."

"He... oh God!" Daniel groaned and lay down on his side, his back still against the headboard and his head on Janet's pillow. "Please tell me I didn't hurt him!"

"Don't worry, you didn't," she said. She stroked his arm as he buried his face in the pillow. "I think you just scared him."

Daniel gripped the hair on the back of his head so tightly in his fists that the pain took precedence over the fuzziness. "What's happening to me?" he wailed. "It's all getting worse!"

"I'm sure it isn't, Daniel." Her voice sounded close, like she was leaning down to speak into his ear. He then felt a gentle pressure against his hand and knew that she had rested her forehead against him. "I'll take you to the SGC in the morning and we'll run some tests, okay? We'll go as soon as Cassie heads back to school."

He wasn't sure whether he enjoyed this somewhat intimate contact with her or not. His feelings for her were growing more and more confusing every day, swinging from feeling like he needed her to feeling like he needed to get away from her in a matter of seconds. He still couldn't believe he'd hugged her the way he had earlier that day. He'd just suddenly been overwhelmed with emotion, and felt like he had to get as close to her as possible. It was almost as though he'd thought that holding her would make it all go away. When it hadn't, he'd realized how stupid that notion was, and had quickly made his escape before he lost control again.

Thinking about that now brought on a flashback of a passionate kiss they had shared at some time or another, her fingers laced through his hair and his hands caressing her bare shoulders as they slowly and contentedly explored each other's mouths. The memory was so vivid and felt so good that for a moment he wanted to recreate the sensation.

He slowly lifted his head and turned to face her as she sat up again. His eyes focused on her lips, he kept on moving towards her, intending to lean forward and kiss her just to find out whether it still felt the same as it had in his memory.

Before he got near enough, however, she scooted over to the edge of the bed and got up.

Daniel sighed in frustration. She wasn't interested in kissing him? Fine. It was a dumb idea anyway. Of course it wouldn't feel the same as it did before. He wasn't in love with her now, and from the looks of things, she was rapidly losing interest in him, too. And who wouldn't in her place? He was a ticking time bomb, not safe to have in your house let alone in your bed. He was amazed that she hadn't dumped him on Jack's doorstep days ago.

Janet soon returned, with Daniel's pillow in hand. "Will you be able to last the night?" she asked as she handed it to him.

Daniel flopped it back down onto the bed, punched it a couple of times, and let his head fall onto it with his face turned away from her. "I'm fine," he said. "They're just hallucinations."

"Okay." He felt her slip between the sheets and lie down beside him again. "If you have any more problems, just wake me up."

"'Kay."

They lay there in silence for what seemed like forever until Daniel finally fell back into a restless sleep.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"I'll be back on Friday afternoon," Cassie said into Daniel's chest as he hugged her goodbye. She leaned her head back to look up at him with a playful glare. "You be good, do you hear me?" she teased.

Daniel forced the corners of his mouth to turn upwards, but it ended up looking more like a grimace than a smile. "I'll try."

Cassie then turned to Janet and they wrapped their arms around each other. "Call me and let me know the results, okay?" she whispered so that only Janet could hear.

"I will," Janet whispered back. "You take care," she said louder as she pulled away.

"Okay." Cassie smiled and opened the car door. "Bye, guys."

Janet and Daniel stepped back as Cassie's friend Damian started the car. As soon as Cassie was seated inside and buckled in, he backed down the driveway and drove off down the street.

Janet glanced over at Daniel once the car was out of sight. He was standing there staring at the ground, his hands stuffed deep inside his pockets. "Are you ready to go?" she asked.

He nodded and headed to her car without a word.

They spent the entire drive to the SGC in silence. Daniel even had his face turned away from her looking out the window the whole time, so she couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling. Not that she would have known even if she could see his face. He was a complete enigma to her now.

The airman at the gate of the complex greeted them warmly, but Daniel didn't even look at him. The same thing happened at each checkpoint along the way to Level 21, and with everyone who passed them in the halls and said hello. Daniel's mouth remained set in a straight line, his eyes looking dead ahead and his hands in his pockets.

"You could say hello to people, you know," she said irritably while they were alone in the elevator. "It couldn't hurt."

"Why? So we can pretend everything's fine?" He sounded more sullen and depressed than ever.

"No, so we can be polite."

"Why bother?"

Janet stared at him open-mouthed. Was he really that lacking in social skills because of his brain damage, or was he just feeling ornery today? "Because they're people who deserve to be treated with respect, Daniel."

He shrugged and looked down at his shoes. As soon as the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened to the infirmary level, he stepped out and started walking down the hall.

Janet was two steps behind him all the way, watching his slouched back as he walked along. She never remembered seeing Daniel slouch like that before. She noticed as well that he was no longer as muscular as he had been just two weeks earlier, and she made a mental note to suggest he take up exercising again.

"Daniel! Good to see you again. Come on in."

She heard Andrew's voice from inside the medical bay before she saw him. He sounded genuinely glad to see Daniel, so she beamed a smile at him as she entered the room.

"Janet, good to see you, too," he said, returning the smile warmly. "I have to say that you two are both looking much better than when I saw you last. How have things been going?"

She glanced over at Daniel before answering, not knowing whether he would pipe in with some negative comment on how awful the past few days had been, but he just stood there looking at the floor. "It's... been up and down," she said, giving Andrew a meaningful look that hopefully told the rest of the story. "He was slowly improving until yesterday when Sam came to give him his treatment. Since then he's complained of a 'floaty' or 'fuzzy' feeling in his head, a feeling that usually only comes over him when he's about to hallucinate. He's had a couple of hallucinatory episodes, which were worse than any others he has experienced, and last night his nightmares were even more intense than usual."

"Why are you talking about me like I'm not even here?"

Janet wasn't surprised to see that Daniel was glaring at her over the rims of his glasses even though his face was still turned down towards the floor. She would normally have just shrugged it off, but because she was already overtired, she found it made her angry instead. "You're free to jump in and speak for yourself any time you want," she said.

Daniel rolled his eyes and looked away.

Andrew looked back and forth between them throughout this exchange like he was watching a tennis match. He finally settled on looking at Janet for an explanation.

"He's also been moodier than ever," she said.

"I see." Andrew nodded. "Okay, well, let's get you checked out, shall we?" He looked at Daniel and motioned for him to sit on one of the cots.

Daniel shuffled his feet as he crossed the room and climbed up onto a cot. He was silent and brooding throughout Andrew's examination, and when Andrew suggested he go for an MRI with Dr. Warner, he followed him out of the room without a word. That in itself was worrisome.

Janet wandered around the infirmary while she waited for Daniel, casting a longing look at her office as she passed it. She didn't regret her decision to take time off work while Daniel recovered, but she was so used to working almost around the clock that it was starting to feel quite strange being at home all day. If Daniel's company had been more enjoyable, she probably wouldn't have minded as much, but she often found herself wishing she could go to work just to get away from him. This thought made her feel guilty, which made her even more miserable than ever. It was a vicious cycle that she wanted out of ASAP.

"Wanting to get back to work already?"

Janet jumped and swirled around to see Andrew standing behind her. She had been staring at her office door for longer than she'd intended as she had been lost in thought, and he must have noticed. "Yes, actually," she replied. "I do miss it."

He stepped forward and laid a hand on her arm. "I really don't think there's anything to worry about with Daniel," he said. "He's recovering a lot faster than I originally expected over all. This is probably just a temporary setback caused by Major Carter activating a healing process in a part of his brain that hadn't been touched yet."

"I know," she said with a sigh. "But that doesn't make it any easier to live with."

"Has he started to... warm up to you at all?"

Janet nodded slowly. "There have been moments where he's seemed to. Then again, there have been moments when he's practically bitten my head off for one reason or another." She tried to smile and laugh at this statement, but it didn't really work. She suddenly felt very tired.

"I'm sorry," he said. The look in his eyes was so sympathetic it warmed her from head to toe. "I know this is no consolation," he continued, "but we're sending the first batch of vaccinations off tomorrow. I spoke to Brom yesterday myself, and he said his people are all very grateful to us for our help and anxious to accept whatever medicines or advice we give them. We've done a wonderful thing there, Janet, and it's mostly thanks to you and Daniel."

Janet smiled, tears filling her eyes at his words. "Thanks, Drew." She wasn't sure what else she could say, so she wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him a brief hug.

The sound of someone's throat clearing broke them apart. "Sorry to interrupt, but uh... I'm done."

Janet felt her cheeks heat up as she turned to face Daniel. It had been nothing but a friendly embrace, but for some reason she felt ashamed anyway. It certainly didn't help that the look on Daniel's face could have killed whole armies of Jaffa and he was pointedly aiming it at her.

"Daniel. There you are." She couldn't believe how idiotic the words sounded.

"That's stating the obvious," he sneered.

Yes, he actually sneered at her. Daniel, her beloved Daniel, who had not long ago only looked upon her with love and devotion smiling through his eyes, was standing there sneering at her like he was the cat and she was his pet mouse. She couldn't even respond to his comment. Words completely abandoned her and left her gaping.

"Can we go?" He directed this question over her head to Andrew.

"Yes, I don't see why not," Andrew replied. He sounded more than a little uncomfortable at the tension between the couple before him. "Either I or Dr. Warner will call you with the results of the tests once we get them."

Daniel nodded and strode towards the elevator without a backward glance.

Janet knew he would likely leave without her if she didn't follow, so she turned to go. "Thanks, Drew," she said, but before she could take a step, he grabbed her arm.

"Look," he said, his voice so low it was almost a whisper, "I know how volatile he must be right now, and that little display did nothing to assuage my fears on that score. So you have to promise me, Janet... promise me that if he hurts you, you will tell someone."

Janet was touched by his deep concern. She smiled sadly up at him. "I will. I promise."

He let go of her arm then, so Janet started to walk away. A moment later, however, he called after her, "Is Friday still on?"

Daniel had reached the elevator by this time, but he swung around at this question. He watched Janet in curiosity as he waited for her to answer.

Janet wasn't sure what to say. They had been planning a party for weeks that would serve as a joint celebration for her birthday and, just between herself and Daniel, the six-month anniversary of the day they had confessed their feelings for each other and shared their first kiss. She hadn't been sure, but she'd had a suspicion that Daniel was going to propose to her during that party, so the thought of going through with it now was almost unbearable.

A few seconds passed as Janet hesitated to think over her reply, and this didn't go unnoticed by Daniel. He took a few steps back towards her and said in a loud voice, "Aren't you going to answer him, Janet? Is Friday still on or not?"

Janet glanced over at Andrew as Daniel spoke, and he looked sufficiently embarrassed for the situation he'd placed her in. "I'm sorry..."

"No, it's fine," she said, holding up her hand to silence him. "Yes, Friday's still on. I look forward to seeing you there." With that, she walked straight into the waiting elevator and pressed the button for Level 11.

Daniel hopped in just in time before the doors closed in his face. He went as if to stand at the rear, but instead he stood directly behind her, his chest pressing lightly against her back. Janet fought the urge to move, determined that he wasn't going to intimidate her.

"What's Friday?" he asked.

She could feel his breath in her hair, and it made her shudder. "Friday is my birthday. We've been planning a party for weeks. I just forgot about it with everything else that's been going on."

"And Andrew's coming," he said in a fake cheerful tone.

"All of my friends from work are coming. He's one of them."

She could feel him staring down at her, and it made the hairs at the back of her neck stand on end. She was immensely grateful that the doors took that moment to swing open, and the two of them stepped out and made their way to the second elevator that would take them to the surface.

Daniel fell into one of his silent moods during the next elevator ride, and by the time they reached Janet's car he was positively sulking. Janet was selfishly grateful that she didn't have to talk to him, so she made no effort to smooth things over between them. He had embarrassed her in front of one of her colleagues, sneered at her, and tried to intimidate her. He wasn't exactly her favourite person in the world at the moment.

As soon as they got home, he muttered something about being tired and stretched himself out on the couch with the TV remote in his hand. She'd never figured him for being a couch potato, but as long as he was out of her hair and not harming himself or anyone else in the process, she didn't mind what he did.

She found Leroy curled up under the table in the kitchen. He seemed happy to see her, but she noticed that he didn't go out to greet Daniel like he usually did.

Janet sighed. "Just when we think things are starting to get better, hey Leroy?"

She was in for a long week.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	32. Chapter 32

**Mind Fever - Chapter 32**

  
  
Sam couldn't believe how quickly everything in her world had come crashing down around her. She'd just paid a quick visit to the Alpha Site to see her father and find out how work was progressing on the prototype of the weapon they believed could destroy Anubis' new super soldiers. Little did she know that she'd picked the very day Anubis would attack the off-world base.

She'd managed to escape, but had spent hours trying to get away from the super soldier that was chasing her. Thankfully Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c had arrived just in time to kill it before it killed her.

As if that wasn't enough, when she'd returned to the SGC injured, beaten down, and utterly exhausted, her father had come to her infirmary room to tell her goodbye. Their alliance with the Tok'ra had gone down the drain, and because of that, she wasn't likely to see him again in a very long time. Could things get any worse?

Apparently, they could.

"Sounds like Daniel's been quite a handful for Fraiser the past couple of days," Colonel O'Neill was telling her. "He's been really moody, depressed, keeps hallucinating all the time..."

Sam's blood seemed to freeze in her veins at this announcement. "Was it something I did?" she asked anxiously. "Oh God, I was in a hurry to finish his treatment so I could prepare for my trip to the Alpha Site! Did I do something wrong?"

"Relax, Carter. Carmichael says it's probably just a side effect of the healing process. Nothing to worry about."

"Still, I've got to go see him," she said, trying to get out of her infirmary bed. "Maybe I can fix it again."

Colonel O'Neill prevented her from getting up with a firm hand on her shoulder. "Doc said bed rest for at least twenty four hours. It's too soon for you to do anything about it now anyway."

Sam sighed and obediently sank back against her pillows. "Tomorrow's Wednesday, right?" she asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I'm due to give him another treatment then. Will that be possible?"

"You'll have to ask Doc Carmichael about that," he replied. "You've got a concussion, though, Carter. Do you think it's wise to do intricate work on his brain so soon?"

Sam bit her lip as she thought this over. He had a point there.

"We'll be seeing them on Friday for Fraiser's birthday party anyway," he said a moment later. "I think it can wait until then."

"They're still having the party?"

"Yep. It'll be good for Fraiser to be surrounded by her friends for a while. You and I'll have to brainstorm once you're out of here, see if we can come up with a good idea for a present that'll knock her socks off."

"That'll be great, Sir." She forced a smile for his benefit, though she was still concerned about leaving Daniel in his condition for that long.

"And hey, don't forget to bring Pete," he said as he stood up from his stool and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "We can finally hang out with him in a place where he won't get shot."

Sam couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sure he'd love to come, Sir. I guess then Cassie can finally meet him."

Colonel O'Neill flashed her a pleased smile. "Sweet. Well, I'd better let you rest," he said, edging towards the door. "See you later, Carter."

"See you later, Sir."

She watched as he left the infirmary, her smile fading as he walked away. She just couldn't seem to shake the feeling that something terrible could happen before she could fix whatever it was that she had screwed up.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Janet woke up in the middle of the night with the eerie feeling that she was being watched. She was sure it must have just been a feeling left over from whatever she'd been dreaming about, but she was hesitant to open her eyes anyway. She hated to think what she might find.

Suddenly she felt a puff of air that was unmistakably someone breathing in her face. Her heart started pounding in fear, and as she opened her eyes she found herself looking straight into someone else's.

Janet let out a strangled cry and rolled to the side, falling from the bed and landing on her backside on the floor. She jerked her head up to look at the bed and saw Daniel peering down at her over the edge. "What the hell was that?" she cried, gasping for breath and shaking like a leaf. "You scared me half to death!"

Daniel shrugged, and even in the semi-darkness Janet could see that his expression was completely devoid of emotion. "I was watching you sleep."

"Couldn't you have done that without getting right in my face?" she demanded. She'd been dealing with his eerie behaviour for two days now, and it was starting to drive her mad. Ever since their trip to the SGC, he'd swung back and forth between being sullen and moody to being downright creepy. She'd caught him staring at her many times with a cold, hard look on his face, and if she'd asked him why, he would either shrug and turn away or just ignore her question completely. She was beginning to think she should have taken Colonel O'Neill up on his offer of taking Daniel back to his place.

A trace of a smile flickered across Daniel's face at her question, making him seem almost menacing as he stared down at her. "Probably."

Janet flinched as he moved closer to the edge of the bed, lifting himself up onto his hands and knees. To her surprise, he then reached his hand out to her.

She wasn't sure what to do. She didn't trust him as far as she could throw him at the moment, but he seemed to be genuinely offering his assistance. She looked closely at his face and saw nothing there to signify that he had anything but the most innocent of intentions, so with a sigh she grasped his hand and allowed him to help her to her feet.

Once she was standing, he let go of her hand and returned to his side of the bed, sitting up against the headboard with the blankets pulled up to his waist. She climbed in beside him, keeping a wary eye on him at all times. It was situations like this that made her wish Leroy was still sleeping with them at night.

"Did you hurt yourself?"

Janet stared at him long and hard, trying to figure out whether he was really concerned or just making fun of her. Unable to tell for sure, she answered carefully, "No, I'm fine. Thank you."

He nodded. "Goodnight, then," he said as he squirmed down into a laying position and turned his back to her.

Janet wasn't about to let him get away with it this time. "Wait a minute, Daniel. Why were you hovering over me like that? Do you know how frightening that was to wake up to?"

He slowly rolled over onto his back and turned his head to look at her. After a long pause, he said, "I can't remember how old you'll be."

Janet wasn't sure whether this was his answer or his way of changing the subject, but she decided to answer him anyway. "I'm turning forty."

Even in the dark, she could see that his eyes narrowed at this statement. "You're older than me, too?"

She wasn't sure what to make of this, so she spluttered for a moment as she tried to come up with a response. "Only by nine months," she finally said.

He didn't miss a beat. "Do you think I aged a year when I ascended?"

"Uh... probably not... I don't know." She was growing more and more confused with every word he said.

"Then it's two years." He sounded almost victorious.

"That's not the point, Daniel," she said in frustration. "Age has never mattered to us."

He shrugged and looked up at the ceiling.

"What do you mean by I'm older than you, 'too,' anyway?" she asked as she realized that he'd said it like it was one of many strikes against her.

Daniel gave a heavy sigh and fidgeted a little. "Well... first of all, you're my doctor..."

"Was."

"You're about a foot shorter than me..."

"Ten inches."

"And let's face it, Janet, you're not exactly my type."

"I wasn't aware you had a type."

"Well, I do. I may not remember everything about my life, but I do remember that I had a type. And that I usually went for women who were _younger_ than me."

Janet snorted. "Oh, and Ke'ra-slash-Linea was so much younger than you."

"Who?"

"Never mind," she said with a sigh. "Why are you saying all of this?"

"Because I still don't understand how this whole thing happened. I don't understand why I'm _here_."

It sounded like he was starting to become agitated again, so Janet knew not to push him too far. She couldn't resist just asking one little question, though - "Do you _want_ to be here?"

The room suddenly became deathly silent, and Janet held her breath as she waited for his answer.

It never came. After a minute or so, he turned back onto his side, and within moments seemed to fall asleep.

Janet lay awake for the rest of the night thinking about the whole thing. She knew that Daniel's brain chemicals were in a horrible mess - Andrew had told her as much when he'd called with the results of Daniel's tests on Monday afternoon - but surely now that his memory was returning, if he had ever really loved her he would feel _something_ for her again?

Unless he'd been stating a fact the other day when he'd suggested the reason he'd returned her affection was because he was desperate. It had been over six years since he'd had a woman in his life, after all, as Sha're had been gone for two years before she'd actually died. Maybe he'd just been feeling lonely, and being with her had seemed a better alternative to living alone, or getting involved with any of the other women he knew.

Maybe he still harboured feelings for Sarah, who had been freed from her Goa'uld captor a few months after he had entered into this relationship with Janet. What if at the time he had decided to honour his commitment to Janet only out of the goodness of his heart, but now didn't see the point anymore? What if he'd actually been having an affair with Sarah this whole time, and that's the relationship he was clinging to as his memories returned? He had spent an awful lot of time alone with her just after she returned to Earth. She had moved back to Chicago a few weeks earlier, but maybe they had kept in touch somehow...

When she realized how absurd this whole thought process was, Janet forced herself to stop analyzing the situation. Daniel was still healing, and there were still patches of his memory that were a complete blank. He'd come around eventually. He had to.

The rest of the night seemed insufferably long to Janet, but the next day, Wednesday, felt even longer. In between hallucinations and temper tantrums, Daniel was moody and irritable and just plain annoying. He complained of a headache, but knocked the bottle out of her hands when she went to give him a painkiller. His coordination was off, so he couldn't seem to tie his shoelaces properly, and he hurled his shoe at the wall in frustration after his tenth failed attempt. He forgot a word while he was trying to tell her something, and ended up yelling curses at himself instead. He didn't like what Janet made for dinner, and when she refused to make him anything else, he dumped his plate in the sink and stormed out of the room. It was all Janet could do to keep herself from bursting into tears of anger and despair.

His hallucinations didn't seem to frighten him anymore - they made him angry. He got into a habit of rushing into his office when they would start, and Janet would hear him cursing and sobbing and throwing things until they finally came to an end. A few minutes later, a sullen, exhausted Daniel would emerge and go back to whatever he'd been doing before it started. Janet sneaked into the room at one point to put his most valuable belongings into safe places so they wouldn't be broken. If he noticed that they were missing, he never mentioned it.

By nightfall, both of them were so tired that they were asleep within seconds of getting into bed. Janet slept so soundly that even Daniel's nightmares didn't wake her, for which she felt guilty when she woke up and saw that he had obviously had another restless night.

Then the whole routine began again.

The only thing for which Janet could be grateful on Thursday was that Colonel O'Neill came by for a short visit and told her to take off for an hour or two while he stayed with Daniel. Janet was only too happy to comply. She only had time to take a much-needed trip to the grocery store, but even that was enough to lift her spirits.

Momentarily, at least. As soon as she returned home, Daniel's sulky face brought her right back down again.

Before he left, Colonel O'Neill took her aside to have a private word with her about what had happened while she'd been gone. It was the usual stuff - he'd hallucinated, lost his temper, locked himself in his office for a few minutes, nothing new. Colonel O'Neill was surprised by her lack of a reaction, but soon this seemed to make him realize just how bad things had become.

"Listen, Doc," he said, rubbing his hand over his hair, "I know this whole party thing is probably an added stress you don't need right now, but I just want you to know that you don't have to lift a finger tomorrow. Carter, Teal'c, and I have got it covered. We just want you to relax and have a good time, okay?"

She smiled up at him, knowing how much the three of them cared about her and Daniel, and that he wasn't making an empty promise. "Thank you, Colonel. I really appreciate that."

"I'll even keep an eye on Daniel for you while everyone's here. I doubt he'll be feeling very sociable, and I wouldn't want him taking it out on you."

"That won't be necessary, Colonel. I'm sure he'll be fine." The words were out of her mouth before she realized how untrue they were.

He gave her a dubious look and a slight shake of his head. Then he walked through to the living room to say goodbye to Daniel.

Daniel was lying on the couch with his hands behind his head, watching some kind of cartoon. Janet couldn't believe how much TV he had been watching the past few days, but she didn't say a word about it. At least if he was watching TV he wasn't under her feet.

"See you tomorrow, Daniel," Colonel O'Neill said, tapping Daniel's elbow as he walked by. "Remember what we talked about."

Daniel glared at him. "My short term memory is fine, thank you. Goodbye, Jack." He turned back to his cartoon with a slight huff.

Colonel O'Neill rolled his eyes and bent down to wrap one arm around Janet's back. "Call me if he gets to be too much," he said into her ear.

Janet nodded, and he stepped outside without another word. She stood at the door watching as he got into his truck and drove away.

She didn't even bother trying to drag Daniel's attention away from the television once Colonel O'Neill was gone. He completely ignored her, so she returned the favour. The silence was actually a welcome treat.

Janet sighed as she let Leroy in from the backyard and watched him settle himself under the kitchen table without trotting off to see Daniel. She tried to remind herself, though, that the damage that had been done to their happy home wasn't necessarily permanent. Even if Daniel never loved her again, things would settle down and they would be happy again one day. She was sure of it.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	33. Chapter 33

**Mind Fever - Chapter 33**

  
  
Jack set the last bowl of pretzels out on the living room coffee table and stood back to take a good look around the room. Carter had been right - the yellow streamers were a nice touch. He hadn't wanted to go overboard with decorations, but they did need to do something to make the house look more cheerful. The mood around here was depressing.

"People should be arriving soon, Sir," Carter said as she walked into the room. "Do you think I should give Daniel his treatment now, so he'll sleep through it?"

Jack shook his head. "No, that would probably be a bad idea. Wait until everyone's gone home. At least then he'll probably sleep through the night."

She cocked her head towards the window. "Is he still out there?"

"Yeah," Jack replied. "He's been out there almost all day as far as I can tell."

"It's getting dark now. Shouldn't someone bring him in?"

Jack gave her a dark look. By 'someone,' she obviously meant him. "Fine," he grumbled. "I'll try. Go check on Fraiser for me, would you?"

Carter nodded and retreated upstairs while Jack made his way over to the front door.

It wasn't that he didn't want to go out there and talk to Daniel; it was just that he knew what kind of a reception he would get from him. He'd been in a foul mood all day, presumably over the party. Fraiser had told Jack when he'd come by that afternoon that Daniel had barely spoken a word to her since his visit the day before. He'd watched TV for the rest of the day, suffered silently through his nightmares all night, locked himself away in his office while he had a hallucination in the morning, and had been sitting outside on the porch ever since. She was worried about him, and rightly so. Daniel's depression, or whatever the hell it was, was rapidly growing worse.

Jack hunched the collar of his sweatshirt higher over his neck at the blast of cool fall air that hit him as soon as he stepped outside. He quickly closed the door behind him to keep the heat in the house. "How's it going, Daniel?" he asked as he stuffed his hands deep inside his pockets to keep them warm.

Daniel didn't even acknowledge Jack's presence. He was lying on his back across the length of the porch swing, his knees propped up and his hands on his stomach, staring up at the tree in the front yard. He'd been in the same position for well over an hour, and it was starting to get spooky.

"Hey," he said in a sharp tone, "Earth to Daniel. Why don't you come on inside, huh? You'll freeze your butt off out here."

"That's why I'm wearing a jacket."

Jack drew his hands out of his pockets and clapped them together as he sat down on the porch chair nearest to Daniel. "Ahh, a sign of life," he said. "That's progress."

Daniel folded his arms across his chest and turned his face towards the back of the swing. "Leave me alone, Jack."

"Why? So you can mope out here all by yourself? I thought misery loves company."

"I'm not moping."

"Sure looks like you're moping."

"Well, I'm not. I'm staying out of Janet's hair, just like you told me to."

Jack paused a moment before he responded to this. He may not remember every word he ever said verbatim, but he knew he'd never said _that_. "I believe I told you not to give her a hard time, Daniel, not avoid her completely."

"Same difference," he mumbled.

Jack let out an exasperated breath and swallowed the urge to slap some sense into the guy. He felt bad for what Daniel was going through, but his patience was wearing thin in regards to his attitude. "Do you know _why_ I told you not to give her a hard time?"

Daniel didn't answer.

"Because she deserves better than the crap you've been giving her, Daniel."

"I know she does," Daniel said quietly.

Jack softened a little at the wistfulness he heard in Daniel's voice. "Then try, Daniel," he said. "Try breaking out of this funk, huh? Treat her a little better. At the very least _talk_ to her."

A hard edge crept back into Daniel's tone as he responded to this. "That's easy for you to say, Jack. You're not the one whose head is all screwed up. I can't even think straight half the time, and the rest of the time I can't seem to control my own actions." He sat up then to look Jack straight in the eye. "You wanted to know yesterday why I lock myself in my office? It's because I'm scared, Jack. I'm scared as hell that I'm going to hurt somebody and not even know I've done it until it's too late. I would already have killed the dog if I'd had something heavier than my pillow to throw at him the other night. Now you're bringing a bunch of people here tonight who are all going to be watching me. They'll analyze everything I do, watching for some sign that I'm about to lose it. And I _will_ lose it, Jack. They will _make_ me lose it. Only with the house full of people, I'll have nowhere to run!"

Jack was so stunned by this long speech that he couldn't even formulate a reply.

"You think I don't know Janet deserves better than me?" Daniel continued. "Well, I do. Everyone deserves better than me, so why don't you all just leave me the hell alone?"

"Because we care about you, Daniel. And because we know this isn't permanent."

"No, because Mackenzie told you to stick with me no matter what I do or say. Isn't that right?"

"Mackenzie has nothing to do..."

"Don't lie to me, Jack. You, Sam, and Teal'c haven't even had the guts to come visit me more than once since I got here. Why? Because you're only willing to do as much for a jerk like me as fits into your own little sense of duty, that's why."

"What the hell kind of bull is that?" Jack's temper was rising now. He couldn't believe the accusations that were coming out of Daniel's mouth. "We've been busy this past week, Daniel. I've wanted to spend more time with you and Fraiser, I just haven't had the chance."

"Right," Daniel said with a roll of his eyes.

"And for your information, none of us are doing this out of a sense of duty. We're doing it to help our friend through the worst time of his life. Can you really not understand that?"

"Just shove it up your ass, Jack."

Jack gaped at Daniel as he hopped off the swing and charged down the porch steps. "Daniel!" he yelled as he got up to follow him.

"Leave me the hell alone, Jack!" Daniel yelled back from the driveway. "I'm not running away, if that's what you're afraid of. Just have your precious party and leave me alone!"

As much as he wanted to go after him and force him to listen to reason, Jack decided it would be best to let him go. So, he just stood there watching as Daniel stormed off, heading around the corner of the house and into the backyard.

"Colonel?" said a soft voice behind him.

"Sorry, Doc," he said without turning around. "I can't seem to get through to him no matter what I do."

"Don't worry about it. He'll come around eventually. He always does."

Jack looked over his shoulder at her, surprised by the resignation in her tone.

"You should come inside, Colonel," she said. "It's cold out here."

Jack cast one last look in the direction Daniel had disappeared, and then nodded and followed her back into the house.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Janet had a hard time playing hostess while Daniel was God knew where doing God knew what, but she forced a smile for each of her guests whenever they spoke to her. She also managed to look thrilled over each gift she received, even though all she wanted for her birthday was for someone to fix the colossal mess her life had become.

Colonel O'Neill, Sam, and Teal'c's gift was the most difficult for her to ooh and ahh over, because it made her want to cry instead. They had somehow found a place that created customized teddy bears, and had made two just for her - one was obviously female and was wearing a white coat with a tiny stethoscope around its neck, and the other was male and was wearing an olive green jacket, bandana, and glasses. They had even attached a miniature SG patch to the boy bear's shoulder.

"Their names are Danbear and Janbear," Colonel O'Neill informed her with pride. He held Danbear up for everyone in the room to see. "The resemblance is uncanny, don't you think?"

This comment earned a few laughs from the others, but Janet had to quickly look away before she lost control of her unstable emotions.

Just when she decided to steal away from the crowd for a little while, she felt a light touch on her elbow. "Is everything okay, Janet?"

She turned to see Andrew looking down at her with worried eyes, and it took all of her strength and willpower to force a wobbly smile for him. "Yes, everything's fine," she said. "Thank you."

"It doesn't look fine," he said. With one hand still resting on her arm, he brought his other up to touch one of the dark circles under her eyes. "It doesn't look like you're getting much sleep. Have things been bad the last few days?"

"No worse than usual," Janet lied. She sighed as his hand moved to cup the side of her neck, his thumb gently brushing her jaw. She felt as though she should feel uncomfortable at the way he was touching her, but instead she found that she liked it. It felt like it had been a lifetime since a man had touched her with such tenderness and concern.

"Where is Daniel, anyway?" he asked. "I haven't seen him in all the time I've been here. Is he okay?"

Janet hesitated, not sure how to answer this in a way that wouldn't make it sound worse than it was. "He's..."

"Daniel's right here," a loud voice suddenly spoke up from the kitchen doorway.

Janet winced as she saw the man in question striding down the hall towards them. He did not look happy. Thankfully, Andrew quickly withdrew his hands from her face and arm as soon as he heard his voice.

"Daniel's just fine," Daniel said, his gaze fixed solely on Andrew as he came to stand next to Janet. His stance said it all - his feet were set wide apart, his hands were on his hips, his back was straight, and his head was tilted upwards just a little. He was mad.

Andrew cleared his throat nervously. "I'm glad to hear it," he said. There was really nothing else he _could_ say without running the risk of getting his head chewed off, it seemed.

"So, Janet," Daniel said in a forced cheerful tone. "Why don't you introduce me to your friends? I know I've probably met them all before, but I'm damned if I remember any one of them." He wrapped his arm around Janet's waist as he spoke, and pulled her tightly against his side. "Present company excluded, of course," he added with a sharp glare at Andrew.

Janet's face grew boiling hot from embarrassment and anger at Daniel's behaviour. He seemed to be finding great enjoyment in humiliating her. If there hadn't been so many people around, she would have kneed him in a certain sensitive part of his anatomy quite happily. Luckily for Daniel, the fact that every eye in the room was upon them was enough to hold her back.

A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed before Sam took pity on her and spoke up. "Um... Daniel, do you remember Pete? We've been seeing each other for a couple of months now." Pete smiled and stepped forward with his hand out for Daniel to shake. Janet wasn't sure how Daniel would react to this, but thankfully he took the proffered hand quite cordially.

"Hey, Daniel," Pete said. "Good to see you looking well."

"Thanks," Daniel said. "I don't remember you at all, but any friend of Sam's is a friend of mine."

Pete clearly didn't know how to respond to that, so he just nodded and went back to Sam's side.

Daniel then looked down at Janet, who was still pressed up against him rather painfully. "Come on, Janet, be the wonderful hostess I know you are," he said. "Introduce your guests."

Janet was seeing red by this time, but she didn't want to make more of a scene than was already being made. With a heavy sigh, she gestured to the man and woman standing closest to them. "This is Dr. Brian Flietstra and his wife Faith," she said, hoping her tone was calmer than she was feeling.

Without letting go of Janet, Daniel leaned forward to shake Brian's hand. "You're the morgue guy, right?" he asked as he looked closely at Brian's face.

"I... don't think I've ever been called that before, but yes, that's me," Brian replied. He gave Janet an almost imperceptible wink as Daniel turned to greet his wife, and Janet smiled back at him in appreciation. She knew it was his way of telling her that there was no reason for the situation to embarrass her. They all knew that Daniel wasn't exactly himself these days.

"Well, I would have used the proper term, but I can't remember it at the moment," Daniel said. "I can't really remember much about you, either, but I guess that doesn't really matter. We'll be getting to know each other pretty well soon enough. Or at least you'll be getting to know _me_... inside and out."

"Daniel!" His words were starting to make Janet nauseous.

"No offense to your _wonderful_ medical care, Janet," he said, squeezing her roughly. "Nor yours, _Andrew_," he added.

"Okay, that's enough, Daniel," Colonel O'Neill broke in at last. He stepped through the small crowd and grabbed Daniel by the arm. "Come on. You're leaving."

"But I don't want to leave, Jack," Daniel said, his defiance plain to be seen in his posture and expression. "This is Janet's birthday after all. Doesn't she want to be with the people she loves?"

"Not when they're acting like complete jackasses, no." The colonel tugged so hard on Daniel's arm that he staggered a few steps toward the kitchen. Unfortunately, he didn't let go of Janet, and she was dragged along, too.

"Get your hands off me, Jack!" Daniel yelled, finally losing his temper.

Janet broke away from him as soon as Daniel brought the arm that was holding her around to pry Jack's hands off his other arm. Andrew pulled her to him so she was safe from the struggle that was going on between the two men in the hallway. She leaned heavily against him, panting for breath as she watched the scene unfold.

Daniel kept trying to push Jack away, but Jack was much stronger and maintained his firm hold on Daniel's arm. Failing that, Daniel started trying to hit him, but after his first strike missed, Teal'c and Pete rushed over and grabbed his free arm. Together the three men managed to push Daniel into his office and slam the door behind them.

Janet felt overwhelming relief as soon as Daniel was out of sight, and that in itself frightened her.

"Are you okay?" Andrew murmured into her hair.

She suddenly realized that he had his arms around her waist and was holding her almost intimately with her back pressed tightly against his chest. Though his hold on her wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as Daniel's had been, it made warning alarms go off in her brain. She quickly stepped out of his embrace and turned to face him. "I'm fine," she said. "He didn't hurt me."

Andrew looked more than worried now - he looked scared. "How do we know you'll be fine the next time this happens?" he asked, brushing a loose strand of hair back from her face. "What if he gets that way while you're alone, and there's no one to stop him from hurting you? I really think you should send him off to Colonel O'Neill's."

"I appreciate your concern, Drew, but it's really not necessary," she said.

"I agree with Andrew," Brian spoke up. "I don't think it's safe for you to be alone with him anymore, Janet."

Janet shook her head in disbelief, but before she could reply, Sam stepped in.

"Wait a minute," she said, "I think you're all speaking a little too soon here. I'll be giving him another treatment tonight, and chances are he'll calm down again."

"What if he doesn't?" Andrew asked, folding his arms across his chest. "For all we know, this little outburst was just the tip of the iceberg."

"And what was all that about me getting to know him inside and out?" Brian said. "There's nothing medically wrong with him at this point that could turn fatal, so what exactly did that mean?"

"Has he seemed at all suicidal?" Andrew asked.

Janet could only stand there with her mouth hanging open as everyone focused on her, waiting to hear the answer to his question. "I... don't know," she finally said. "I don't think so. I agree with Sam, though, we should wait and see how he is after his next treatment."

Andrew and Brian looked like they were about to argue this point, but Sam stepped in before they could speak. "One of us will stay here until we know for sure," she said with finality.

"That sounds like a good idea," Janet agreed.

She looked over at Daniel's office door when she realized the men inside had gone very quiet. She hoped she could take that as a good sign, but couldn't help but feel a sense of dread at the same time. As brave as she tried to appear to her friends' anxious gazes, on the inside she was shaken to the core. Would Daniel really have hurt her? To her dismay, she found she didn't know how to answer that question anymore.  
  


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To be continued...


	34. Chapter 34

**Mind Fever - Chapter 34**

  
  
"Thank God Cassie wasn't here to see this," O'Neill muttered. He sounded angered, but his hand rested lightly on Daniel Jackson's shoulder, proving that he harboured no ill feelings toward his friend.

"She'll be back here any minute to stay the weekend, though, right?" Pete Shanahan asked. "I doubt she'll be able to avoid this kind of thing all that time."

"I can hear you, you know," Daniel Jackson said through the hands that covered his face. "I'm sitting right here. I already said I was sorry; what more can I do?"

"You have no need to apologize, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, the sight of his friend seated with his shoulders slumped, his elbows on his desk, and his head in his hands becoming disconcerting to him. "You momentarily lost control of your actions due to the chemical imbalance in your brain. You are not at fault."

Daniel Jackson peeked out at him through the gaps between his fingers. "Thank you, Teal'c."

"Yeah, thanks, Teal'c. Now you've given him an excuse to quit trying."

Teal'c raised his eyebrow at O'Neill's harsh tone.

Daniel Jackson groaned and dropped his head down onto his desk. "Please, just go away," he begged. "All of you. Just... leave me alone."

"We did that already, Daniel. Next thing I knew, you were causing all kinds of trouble and hurting Fraiser. Leaving you alone is no longer an option."

Daniel Jackson snapped his head up again and glared at O'Neill. "I did _not_ hurt Janet. I would _never_ hurt Janet."

"What would you call it, then, Daniel? You were holding onto her so hard I thought you were gonna break her ribs, for cryin' out loud. You don't think that was hurting her?"

A pained look passed over Daniel Jackson's face, and he looked off into the air as he thought this over. "I... I didn't know. Is she okay?"

"I don't know," O'Neill replied. "I was kinda too busy dragging you in here to get a good look."

"Could you go find out?"

He looked up at O'Neill with such a sad expression that O'Neill gave in immediately. He nodded to Pete Shanahan, who quickly slipped out of the room to inquire of Dr. Fraiser's welfare.

"So," O'Neill said as he perched himself on the edge of the desk, "want to tell us what the hell just happened?"

"Not really."

"Daniel..."

"Carmichael was bugging me, okay?"

"How could he have been bugging you? You weren't even in the house most of the time, and when you finally came inside, you started at him as soon as you walked through the door."

"He... just was, okay?"

O'Neill sighed. "Well, this is getting nowhere. Just answer one question for me, Daniel - what were you going to do to Fraiser?"

Daniel Jackson looked up at him in confusion. "Do?"

"You were holding her against her will. Why were you doing that?"

"I wasn't... I had my arm around her, that's all."

"Daniel, you were holding onto her so tight she looked like she could barely breathe. You were holding her there for a reason, and I want to know what it was."

"I wasn't! I was just..."

The door opening cut him off mid-sentence, and all three of the men in the room looked up to see Pete Shanahan returning.

"How are things out there?" O'Neill asked.

Pete Shanahan shut and locked the door behind him. "Most of the guests are preparing to go home," he said. "Janet's fine, though, Daniel. Sam's with her now, and Cassie just arrived."

Daniel Jackson sighed and rested his head on his arms again. Teal'c could not tell whether it was from relief or defeat.

"Sam also said we should take him upstairs so she can do her treatment thing," Pete Shanahan continued. "And that it'd be a good idea for someone to spend the night here... just in case."

Daniel Jackson groaned.

O'Neill looked at Teal'c. "You up for that?"

"Indeed," Teal'c said with a tilt of his head.

"Okay, so that's the plan. Daniel?" He patted Daniel Jackson's shoulder and tucked his hand under his chin to lift his head up to look at him. "We're gonna get this sorted out, okay?" he said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "Just hang in there."

Daniel Jackson regarded his friend for a moment, and then nodded.

"Let's get you upstairs, then. Pete, can you give me a hand?"

O'Neill and Pete Shanahan helped Daniel Jackson to his feet, each of them holding one of his arms to keep him steady, as he seemed quite weak and weary after his outburst. Teal'c unlocked the office door and held it open for them as they passed.

"Teal'c, stay down here and make sure Fraiser's okay, would you?"

He inclined his head in agreement. "Sleep well, Daniel Jackson." He watched them walk down the hall and up the stairs before he made his way into the living room to find Dr. Fraiser.

She was seated on the couch with her arms around Cassandra, and they both looked quite distressed. Major Carter was also with them, as was Dr. Carmichael. The other guests appeared to have departed.

"O'Neill and Pete Shanahan have escorted Daniel Jackson to his room," he announced as all eyes in the room turned towards him. "He seems weak, and feels very guilty over his actions. I feel I can assure you, Dr. Fraiser, that he meant you no harm."

She nodded, though she did not look convinced. "Thank you, Teal'c."

Major Carter rose from her seat after a moment of silence. "I guess I should go up there. Sorry I had to leave it this long before seeing to him, Janet."

"That's okay, Sam," Dr. Fraiser said. "I know you're doing your best."

Major Carter did not seem to know how to respond to this, so she left the room without another word.

"I will remain here tonight, Dr. Fraiser," Teal'c said as he took the chair Major Carter had just vacated. "Is there anything you wish me to do?"

Dr. Fraiser quickly shook her head. "No thanks, Teal'c. Just your being here will be enough."

Teal'c raised his head a little higher as he considered this comment. He hoped that she was right, and that his presence alone was all that would be required.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Janet wasn't sure whether she was holding onto her daughter to comfort or be comforted, but she was glad of her presence either way. It was finally sinking in just what could have happened if Colonel O'Neill hadn't managed to drag Daniel away when he did. The thought made her shudder.

She glanced over at the pile of presents she had received that night, her eyes immediately drawn to the two teddy bears perched on top. They were so cute and looked like they really belonged together, just as she had always thought she and Daniel did. She wondered whether she'd ever be able to look at them without feeling a stabbing pain in her heart.

"Janet?"

All four pairs of eyes in the room turned to look at Pete, who had just appeared in the doorway. Janet released her daughter and rose to her feet. "Yes?"

"Daniel's asking for you," Pete said. He looked very apologetic, almost as though it were his fault. "He says he doesn't want Sam to treat him until he's spoken to you."

Janet nodded and, after forcing a smile for Cassie, Andrew, and Teal'c, she followed Pete out of the room and up the stairs. She had no idea what to expect, but whatever it was, she just wanted to get it over with.

When she entered the bedroom, she was surprised to find Daniel sitting in a corner, tucked away between the wall and the dresser, hugging his knees to his chest. Colonel O'Neill was pacing the room with his hands on his head, and Sam was sitting on the bed watching him. "What's going on?" she asked.

Colonel O'Neill jabbed his thumb in Daniel's direction. "He wants to talk to you. Won't let Carter near him until he does."

"You're making me sound completely unreasonable, Jack," Daniel said. He sounded tired and miserable, which Janet found was a welcome change from crazed and angry.

"That's because you are, Daniel."

"I just wanted to talk to her before Sam made me... different again. Janet?" He leaned forward to see past Jack and into the room. His eyes took on a desperate look once he saw her, and he held his hand out towards her. "Janet?"

Janet took a few steps into the room. "What is it, Daniel?"

He seemed stung by the fact that she didn't come close to him. Looking up at Jack he asked, "Can... we have a minute alone?"

Colonel O'Neill pursed his lips and shook his head warily. "I don't think that would be such a good idea."

"What do you think I'm gonna do, Jack?" Daniel asked, leaning his head back against the wall. "I'm just asking for a minute."

"It's okay, Colonel," Janet spoke up. She took a few more steps towards Daniel and knelt down in front of him. "Just wait outside for a minute, please."

Colonel O'Neill sighed, but he left the room without argument and motioned for Sam to do the same.

"Well," Janet said once they were gone, "what do you want to talk to me about?"

Daniel's sorrowful eyes gazed into hers for a long moment before he spoke. "Sorry I ruined your party."

Janet couldn't hold back an ironic laugh at that. "I appreciate the apology, Daniel, but it seemed as though that's what you wanted to do all along."

"No. You're wrong. That's not... no." He seemed to be struggling to keep his temper under control, and it made Janet nervous.

"Then what happened?"

He sighed and rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands. "I don't know. I just... I saw everyone in there, and I... I guess it overwhelmed me or something. It won't happen again, though, I swear."

"Then what _will_ happen next time, Daniel?" Janet asked in a low voice.

Daniel looked at her again, his eyes filling up with tears. "I... I don't know." He swallowed hard and blinked a few times. "But I wouldn't hurt you, Janet. I know I wouldn't. I couldn't."

"You were out of control..."

"Not _that_ out of control!" he snapped.

"Okay, minute's up," Colonel O'Neill announced, marching back into the room with a determined air. "Up on your feet, Daniel. Come on."

"No! I haven't finished talking to Janet," Daniel argued, inching farther into the corner away from Jack.

"Daniel, it's time for your treatment whether you like it or not, so quit stalling."

Despite Daniel's howls of protest, Colonel O'Neill hauled him to his feet and deposited him on the bed. As he tried to force him to lie down, Daniel shouted, "Wait! No, wait! Not yet!"

"Colonel, just wait one more minute, please," Janet said, pushing the colonel aside and sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Daniel. "What else did you want to say, Daniel?" she asked, taking his hand in hers.

Daniel looked at their hands then up at her face as he panted for breath. He was silent for so long that Janet almost gave up and walked away. Just as she was about to, however, a very strange thing happened. Without saying a word, Daniel released her hand and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her down into a strong embrace.

She didn't fight against him, though at first she was afraid of what he was trying to do. Once she realized he wasn't trying to harm her, she forced herself to relax, resting her head in the crook of his neck and allowing him to press her body close against his chest. It didn't feel like any hug Daniel had ever given her before, though - if anything it felt needy and possessive rather than loving. Still, she didn't pull away, and tried not to cringe at the feel of his hands clutching the back of her sweater in tight fists.

It was Colonel O'Neill who brought the embrace to an end. Once he felt it had gone on long enough, he pried Daniel's hands off of her and told her to go wait out in the hall while Sam did her thing.

Janet obeyed without protest. She couldn't have spoken even if she wanted to - her throat had constricted to hold in the sobs that were threatening to break free. She didn't understand why she felt so shaken, more so now than she had after Daniel's earlier outburst. He had apologized for his actions and held her in his arms, just as he would have done a few weeks earlier if he had upset her in some way. He was trying. She could tell that he was trying to act the way he used to act - to be the man he used to be.

Why then had his touch left her skin crawling?  
  


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To be continued...


	35. Chapter 35

**Mind Fever - Chapter 35**

  
  
For the first night in a very long time, Daniel didn't dream. It seemed that one minute he was closing his eyes as Sam activated the healing device, and the next he was slowly waking up to a room in almost complete darkness.

He was disoriented for a moment, unsure of where he was or what had happened, but then the familiar sound of Janet's breathing brought everything back into focus. He turned his head to look at her lying in bed next to him, and he could just make out her features in the dim light. She was fast asleep, the peaceful expression on her face seeming strange to him after the events of the past evening.

Daniel lay there watching her for a long time. He was surprised that she had dared - or even been allowed - to sleep alone with him after what he'd done, but at the same time he was glad. He hadn't meant to hurt her, and he'd do anything to make her understand that he never would. If she was here, sleeping peacefully in the bed right next to him, that meant that she wasn't afraid of him. At least, he hoped so.

He kicked himself for losing control in front of all those people. He'd purposefully kept away from everyone all day just so he wouldn't find himself in that position, but then what had he done? He'd looked through the window and had seen Carmichael touching Janet. _His_ Janet; not Andrew Carmichael's. The sight had sickened him, and against his better judgment, he had come back into the house to set the bastard straight. Unfortunately, in his anger and jealousy it seemed that he had unintentionally upset the very person he was trying to protect. Why couldn't he ever get things right?

Janet sighed in her sleep, and Daniel's heart melted at the sound. He loved her. He knew that now without a doubt. It had hit him over the head like a ton of bricks the moment he'd seen her standing there in the infirmary with her arms around Andrew Carmichael, and it had confused the hell out of him. He still couldn't understand how it had happened, but somehow he had definitely fallen in love with her.

He could remember bits and pieces of their former relationship, and how he had felt so connected to her at times that it was almost as though she were a piece of himself that had been missing for so many years but was finally back where it belonged. That feeling was gone now, and he had no idea how to get it back. He just knew he wanted it more than anything else in the world.

The night that she had woken up too soon to find him hovering over her like a madman, he had been studying her, trying to figure out what it was about her that he just couldn't live without. Was it her smile? Her gentle touch? Her kiss? No, it couldn't be any of those things, he had decided. There was so much more to it than that, though he couldn't remember what.

He knew the answer now - she had made him feel worthy. Worthy of his position at Stargate Command, worthy of having a family and friends, worthy of drawing breath that could be given to someone else, worthy of loving and being loved, worthy of being alive. She loved him so completely, even after knowing him for years and seeing him for who he was time and time again. Somehow, even after seeing firsthand what a miserable failure he was, she had still wanted to be with him. She had turned a blind eye to his faults and made him strive to overcome them. Without that, he was lost. Without _her_, he was lost.

For so long after losing Sha're, he had just been going through the motions, living on autopilot without really caring about anything deep down inside. Janet had brought him back to life. How could he have forgotten that?

Now it was too late. He had done and said so much that was unforgivable. She didn't trust him anymore, and he didn't blame her. He didn't trust himself either. He wanted to set things right with her, but he knew it was pointless to try. Whatever he did just ended up going wrong. So, he had resolved that until his stupid brain started working properly again, he'd be better off just avoiding her altogether and trying not to further complicate things.

If only Andrew Carmichael would keep his damn nose out of it.

He could feel anger bubbling up inside him again as his thoughts turned to Carmichael. He hated him, yet at the same time, he knew he didn't stand a chance against him if he decided to make a move on Janet. And he undoubtedly would. What man in his right mind wouldn't? Janet was a priceless treasure that any man would be beyond lucky to hold. He knew for a fact that he didn't deserve her... but then, neither did Carmichael.

Daniel bit his lip and tried to push his anger back down inside where it belonged. He had to control himself from now on. He had to prove to everyone that he could be trusted with Janet, or they would send him away. Who knew where he'd end up then?

When he realized that he wasn't succeeding in pushing his anger aside, he decided it would be best for him to leave the room. He felt rested enough anyway, and even though it was only four in the morning, he didn't feel like lying in bed any longer. So, he got up and quietly slipped downstairs.

As he passed through the living room, he noticed that the pullout couch had been opened up and was currently in use. He remembered then that Jack had suggested Teal'c stay there for the night. Strangely enough, his friend's presence gave him a sense of comfort that he hadn't expected.

After a quick trip to the downstairs bathroom and getting a drink of water from the kitchen, Daniel was stumped as to what to do next. He didn't want to wake anyone, and going outside in the cold, pre-dawn air didn't seem very appealing, so he wasn't left with many options. There was always his office, but that room held too many memories of the horrible hallucinations he'd had recently, and it wasn't exactly a place he wanted to go on his own in the dark.

Just as he was about to give up and go back to bed, Teal'c appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Daniel Jackson," he said. "Are you well? Why are you not still in bed?"

Daniel sighed and sat down at the table. "I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep," he said. "Did I wake you?"

"No, you did not. I awoke of my own accord and saw the light from this room."

"Ahh. Good." Daniel nodded and looked down at his hands. He had no idea what else to say.

Teal'c came over and sat down next to him, but didn't say a word for almost a minute. He finally spoke up when Daniel raised his eyes to look at him. "How are you feeling?"

Daniel sat and thought about this for a moment, running through a mental checklist of symptoms. "I... think the weird feeling in my head is gone," he said. "For now, anyway. And I didn't wake up with a headache this time."

"That is good news," Teal'c said with one of his tiny smiles.

"Hope so."

Teal'c tilted his head to one side. "Do you not believe you are getting well?"

Daniel was momentarily thrown by this frank question. "No... I mean yes. I'm... better, anyway."

"Indeed you are. And yet you have been acting as though you have given up hope."

Daniel studied Teal'c closely after this statement, part of him feeling that he should take offense. He didn't see anything to indicate that Teal'c had meant anything insulting by it, however, so he shrugged and looked away. "Maybe I have," he said. "Doesn't mean I've given up trying, though."

"What is the point of trying if you do not believe you can succeed?"

This question was hard for Daniel to wrap his head around, so he figured he'd change the subject instead. "Was... was Jack mad when he left?" he tentatively asked.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at Daniel's avoidance tactic, but he didn't take him up on it. "He was not," he replied. "He was merely concerned for you and for Dr. Fraiser. As are we all."

"Good." Daniel nodded and nervously cleared his throat. "Are you done with the couch?" he asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence. "Cause then I can watch some TV."

"You may do as you wish, Daniel Jackson. You are the master of this residence."

Daniel considered this for a second or two. "Oh. Right. Thanks."

Before Teal'c could say another word, Daniel scooted out of the kitchen and into the living room. He tossed Teal'c's sheets aside, folded the couch back together again, made himself comfortable, and turned on the television.

He had never watched much TV at any point in his life, but he had found recently that it made for a lovely diversion from his troubles. There was always something on the History Channel or Cartoon Network that he could watch, and he even found himself watching the occasional soap opera or sitcom. It wasn't that he enjoyed them; they were just... there.

Hours passed before Daniel knew it, and soon he heard noises in the room above him. He looked up as he heard a door fly open and someone come rushing down the stairs.

"Daniel?"

He waved his hand over his shoulder as Janet careened to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. "Right here."

"Are you alright?" she asked as she tried to catch her breath. "I was scared out of my mind when I woke up and you were nowhere to be found. Why didn't you wake me?"

"I'm fine," he said, "and you needed to sleep." Not knowing what else to say, and having a very confusing thought cross his mind regarding her tousled hair and red face, he turned back to the television.

"Fine," Janet said. "I'll... go start breakfast."

Daniel sighed as she walked through to the kitchen. He felt as though he'd somehow messed that up, too.

Teal'c stayed with them for the rest of the day, though he spent most of the time outside with Cassie, raking up the leaves in the front and back yards and playing with Leroy. Daniel thought that looked like fun, but he didn't want to be a downer on their good time. He stayed inside and watched TV instead.

Jack came by that evening just after supper to relieve Teal'c, but Daniel was already on his way to bed. He was exhausted after his treatment the night before and his early morning. He found it amazing how tired a person could be after doing nothing all day.

By the time Daniel got up the next morning, Jack was on his way out again. Sam and Pete came to spend the day with them this time. Again, most of their time was spent with Janet and Cassie, so Daniel was left to watch TV alone. That was exactly as he wanted it.

He made a point each day to be on his best behaviour, which was relatively easy to do considering everyone left him alone. By Sunday night, Janet brought it up that he hadn't had a hallucination all weekend. Daniel accepted everyone's congratulations without dispute, but he hadn't ruled out the possibility of having more just yet.

Sunday night, Jack phoned to see how things were going. When Janet gave him the good news, he suggested they try going it alone again. Daniel wasn't sure why, but this just made him all the more nervous. What if he had a hallucination bad enough to make up for the two days without one? What if he went totally out of control and hurt Janet or Cassie without meaning to? Jack wasn't the only one who was concerned about Daniel's outbursts. Daniel feared them more than anyone.

That night passed without incident, however, and on Monday morning, Cassie kissed Daniel goodbye and returned to school. It felt strange just having him and Janet in the house again, but he tried to see it as a good thing. Maybe their life would just spontaneously click back into order, and they'd return to the way they used to be.

Or maybe it would spontaneously combust.

That's exactly what Daniel felt happened later that week. Sam had dropped by on Tuesday morning to give him another treatment, and while everything had been going just fine before she came, he knew something was different the moment he woke up from his treatment-induced sleep. He kept it to himself, hoping it would pass, but that familiar gnawing feeling in his gut just grew stronger as the day progressed.

He had nightmares again that night, but they were different from the ones he'd had before. In these, he was always looking helplessly on as he lost control and started hurting Janet. He couldn't believe the fear these dreams induced. Each time he would wake up from one, he would feel an urgent need to get out of that room and away from Janet. After three trips to the bathroom to calm himself down, he finally decided he would be better off sleeping on the couch. Once down there, however, he turned on the television and lost himself in mindless cartoons.

That day, no matter how hard he tried to shake it, he was in a foul mood. He knew he was giving Janet a hard time, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. The gnawing feeling had turned into restlessness and irritability, and he felt like he would explode with even the slightest provocation.

The provocation came.

On Thursday morning, Daniel woke up to find Janet's place in the bed empty. That in itself wasn't completely unusual, so he just got up and got dressed like any other day.

As he made his way down the stairs, he could hear Janet's voice coming from the kitchen. He figured she was on the phone, so he opted to leave her in peace and watch some television while he waited. Just as he was sitting down on the couch, however, something Janet said made his ears perk up and listen.

"No, he hasn't been as much trouble as he was last week, but that might be because he just sits there staring at the TV screen all day long. As awful as this may sound, I'm just dying to get away from him for a little while. I'm going out of my mind being here alone with him all day."

As soon as he heard this, Daniel was livid. 'Staring at the TV screen all day long?' 'Dying to get away from him?' 'Going out of my mind being here alone with him?' He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

That wasn't the end of it, either. He held his breath as she went on, "He hasn't actually had any hallucinations for a few days, and he seems to be able to care for himself more now, so I was wondering whether I could start coming back into work for a few hours each day? I know it's risky leaving him here alone, but I think it's something he needs to start doing again from time to time. I think it would be good for both of us to spend part of the day away from each other."

'So, me leaving you in peace every day isn't working, huh?' Daniel thought bitterly. 'No matter what I do, it's never right!'

Her next words made his blood run cold. "Oh, would you? Thanks a lot, Drew. I really appreciate this."

"Drew..." he muttered through clenched teeth. "I should have known it would be Drew."

"Okay, I'll see you this afternoon, then," she said. "You, too. Bye."

Daniel heard her sigh of relief even through the rushing sound in his ears. She wanted to be with "Drew" rather than him. To his mind, that proved what he had been suspecting for days - he had lost her to Andrew freaking Carmichael.

He stood up and began pacing the room, swinging his arms and balling his hands into fists as he tried to work out his aggression without actually harming anything.

As he passed the side table, however, his gaze was captured by the photograph of him and Janet in that Moroccan restaurant that he had just remembered as being their favourite place to dine. Their blissful smiles were taunting him, showing him what a beautiful thing he'd had that he was never going to get back.

He couldn't seem to stop himself. Before he even knew what he was doing, he had picked it up and thrown it against the wall with every ounce of strength he had. Glass shattered everywhere, and the frame fell to the floor in a million pieces.

Daniel stared at it in shock. He hadn't meant to do it, but somehow it had just happened. His anger suddenly melted away, leaving only misery and regret in its place. "God, what have I done?"

Janet came running into the room as soon as she heard the crash, and her mouth fell open as she saw the evidence of what had happened. She carefully knelt down and reached out a shaking hand to pick what was left of the frame up out of the pile of glass. "Why did you do this?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Daniel swallowed hard, not sure that he trusted himself to say anything.

"Why?" she shouted without turning around to look at him.

"I... I don't know..."

She made a strangled sound as she slipped the picture out of the ruined frame and saw that it was damaged beyond repair. "You're determined to take everything away from me, aren't you?" she cried, sounding just as angry as he had felt moments before. She held up the battered photograph for him to see. "This was all I had left of my life!"

Her devastation was ripping Daniel's heart to shreds. He would have given anything in that moment to go back and change what he had done, but all he could do was stammer, "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"Then what _did_ you mean, Daniel?"

He started to feel intense anger and hatred burning in his chest as he thought about this - not for Janet, not even for Carmichael, but for himself. He blinked hard to hold back the tears that were filling his eyes, and said the first thing that came to his mind. "I just... I hate looking at that thing!"

Janet got to her feet and stared up at him with rage turning her eyes black as coal. "Then why the hell didn't you just _tell_ me? I would have put it away so you wouldn't _have_ to look at it! You didn't have to completely destroy it!"

"I'm sorry..."

She held up her hands to cut him off. "I don't want to hear it, Daniel. Just... stay the hell away from me for a while."

Daniel looked on in silence as she rushed out of the room and jogged up the stairs. He flinched as he heard the bedroom door slam, and threw himself down onto the couch.

"You're an idiot, Daniel Jackson," he groaned. "You're a worthless, brain-dead idiot."

Then he let the tears come.  
  


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To be continued...


	36. Chapter 36

**Mind Fever - Chapter 36**

  
  
It took Janet quite a while to calm herself down. She paced the bedroom angrily for half an hour, periodically stopping to look down at the ruined photograph in her hands. This would only fuel her anger and send her pacing again.

After a while, her adrenaline ran out and she crashed onto the bed to cry out her frustrations into her pillow. It wasn't just the picture that had upset her - it was everything. She missed her life, and most of all she missed sharing it with Daniel. She hated to see him wasting every day sitting on the couch watching mind-numbing television. She missed seeing him being interested in the world around him, working hard at whatever job he was assigned to do, talking to her about anything and everything. Now to see him destroy a piece of their history that they had both held so dear... it was just the last straw for her.

The night the picture had been taken, they had gone to their favourite restaurant in Colorado Springs to celebrate his birthday. It was not only his first birthday since their relationship had begun, but it was also the first since he had returned to Earth after his ascension. They had joked that he was actually turning one, since his life had been so different over the past year that it was like his descension was him being born all over again.

They'd had such a wonderful time, even taking a stroll along the river as they talked about their hopes and dreams for their future together. It was during that stroll that they'd both expressed their desire to have a child of their own, and they'd decided to go ahead and start trying for one. This decision had made them both realize how much faith they had placed in their commitment to each other, and Daniel had suddenly swept her up into his arms and spun her around in pure joy. They had immortalized the night with that picture, which was taken by the restaurant's own professional photographer. They had loved it so much that they'd placed it in the most prominent spot in their living room to be a daily reminder of how much they loved each other.

Now it was gone. The only picture she had of just the two of them was ruined, and she couldn't help but take it as a sign. They had looked upon that photograph as being a symbol of their love, and it had been tossed aside and broken just as she felt their relationship had been. It almost made her laugh at the irony of it, but all she could do was cry.

Once her tears had all been spent, she made her way into the bathroom to freshen up. She didn't want to see Daniel again just yet, but she knew she had to make sure he was okay. She also had to make arrangements for someone to come and stay with him while she went to the SGC. She had planned on leaving him alone, but now it seemed that would be a bad idea. Who knew what he'd do to the place while she was gone?

As soon as she felt presentable again, she took a deep breath and went back downstairs. She started to feel nervous when she didn't see Daniel anywhere. She checked the living room, the kitchen, and his office, but he wasn't there. Feeling a wave of panic wash over her, she darted to the window in the living room and looked out. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him lying on the porch swing in the exact position he had been on the day of her party.

She decided it would be best for her to just leave him alone, so she went back into the kitchen and picked up the phone. The first person she called was Colonel O'Neill.

"Did he hurt you?" he demanded as soon as she'd told him what had happened.

"No, Colonel, he had already calmed down by the time I entered the room. I honestly don't know what it was all about, but I think that out of the two of us, he was more in danger of being hurt... by _me_."

Colonel O'Neill sighed. "You really do need a break, huh, Doc?"

"Badly. Would you be able to stay with him while I go to work for a few hours?"

"Of course," he readily agreed. "What time do you need me to come?"

"How does 1300 hours sound?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll be there."

Janet felt as though a great weight had lifted off of her shoulders as she hung up the phone. She even felt good enough to brave going out onto the front porch to speak to Daniel.

He didn't react as she opened the door and stepped outside, so she just stood there in silence for a long moment. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, and after a minute or two he finally turned his head to look at her.

"Are you still mad?" he asked.

Janet looked him straight in the eye. "Are you?"

Daniel shrugged and looked away again.

"I'll be going to the SGC for a few hours this afternoon," she said. "Colonel O'Neill is coming to stay with you while I'm gone."

"I don't need a babysitter," he mumbled.

Janet couldn't hold back after this comment. "Well, Daniel, I didn't think you did either, until your little outburst this morning. Maybe if you stopped acting like a child, people would stop treating you like one."

She then turned on her heel and went back inside. As much as she regretted using such a sharp tone with him, his attitude was getting on her nerves, and she felt as though he should be made aware of that.

Another glance out of the window showed that he hadn't moved a muscle. Somehow, that failed to make her feel better.

With a heavy sigh, she trudged up the stairs to start preparing for work.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Daniel's heart was slowly and painfully breaking. He felt so worthless that he couldn't even cry anymore. He _had_ been acting like a child. He knew that, yet the knowledge didn't make it any easier to change.

So, Jack would be coming by to play babysitter while Janet went off to see Andrew. That was okay - it was a nice day, so he could just sit out here until it was time for supper. After supper he could go straight to bed, and no one could say he'd spent the day in front of the television, nor have to spend a prolonged amount of time in his miserable presence. Two birds with one stone.

He didn't even acknowledge the passing of time until Janet came out onto the porch again. When he glanced over at her, he saw that she was no longer wearing her sweats, but had changed into a blouse, black pants, and high heels. She was just zipping up her jacket and her purse was hanging from her shoulder. She was definitely about to go out. "Colonel O'Neill will be here any minute," she said. "Is there anything you need before I go?"

Yes, there was something he needed - he needed her forgiveness. He just didn't know how to ask for it. "No," he replied after a moment's hesitation. "I'm... I'm sorry about the picture, Janet. I really am."

She regarded him closely as he spoke. "I know," she said. "Is there anything you need that I can pick up on the way home?"

Daniel's heart sank at her quick change of subject. "No."

"Okay." She went to go down the steps to the driveway, but then stopped and looked at him over her shoulder. "Please don't destroy the house while I'm gone."

Daniel felt like he'd been slapped in the face by this comment, and he looked down at his hands in contrition. "I won't," he said.

"Good. I'll see you later." She trotted down the steps, got into her car, and within moments she had driven away.

He couldn't help but notice how anxious she had been to get away from him, and it just made him feel even worse.

Less than five minutes later, Jack's truck pulled into the driveway. As much as Daniel wanted to be on his best behaviour for him so that everyone would see that he could be trusted, he also wanted to be left alone. Jack made it clear right away that it was going to be one or the other.

"Hey," Jack said as he sat down on one of the porch chairs. "Did Fraiser leave already?"

"Yeah, about five minutes ago," Daniel replied. Inwardly he rejoiced that his voice had cooperated and hadn't sounded too snappy.

"So... what happened this morning?"

Here we go. "Didn't Janet tell you?"

"She told me you lost it and started throwing stuff, yeah. I was just curious to hear your side of the story."

"I didn't throw 'stuff,' I threw a picture."

"One that Fraiser considered pretty valuable."

Daniel didn't answer that. He knew exactly how valuable she considered that picture. He had as well.

Jack took a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "So, why did you do it?"

Daniel chewed on the inside of his mouth for a moment before he spoke. "I... was angry."

"At whom?"

"It doesn't matter who... I was just angry." He really didn't feel like telling Jack about the whole thing with Carmichael. It was painful enough just thinking about it, let alone _talking_ about it.

"At Janet?" Jack asked.

Daniel snapped his head around to glare at him. "No. Not Janet. I'm never angry with Janet."

Jack nodded and looked down for a second. When he looked up again he asked, "At yourself?"

Daniel didn't answer. He didn't want to lie, but he was hoping Jack would assume his silence was an affirmative.

It seemed as though he did. "Look, Daniel... whatever it was that happened, don't worry about it, okay? This whole situation... it's not forever. Carter'll fix you up good as new before you know it. Until then, there are some things that you'll just have to accept that you can't do."

Daniel sighed. "I know. I'm trying, Jack. I know you don't think I am, but..."

"I know you are." Jack laid a hand on Daniel's shoulder and squeezed. "For the most part, I've been pretty proud of you the last few weeks."

"You have?" Daniel asked in amazement.

"Yeah. For a while there we weren't sure you'd make it, Daniel, but not only are you alive, you're actually _functioning_ again. You've gone far beyond everyone's wildest expectations, to be honest. You just have to learn how to control that damn temper. I hate to turn this into a 'three strikes and you're out' kind of thing, but one more incident like this, and we're going to have to rethink this whole set-up."

"I will," Daniel asserted. "I promise."

Jack patted the side of Daniel's face and let his hand linger there as he spoke. "I know you will," he said. "That's why I didn't freak and send you back to Mackenzie when Fraiser told me what happened. I'll be keeping my eye on things, though, Daniel. If you want to be at home, you've got to get yourself back under control. Understood?"

Daniel knew better than to argue when Jack was in full officer mode like this, so he just nodded. Jack seemed satisfied with that, and didn't bring the subject up any more.

Jack and Daniel spent the rest of the afternoon playing chess. So much for Daniel's resolve to stay out on the porch all day - Jack practically dragged him back into the house as soon as their heart-to-heart was over, saying he was cold and bored and he'd be damned if he was going to spend the entire day inside on his own. Daniel actually found himself having fun, though he could tell that Jack was purposefully not playing as well as he could just so Daniel could win. 'I really need to practise this more often now that I can think a little straighter,' he thought to himself after making a particularly bad move that Jack just ignored. 'Maybe I should ask Cassie for a game when she comes home this weekend.'

Janet came home just as the two men were preparing dinner, and Daniel's heart soared at the beautiful smile that appeared on her face when she saw them working away in the kitchen. "Now this is what I like to come home to," she said.

Daniel couldn't tell whether she had forgiven him yet or not, but he was determined to find out. As soon as she came close to him to see what was cooking on the stove, he seized his opportunity. "Would you do something for me?" he asked.

Janet looked confused for a second, but then she answered, "Okay. What do you need?"

Daniel lifted the wooden spoon he had been using to stir the sauce Jack had made. "Can you taste this?" he asked, holding it out to her with his hand underneath to catch the drips. He could see out of the corner of his eye that Jack was grinning at him, and that gave him more confidence in his spontaneous action.

Janet stared at him curiously for a few seconds, but then she leaned forward and took a tiny taste. "Mmm," she said. "It's very good. Did you make this?"

"Jack did," Daniel replied. "I helped."

"He chopped the garlic," Jack said, giving Daniel a nudge with his elbow.

"That's helping," Daniel insisted.

Janet laughed. "Well, keep up the good work, boys," she said. "I'm going to take a quick shower before dinner."

Daniel could have jumped for joy. They'd had a moment of normalcy, and Janet had actually seemed to trust him. He could hardly believe the difference between that morning and what had happened just now.

"Thanks, Jack," he said once Janet was out of earshot.

"Don't thank me," Jack said. "You're perfectly capable of doing this on your own."

Daniel took Jack's advice to heart, and for the rest of the week he tried harder than ever to get things back to normal. Sam came by the next day to give him another treatment, and afterwards he didn't feel quite as irritable. That was a big help towards achieving his goal.

When Cassie arrived for the weekend, Daniel forced a smile onto his face and for once initiated a hug. Then he asked her if she would play chess with him, and she eagerly agreed. Daniel got quite a thrill when Janet came into the living room and found the two of them engrossed in the game. She smiled and gave his shoulders a slight rub before leaving them alone again. He was on cloud nine.

Part of him knew it couldn't last. He didn't deserve a normal, happy life, after all. This was just a temporary reprieve, but even so, he was determined to enjoy it until it was over.

Knowing this didn't make the fall any easier to bear, however.

It came too soon. That Saturday, Janet went to work again, saying she would only be gone for a few hours and leaving him alone with Cassie. That was fine - he and Cassie had a nice time together, playing chess and baking a huge amount of cookies for Cassie to take back with her to the dorm.

When dinnertime rolled around and Janet hadn't returned, Cassie ordered them a pizza, saying she'd been slaving away at the stove for long enough and deserved a treat. They both expected Janet to come in as they were eating and lecture them about it, but she didn't. Daniel was starting to get worried.

Once they were finished eating, Cassie suggested they watch a movie, so they snuggled up together on the couch and watched one of Daniel's favourites - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Even an entertaining movie and the pleasant feeling of Cassie's head on his shoulder weren't enough to calm Daniel's nerves, however, as the evening wore on and Janet still didn't appear.

Bedtime rolled around, and although Daniel wanted to stay downstairs watching TV until Janet came in, Cassie insisted he go to bed. "This kind of thing happens all the time, Daniel," she assured him. "Something just came up, that's all. She'll be home soon."

She all but tucked him in herself, so he didn't dare leave his bed even after she retired to her own room and the coast was clear. He just lay there wide-awake, wishing he'd dragged Leroy along just for the company. All kinds of worst case scenarios were running through his mind - Had the base been attacked? Had she had some kind of accident on the base? Had she been in a car accident? Was she lying somewhere in the dark, injured and alone? Or worse yet, was she dead and never coming back?

It was after midnight when a light finally flashed past the window, and Daniel heard a car pulling into the driveway. He leapt out of the bed and rushed over to the window to look.

At first he was puzzled - it didn't look like Janet's car. Hers was small and white. This one was a bit larger and looked grey from what little he could see of it. Then the passenger side door opened just enough for the interior light to come on and suddenly it all made sense.

Andrew Carmichael. Janet was sitting in the passenger side of Andrew Carmichael's car, and it looked as though they were deeply engrossed in conversation.

Daniel could feel the anger creeping up out of the pit of his stomach again. As much as he knew he should resist it and calm himself down, seeing that man sitting in _Daniel's_ driveway with _Daniel's_ Janet in his car, talking to her like he had a right to do so, made all reason leave Daniel's mind.

He watched them for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a minute or two. Finally, Janet went to get out, but Carmichael put his hand on her arm to hold her back. She turned to him, he said something that made her smile, he leaned forward, and...

Daniel felt like his heart had stopped beating. Carmichael kissed her. He kissed Janet, right there in Daniel's very own driveway - right in front of his face. His anger suddenly evaporated and left him feeling numb. He'd suspected something had been going on between them, but he'd never thought he'd actually have to see it. The sight of Andrew Carmichael touching Janet... _kissing_ Janet... made his stomach turn.

It was only a moment before Janet finally pushed the door open and stepped out of the car, but to Daniel it seemed that time had slowed down to a crawl. He stayed rooted to the spot as Janet disappeared under the roof of the porch, never taking his eyes off of Carmichael. The bastard was sitting there watching her enter the house, no doubt ogling her as she walked away from his car. Daniel was still staring at him when Carmichael just happened to glance up at Daniel's window.

Daniel felt quite satisfied at the surprised look that passed over Carmichael's face at seeing him there. He didn't duck into the shadows or let the curtain fall back into place, he simply stood there and stared the man down until Carmichael dropped his gaze and backed his car out of the driveway. He wished afterwards that he'd had the presence of mind to give him the finger.

Just as the car drove out of sight, Daniel heard Janet enter the house and start coming up the stairs. He quickly got back into bed and lay there on his back waiting for her.

Janet entered the room quietly, obviously hoping not to wake Daniel up. He watched as she tiptoed over to the closet and took her nightgown off of the shelf. He expected her to go into the bathroom with it as she always did these days, but to his surprise she started unbuttoning her blouse right there.

He watched as she took it off and put it in the laundry hamper. Even in the semi-darkness he could see how beautiful she was, and it made his heart ache to think that she wasn't his anymore. She was just reaching back to unhook her bra when she glanced over at him and saw him watching her.

With a gasp, she folded her arms across her chest. "Daniel!" She made a quick grab for the nightgown and held it in front of her for added protection. "Still awake?"

Daniel couldn't help but feel hurt that she was ashamed to get undressed in front of him. That combined with the scene he had just witnessed between her and Carmichael brought a hard edge to his tone that he had hoped to avoid using with her from now on. "You're late."

"Yes, there was an emergency at the base, and then the car wouldn't start," Janet was quick to explain. "It's just been an awful day. I would have called, but I really didn't get a chance."

"Right." Daniel didn't really believe her, but he didn't argue the point. He turned on his side away from her and didn't say another word.

He heard her quickly finish undressing, and then she slipped into bed. He knew without even having to look that she was laying on her side with her back to him.

Daniel gripped his pillow so tight it made his knuckles hurt. He couldn't believe it had come down to this. Janet was having an affair, and it was all his fault for being such a jerk. Why had this happened? Why was he even here anymore? What was the point? It wasn't like they were ever going to go back to being happy and in love again.

He wished he'd died back on that stupid planet and just avoided this whole mess. At least then Janet would be free to do whatever she wanted without having to put up with him. At least then she'd be able to be with Carmichael guilt-free. Yes, they'd all be much better off if he was dead.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	37. Chapter 37

**Mind Fever - Chapter 37**

  
  
Daniel couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, the image of Andrew Carmichael kissing Janet flashed across his eyelids, and it was driving him insane.

He could hear Janet's steady breathing beside him and knew that she was sound asleep. He didn't know what to think about that. How could she lay there next to him so relaxed and at peace when she was doing what she was doing behind his back? How could she so calmly betray him?

After a couple of hours of sheer torture, Daniel rolled over to face her and propped himself up on one elbow. She had turned onto her back at some point, so he had a good view of her face. She was smiling that small, sweet smile he remembered loving so much not that long ago. Now it only caused him even more pain, knowing that it wasn't him who had put it there.

She sighed in her sleep and moved slightly as though to get more comfortable. Daniel knew these movements well - she was dreaming. A very nice dream by the looks of it. He just hoped it wasn't about who he thought it was.

As he lay there gazing at her, an intense feeling of longing washed over him until he felt like he was about to split in two. He loved her so desperately and needed her so much, but she was slipping away from him. Once she was gone, he knew there was no way he could win her back. He'd just end up all the more heartbroken in the long run, so what use was it to even try?

She sighed again, and her smile grew even sweeter, and finally Daniel just couldn't resist. He slowly lifted himself up and reached an arm over to rest on the other side of the bed so that he was crouching over her. He knew that if she woke up now, it would probably scare her enough that she would throw him out on the spot, but he didn't care. After looking down at her lovingly for a moment or two, he closed his eyes and brushed his lips against hers.

The feeling was heavenly, but he didn't allow himself to push his luck by letting it go on for more than a second. He vaguely remembered stealing the occasional light kiss from her while she slept throughout the course of their relationship, and he never remembered it waking her up. He hoped that would hold true in this case as well.

To his relief, she didn't wake up, but what did happen made him freeze in surprise. As soon as their contact was broken, Janet squirmed a little and parted her lips as if anticipating a deeper kiss.

Daniel didn't know what to do. As much as he longed to kiss her again, he didn't want to participate in her fantasy dream about another man. The thought of that made him shudder. Still, the sight of her lying there so innocent and filled with expectation was almost overwhelming.

His heart pounding and his entire body shaking with his efforts to restrain himself, Daniel hovered over her with his lips almost touching hers. He could feel her breath on his face, and it sent shivers down his spine. He brought one shaking hand up to her cheek, but stopped a hair's breadth away from actually touching her skin. He didn't want to wake her, after all - he didn't want the moment to end.

He lifted his head a little and began to pass his fingertips over her entire face, recommitting every inch of it to his memory, but never once did he allow himself to touch her skin. It became a sort of game as he tried not to miss even one little spot. Every wrinkle, every freckle, and every curve was burned into his mind one by one.

Daniel paused when he got to her mouth. It was still open just a little, and he felt her sigh against his fingers. It made him want to cry.

After a moment of deliberation, he gently pressed his fingertips to her lips, and gasped when her mouth twitched in a tender kiss. "Love you," she breathed.

Daniel balled his hand into a fist and quickly pulled it away from her. "I wish I knew who you were saying that to," he whispered. He slowly rolled back onto his side of the bed, careful not to disturb her, and lay there staring up at the ceiling.

He winced when Janet started sighing and making various other soft, contented sounds. It was obvious that she was dreaming about making love to someone, and it sure as hell wasn't him.

With one last long, wistful glance at the woman he loved, Daniel got up out of bed and quietly left the room. He couldn't stand to lie there listening to that all night. He took his broken heart downstairs and attempted to drown his sorrows in home-baked cookies and the rest of the Indiana Jones movies.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

_Janet could hear the ocean waves rolling onto the shore somewhere close by, but she didn't open her eyes to see it. The warmth of the sun on her body was so relaxing that she didn't want to move._

She frowned as the warmth suddenly faded and a shadow fell across her eyes, but her disappointment didn't last for long. The feeling of soft, gentle lips pressed against hers made up for the lack of sun anytime. She sighed into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders as the kiss deepened. She felt his fingers caress her face and the skin along the outline of her bathing suit, and she smiled. 'This is perfection,' she thought contentedly. 'I hope this lasts forever.'

The sound of a child's laughter finally broke them apart, and they opened their eyes in time to see their child run towards them with a bucket full of water. Before they could move or react, the child had emptied it all over them and run away.

Daniel laughed and remained crouched over her, dripping wet and cute as a button. "I guess we were asking for that," he said. "Are you okay?"

Janet smiled up at him, her heart threatening to burst with love and happiness. "I'm perfect," she said.

"Yes, you are."

Janet thrilled at these softly spoken words. She fixed her gaze on his mouth, wanting him to kiss her again, but not wanting to move in order to make it happen.

He smiled and leaned down to press his lips briefly against hers. "I love you," he said.

Janet sighed. "I love you." She meant it with her whole heart.

Daniel didn't waste any time then in capturing her mouth again in a long, deep kiss. He lowered his body down onto hers, and she wrapped her arms around him again, stroking his back as he kissed her with such tenderness and passion that it took her breath away. She could hardly believe how wonderful it felt.

"Mommy! Daddy! Look at me!"

Daniel lifted his head and rolled away from her as they both looked over at their child. Janet felt a great sense of loss once she could no longer feel his body pressed against hers, but she couldn't help but smile as he got up and ran off to chase their squealing child into the water.

"Janet!" he called. "Come with us!"

"Oh, what the heck," she muttered to herself, and she got up to follow her family into the waves.

Janet woke up slowly, the wonderful sensations and emotions from her dream still with her even as she opened her eyes. The room was still in darkness, so it wasn't time to get up yet. She was glad of that. More sleep meant more dreams, and if the rest of her dreams were as beautiful as the one she'd just had, she wanted to stay asleep forever.

She rolled over onto her side to face Daniel, but to her great disappointment, he was gone. She reached out a hand to stroke the sheet he had been lying on, and found it was still slightly warm. 'He must have gone to the bathroom or to get a drink of water,' she told herself. She hoped he would come back soon. It surprised her just how much she missed him when she woke up and he wasn't there.

While she waited for him to return, she thought back over the last couple of days. She still hadn't figured out why he had destroyed that picture, but since then things had really been improving. She didn't know what Colonel O'Neill must have said to him while he was there a few days ago, but she was thankful that he had. Daniel was finally starting to act more like himself again, and it made her want to dance for joy.

Even Andrew had started to notice a difference in her over the last couple of days. He'd said as he'd given her a ride home that night that she was looking more relaxed than she had in weeks. She had to agree. Things were finally starting to look up for them again.

Thinking about Drew brought to mind the last thing he had said before she had gotten out of his car to come into the house - "Daniel's a lucky man to have you, Janet. He knew that once, and I'm sure it won't be long before he figures it out again." Then he had leaned forward, kissed her cheek, and added, "Just give him time."

The words had warmed her heart, as she really hadn't thought of their relationship in that way before. She had always felt that she was the lucky one to have found such a wonderful man as Daniel and to have him actually love her and want to be with her. It astounded her at times that Daniel had such strong feelings for her, especially after he'd had such a perfect, though short-lived, marriage with Sha're. It had been quite a surprise to her, though a very welcome one, to find that he had the capacity to love wholly and completely more than once in his lifetime.

"We'll get it back again soon," she whispered as she started to drift off to sleep. "I think we're halfway there."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Cassie and her sacks of cookies left the next morning, as she wanted to get back to the dorm by the evening to watch some kind of game with her friends. Daniel was sorry to see her go so soon. They'd had a fun couple of days together, and he'd missed their old camaraderie.

It didn't help that he could hardly stand to look at Janet. Whenever he did, he found himself looking for signs that she had transferred her affections onto someone else. He almost choked when she mentioned Andrew's name during lunch. It was all he could do to keep himself from hurling his plate at the wall as she prattled on about what they had done together the day before.

He heard her call Sam that morning to ask her to take a look at her car, which was still parked at the SGC as far as he could tell. Inwardly he cursed that damn car. Who knew what Carmichael had gotten up to with Janet during their drive home? He could only hope it was fixed by Monday morning when she would be going back to work.

On top of all of this, Daniel's sleepless night and late night snack of too many cookies had left him feeling rather sick and irritable. He tried not to take it out on Janet, but he could see that she noticed his sudden withdrawal and was disturbed by it. She kept a wary eye on him all day, and by mid-afternoon, it was starting to get on his nerves.

"I'm not going to explode, you know," he said after the tenth time that he looked over at her just in time to see her turn her face away from him. "You don't have to watch me like that."

"Sorry," she said. "You just seem... are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he snapped. He regretted his tone as soon as he'd said it, but he didn't apologize. He just turned away and ignored her until she left the room.

The day grew progressively worse, especially when the phone rang and Daniel answered it. He hadn't answered the phone in weeks, but Janet was in the basement doing a load of laundry, and he was right there in the kitchen anyway.

He paused for a moment when he picked up the receiver, unsure of what to say. He was sure the phone call wouldn't be for him, so saying, "Daniel Jackson," like he would on his office phone wouldn't make much sense. He finally settled on a simple, "Hello?"

"Hello... Daniel?"

Daniel cringed. "Dr. Carmichael," he said through gritted teeth. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just calling to have a quick word with Janet. Is she there?"

"Yes, she's here," Daniel replied, keeping his tone flat and devoid of emotion. "She's busy. Is there a message?"

"Is that for me, Daniel?" Janet asked as she suddenly appeared at Daniel's side.

Daniel turned and gave her a fake smile. "It's Andrew," he said. It came out much more taunting and nasty than he'd meant it to, and he kicked himself when he saw the confused look that passed over Janet's face.

"Thank you," she said, holding her hand out for the receiver.

Daniel slapped it into her hand and marched out of the kitchen. He definitely wasn't in the mood to hear whatever she was going to say to her new boyfriend. He grabbed his jacket and headed out onto the porch instead. It was nearing the end of October by now, though, and it got quite cold as the sun started to set. He had only been out there for about an hour when he got sick of it and went back inside.

The sound of oldies music greeted him as he entered the house. Janet had turned the living room stereo on while she was making dinner, he realized. He remembered that this was her favourite radio station, and that she often used to listen to music while she did housework. She hadn't been able to lately what with him sitting around in front of the television all day every day. He started to feel guilty about this, and as soon as he'd hung up his jacket, he went through to the kitchen to see if she needed any help.

He couldn't help but smile as he came to the doorway and saw her moving about the kitchen swaying her hips in time to the music. She was humming along, too, and until then he'd forgotten what a pretty voice she had. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned his shoulder against the doorway as he watched her, and for that one moment he forgot everything that had happened to push them apart. She was lovely, and he was absolutely smitten with her.

After a moment or two, he noticed that she was getting a bit agitated, looking in first one cupboard and then another and muttering to herself. Without thinking twice, he went over to her to see if he could help her find whatever it was she had lost. She had just bent down to look in one of the lower cupboards when he reached her side, and as he leaned down to speak to her, he laid his hand on the small of her back to prevent her from moving too quickly out of the way.

Little did he know what a grave mistake that would turn out to be. Just as he touched her, she swung her hips again in time to the song that was playing, and Daniel's hand ended up landing a lot farther down than he'd been aiming.

Janet hadn't even known he was there, so the shock of suddenly feeling someone's hand on her bottom was enough to get quite a reaction. She gasped, spun around, and slapped him as hard as she could.

Time seemed to freeze. The two of them stood there staring at each other for what seemed like forever. Daniel's face was numb at first, but soon started to sting. He could almost feel the handprint appearing on his cheek. He didn't say a word, and neither did she. He knew that if he opened his mouth to speak, he would only say things he would end up regretting.

Once the numbness had faded, the anger and humiliation started to overwhelm him, and he knew that if he didn't get as far away from her as possible, pronto, he wouldn't be able to control his actions. Before she could regain her voice to speak, he turned and walked out of the kitchen.

He didn't stop at the living room, and he didn't turn and head up the stairs, he just kept on walking straight ahead. It barely even registered in his mind as he opened the front door and stepped outside, but as soon as he heard the door slam behind him, he started to run and didn't look back.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	38. Chapter 38

**Mind Fever - Chapter 38**

  
  
Janet stood rooted to the spot for a full minute after Daniel's stormy exit. She couldn't believe what she had done. It had just been a reflex action - he had startled her, and she had reacted without even having a chance to think. But why did he sneak up behind her and fondle her ass in the first place? She couldn't even remember him doing anything like that before he'd been ill. Had he meant it as some kind of innocent flirtation tactic, or had he been about to do something even more out of character when her slap had stopped him dead? She had caught him staring at her as she'd gotten undressed the night before, after all. Who knew what kind of thoughts had been going through his mind?

She still wasn't sure why he had suddenly become so sullen and withdrawn again. Was it because Cassie had gone back to the dorm early? Had something happened between them the day before while she was gone? "Oh God," she said as a disturbing thought crossed her mind. "Cassie left before I could talk to her... what if he did something to her while they were alone? Maybe she didn't want to go back early for the game at all... maybe she wanted to get away from him!"

Part of her knew these thoughts were absurd - Daniel would never hurt Cassie in a million years. Another part of her, however, remembered his fist flying directly at her face, his teeth digging into Colonel O'Neill's forearm, the crazed look on his face as he had thrown his pillow at Leroy, and the way he had held her glued to his side in an iron grip on the night of her party. If he lost control, he was capable of anything, and she had left him alone with her teenaged daughter.

Her stomach turned at the thought, and she quickly rushed over to the living room window to see what he was doing outside. To her surprise, he wasn't in his usual spot on the porch swing. She went to the door and gingerly opened it just enough to stick her head outside and get a better look at the entire porch. He wasn't there.

Fear gripped her heart as she stepped outside and looked around the yard. "Daniel?" she called. The only sound she heard in reply was the rustle of fallen leaves in the wind.

She ran back into the house and through to the back door, hoping against hope that he would be in the back yard. He wasn't.

"Oh God!" Janet cried as it hit her - Daniel had run away. There was no other explanation. There was nowhere else nearby that he could have gone. He had taken off, and could be anywhere by now, and she didn't even have a car to go off in search of him.

Not wanting to waste a second, she picked up the phone and dialled Colonel O'Neill's number as fast as her fingers would allow. He picked up on the second ring.

"Colonel," she gasped as her tears started to fall. "Daniel's gone. He just... ran out the door. He didn't even take his jacket. He's gone!"

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Jack scanned the empty streets for any sign of his missing friend as he slowly drove along. Daniel's jacket was sitting on the seat beside him, and he couldn't wait until it was back with its owner where it belonged. The night was biting cold, and according to Fraiser, Daniel was wearing only a thin sweatshirt and jeans. Wherever he was, he'd be half frozen by now.

He sighed as he pulled up at an intersection to wait for a green light. Truth was, he had no idea which way to turn. Daniel had never just disappeared before, at least not here on Earth, so he didn't have a clue where to even begin his search. He hadn't even been able to get out of Fraiser what had happened to make him run off like this, so there was no help to be found there, either. He'd just been hoping he would see him walking along the side of the road somewhere. No such luck.

"Think like Daniel," he muttered. "If I was a Daniel, where would I be?"

The first answer that came to mind was 'digging in a pile of dirt somewhere.' That didn't help much. He doubted even Daniel would be interested in stuff that was buried in the ground in the suburbs of Colorado Springs. No, he had to think harder than that.

'Wherever Fraiser is,' was next on his list, but that couldn't be it either. He'd run away from Fraiser, not towards her. Being wherever Fraiser was should have been scratched off the list long ago.

Or should it?

He made a left as he was hit with a sudden epiphany. "Daniel's a history nut," he said to himself. "He'll be wherever he can touch a piece of his past."

A number of places sprang to mind as possibilities, but for some reason he couldn't explain, he felt that the best place to start would be the river. He remembered Daniel telling him once that he and Fraiser loved walking along that river together, and it was only about a mile away from their house. Yes, if he were Daniel, he'd definitely have gone to the river.

It only took him two minutes to get there, and at first he was disappointed that Daniel was nowhere in sight. Then he noticed the dark form sitting on the wall at the edge of the bridge. He knew even from a distance in the dark that it was Daniel. He pulled up to the side of the road, grabbed Daniel's jacket, and got out of the truck.

He approached his friend slowly and quietly so as not to startle him, but all he wanted to do was run over there, grab him, drag him back to the truck, and force him to go back home where he belonged. Since Daniel was sitting on the edge of a rather high bridge with his legs dangling over the side, however, he realized that particular plan would be unwise.

"Daniel?" he said softly once he was just a few feet away.

There was no movement from the man on the wall except a slight shiver.

"God, Daniel, you must be freezing." Jack quickly closed the rest of the distance between them and wrapped the jacket around Daniel's shoulders. He rubbed his arms a bit while he was at it to warm him up as much as possible. "You left without your jacket."

Daniel still didn't react. Jack hadn't seen him looking so miserable since... well, since the day he'd found him hanging off the edge of his balcony. That memory wasn't a pleasant one to have brought to mind, to say the least.

Jack sat down on the wall beside Daniel, though he kept his legs on the side of safety rather than the raging river beneath them. "Fraiser's pretty worried about you," he said in a desperate attempt at getting a reaction from the silent man. "She called me and asked me to come find you, in case you were wondering..."

"Don't."

Jack stopped and looked closely at Daniel in surprise. He hadn't even noticed his mouth move, but he'd heard the word quite clearly. "Don't... what?" he asked.

"Don't act like nothing happened."

"I'm not. I'm just trying to break the ice here, Daniel. Fraiser didn't tell me what happened between you two, so I have no idea what I'm supposed to say to you."

Daniel shook his head. "Nothing."

Jack was expecting him to say more, but he got only silence. "Nothing happened, or I'm supposed to say nothing?"

"Shut up, Jack."

Normally, those words would have made Jack angry, but the catch in Daniel's voice as he practically whispered them made him ache with sympathy instead. He laid his hand on Daniel's arm and gave it a fond squeeze. "Okay. If you feel like talking, though, I'm here."

They sat in silence for a long while. Jack tried not to look at Daniel too much, knowing that would probably just irritate him, so he pretended to be focused on the cars driving by while watching him out of the corner of his eye. Daniel didn't move, just stared down at the water with the world's most sorrowful look on his face. Jack was dying to know what had happened, but he knew he wasn't likely to get a straight answer no matter how he asked the question. It had to come from Daniel if it was going to come at all.

At long last, Daniel sighed, shivered again, and looked over at Jack. "Why are you really here?"

"Because you shouldn't have to go through this crap on your own," Jack replied. He adjusted the jacket so that it wrapped around his friend more securely, as Daniel still hadn't bothered to put his arms through the sleeves.

"I shouldn't have to go through this crap at all," Daniel said, his voice so quiet that Jack had to strain to hear him over the sound of the river.

"No, you shouldn't. It'll be over soon, though, Daniel. Don't give up just yet."

"It _will_ be over soon," Daniel agreed, though the pain in his eyes as he said it made Jack shudder. It was obvious that getting over it and getting on with his life wasn't what he was anticipating.

"Hey," Jack said, grabbing Daniel by the arms and turning him to look him in the eye. "I don't know what the hell happened tonight, but whatever it was, it's not worth killing yourself."

"Who said I was going to kill myself?"

"You just implied it, Daniel. Don't think I don't know why you're sitting on this bridge looking all depressed."

Daniel shook his head. "I wasn't going to jump, if that's what you're thinking."

Jack was surprised at how little life there was in him even as he said these words. He'd expected him to lash out, but if anything, Daniel seemed even more deflated. "Well, good," he said. "Cause I'm damned if I'd have jumped in there after you. I've had hypothermia before. It's not something I care to experience again."

Daniel snorted, a ghost of a smile flickering briefly across his face. "Thanks, Jack. I feel so special now."

Jack grinned. "Hey, what are friends for?" He stood up and laid an encouraging hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Ready to go home?"

There was silence for a moment, and Daniel still didn't move. Jack was about to speak again when Daniel tilted his head to the side, leaning against Jack's arm. He seemed to be trying to pull himself together, taking deep breaths and blinking back the tears that filled his eyes, so Jack was only too happy to provide that extra sense of strength and support that his friend needed.

With his other hand, Jack reached around him and took hold of the front of Daniel's jacket so it wouldn't fall off of his shoulders. Then he started to turn him so he could swing his legs back over to the other side of the wall. Daniel obediently followed his lead, and once he was standing on solid ground again, he even slipped his arms into the jacket's sleeves.

Jack kept his arm wrapped around Daniel's shoulders as they silently made their way over to his truck. He couldn't help but think they'd just narrowly avoided a horrible tragedy.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Janet rushed to the front door and flung it open as soon as she heard Colonel O'Neill's truck pull into the driveway. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw two men get out and make their way towards the house.

"Found him, Doc," Colonel O'Neill called over as soon as he saw her in the doorway. He clapped a hand on Daniel's shoulder as they walked up the porch steps. "He just needed to clear a few cobwebs was all."

Janet nodded and stepped back to let them both inside. She noticed that Daniel looked cold, so she turned the furnace up a couple of notches while the men removed their jackets.

"Sit," Colonel O'Neill commanded Daniel, though his tone was gentle and kind.

Daniel sank down onto the couch and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. Then he took his glasses off and rubbed his face wearily. He looked completely run down.

"Where was he?" she whispered to Colonel O'Neill.

"The river," he whispered back.

Janet's eyes widened. No wonder he looked so exhausted. After weeks of inactivity, he had walked all that way? He must have really wanted to get away from her.

"I'll be back," the colonel said loud enough for Daniel to hear. "Just gotta make a phone call. I told Carter to be on the lookout at the SGC just in case. She'll want to know he's safe and sound."

He walked off into the kitchen, so Janet turned back to Daniel. He was still sitting there in the same position, his head in his hands and his shoulders slumped in weariness.

She slowly approached him and perched herself on the arm of the chair right across from him. A moment of tense silence passed before she worked up the nerve to speak. "How's your face?"

Daniel dropped his hands, but didn't look up at her. "It's fine."

The pained expression on his face made Janet regret her actions even more. She must have misinterpreted his intentions. There was no way he would look that hurt and defeated if he felt he had gotten what he deserved. "I'm sorry I hit you, Daniel," she said. If he only knew how much.

Daniel didn't answer. He turned his face away from her, but not before she saw that his eyes were glistening with tears.

"You just... took me by surprise," she continued, desperate to make things right between them. "I thought... I thought you were going to..."

Daniel snapped his head around and looked directly into her eyes with so much anger and hurt in his expression it took her breath away. "I would _never_ do that," he said. His voice was quiet, but the words were firm and clear.

Janet couldn't hold his intense gaze for long, so she looked down at her hands. "There was a time when I trusted you implicitly, Daniel." She shook her head sadly. "I just don't know how I can do that anymore."

"I wouldn't hurt you. Ever," he said through gritted teeth.

Janet sighed. This was getting nowhere. "How can I be sure, when you so often lose control?"

Daniel took a deep shuddery breath as he clenched and unclenched his fists. "If you really can't trust me, then what the hell am I doing here? Why do we live in the same house and sleep in the same bed if you're expecting me to strike at any moment? Isn't that just slightly insane on your part, to leave yourself so vulnerable to a man who could easily rape you or beat you to a pulp without warning?" His voice grew louder and angrier with every sentence.

"Daniel!" she gasped in horror.

_"I would never do that!" _

"Whoa! Hey!" Colonel O'Neill interrupted as he came back into the room. He looked back and forth between them with wide eyes. "What's going on in here?"

"It's alright, Colonel..."

"The hell it is!" Daniel cried. "How am I supposed to recover from all this crap if no one trusts me? How am I supposed to get my life back if everyone misinterprets everything I do as having some sinister motive? When the hell did I go from being 'Daniel-the-angel-who-can-do-no-wrong' to 'Daniel-the-homicidal-pervert-who-can't-be-trusted'?"

"What? No one's saying..."

"Yes, Jack, that's _exactly_ what everyone is saying. Admit it - you don't want to leave because you're afraid that as soon as you do, I'll lash out at Janet somehow. Am I right?"

"No!"

Daniel turned to Janet then. "Janet?"

She couldn't answer. She didn't even know _how_ to answer.

Daniel turned back to Colonel O'Neill and jabbed his finger in Janet's direction. "_She's_ afraid of that. You want to know what happened earlier, Jack? Janet was looking for something in the kitchen, I came up behind her to ask if I could help, and I got a slap in the face for my troubles."

"You grabbed my ass!"

"I touched your back, and you moved! _Big_ difference!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out here, kids!" Colonel O'Neill cut in, making a T-sign with his hands. "It sounds to me like you've had one hell of a misunderstanding here..."

"You bet we have," Daniel said. "Every single thing I do is misunderstood, and it's really starting to piss me off. So let me tell you something, Janet..." He paused for a second, breathing hard as he glared at her, and his voice was dangerously low when he spoke again. "If you really don't trust me, I'll gladly move out. I never wanted to be here in the first place. Either way, that's the last time I'll try to act normal around here. You want crazy, unpredictable Daniel? You got him." With that, he stormed from the room, taking the stairs two at a time.

Janet flinched at the sound of the bedroom door slamming behind him. She couldn't believe how fiercely angry he'd been with her. If what he'd said was true, though - if he'd really been about to offer his help, and hadn't meant to touch her where he did at all - she couldn't blame him for feeling outraged by her reaction.

"He's just upset," Colonel O'Neill said once the house fell silent again. "He'll come around."

Janet nodded, trying to force her internal organs to return to their rightful places. "Thank you for finding him, Sir."

"No problem." He paused, and then added, "He loves you, you know."

Janet looked up at him in surprise. "What makes you say that?"

He shrugged. "I know him."

Janet didn't know what to say to this. She wasn't so sure she agreed with him, but she didn't want to say that out loud.

"Want me to stay the night?" he asked a moment later.

"Please," Janet said gratefully.

Whether he loved her or not, and whether he was capable of hurting her or not, she didn't relish the thought of spending the night alone with Daniel in the mood he was in.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	39. Chapter 39

**Mind Fever - Chapter 39**

Daniel couldn't stay angry for long. He felt too depressed to be angry. Now he knew why Janet had turned to another man for comfort through all of this - she didn't feel she could ever trust him again. And how could he ask her to after everything he'd done? No, she deserved much better than to live like this. She deserved a man who would treat her right, who would be dependable, and who wouldn't need her to take care of him. That man wasn't him.

If there was one thing he'd learned from his trip to the river that evening, it was that everything was different now. He'd realized that as he'd watched the water flowing below him - a river is never the same from one moment to the next. It's constantly changing, because the water is constantly moving. Life is like that, too. You've got to move with the current, or you'll drown. There's no sense in trying to hang on to the way life used to be. You can never get it back once it's floated away.

As he sat there on the bed thinking this over, he absently fingered the pendant that still hung around his neck. When he realized what he was doing, he undid the clasp and let it fall into his lap. He sat there staring at it for a minute, focusing on the symbol of the bear that was engraved on it. That was all it was, he realized. Just a symbol. It didn't have any real power to heal; it was just an ornament. He didn't even know why he had kept it on as long as he had.

He looked up then and saw the two little teddy bears Janet had received for her birthday propped up on her dresser. He thought they were sweet, but at the same time it almost killed him to look at them knowing that his relationship with Janet had gone down the drain. The two bears looked like a perfect pair, but their human counterparts didn't anymore. With a sigh, he picked up his pendant and went over to the dresser to put it where it belonged.

"Here, Danbear," he said, "you can hold onto this for me." He tucked the pendant into the teddy bear's jacket. "Bears belong with bears, after all."

He smiled sadly as his gaze fell upon Janbear. Long ago, he had fallen in love with a woman wearing a white coat just like that one. He had always felt it made her look like an angel rather than a doctor. Too bad he'd never told her that.

"You and Danbear will always be together, won't you?" he said, picking the little bear up and hugging it to his neck. Then he kissed its fuzzy face and placed it back on the dresser.

He felt a little foolish for getting so sentimental over teddy bears, but who cared? It wasn't like anyone had seen him do it anyway. He went back over to the bed with a heavy heart and lay down to read a bit of his book. He hadn't read much of it in the days since Janet had given it to him, and to his surprise he found that he didn't have any trouble with it anymore. He wasn't in the mood to feel happy about it, though, so he just took it for what it was and began to read.

After an hour or so, he heard someone coming up the stairs. He knew who it was right away, so when he heard a knock on the door he sighed and called out, "It's your room, Janet. You don't have to knock."

She slowly opened the door and took a couple of tentative steps inside. Daniel looked at her over the top of his book.

"Can we talk for a minute?" she asked.

Daniel closed the book, set it down on his nightstand, folded his hands across his stomach, and looked over at her.

Janet took that as a yes, and stepped farther into the room to sit down on the edge of the bed. Her side of the bed. Daniel noticed that she was as far away from him as possible while still on the same piece of furniture that he was.

"I... you don't have to move out," she said. "That's not what I want at all."

"Then what _do_ you want?"

She looked down at her hands. "I don't really know. But I promised to look after you, Daniel, and it's a promise I intend to keep."

Daniel nodded and met her gaze as she looked up at him again. Careful to keep his face expressionless, he said, "Wouldn't want to shirk your duty."

Janet looked stung. "It's not a duty, Daniel. I'm doing this because I want to."

"Because you feel guilty for not being able to cure me."

"Because I love you," she said, anger and frustration creeping into her tone.

Daniel sighed and shook his head. "How can you say that after the last few days?" he said. "It's a memory, Janet. I remember it, too... now. We'll never get that back. You do know that, right?"

Janet didn't answer. She looked down again, but this time at his hands instead of hers. Then she slowly moved closer to him on the bed and reached out to take one of his hands in one of her own.

Daniel was surprised by her actions, but he didn't pull away. He looked down at their intertwined hands as she took to stroking his knuckles with her thumb, and it melted his heart. It felt so good - so like the way they used to be. He couldn't help but stroke her hand with his thumb as well.

He didn't really want to break the spell the moment cast over them, but finally he felt he had to speak. "Look... if... if you want to be with him... it doesn't matter to me." He looked up at her face to see her reaction to this, though he was a bit afraid of it at the same time.

She looked confused more than anything else as she looked him in the eye and tried to read him. "Excuse me?"

"Carmichael... _Andrew_," he said. "I mean it's not like we're in a committed relationship anymore. I... I don't mind."

"What?" She let go of his hand as if he had burned her. "Why do you think I want to be with Andrew?"

He didn't answer, just looked away and chewed on the inside of his lip.

"Daniel? Why would you think that?"

He sighed in exasperation. "Oh, come on, Janet. I've seen the two of you. He's in love with you, and you know it."

Janet shook her head in disbelief. "Andrew is a good friend of mine, Daniel. That's _all_." "A very good friend. I saw him kiss you the other night."

Her mouth opened and shut a few times as she tried to find her voice to reply. "We'd had a hard night, and he was concerned about me," she said. "He kissed me _on the cheek_. My God, Daniel, you did that much when we were just friends... or don't you remember?"

Now it was Daniel's turn to feel stung. "Yes, and look how we ended up."

"Well, if this is how Andrew and I would end up, too, then I don't want anything to do with him," Janet said, her tone turning cold. She got up from the bed and paced across the room, but then she stopped, sighed, and turned around again. "This is ridiculous, Daniel," she said. "I didn't come in here to fight. I came in here to try to set things right between us."

Daniel huffed a laugh. "You really think that's possible?"

"If we both work hard enough at it, yes," she said. "I do."

Daniel winced. If they both worked hard enough? He didn't have enough energy to put in the amount of work it would take to fix this mess. "I'm too tired," he said, weariness settling over him like a blanket. "I can't talk about this right now."

She sighed. "Then why don't you get some sleep?" she said softly.

"I think I will," Daniel said.

She came around to his side of the bed as he got under the covers. This surprised him - he thought she'd have left right away. He was even more surprised when she took his glasses off his nose and placed them on his nightstand. He looked up at her wistfully as she stood there looking down at him, and for a moment he wasn't sure what to expect. Then she reached out to stroke his hair, leaned down, and kissed his forehead.

"Goodnight," she said.

Daniel couldn't say a word. Her tenderness brought tears to his eyes and a lump to his throat. He just watched as she turned out the light and left the room.

He turned onto his side as soon as she was gone, and started thinking over the events of the day. So, she wasn't having an affair after all. He knew for a fact that Carmichael was in love with her, though. He still thought she'd be better off with a man like him.

His mind was reeling all night long, even while he slept. Not that he slept very much - whenever he would drift off, he'd lapse into nightmares right away, and would jerk awake again scarcely five minutes later. Janet came to bed after a couple of hours, so he tried not to toss and turn for her sake. He could tell by her steady breathing that she was fast asleep within minutes, and as far as he could tell, she stayed asleep all night. He envied her that.

By morning, he was even more exhausted than he'd been the night before, but at least he'd come to a final decision. He couldn't stay here any longer. He couldn't repair his relationship with Janet, and he wasn't sure that he should even try. It just wasn't fair on her to have to put up with him for the rest of her life. If he could just get well enough to go it on his own, he should leave... set her free. Resolving this in his mind made him feel both saddened and relieved. He was sure, though, that he was doing the right thing.

Janet got up fairly early, and Daniel followed her downstairs soon after. He saw Jack lying fast asleep on the pullout couch as he passed through the living room, so he knew he had to be quick if he was going to say what he needed to say to her in private.

She was standing at the stove with her back towards him as he entered the kitchen, so he remained in the doorway and cleared his throat to announce his presence. He didn't want a repeat of yesterday.

Janet turned to look over at him and forced a smile. "Good morning."

"Morning," Daniel said.

He sat down at the table and watched for a moment as she broke a couple of eggs into a frying pan. Once she was done, she came over to the stretch of counter beside him to put some bread in the toaster.

"Can... can I ask you something?" he asked.

"Of course," she replied. "What is it?"

"How long do you think it'll be before I can handle living alone?"

Janet's hands froze as she was about to drop the slices into their slots. "What?"

"How long before I can start taking care of myself?"

She let the bread fall and turned the toaster on before she spoke. "I don't know. Whenever you feel able to, I guess."

Daniel nodded. "Well, I'd like to. As soon as I'm able."

Janet's face went pale as she stared at him in disbelief. "Leave?"

He couldn't stand the pain he saw in her eyes, so he quickly looked down at the table. "Yes."

"Daniel, if this is about Andrew, you have to believe me - _nothing happened_."

He took a slow deep breath. "Well, maybe something should."

"What?"

"You deserve much better than this," Daniel said, his voice husky with emotion. "You deserve to be happy."

"When will you get it through your thick skull that there is _nothing_ going on between me and Andrew?" she snapped. "And there never will be! Nor do I ever _want_ there to be!"

Daniel didn't move or flinch, just kept his eyes focused on the table before him. "Still... I think it's about time we went our separate ways. You know we can't carry on like this forever."

She was silent for a long moment, so Daniel finally looked up at her, keeping his expression guarded so as not to betray how heartbroken he was at having to say this.

"Fine," she said. "I'll talk to An... Dr. Carmichael. Ask him whether he feels you've improved enough for that."

"Thank you."

He could tell there was a lot more that she wanted to say, but just then the telephone rang. She rushed to answer it, so Daniel got up to tend to the eggs. He didn't pay much attention to what she was saying until he heard, "Yes, we'll be there as soon as we can. Thank you."

She hung up then, so Daniel turned towards her. "What was that?"

Janet looked flustered and started moving towards the door. "That was the SGC. There's been an emergency. They need me and Colonel O'Neill there immediately."

"Is everything okay?" Daniel asked, concerned. He knew that Sam and Teal'c were both on the base, as were any number of his friends and colleagues, so any emergency more than likely meant someone he knew was in trouble.

Janet was already in the living room waking Jack, so Daniel followed after her. He heard her telling him there was an emergency to do with the Goa'uld, and within seconds Jack was on his feet.

Everything moved fast after that. Jack and Janet practically flew from room to room as they prepared to leave, and by the time the toast had popped and the eggs were done, they were just about ready to head out the door. Jack had offered to take Janet there in his truck since her car was still out of action, so she had an extra minute to wait for him while he finished getting ready.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked Daniel as he put the eggs and toast on his own plate and sat down to eat them.

"I'll be fine," he said. "This way I can show you I can handle being on my own."

Janet didn't seem very pleased by this. She came over to him and tentatively rested her hands on his shoulders. "We'll talk about all of that when I get home, okay?" she said, her voice shaking a little.

"Yeah," Daniel said. He took a mouthful of food to avoid having to say anything else.

She didn't let his attitude push her away, however. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and brushed her lips against his cheek. "See you later," she said.

Then she was gone.

Daniel suddenly lost his appetite as he heard the front door close behind them. He felt like he'd made yet another huge mistake in telling her he wanted to leave, but what else could he do? He hated being here; hated the pain it caused her whenever he would do or say something weird. He hated being a burden to everyone around him. He just hated everything.

He shoved his plate aside and went through to the living room. Once there, he put the pullout couch back together and flopped down onto it to watch some television. He had nothing better to do, so he figured he might as well waste the day.

Before long, however, a strange feeling started to settle over him; one that he hadn't felt in quite some time. His head started to feel as though it had been detached from his body and was floating somewhere up around the ceiling, and he couldn't seem to concentrate on what he was watching.

"No..." he said under his breath. His throat constricted as a wave of panic engulfed him and left him gasping for air. His gaze darted around the room, waiting for what he knew was about to come.

Suddenly, a dark form appeared at the window, paralysing him with fear. An ugly face pressed up against the glass, and two evil eyes glared right into his own. An Unas - one not as friendly as Chaka - was standing on his front porch.

"No, it isn't real," he muttered, rocking back and forth in his seat as he tried to control his breathing. "I'm just hallucinating... it isn't real..."

Then it disappeared, and Daniel heaved a sigh of relief. With a shaking hand, he picked up the remote control for the television and tried to focus on watching Bugs Bunny. Just as Bugs was getting the upper hand over Elmer Fudd, however, a movement on the side of the television set caught his eye.

Daniel froze in terror. It was a cockroach the size of a plate.

"It isn't real," he whispered. "Oh God... not real... can't be real..." He watched it as it crawled across the TV and down to the floor. "Not real... hallucinating... don't be afraid..." When it started to approach the couch, even the knowledge that it wasn't real couldn't keep him sitting there. He screamed in panic and leaped from the couch clean across the room. Then he raced upstairs and into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him and leaning against it as he tried to catch his breath.

"Dammit!" he cried. "Dammit! Damn! Damn!" He thumped his head against the door with every curse until his knees gave out from under him and he sank to the floor. He hugged his knees to his chest and buried his face in his arms as he cried tears of utter hopelessness.

"It'll never be over!" he sobbed. "Oh God, I can't do this! Please help me... I can't do this!"

_"She'd be better off without me."_

"You all deserve better than me."

"It'll never go away. Never."

"God, make it stop!"

"The only way you'll ever be free is if you're dead."

"...is if you're dead."

"...dead."

Daniel's sobs slowly faded as he realized what he had to do. Everyone would be better off, really. Not just him, but everyone. No one needed a burden like him on their backs all the time. No one deserved to live in constant fear, wondering what he would do next time he lost control. Especially not Janet. Not sweet, beautiful Janet.

Yes, he knew what he had to do.

He crawled over to the closet and pulled the door open. There was a toolkit lying right there in front of him. That was perfect. He opened it up, and his fingers closed around the object he needed right away - a penknife.

It was cold and shiny, almost brand new. It was ironic, really - Janet had bought this kit for him months ago, and he'd never really had the chance to use any of the tools for anything... until today.

Another sob rose to his throat as he opened the blade, but he choked it back down. There was no use crying over it. This was something he had to do... for Janet's sake.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	40. Chapter 40

**Mind Fever - Chapter 40**

Janet slammed the receiver back into its cradle and buried her face in her hands. That was the third time in a row that she had tried calling the house and received no answer. She tried to tell herself that Daniel was just sitting out on the porch and couldn't hear the phone ringing, but she had an awful feeling deep down inside that something was wrong.

"Still no answer?" Andrew asked from her office doorway.

Janet dropped her hands onto her desk. "No," she said, "and it has me worried."

"How has he been doing lately?"

Janet sighed, not entirely sure how to answer that question. "He has good days and bad days," she said. "Yesterday was a bad one, and then today he said he wanted to move out."

"Move out?" he repeated in surprise. "Why would he want to move out?"

Janet shook her head. "I don't know. He... he thought there was something going on between us, actually."

Andrew gaped at her for a moment. "Oh."

"I tried to tell him he was wrong, but then he started asking whether he could live on his own yet." She took a deep, nervous breath and stood up. "I have a bad feeling about this, Drew. Anything could have happened while I've been gone. I have to go check on him."

"Yes, by all means," he said, stepping out of her way as she moved towards the door. "SG-1 and SG-3 have the situation on P5G-995 under control, and SG-2 have been patched up. I'm sure the rest of us can manage without you."

"Thanks, Drew," she said gratefully. "If everything's okay, I'll be back in an hour."

The elevators didn't move fast enough to the surface for Janet's liking, but at least Sam had managed to fix her car the night before. It was still sitting in the parking garage where she had left it on Saturday, and this time it actually started up when she turned the key in the ignition. The drive home passed in a blur until she pulled into the driveway and saw that the front porch was empty.

"Relax, Janet," she told herself. "He might have just gone back inside a minute ago. He might have been inside the whole time and just not felt like answering the phone. This doesn't mean anything has happened."

She hurried out of the car and onto the porch anyway, and then unlocked the door with a shaking hand.

Once she stepped inside, the sound of some silly cartoon greeted her ears. The living room was empty, but the TV was still on. Daniel must be somewhere nearby. "Daniel?" she called. No answer.

She shrugged off her jacket and draped it across the back of a chair as she started down the hallway. The bathroom door was open and empty. His office door was shut, so she knocked lightly and opened it. That room was empty, too.

Next she made her way into the kitchen. It was empty as well, but Daniel's breakfast was still sitting on the table, relatively untouched.

She was starting to get a bad feeling about this.

"Daniel? Where are you?" she called, her anxiety creeping into her tone. She went back down the hall and started to climb the stairs. He hadn't been sleeping well lately - maybe he'd gone down for a nap while the house was quiet.

Their bedroom door was closed, so she opened it quietly, hoping not to wake him if he was, indeed, asleep. She saw right away, however, that the bed was unoccupied.

As she opened the door wider, something on the carpet by the closet caught her eye. She stared at it for what seemed like hours, not wanting to believe what her eyes were telling her. Her mind was screaming at her, but she tried to ignore the words. It couldn't be... he wouldn't have...

One tentative step into the room later, Janet could no longer deny it. There was blood on the bedroom carpet. Lots of blood. A trail of it led to the bathroom door, which was standing partway open. There was also blood on the door handle.

_"None who have experienced the 'mind fever' live longer than a year after... In the end, they take their own lives."_

"No! Daniel?" she cried. She rushed over to the bathroom and pushed the door open wide.

There he was, sitting on the bathroom floor with his back slumped against the vanity, covered in blood. His eyes were staring straight ahead, dull and vacant. Lifeless.

"Daniel!" She dropped to her knees beside him and pressed her fingers to his neck, hoping desperately that she would find a pulse.

To her surprise, he rolled his eyes to the side to look at her, and the expression they held was one of utter misery and defeat.

She gasped and drew her hand away from him again. "Are you alright?" she asked, trying to get herself back under control after her fright. "What happened? Where are you hurt?"

He lifted his left arm, and she saw that his wrist was swathed in a blood-soaked bandage.

"Daniel, what happened?"

He dropped his hand limply into his lap. "Look at me," he said, his words slurred. "I'm so useless I can't even kill myself." He practically choked on the words as he tried not to cry.

"Kill yourself?" Janet repeated. "Why would you want to kill yourself?"

Daniel closed his eyes and turned his face away from her. "Just go away."

"Why would you try to kill yourself, Daniel?" she said louder, her voice filled with fear and anger.

"Because I'm useless!" he suddenly yelled. "I'm nothing! All I can do is sit around all day watching TV. Even then, I never know whether what I'm seeing is really there or just a figment of my imagination! I'm just a burden to everyone around me, especially you. You'd be better off without me."

Janet's anger multiplied a few dozen times over at this speech. The red she was seeing now was no longer Daniel's blood - it was her own rage. She grabbed the front of his shirt in her fists and let it all out. "Don't you _dare_! Don't you dare tell me I'd be better off without you! I'd be _nothing_ without you, Daniel Jackson! If you died now, I'd die, too! Why can't you understand that?" Tears flowed unheeded down her cheeks as she thumped him back against the vanity as punctuation to her words. "Why are you so desperate to leave me? You horrible, selfish bastard! After everything I've done for you, you'd just leave me? How could you hate me so much?"

Her voice and energy gave out on her then, and all she could do was sob. All the frustrations of the past weeks came flooding out of her, and she knew she couldn't stop it even if she tried. The thought of losing Daniel now was just too horrific. Her mind couldn't even take it in.

Janet didn't know how it happened, but suddenly she realized that she was being cradled in Daniel's lap, and he was crying into her hair. He was rocking them back and forth as he chanted over and over, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry."

She beat her fists against his chest. "Don't you give up on me now. You promised me you'd hang in there. You promised me!"

"I'm sorry, Janet. I'm so sorry."

Nothing more was said. Nothing more needed to be said. They simply held each other until their tears had run dry.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Daniel watched Janet's tear-stained face as she stitched up the gash in his wrist. He had never seen her look so pale and unnerved. He could tell she was only holding her hands steady with great effort, and she couldn't suppress the occasional wince as she worked.

He hated himself all the more for causing her so much pain. He couldn't believe he was even a failure at being a failure. He had been so close to ending it all forever, but when the blood had started to flow, some part of him had started screaming at him to stop. He had quickly pressed the hem of his shirt against the wound and somehow made it to the bathroom in time to bandage himself up before he had lost enough for it to be fatal. He hadn't thought of that as a good thing, though.

The next few hours had seemed like an eternity, but he hadn't moved from the spot. He hadn't even been thinking about anything, really. The amount of blood he had lost had left him feeling rather dazed, and he half hoped that meant he was dying, after all. He could feel himself slowly going into shock... until Janet had arrived.

He hadn't realized it until just now that she had come home a lot earlier than he'd expected, but he didn't dare to ask her why. He hadn't said anything since her outburst, and he wanted to keep it that way. It would be much too easy to say the wrong thing and set things off again.

When Janet was finished stitching and bandaging him up, she raised his arm and kissed the bandage over his wound. Then she looked him straight in the eye. "Don't you ever do that to me again."

Daniel shook his head, but didn't speak. He sure as hell wouldn't do anything like that again - ever. Not after he'd seen the fear in her eyes at the thought that he was dead. She really did love him. God, she really did love him! How could he have done this to her? How could he ever have doubted her?

"Come on," she said, "let's get you into some clean clothes and into bed." She stood up and helped him to his feet, wrapping her arm around his waist when he swayed with dizziness. "Can you make it?"

Daniel nodded and started for the door.

Once they were in the bedroom, Janet sat him down on the bed and peeled his soiled shirt off of him. He shivered with cold until she brought him a sweatshirt and helped him put it on. Even that didn't warm him up completely, though.

"You're probably feeling the cold because of the blood loss," she explained unnecessarily as she helped him change into a clean pair of sweatpants. Unlike him, she seemed to feel the need to say something. "Now you need to rest," she said as she turned back the covers for him to get into bed.

He meekly obeyed, climbing between the sheets and allowing her to pull the blankets up under his chin and tuck him in like a child. Then he just lay there looking up at her as she stood for a long moment stroking his hair.

"I'll get you some orange juice, okay?" she said, her voice quiet and her eyes full of tears. "That should help build up your blood again."

She went to leave, but Daniel pulled his hand out from under the covers and took hold of her arm. Once he was sure he had her attention again, he said, "Thank you."

He knew he should say more - thank you for coming home when you did; thank you for stitching me up; thank you for not leaving me to wallow in my own blood after doing something so stupid; thank you for loving me... but he didn't. He knew she would understand.

She did. She gave him a tiny smile and patted his hand. "I'll be right back," she said, and then she left the room.

Daniel tried to get comfortable in the bed while she was gone, but his throbbing arm didn't make it very easy. He wasn't about to complain, though. He deserved the pain after what he'd done. He'd just figured out a way of positioning his arm so that he wasn't putting any weight on his wound when Janet returned with the promised juice. Neither of them spoke as she helped him take a drink, and Janet even avoided making eye contact with him.

Just before she left again, Janet stroked his cheek and forced a smile for him. "Get some sleep," she said. "If you need me, just call. I'll be downstairs."

Daniel nodded. "'Kay."

She left the room again before he had the chance to say anything more.

Even though he was exhausted, he couldn't sleep. It was barely noon, after all, and even though the blinds were closed, the room was still very light. He stayed put, though, not wanting to upset Janet any further by not doing as he was told. He didn't even move.

He appreciated that she hadn't bombarded him with a whole bunch of questions about what had happened, but at the same time, he wished he could tell her all about it. He just didn't want to lay that kind of burden on her right away after what he'd already put her through.

She came up to check on him every hour on the hour, just poking her head in the room to see, he assumed, whether or not he was still breathing. On her fourth visit, he sat up and called her into the room.

"Would you mind if I came downstairs?" he asked. "I'm not sleeping, and I'm bored up here."

A look of pure guilt appeared on Janet's face, and it made Daniel's heart ache. "Of course you can," she said. "I'll set you up on the couch and put a movie on for you."

"Thank you."

Janet had to help him down the stairs, as he was still very unsteady on his feet, and then she helped him over to the couch where she surrounded him with pillows and blankets and everything else he could possibly need. He let her fuss over him as much as she wanted, as he knew that was her way of dealing with what had just happened. She even brought him a bowl of chicken noodle soup. He hadn't felt so loved in... well, in quite a while.

He couldn't help but wonder why he had ever wanted to leave.

It wasn't long before he began to doze, listening to the sounds of the movie Janet had put on for him and Janet unloading the dishwasher in the kitchen. He felt safe, he felt at peace... he felt at _home_. He burrowed down into the pillows more and allowed himself to fall asleep.

As soon as he drifted off, however, he headed into yet another nightmare. He was dying, and Janet was screaming as she tried to get to him. She was held back from him by something he couldn't see, and he was reaching for her... reaching... reaching...

"Daniel, wake up!"

He jerked awake to find Janet's worried face looking down at him and her hands shaking his shoulders. "Janet?"

"You were just having a bad dream," she said. She sounded about as shaken as he felt.

"Dream?" His head still hadn't cleared completely, and the dream had been so vivid that he couldn't quite grasp which was reality.

"A dream," she repeated, sitting down on the edge of the couch. "You were calling my name."

"I couldn't get to you. You were screaming... I couldn't get to you. I'm so sorry, Janet."

She smiled and stroked his hair. "Just a dream, Daniel. Everything's going to be okay."

The way she said it, he almost believed it.

He spent the remainder of the day dozing in front of the television and occasionally forcing himself to eat whatever Janet brought him, but finally Janet announced that it was time for him to go back to bed. He didn't protest as she led him up the stairs and tucked him in again.

"I'll be coming to bed soon, okay?" she said as she was leaving the room. "Try to sleep now."

Daniel did try to sleep, but after having another nightmare, he found he just couldn't do it. He waited and waited for Janet to come, but it seemed like forever before he heard her light step on the stairs.

She entered the room silently, made a quick trip to the bathroom, and then slipped into bed without even saying a word. She immediately turned on her side away from him, so Daniel assumed she thought he was asleep.

"Janet?"

She didn't move. "Go to sleep, Daniel," she said.

Her voice sounded tired, so Daniel didn't speak again. He lay there listening to her breathing, wishing he could take her in his arms as he slept like he used to do. It always comforted him to have a woman's calm presence that close to him when he drifted off to sleep. He'd found that was the only way to prevent the nightmares that so often plagued him throughout his life. Holding Janet had always brought him restful sleep and sweet, beautiful dreams. If only he could have that now.

A couple of hours passed in silence before Daniel heard a slight noise coming from Janet's side of the bed. He wasn't sure what it was at first, until he heard it again.

Janet was crying.

He turned on his side to face her and reached out his hand to touch her shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Janet flinched at his touch. Daniel tried to tell himself it was out of surprise rather than discomfort, but he wasn't sure. "Sorry I woke you," she said. "Just go back to sleep, okay?"

Daniel propped himself up on his elbow to get a better look at her. "No, I think we should talk about this."

Janet sighed. "I really think it best that we don't, Daniel. We'd just end up fighting."

"No, we..."

"Look, we're both tired, Sam will be coming in the morning to give you another treatment... we both need to _sleep_, not talk." She thumped her pillow and squirmed a bit to get more comfortable.

Daniel felt stricken. "Tomorrow, then?"

She didn't answer.

"Janet?"

No response.

Daniel sighed and reached out to touch her again, but stopped an inch away from her. He didn't want to push too hard for fear of pushing her away entirely, so he closed his hand into a fist and turned over onto his back. There would be time enough for them to talk tomorrow.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Sam had been concerned about her friends when she was told that Janet had suddenly gone home after not being able to get an answer from Daniel on the phone. She had called that night to ask how things were going, and was dumbstruck when Janet had poured out the whole story to her. Janet had asked that she not tell anyone what had happened, and especially not to tell Daniel that she knew, so Sam had been in agony for the rest of the day not knowing what to do.

She set out bright and early for their house the next morning, determined that she was going to do the best damn job she could so that this whole mess would end once and for all.

Janet greeted her at the door and let her inside. As soon as she entered the house, she saw Daniel sitting on the couch, propped up against all kinds of pillows and cushions and covered in blankets. He looked quite pale, but very relaxed. He even offered her a weak smile when she came and sat down beside him.

"Hey, Sam," he said.

"Hey. Not feeling too good today?" She hoped she was doing better than she thought at keeping her knowledge of yesterday's events a secret.

"Just tired," he said.

Sam nodded and looked over at Janet. "Should I just go ahead?" she asked.

"Yes, please do," Janet replied. She then went over to Daniel, cupped his chin in her hand, and tilted his face up to look at her. "I just have to go out for a few minutes, okay?" she said. "I'll be back in plenty of time before you wake up."

"Okay."

Janet led Sam aside before she left, explaining that she was going to the drug store for something better to use on Daniel's wound to prevent it from getting infected. "Would you stay until I get back?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure," Sam agreed. Then she watched as Janet hurried out the door.

She turned back to Daniel then, and she got a little nervous when she saw how down he looked. "You sure you're okay?" she asked, sitting back down beside him.

He nodded. "Yeah, I just... how long do you think this is going to take?"

"You mean this treatment, or the whole thing?"

"The whole thing."

Sam chewed on the inside of her lip as she thought this over. "I'm not sure exactly," she said. "You're definitely improving with each treatment, though. It won't be long now, I can promise you."

Daniel sighed and nodded, though he didn't look convinced.

"You sure there's nothing you want to talk about before I do this?" she asked.

Daniel looked at her closely as if trying to figure out whether she had an underlying motive for asking that question. Sam kept her best poker face on throughout his examination, and it seemed to be effective. He sighed again and looked down. "I... had more hallucinations yesterday," he said. "And I'm still having the nightmares. It's just not going away, Sam. I'm scared it never will."

Sam laid her hand on his arm and stroked it reassuringly. "I don't know why you're still having the hallucinations, Daniel," she said. "I honestly don't. But I promise you, we will get to the bottom of it, and we will fix it. You won't be like this forever."

Daniel looked up at her with sad, but hopeful eyes. "Thanks, Sam."

"I mean it," she said. "Don't give up."

He forced a smile and settled back against his pillows. "I'm ready now."

Sam took a deep breath and activated the healing device.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	41. Chapter 41

**Mind Fever - Chapter 41**

  
  
Daniel passed out as soon as Sam was finished treating him, and he slept soundly for quite a while afterwards. He woke up to complete silence, but he could tell from the way his blankets had been arranged snug and warm around him that Janet had been back. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards at the thought. It was nice to have her mothering him again.

He stretched lazily and sat up, going over his usual checklist to figure out what this treatment had done to him. He was pleased to discover that there was no headache, no floaty feeling in his head, and no feeling of irritability rising up from the pit of his stomach. He felt tired, but relaxed. He only hoped it would last this time.

As he stood up, he caught a glimpse through the window of Janet sitting out on the front porch. It was such a homey sight that he felt he just had to be near her. He took the afghan from the back of the couch, wrapped it around his shoulders, and went outside.

Janet was deeply engrossed in the book she was reading, but she looked up at the sound of the front door opening. She looked confused as Daniel shuffled over to her without a word and sat down beside her on the porch swing, and when he laid down on his side with his head in her lap, she seemed downright uncomfortable for a moment. Then she put down her book and gingerly rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Everything alright?" she asked.

"Mm, fine," Daniel said, still sleepy enough that his words were a bit slurred. "Just wanted to be with you."

Janet was silent for a moment, and Daniel could almost feel her holding her breath. "You did?" she finally asked.

Daniel winced at this quiet question. She really must think he hated her. "Is that so hard to believe?" he asked.

"A little."

Daniel sighed sorrowfully. "I'm sorry I've been such a pain in the ass, Janet."

"I never said you were."

"No, you haven't... but I know I have been." He huffed an ironic laugh. "I admire your restraint."

Janet seemed to stiffen at this.

Daniel was suddenly afraid that he had said something wrong. He turned slightly to look over his shoulder at her, and was stricken at the hurt look on her face. "I... I wasn't being sarcastic, Janet, I..."

Janet blinked and relaxed a little. "No, I know you weren't. Thank you."

Daniel sighed again and resumed his former position, only this time he laid a gentle hand on her knee. "No matter what I do, I hurt you one way or another," he said. "I don't mean to."

"I know," Janet said as she started to tentatively stroke his hair.

Daniel closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling for a moment. "I meant it when I said we needed to talk," he said once he felt the silence had stretched on for long enough.

Janet took a deep breath, curling a lock of his hair over her fingers. "I know."

"Some things... need to be worked out between us."

"I agree."

He slowly turned over so that he was on his back looking up at her. "We can't go on like this," he said, "barely talking unless we're fighting. I don't mean to be so... irritable. Sometimes I just can't seem to stop myself."

She nodded, her eyes looking tired and pained.

"I know you miss it... the way we used to be."

Janet swallowed hard. "Yes, I do."

Daniel clenched his jaw, anger towards himself rising in his chest at the pain written all over her face. "I wish none of this had ever happened, Janet. I wish I hadn't forgotten what we once had and treated you the way I have these past weeks. I wish I hadn't become more of a patient to you than a... lover."

"I don't."

Daniel blinked up at her in confusion. That certainly wasn't what he had expected her to say. "Y... you don't?"

She shook her head, smiled sadly, and cupped his chin in her hand. "I love you, Daniel," she said softly. "It may sound strange, but in a way... I'm sort of glad I've had the opportunity to show it. Not everyone gets that chance."

He stared at her for a moment as these words sank in. Yes, it sounded strange, but it was also... nice. He smiled and reached up to stroke her arm. "I love you, too."

Janet's mouth fell open in surprise. "You... I thought you said..."

"I know. I changed my mind. Well, actually, I remembered changing my mind once before." He lifted his hand further to touch her face, curling his fingers around her neck and stroking her cheekbone with his thumb. "I do love you, Janet. You can trust me on that."

She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand, savouring the first gentle touch she had felt from him in weeks.

"That's why I wanted to talk to you last night," he went on. "I didn't want to fight. I wanted to tell you how sorry I was... and how much I loved you."

Janet looked doubtful even though he could tell she wanted very much to believe him. "Forgive me, Daniel, but you have a funny way of showing it," she said.

Daniel touched her face lightly with the backs of his fingers as he tried to think of what to say. His heart ached for her and what he'd put her through, but he wasn't sure how to tell her that. "I know," he said. "I'm sorry. It's only myself I've been angry with, though, not you." He lowered his hand again, and took hold of the hand that was cupping his chin. He brought it to his lips and kissed her palm, and then pressed it to his cheek. "Never you."

"Then why do you want to leave?" Janet asked, her voice shaking with emotion.

Daniel just gazed at her silently for a moment, feeling overwhelming guilt that he was the one who had put that grief in her eyes and the lines of exhaustion on her face. "I don't," he said at last.

Janet looked surprised but hopeful at this. "You don't? But you said..."

"I did... before. But now I want to fix this, not walk away from it."

"Fix..."

"Us."

The look of confusion returned to Janet's face. "I have to admit, I never expected to hear you say that."

"Do... do you _want_ me to leave?" he asked anxiously.

Janet suddenly looked like she was going to cry, but she bit it back and said, "Daniel, I want you to stay so badly it hurts."

Daniel kissed her palm again in relief, though he was still angry with himself for causing her such agony. "I'm sorry I wanted to leave you, Janet. I just... I hate putting you through all of this."

Janet shook her head. "That's what love is all about, Daniel. Sticking with each other even in the worst of times. Standing by your loved one's side when all you want to do is run away."

"You really love me that much? That you're willing to put up with so much pain just to stick with me?"

She smiled softly. "You know I do."

Daniel returned the smile. "Then I must be the luckiest 'horrible, selfish bastard' alive," he teased.

Janet gasped and raised her free hand to her mouth. "Oh, Daniel, I'm so sorry I said that. I didn't mean..."

"No. I deserved it. You were right, I wasn't thinking about how it would affect you if I..." His voice trailed off, as all of a sudden he couldn't even stand to think about what he'd almost done, let alone put it into words.

They sat in comfortable silence for a little while, and Janet took to stroking his hair again. "You never did tell me what brought that on, anyway," she said. "Why did you suddenly want to kill yourself?"

Daniel sighed, pressed her hand more tightly against the side of his face, and closed his eyes. "I'm so tired, Janet," he said. "The nightmares, the hallucinations... just in the time you were gone, I thought I saw an Unas walk by the window and a huge cockroach crawl across the TV screen."

"I thought those had stopped."

He sighed again. "So did I. I guess when that happened I just... gave up. Lost hope. I didn't want to go through the rest of my life that way. I would rather have died than that."

"You're talking in the past tense. What changed your mind?"

Daniel opened his eyes again to look at her. "You."

"Me?"

Daniel chewed thoughtfully on his lip for a moment. "I think I didn't go through with it because some part of me knew that I would miss you too much. I know I said I wanted to leave, but that was a cop-out. I knew that even if I left, I'd still be able to see you whenever I wanted to, I just wouldn't be such a trial for you anymore. Death... that would have kept us apart forever."

"You don't have to leave at all, Daniel," she said quietly.

"I know. I mean, I know that _now_. I wanted to leave because I hate that I've been such a burden to you. Some part of me was trying to keep my distance because I didn't want you to have to care for me for the rest of your life. I wanted to get well enough that I could go it alone, but... after those hallucinations, I figured that wasn't an option." He paused as he felt his eyes fill with tears. "I never thought you really loved me. I thought you were just taking care of me out of pity or some sense of obligation because you used to love me."

"That's not..."

Daniel touched his fingers to her mouth. "Shh... let me finish." He lowered his hand and continued, "When you came in and found me there... I hated myself even more for putting you through that kind of pain. That wasn't my intention at all - just the opposite. Then you said all those things..." He shook his head. "I never knew you felt that way. If I'd known... God, Janet, I'm so sorry."

Janet smiled tearfully. "And now that you do?"

"Now that I do... I won't give up. Even if I'm like this forever, I won't give up as long as you're with me."

"Is that a promise?"

Daniel slowly sat up, took her face in his hands and placed a tender kiss on her lips. It didn't last for long, but it was enough to put their relationship back on track right there and then. He leaned his forehead against hers and whispered, "That's a vow."

"Till death do us part?" Janet asked in a sly voice.

A slow smile spread across Daniel's face. "Something like that," he said. Then he kissed her again, a kiss that was much longer and more intimate than the first. It was the kind of kiss that only two people who are truly in love can ever share, and Daniel treasured every second of it.

When they finally separated, Daniel leaned his forehead against hers again. "Wow," he said breathlessly. "I haven't done that in a long time."

"Me either."

Daniel gave a short laugh. "Good."

Janet turned serious then. "Daniel, about Andrew..."

A wave of anxiety swept over him as his old doubts and fears refused to go away completely. "Yes?"

"I want you to know that there can never be anyone for me but you. Even if he does care about me a little more than a friend would... it doesn't matter to me. I only want you."

Daniel felt his eyes tear up again at her earnestness. "As much as I question your sanity in that... I'm glad," he said, forcing a tiny smile.

Janet laughed and drew him in for a loving hug. She kissed the side of his head, massaged the back of his neck with one hand, and stroked his back with the other, making Daniel feel so warm inside he thought he might burst.

Soon a feeling of uneasiness started nagging away at him, however. He held her tightly but tenderly and nestled his face against her neck. "I'm so scared, Janet."

"I know. But we'll get through this."

Daniel took a deep breath, mostly out of nervousness but also to fully enjoy her beautiful scent. "I hope so."

"I know so." She pulled back from him and kissed his forehead, and then guided his head back down into her lap.

Daniel smiled as she started adjusting the afghan more securely around him, and he planted a light kiss on her knee. "Cassie was right, you know," he said as he felt her fingers threading gently through his hair.

"About what?"

"Us. We just... belong."

She didn't answer for a minute, and the feeling of her massaging his scalp was so relaxing that he began to fall asleep. The last thing he heard before he drifted off was her whispering, "It's good to have you back, Daniel."  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	42. Chapter 42

**Mind Fever - Chapter 42**

  
  
Once Daniel woke up from his nap, he and Janet passed a pleasant afternoon together. They seemed to have made an unspoken pact to put the past few weeks behind them and to just allow themselves to slip back into their old comfortable relationship. It wasn't easy, but Daniel was determined to try.

He noticed right away that she took every opportunity she could to touch him or pamper him, and it made him feel like a king. She even played with his hair more than once, something that never failed to make him feel better. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.

As they were eating lunch together on the living room couch, Daniel looked over at the empty spot where their picture used to be. He still felt horribly guilty for ruining it, and wished that he could do something about it.

Then it hit him - maybe there _was_ something he could do about it.

He waited patiently for his opportunity, and a couple of hours later it came. He was sitting in the living room watching a special on the History Channel about the pyramids when Janet came to him and said, "Daniel, I'm going to have a bath, okay? I won't be long."

"Take your time," Daniel said, smiling to himself as she turned towards the stairs. "I'll be fine." He sat back and listened to her footsteps as she climbed the stairs, entered the bedroom, and then closed the door to the bathroom behind her.

As soon as he felt she was safely out of the way, Daniel got up from the couch and went through to the kitchen. He quickly hunted out the phone book and started leafing through the pages. "Restaurants, restaurants..." he muttered under his breath. "Ah, here we are." He scanned the pages for the name Taste of Morocco, and finally he found it.

Before he knew it, he had dialled the number and it was ringing. He started to get a little nervous as he waited for someone to answer, but he took a deep breath and reminded himself that this was for Janet. He had to somehow make up for his actions, and he felt this was his best shot.

Finally, someone's voice greeted him on the other end of the line. He wasn't sure how to go about asking for what he wanted, so he figured he might as well just get straight to the point.

"Hi, I have a question about the photographer who works for you... I was wondering whether he happens to keep the negatives for the photographs he takes?"

Five minutes later, Daniel hung up the phone feeling light as a feather. They not only had the negative of the picture of him and Janet still in their archives, but they were also willing to reprint and deliver it to him within twenty-four hours. It was costing him a ridiculous amount of money, but he didn't care. The thought of how thrilled Janet would be when she saw it had him walking on air.

When Janet came down the stairs a few minutes later, her hair still damp and her face red from her hot bath, Daniel couldn't help but envelope her in a warm embrace. She seemed surprised at first, but then she sighed and hugged him right back. Daniel felt so happy he could cry. "Are we really doing this?" he asked in wonder. "This isn't just a dream is it?"

"Doing what?" Janet asked, pulling back to look up into his face.

Daniel fingered the damp little curls around her ears. "Picking up the pieces. Finally getting past all the crap we've been going through. God, Janet, I never want to feel that depressed and hopeless again."

"You won't have to, Daniel," she said, smiling that beautiful smile just for him. "We're getting through this. Just don't push me away again... please."

"I won't. Not ever again."

That was a promise he fully intended to keep.

By nightfall, however, Daniel was starting to get a little nervous. In a way, it had been easier to sleep in the same bed with her while they had been holding each other at arm's length. Now that they had resolved their issues and were trying to fix their relationship, he wasn't quite sure what he should and shouldn't do or say. He just knew for a fact that he didn't want to spend another night with his back to her. He loved her too much for that.

Janet took her things into the bathroom again to change, and for some reason that gave Daniel a bad feeling. Did she still not completely trust him? Was she just not ready for that yet? He didn't know what to think. It nearly broke his heart when she got into bed without a word and turned on her side away from him. Was she angry? Was she still uncomfortable sleeping with him?

He kicked himself when he realized what he was doing. Thinking things like that and not _asking_ her what she was thinking and feeling was what had damaged their relationship in the first place. So, he worked up his courage, took a deep breath, and scooted closer to her.

"Hey," he said as he wrapped his arm around her waist. When she didn't move away or protest, he held her close against his chest, resting his cheek against her hair.

For a long time, Janet didn't speak, just lay there stroking his arm in complete silence. Daniel didn't mind - as long as he could hold her, he didn't care if she never said a word.

He almost had a heart attack when she started squirming out of his grasp a few minutes later. "I'm sorry," he said, pulling his arm away from her. "Are you okay?"

"Shh, it's okay, Daniel," she said. She turned onto her back and lay there looking up at him, reaching up to run her fingertips over his face. Daniel would have let her do whatever she wanted as long as she kept on gazing at him with that soft, loving look in her eyes. "These last few weeks have been awful, Daniel," she whispered. "Every night you've been lying here beside me, yet I've never felt more alone."

Daniel kissed her nose, the old familiar action coming naturally to him now. "Well, you don't have to feel that way anymore. Come here." He turned over onto his back and pulled her along with him until her head rested on his chest.

Janet sighed and snuggled up to him as he wrapped his arms around her. "I've missed you so much, Daniel."

"I've missed you, too." There was silence for some time as they lay there enjoying each other's presence. Daniel slowly stroked her back while still holding her as tight as he dared. "I can't believe I forgot how good this feels," he finally said.

Janet pushed herself up with her hands on his chest and smiled at him. Then she lowered herself down again to kiss him long and hard.

Daniel couldn't suppress a moan at this sudden passionate display. He held her face in his hands to prevent her from ending it, and soaked up the sensations like a sponge. This wasn't like the slow, gentle kiss they had shared earlier. This was full of passion and hunger, and sent a wave of electricity from his head to his toes.

When they finally parted, they were both gasping for breath. Neither of them could speak for a minute as they tried to calm themselves down again. Soon Daniel cleared his throat and said with a slight laugh, "That felt even better."

Janet smiled, but soon grew serious again. "Daniel?"

"Hmm?" he said as he traced the outline of her face with his fingertips.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

She paused for a moment, and then said, "Will you marry me?"

Daniel's hand froze against her cheek, and he stared into her eyes for a long moment. He felt for sure he hadn't heard her correctly. When the words finally sank in, and he saw the anxious look on Janet's face as she awaited his answer, he dropped his hand to his side. "No."

Janet's jaw dropped, and she looked absolutely stricken. "N...no?"

A slow, evil grin spread across Daniel's face. "That's supposed to be _my_ question," he said. It felt so good to tease her again.

Janet's look of overwhelming relief warmed his heart. "Is that a yes?" she asked, teasing him right back.

"I'll let you know when I see the ring."

At Janet's joyful laugh, Daniel rolled her over onto her back and leaned down to kiss her with all of the passion he'd been holding inside for so long. She eagerly kissed him back and laced her fingers through his hair in the way he'd always loved. He was overjoyed that she wasn't pushing him away... that she trusted him again. She lay completely relaxed and contented in his arms as he kissed her senseless.

He finally had to breathe again, so he ended the kiss and nestled his face between her neck and shoulder as he tried to catch his breath. His entire body was trembling, and he was pretty sure hers was, too, as she held his head in place with one hand and stroked the back of his neck with the other. He was in heaven.

After a moment, Daniel softly kissed her neck, relishing the taste of her skin. To his delight, she sighed and tilted her head away from him in a silent plea for him to continue. Not wanting to disappoint her, he placed a few more feather-light kisses on her neck and reached back to stroke the hand that was now playing with his hair. His hand moved down along her arm as he began to trail kisses from her neck to her jaw, across her cheek, and finally back to her mouth.

He couldn't remember feeling happier than he did right then as the horrors of the last few weeks were melted away by her loving kiss.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Janet turned up the volume on the radio so that it filled the whole house. Daniel was sitting out on the porch, and she had some major housecleaning to do after the way she had been slacking off for the past few days. Listening to music always made the task seem easier somehow.

As she worked, she mulled over the events of the past couple of days. She could still hardly believe she had her old Daniel back. She kept thinking it must be a dream, but then she'd see him there and her breath would suddenly catch in her throat as the reality of it hit her.

She knew he still wasn't completely healed - that had been proven the night before when, after they had made love and fallen asleep in each other's arms, he'd had nightmare after nightmare and even a hallucination of a Goa'uld symbiote trying to worm its way into her neck - but his attitude was different now. He didn't push her away anymore, not even during his hallucination. She held him through his nightmares and calmed him down with her soothing words and caresses when he woke up in a panic, and he accepted it gratefully.

It boggled her mind how much he had changed since she had found him sitting there covered in his own blood, feeling useless and unloved.

She hauled the vacuum out of the closet and turned it on, trying to get the living room carpet vacuumed as quickly as possible so that she didn't miss too much of the music that was playing. She always hated the noise of the vacuum cleaner, but it was a job that had to be done.

Once she was finished, she turned it off, unplugged it, and squatted down to coil the cord around the knob on the back. As she did so, she suddenly felt a presence behind her.

Startled, she jumped to her feet and spun around. "Daniel!" she gasped, her hand flying to her chest as she tried to calm herself down again. "You startled me. I didn't hear you come inside."

Daniel just stood there staring at her with his hands behind his back and a small, somewhat triumphant smile on his face. "Sorry," he said. "The vacuum was on."

"Right." Janet gave him an odd look as he continued to stare at her. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

His smile grew a little bit. "I have something for you," he said, and held one hand out in front of him to present her with a large manila envelope.

Janet narrowed her eyes at him as she took it from him. "What is it?"

"Just open it."

With one more suspicious glance at Daniel, Janet opened the flap and reached inside the envelope to pull out whatever was inside. When she saw what it was, she gasped in surprise. "Daniel!" she breathed. "Where did you get this?"

He grinned and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I phoned the restaurant yesterday," he said. "Turns out the photographer kept the negatives of all the pictures he took. I had him make another copy and deliver it right to our door."

Janet shook her head in disbelief. She tried to speak, but found that she couldn't. All she could do was throw her arms around his neck and try not to cry.

Daniel laughed and squeezed her tightly against him. "So, I finally did something right?" he asked.

Janet pushed back from him and gave him a firm kiss on the lips. "This is way more than right, Daniel," she said. "You're an angel. I love you so much." Her voice broke on the last words, so all she could do was hug him again.

"I love you, too," he said, planting a sweet kiss on her temple.

When she finally released him, she went over to the place where the picture used to sit, and put the new one there in its place. Without a frame, she had to prop it up against the wall, but it didn't matter. This really was a sign that they were going to be okay.

Daniel came up behind her as she stood there gazing at it and wrapped his arms around her waist. Janet leaned back against him and he rested his chin on the top of her head. They fit together so perfectly that way.

"So, you really want to spend the rest of your life with a guy like me, huh?" he said, swaying softly in time to the music.

Janet stroked his arms and remained completely relaxed as she allowed him to move her body from side to side along with his. "No, I want to spend the rest of my life with _you_." Even though she couldn't see his face, she could almost feel his smile as he kissed her hair. Then she felt him stiffen and cock his head as though listening for something. "I know that song," he said.

Janet brought her head down from the clouds just long enough to listen to the song that had just started on the radio. She recognized it right away - The Way You Look Tonight. She smiled at the memory it brought to mind. "Yes. Do you remember why?"

Daniel stood listening for a moment, humming along with the melody, and then it was like a light bulb went on over his head. He turned her around to face him and said, "It was the first song we danced to!"

Janet beamed at him. "That's right."

Daniel didn't waste a second. He crossed the room, turned the radio up, and then returned to her and took her hand. Then he pulled her towards himself, put his other arm around her waist, and started swaying to the music.

"We're dancing!" Janet said in mock surprise.

"Yes, we are." Daniel laughed and pulled her away from himself to spin her around. "With each word your tenderness grows," he quietly sang along with Sinatra as he wrapped his arms around her again. "Tearing my fear apart... And that laugh that wrinkles your nose, touches my foolish heart..."

Janet sighed and leaned her head against his chest in contentment.

"Your laugh really does wrinkle your nose, you know," Daniel murmured into her hair.

Janet looked up at him again, not sure whether he was teasing or being serious.

"That's one of the things I love the most about you," he said, and placed a light kiss on the facial feature in question.

Janet gaped at him as she suddenly clued in. "Is that why you always kiss my nose like that?" she asked in amused indignation.

He grinned at her playfully. "I'm giving all my secrets away now, aren't I?"

Janet didn't know whether to swat him or kiss him, so instead she just snuggled her face against his chest and enjoyed the rest of the dance.

The song had barely come to an end before she heard the phone ring. Janet groaned and reluctantly dragged herself away from Daniel's arms. He gave her one last kiss on the forehead before she dashed off to answer it.

"Hello?" she said breathlessly once she picked up the receiver.

"Janet, it's Sam," said the excited voice on the other end. "I have some big news. In fact, you might want to sit down for this."

"O...kay," Janet said. She sat down at the table and waved her hand at Daniel, who had followed her and was standing in the kitchen doorway. He stepped farther into the room and laid a concerned hand on her arm. Janet covered the mouthpiece with her hand. "It's Sam," she whispered.

Daniel nodded and sat down beside her, watching her expectantly.

"Alright, I'm sitting down," she told Sam. "What do you need to tell me?"

She heard Sam take a deep breath. "We think we've figured out why Daniel hasn't fully recovered yet."

Janet sat in silence waiting for Sam to continue, but when nothing else was said, she urged, "Go on."

"We've found traces of a foreign chemical in Daniel's system. We thought at first it was just a harmless by-product of the illness, something like the protein marker that was left behind in my blood after Jolinar died. Dr. James and his team have been analyzing it ever since it was discovered, though, and they've just figured out what it is."

Janet made direct eye contact with Daniel throughout Sam's speech, and the concern in his eyes was growing stronger with each moment that passed. He took her hand and squeezed it, waiting patiently for her to pass the news on to him. "And... what is it?" she asked.

"It's a hallucinogen for starters," Sam said. Janet closed her eyes in both relief and despair as Sam continued, "It's also what's causing Daniel's brain chemicals to be out of balance. From what Dr. James was telling me, it sounds as though it was designed to completely throw the body's glandular system out of whack, making it impossible to regulate the amount of adrenaline, dopamine, melatonin, and various other chemicals that are created."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Janet interrupted. "You said 'designed?'"

"Yes. We believe the mind fever organisms were designed to release this chemical once their work was done, so that anyone who managed to survive the disease would live in misery for the rest of their lives anyway, and probably be depressed enough that they would eventually kill themselves."

Janet's stomach lurched at these words. "So what you're saying is," she said in a low voice, "even what you're doing with the healing device won't put Daniel right again."

Daniel stiffened and looked like he was about to cry. She gave his hand an encouraging squeeze and shot him a wordless apology with her eyes.

"Well... yes," Sam said hesitantly, "the healing device hasn't been able to heal him completely because of the presence of this chemical in his system. But Janet... we think we may have found the antidote."  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	43. Chapter 43

**Mind Fever - Chapter 43**

  
  
"So... technically, none of this has actually been me."

Janet took her eyes off the road long enough to shoot a curious glance over at Daniel. "What?"

"The depression, mood swings, anger issues..."

"We knew all along that it was a chemical imbalance, Daniel."

He sighed in frustration. "Yes, but not _my_ chemicals. It was those damn bugs!"

Janet tried to stifle her smile, but didn't completely succeed. "Either way, no one ever blamed you," she said in all seriousness.

Through the corner of her eye, she saw Daniel glance over at her and then turn back to looking out of his window. "Yeah."

As she stopped at a busy intersection, Janet reached for his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "This is going to work, Daniel. By this time tomorrow, you'll be yourself again. I can feel it."

Daniel forced a smile for her benefit. "I hope so."

He remained silent for the rest of the drive, and when they finally arrived at the SGC, he was starting to look almost petrified. Janet went around to his side of the car as they got out, and she took his hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing it tight.

"Ready?" she asked.

Daniel took a slow, deep breath and nodded. "As I'll ever be."

Janet stroked his arm with her free hand for added encouragement as they entered the complex and made their way down to the infirmary.

A small crowd greeted them on Level 21, and though she could feel him stiffen as he gripped her hand ever tighter, Daniel took it all very well. Teal'c, Sam, Dr. Lee, Lt. Satterfield... all of Daniel's friends and colleagues were there, as they had all heard about the antidote and wanted to offer him all the support and well wishes that they could. Janet was almost in tears at the attention they were lavishing on him.

Colonel O'Neill's smile could have turned night into day it was so bright as he engulfed Daniel in a bear hug. Daniel laughed and returned the hug with one arm while still holding onto Janet's hand as if for dear life.

When Colonel O'Neill finally released him, he looked down at their intertwined hands and, if possible, his smile grew even wider. "Hey! You two look... better."

Daniel smiled shyly. "Thanks, Jack. We are better."

The colonel's smile faded into a more curious look and he studied Daniel warily. "You know, for a while there I really thought you guys were pretty much over," he said. "What changed?"

Daniel looked down at Janet and shrugged. "I don't know," he said, obviously not wanting to share the entire story of the misunderstandings about Andrew and his attempt at suicide. "We just... told each other how we felt - both good and bad. Then we went from there."

"Uh huh. And the two of you are..."

"Getting married," Janet was quick to jump in and say.

She heard a squeal coming from Sam's direction, but Colonel O'Neill merely raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Getting married," he repeated. He nodded slowly and looked at Daniel. "Sweet. Need a best man?"

Daniel grinned. "As a matter of fact, I do," he said. "Know anybody?"

"Oh, I think I might know someone," he said casually, rocking back and forth on his heels as he put his hands in his pockets. "How about... me?"

"Hmm... I don't know," Daniel said, feigning reluctance. "We'll think about it."

Colonel O'Neill grinned and clapped Daniel on the back. Then both Daniel and Janet had to deal with the swarm of people who now wanted to congratulate them on their engagement.

Just as Janet was starting to feel a little overwhelmed, Colonel O'Neill stuck his fingers in his mouth and whistled. "Hey! Give them some room, folks," he said, and the crowd obediently dispersed.

Sam laughed and took Janet's arm in hers. "Come on, guys," she said. "Let's get you set up in the medical bay before Bregman comes nosing around."

"Bregman?" Janet asked as she and Daniel followed Sam, the colonel, and Teal'c into the main room of the infirmary.

"Yeah, some annoying journalist guy who wants to make a movie about the SGC," Colonel O'Neill explained with a roll of his eyes. "Don't worry, we'll keep him away from you."

Janet was puzzled by this. "A movie about the SGC?" she asked.

"A documentary," Sam explained. "It'll be locked away until the Stargate program is made public... if and when that ever happens." She looked uncomfortable at the idea, to say the least. "We've all been ordered to submit to an interview while he's here."

"Did General Hammond not promise that Dr. Fraiser would give an interview when she was next on the base?" Teal'c asked.

"She can't do it now," Colonel O'Neill snapped. "Not while Daniel's in here for his treatment."

"Actually, now would be the perfect time," Andrew said as he came walking into the medical bay. "I need to check Daniel over first, run a few tests... shouldn't take more than fifteen, twenty minutes, but it would be the perfect time for Janet to have her interview."

He looked over at Janet as he spoke, and she could tell he was trying to tell her something. She could pretty much guess what he was asking for - he wanted a few minutes alone with Daniel to hopefully do some damage control. A few days ago, she would never have allowed it, but she knew now that Daniel wouldn't do anything awful while she was gone.

"Okay," she said. "Where do I go?"

"I'll take you to him, Janet," Sam offered.

Janet turned to Daniel, who was sitting on one of the infirmary cots looking rather anxious and dejected. "I won't be long, Daniel," she said. She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and whispered, "Be good."

"'Kay," he said. "I'll see you soon."

Janet smiled and squeezed his shoulder. Then she followed Sam from the room before she had a chance to change her mind.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Daniel watched with an aching heart as one by one, his friends all left the medical bay. He hadn't counted on this - he'd thought Janet would be with him the entire time. He wasn't sure he was ready yet to be left alone with Carmichael.

The doctor seemed one hundred percent professional, though, as he gathered his medical supplies and brought a cartful of them over to Daniel's side. That just made Daniel feel guilty. He knew he couldn't have been that casual around someone who had acted the way he had at Janet's birthday party.

'Whoever said that silence is golden hadn't been in a room with two silent men who were in love with the same woman,' Daniel thought to himself. The fact that Carmichael hadn't spoken yet was setting his teeth on edge.

"Okay," Carmichael finally said as he prepared a needle, "I'm just going to take a blood sample first. You know the drill." He took Daniel's left arm and started to pull up the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

As soon as Daniel realized what he was doing, he tried to flinch away from him, but he was too late.

"What is this?" Carmichael asked in surprise when he saw the bandage over his wrist. "Were you injured?"

"Uh... it's nothing... important." Daniel shrugged his arm out of Carmichael's grasp and pulled the sleeve back down. "Here, use this one," he said, holding his right arm out and rolling up the sleeve.

Carmichael wasn't buying it. "Daniel, what happened to your arm?"

"Just... an accident," Daniel said nervously. "It's fine. Janet patched me up."

"What kind of ac..."

"Look, could we just get on with this?" Daniel snapped. When he realized what he'd done, he sheepishly added, "Please?"

Carmichael took a slow breath. "Daniel, I'm going to ask you to let me take a look at it," he said.

"Janet..."

"I know she patched you up, but Daniel, I'm your doctor. Your health is my responsibility, so I need to see it."

Daniel knew by Carmichael's firm tone that he wasn't going to win this argument, so he huffed in frustration and yanked the sleeve back up.

Carmichael carefully unwrapped the bandages and examined the wound. "It looks deep, but I don't think it's getting infected," he said.

"I've been putting antiseptic cream on it every few hours."

"That's good," Carmichael said. He looked Daniel straight in the eye then and asked frankly, "What did it? A razor blade?"

Daniel swallowed hard and looked down. "No, it was a... penknife."

"Clean?"

"Basically."

Carmichael sighed and folded his arms across his chest. "When?"

"Two days ago."

He nodded. "Do I need to be concerned about this?"

Daniel looked up at him guiltily. "It won't happen again, if that's what you mean."

"You're sure?"

Daniel nodded. "Positive. It... it was a... very bad day. Things are... better now."

"Between you and Janet?"

Daniel ducked his head and didn't answer. He wasn't about to confide in this guy about his relationship with Janet. No way in hell.

"I'm not blind, Daniel," Carmichael said once he realized Daniel wasn't going to speak. "I've seen what's been going on between the two of you. Janet's been beside herself worrying about you, thinking you were itching to leave at the earliest opportunity."

"I know," Daniel said quietly. He couldn't believe that Carmichael dared to tell him anything about Janet, like he didn't know his own fiancée. He really wished he hadn't been left alone with him. This conversation was starting to make his temper flare again.

"I saw you in the window the other night," Carmichael went on.

Daniel winced at the memory. "I know that, too."

"She's a wonderful woman, Daniel. And I do care about her."

Daniel raised his eyes to glare at him. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"I've been worried about her through all of this. It's been hard on her. _You've_ been hard on her."

"Are you going somewhere with this?" Daniel asked, his voice quiet and laced with anger.

"Yes. I'm telling you that more than anything in this world, I want Janet to be happy." He paused, and then added, "Unfortunately, I'm not the one who can make that happen. You are."

Daniel straightened his back a little and sized the other man up. "Still don't see why you're saying all of this," he said warily.

"I'm saying it because I don't want to be hiding any secrets from you. I care about her, but that's as far as it goes. It's been breaking my heart these last few weeks to see her going through hell and knowing there was nothing I could do about it. But when she walked in here today... I don't know what's different, but I can see that she's happy again. Both of you are happy again. That's all that matters to me."

Daniel was still staring at him as he spoke, analyzing his every move, watching for the slightest hint of a challenge. He didn't find one. "That's it?" he asked, unable to hide his suspicion.

Carmichael shrugged. "That's it."

Daniel nodded thoughtfully as he thought these words over. "Thank you," he said at last.

Carmichael smiled and went back to dressing his wound. "You're one lucky son of a bitch, Daniel Jackson," he said. "I wish the two of you all the best."

"I appreciate that." He really meant it, too. Maybe he'd underestimated Carmichael after all.

"Okay," Carmichael said with a sigh as he finished with Daniel's arm. "Let's get this show on the road." He took Daniel's other arm and quickly took the blood sample he needed.

The rest of the tests were performed in record time, and before Daniel knew it, Janet was back and they were preparing for the procedure. He couldn't believe how anxious it made him feel.

Janet took his hand as soon as she came in the room, though, and didn't let it go the entire time. She tried to get his mind off of what was coming by chatting away as though nothing was wrong, even telling him with a twinkle in her eye that Bregman had been hitting on her. "Don't worry," she said, "I told him I'm very much taken. He actually looked disappointed. It was quite flattering."

"Does every man you meet have to fall in love with you?" Daniel asked in dismay.

Janet laughed and kissed him. "You have nothing to worry about, Daniel. Trust me."

Daniel was about to reply when klaxons suddenly started to sound an off-world activation. They didn't think anything of it until a few minutes later when Carmichael was about to start the procedure. The infirmary phone started to ring, so he rushed to answer it.

After a moment, he hung it up again and announced, "There's an emergency medical situation on P3X 666. I've just been ordered to accompany the rescue team. Janet, can you handle this?"

Janet barely had time to nod before he dashed out of the room.

Daniel and Janet exchanged concerned glances. "What was that all about?" Daniel asked.

"I don't know," Janet said. "Do you want me to do this, or should we wait for Andrew to come back?"

Daniel took a deep breath and looked at the tray Carmichael had left behind. "It's just a shot, right?" he asked.

"Yes, the chemical compound that Dr. James discovered could counteract..."

"Right," Daniel interrupted, feeling much too antsy to put up with medical babble. "So let's do it."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. I want you to do it." He paused for a moment, and then smiled at her. "That'd be perfect, wouldn't it? Even though you couldn't cure me before, now that we've found something that can help, you'll be the one to make it happen."

Janet smiled and kissed his forehead. "I'd be honoured."

Daniel lay down on the infirmary bed as Janet picked up the syringe and got it ready to use. His heart was racing, and he could feel the adrenaline building up in his system. 'Not long now,' he thought as he closed his eyes and braced himself. 'Soon it'll all be over.'

He felt the prick of the needle in his neck and winced. Then he waited.

The room was completely silent, as even Janet seemed to be holding her breath in anticipation. Each second seemed to take an eternity to pass as Daniel lay there waiting for something to happen... anything.

It started out as a dull ache at the base of his neck, but soon spread up into his head like a wave of hot water. Then it began to burn deep inside his brain, getting hotter and hotter and hurting more and more.

Within seconds, the pain was intense. Daniel grabbed the back of his neck and cried out in agony as his head felt like it was splitting in two.

Then everything grew silent as he descended into darkness.  
  


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...


	44. Chapter 44

**Mind Fever - Chapter 44**

  
  
_Four weeks later..._

Daniel sighed and plopped down onto the bench, taking off his glasses as he did so and rubbing his face wearily. He hadn't slept a wink the night before. He couldn't believe how nervous he was.

Without standing up, he leaned forward and opened his locker. It was the first time he'd used it since the day he'd contracted the mind fever, which he thought was rather ironic. He'd forgotten he'd stored up so much junk in there. He made a mental note to clean it out when he got back.

When he got back. That was exactly why he was nervous, he realized. Here he was, about to go back to the planet where this whole mess had started, and part of him was afraid that the same thing would happen all over again. He knew it was ridiculous - the mind fever had been eradicated weeks ago. They were only going back now to help those poor people who had survived the last outbreak by giving them the chemical that had miraculously cured Daniel one month earlier. There was really no danger.

So why was he still so nervous about it?

As he pondered this question, he started to shed his civilian clothes and don his off-world attire. It felt strange to be wearing these clothes again, but at the same time, it felt good. As he took off his shirt, he felt the healing pendant fall against his chest, and it made him smile. Sam had recently related to him the whole conversation she'd had with Mika, and he was looking forward to seeing him again. He couldn't wait to see the look on the man's face when he arrived healthy and whole. That was the main reason he had insisted on going along with the rest of SG-1 on their mission of mercy.

Once he was dressed, he looked down at his left hand and winced. He knew they technically weren't supposed to wear any kind of jewellery, including wedding bands, on off-world missions, but he really didn't want to take it off. His marriage to Janet was still brand new - they had only just celebrated their one-week anniversary - and part of him was afraid that if he took the ring off, he would suddenly awaken and find it was all just a dream.

Besides that, he needed Janet's strength if he was going to make it through this trip. She had originally been scheduled to come along with them, but she hadn't been feeling well the last few days. Dr. Carmichael was going to join them instead.

Daniel shrugged. "What the hell," he muttered. "It's not like we're heading off into the thick of battle or anything."

He tucked his pendant underneath his shirt, stuck his left hand into his pocket just in case, and made his way to the gateroom.

Jack, Sam, Teal'c, and Carmichael were already waiting at the base of the ramp when he arrived, and he smiled nonchalantly at them as they turned to look at him. "Hey, guys," he said. "We going?"

"Just waiting for you," Jack said. He looked over at the control room window and made a gesture indicating that the dialling sequence could begin. As the gate started to spin, he stepped closer to Daniel. "You sure you're okay with this?" he asked.

Daniel nodded. "I'm fine, Jack."

"Cause you know you don't have to go back there, right?"

"I know."

"Especially on your first mission after... you know."

"I know."

"You can just sit this one out if you want and..."

"Jack!"

Jack gave him an odd look. "What?"

Daniel paused for a moment to make sure Jack was listening, and when he spoke his words were crisp and clear. "Can it."

Jack narrowed his eyes at him in the way Daniel was becoming all too familiar with. People still didn't seem to trust that he was over the whole gonna-blow-at-any-second thing, and he didn't blame them one bit. He actually found that it was fun to play with their heads every once in a while.

He patted Jack's shoulder and gave him a saucy smile. "And I mean that in the nicest possible way," he said.

Jack rolled his eyes and shook his head. Daniel knew how glad he was to have him back on the team, though, so he just grinned triumphantly. It was nice to get one over on Jack sometimes.

As soon as the wormhole was established, the five of them stepped through the gate and immediately found themselves surrounded by a dozen or more hopeful faces. Daniel recognized Brom right away as he stepped out from the pack.

The older man stared open mouthed at Daniel for a long moment before he spoke. "Daniel Jackson," he said, reaching out to touch Daniel's face in wonder. "You... you are well!"

Daniel smiled. "Yes, I am," he said. "And we can help the other survivors become well again, too."

"Your people told us they would continue to look for ways to help us, but... I did not believe they would succeed," Brom said, lowering his head in shame. "Forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive," Jack said. "Just take us to the people who need our help. They'll be better in no time."

"Yes, yes, of course," Brom said hurriedly. "This way."

As he led them towards the hospital, Daniel looked around at the scenery he remembered all too well. He recognized the exact spot where the little girl had fallen ill - the place where he had contracted the disease that had almost taken his life. He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the man who had fallen in step beside him until he felt a hand on his arm.

"Daniel Jackson?"

He turned and stopped dead in his tracks when he found himself face to face with Mika. "Mika," he said, smiling kindly at the man. "It's good to see you again."

Mika's face lit up. "It is good to see you, as well," he said. "And to see you healthy and strong again... it is truly a miracle."

Daniel fished the pendant out from under his shirt to show that he was wearing it. "I guess your gift did the trick," he said. "You have no idea how much it meant to me to have this while I was going through such a terrible time."

Mika's face flushed and he looked down at his feet. "It was just a small token to repay you for what you and your people did for us," he said humbly.

"Well, it was very much appreciated," Daniel said. "How is your wife?"

Mika looked grave then, and answered, "She has been most unwell. It has been hard to see such a strong woman reduced to such a state."

Daniel laid his hand on Mika's arm. "I can imagine," he said, feeling overwhelming empathy for them both. "But I promise you, we will do whatever we can to help her. This drug we've brought for you, combined with what Major Carter can do with her healing device... well, you've seen what it did for me. We can do the same for her."

Mika's eyes glistened with tears as he met Daniel's gaze gratefully. "Then I will be forever in your debt."

Daniel shook his head. "No. Then we'll be even." He reached around to the back of his neck to unclasp the necklace, and then he took Mika's hand and pressed it into his palm, closing his fist securely around it. "Now that I don't need this anymore," he said, "it should go to someone else who does."

Mika opened his hand and looked at it. "My wife," he said.

"Yes," Daniel agreed. "Give it to her with my blessing."

Mika looked up at him again with a pleading look in his eyes. "Would you give it to her? Please?"

Daniel smiled and started walking again towards the hospital. "Of course," he said. "Let's go do that now."

The rest of the day was exhausting but very rewarding. Mika's wife was the first to receive the treatment, and once the initial pain and blackout had passed, everyone could see immediately that it had made a big difference. Mika sobbed in relief, and Daniel couldn't help but join him.

All day long, Daniel was on an emotional roller coaster, swinging from overwhelming pain at seeing what these people had been going through over the last two months to overwhelming joy over the improvements he saw in them after they were given the drug. He longed to share it all with Janet, and found himself counting the minutes until he could return home to her and tell her all about it.

Finally, the last victim had been treated, and there was really no reason for them to stay. Sam was to come back every day for the next week to work on them with the healing device, as they were sure that it wouldn't take as long to heal them now that their bodies were free of the chemical interferent, but other than that, their work there was done. Daniel felt a sense of satisfaction as he stepped through the gate and heard General Hammond's pleasant voice welcoming them home.

Home... Janet.

Daniel couldn't get out of the SGC fast enough.

It was late, and he was exhausted, but he didn't want to spend any more time away from Janet than was absolutely necessary. The drive home seemed to take forever, but finally he pulled into the familiar driveway, practically jumped out of the car, and jogged up the porch steps.

He tried not to make a sound as he entered the house, as he didn't want to disturb Janet's sleep if she'd been feeling unwell again. Leroy came running through from the kitchen to greet him, so Daniel took a moment to squat down and bury his face in the dog's ruff and give him lots of fuss. Leroy seemed satisfied with that, and trotted off happily once Daniel stood up and headed for the stairs.

He entered the bedroom as quiet as a mouse, quickly got undressed, and climbed into bed. Janet was fast asleep, turned on her side facing him, so he just lay there looking at her for a minute. She looked so peaceful and content, smiling that little half-smile that always made him wonder what she was thinking. He couldn't resist - he stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers and leaned forward to brush his lips against hers.

Janet stirred and sighed as she started to wake up.

"Honey, I'm home," Daniel said quietly into her ear.

Janet opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Hi," she said.

Daniel smiled and kissed her again. "Hi."

She yawned and stretched and took one of his hands in one of hers in an almost unconscious action. "I thought you'd be staying at the base tonight," she said.

"Well, I was going to," Daniel said, "but then I thought I'd just come home to my wife instead."

Janet touched his face and looked up at him lovingly for a moment. "How was it?" she asked. "Were you okay with being there?"

Daniel nodded thoughtfully. "It was a little strange at first, but... it felt good to help those people. They've had it even worse these past months than I did."

"That's good."

Daniel snuggled up closer to her, wrapping his arms around her and pressing her head against his chest. "God, I missed you," he said with a sigh. "Seeing those people... it made me realize how awful I was to you. I'm so sorry, Janet."

Janet gripped the front of his t-shirt in her fists. "It wasn't your fault, Daniel, and it's all over now."

"Yes, it is," Daniel was all too glad to agree. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Janet shifted position a little and said, "Daniel?"

"Mmm?"

"I found out some good news today."

"What's that?"

Janet pulled back from him and smiled up into his face.

Daniel waited for her to answer, but when she didn't, he was puzzled. "What?"

She just raised her eyebrows and kept on smiling.

Suddenly, lightning seemed to strike Daniel's brain, and he understood. "You... you mean you're..."

Janet beamed at him and nodded, even though he couldn't seem to finish his sentence.

Daniel laughed joyfully. "We're gonna have a baby?!"

"Yes!"

Daniel wanted to say something - anything - but it was useless to try. He was completely and utterly speechless.

Once he felt like he'd gaped at her long enough, Daniel let out a whoop and started planting noisy kisses on her stomach.

Janet's peals of laughter were without a doubt the most wonderful sounds he had ever heard. Despite everything they had been through, they had somehow managed to come out of it happier than they had ever been in their entire lives, and it never ceased to amaze him.

'Yes,' Daniel thought as he covered his wife in kisses, 'life is good.'

THE END

  
  
_If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.  
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  
For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.  
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.  
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.  
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love._

1 Corinthians 13


End file.
